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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2018. page


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My boyfriend(30m) and I have been dating for about a year.
He used to be really heavy into drugs, but quit a few years before he met me.
ABout 3 months ago, he asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome with one of his guy friends.
I wasn't sure, but figured whatever, let's give it a go. It was a great experience, and we both had a great time.
SInce then, we've had a threesome with a different friend, though sometimes repeats of last friends, every week. Maybe twice a week at most.
After about a month and a half, he'd just say he wasnt feeling into it, and simply watch me have sex with whichever friend was there. A few times he would even leave me there for the night. He was cool with it, and so was I.
Last weekend, we went to a bar, and met this new guy he claimed to have known for a couple years.
He went back to his friends hotel room, and had a threesome, and then he said he was heading out.
Me and this guy had sex a few more times, and afterwards, just laid there and talked.
He was really cool to talk about, and knew alot about engineering(my major). This college talk lead to him asking me, "Is that why you do this? So you can pay for college?"
Uh What?
Apparently I'm a prostitute. I have never been so fucking disgusted in my life. My own boyfriend has been selling me!! They weren't his friends, they were customers from craigslist!!
What do I do? Can I call the police? How do I prove this when I don't know any of the guys names? I agreed to the sex so they didn't rape me, I don't think.
Please someone help me. I feel so fucking gross and alone right now
38 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>16587214
Your boyfriend is a pimp, you can contact the police about it if you want. I hope you break up with him and don't talk to him
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ppffft
serves you right
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>>16587214
hahaha holy fucking lel

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Hey /adv/, how can I move to New York City?

I've lived in Austin for a while and think it's time to change things up.

To be honest, I'm scared to just do it. I don't know where to move, or even how to find an apartment and a roommate.

my question is, where do I start? How much money would I need to make to rent a cheap apartment? What about with a roommate? What would be the best part of the city to move as a 27 yo male looking to socialize with others his age?

Also, anyone from New York have any experiences, advice, or warnings?

Anything would be appreciated. Pic related
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Keep it up asshole.
We will just report all of your threads.
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>>16587094
...what?
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>>16587068
>NYC
>Cheap apartment

Probably 100k / yr, maybe 120 to be comfortable

If you consider Brooklyn to be NYC, check out Bay Ridge, it's hella cheap

I'm attracted to somebody only until they're attracted to me. What's wrong with me and how do I get over this?

>10/10 silver Fox
>dressing all cute for him and shit
>really just want the D
>he asks to go out off coffee
>I brighten up his day
>acting like a love sick puppy
>I immediately shutdown

>8/10 Israeli cutie
>kind of a geek but really suave
>cute accent, very talented
>start to flirt
>he tells me I'm beautiful and shit
>he wants me at art conventions with him
>shut down, cut contact

Am I broken?
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16586879
Have you thought of just going for hook-ups?
Since you literally get bored with guys instantly, it may work out great for you.
Man-whore reporting in.
>>
Basically, you're trash and you need to spend a lot of time figuring out who you are, instead of wasting people's time.

Don't dress to impress, don't engage in conversations with people. Just get through the day and then go home and watch self-help stuff on youtube.
>>
You're insecure. You like them, but once they like you back then you start to think there must be something wrong with them because they like you. Like if they were so great they wouldn't like you. Just them liking you, makes you think they must have a huge flaw. That's your own insecurity

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i bought my mom a\ tablet for christmas. and im stuck between unboxing it and setting it up for her, or letting her unbox it and set it up herself

i dunno what she would want to do and i want to keep it a secret,,'

Help?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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is she a literal retard?
if no then let her set it up herself and she can ask for help if she needs/wants it.
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Set it up for her in secret. The worst part of any electronic gift is spending an hour or more setting it up.
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Unbox and set-up for her.

Then leave a note or background on it that says Merry Christmas mom or some shit for extra points

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Is it still my fault even if I don't date Chads? Its not like I seek out 10/10 men. The 10/10 men that hit on me I ignore and brush off. I usually only give serious chances to more humble, sweet guys and all the guys I've been in relationships with were 5/10 or lower. So is it still all my fault that I end up with men who start being abusive and cheating?
22 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>16586799
>The 10/10 men that hit on me I ignore and brush off.
Why?
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>>16586799
>>16586805

I recommend you go for 2/10s at MOST to avoid supporting the patriarchy.
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>>16586799
its not about the 5/10 or 10/10
As a guy with shitloads of friends, the guys you are looking for are the more shy types. But it's hard for a girl to come in touch with them since they wont hit on girls

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My girlfriend I have just met in college(4 months together, 2 months dating) has an ex boyfriend of 5 years that she broke up with a little after he joined the navy. She has facebook posts about how in love she is with him and what not. She has told me how much she loves tall guys before and he is 6'6" and I am 5'8". I feel physically inferior to him, and she has a lot of history with this guy(like you could make a shitty country music video with a collage of their past and them growing up together).

Before the break started, he started texting her about how he is coming home for christmas. She didnt tell him anything about having a new boyfriend and she texted him with a lot of smileys and what not(I read the text messages and we talked about it). He wants to see her, and I know she wants to see him. She told me she wouldnt go see him if I dont want her too but I would have no way of knowing if she did because I live in a different state. When I first met her, she cheated on a boyfriend of 2 months with me. She said it was because she was unhappy with him and knew it wasnt going to work out. Well in a series of events, she hasnt been able to go see him yet because she has been busy with getting teeth pulled, wisdom teeth removal, going to see her dad in a different state, and what not. Today, she told me she isnt going to get to see him due to time conflictions(but I dont know if I believe that). I need advice on how to handle this and what to think. This is my first girlfriend.
>pic related
17 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16586766
Go and start dating new girls. It gives you options and that is basically what you need right now.

>she cheated on a boyfriend of 2 months with me

Well, yeah. Guess what will happen next.
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>>16586766
>first met her, she cheated on a boyfriend of 2 months with me

Was with you up until this bit. Sorry dude. Whether or not she's cheating on you with him, this relationship is doomed to failure.

Relationships only work if there's total mutual honesty, and that's really hard to have with someone who's cheated in the past, especially if they cheated with you. That, coupled with the fact that she hasn't told him she has a new boyfriend, should make you very uncomfortable. Whether or not she sleeps with him, she's probably not fully committed to your relationship.
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>>16586766
>Before the break started, he started texting her about how he is coming home for christmas
>She didnt tell him anything about having a new boyfriend
Giant red flag

>She told me she wouldnt go see him if I dont want her too but I would have no way of knowing
It's a trap. You say no, she resents you and does it anyways. Say yes, and it happens without struggle.

>she cheated on a boyfriend of 2 months with me
She will do this to every guy, including you.

My advice. She is not gf material. She sounds sneaky and manipulative. Find a girl who isn't a headache.

How fucked am i? i have a date with her on tuesday....
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16586736
You didn't do anything wrong. What, are you never supposed to ask about her life? It's an awkward moment, but every new relationship has awkward moments. Roll with it and don't give up at the slightest bump.

You'd have fucked up if you made some cruel joke about her brother or something. You're fine.
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Depends how hard you tip your fedora
>>
Write exactly the following:

"Sorry for bringing it up, but thanks for being honest with me."

And then ask a new question to continue the conversation.

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Just recently got my first boyfriend whom I love very very much and that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but the problem is that he doesn't have a job. He lives with his parents and doesn't have any future plans whatsoever. He just basically sits at home all day just playing video games.
Now I don't have a problem with this but how do I explain this to family members and friends? I'm more of an outgoing ambitious person and it's kind of embarrassing when people ask what he does.
Do I help him finding a career? Everytime I bring up the subject he keeps pushing me away and doesn't want do talk about it. Am I just being silly?
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
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IF you love him as you said, no need to be embarassed.
And if this is really a problem, the relationship will end soon. So don't worry. Just enjoy what you have.
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>>16586614
If his parents are rich it's not really a big deal.
>>
>>16586614

Just tell your family that your goal in life is to be a mother figure to a manchild and raise it as your own.

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Been straight my whole life, except at one point being attracted to my /fit/ roommate 9 years ago (nothing happened).

>inb4 I just want the D
I've had a 8 year LTR, I've fucked 10 women in total (5 this year, 2 of them for 2 months each.) I absolutely love women, and there's nothing I like more than eating a girl out and fucking her for hours.

However, I just sent a message on a dating app to a transgender, because recently I've been thinking about it, and basically I've figured out that traps don't repell me, only masculinity. There's no way I would get into bed with someone manly. By the looks of it she's most likely bottom, and I'll admit I might want a bit of the D, but not as much as I'd like to fuck someone feminine in the ass, so it doesn't really matter. I generally gravitate towards skinny/fit girls, and beautiful faces. She's nine years younger than me, and I think that helps as well. I think it would be fun to try at least, but I'm not going to go looking for another one if this one isn't interested.
>inb4 her/she
For the sake of convo, let's just call her a she.

I was straight-forward in my message, although she said in her description she wasn't interested in chatting or hookups only, I asked if she was pre-/post-op and bottom/switch, and told her that I was curious for the first time in my life, only been with cis-girls previously.

She checked out my profile. I might get a reply, and I might not. Seeing that I'm used to talking to women, and I know how to hold a conversation as a man, I can't help to think that other rules apply when one talks to and treat someone born male. Are there things I could just skip in the seduction process? Personally I don't believe that trans people can ever fully become the gender they identify as, since chromosomes. Is there something I should consider doing different to how I would approach girls?

>TL;DR how to date traps

Enlighten me ITT, family

Pic related
17 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I don't think it's a good idea OP, but... I mean, it's your life. If you ever plan on wanting to start a family with her, you won't be able to have children of your own, so keep that in mind. If you are okay with that then, well by all means go ahead and date her. Just remember that people's minds change over time, and you might end up hurting her... :(
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FFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG
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>>16586578
You're homosexual. Just find a guy who's willing to wear a dress.

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This will sound pretty fucking retarded, but here it goes;

Any good ways to self-inflict pain without leaving any long-term side effects, such as scarring etc.?

I'm not emotionally unstable, or anything like that. I'd just like to increase my pain tolerance, aswell as the self-control of pushing through the pain and to not give up.

Apart from extreme endurance training (I do once a week), cutting and electroshock, I'm not looking at alot of good options.

Impaling myself with needles? Hold my hands in cold water?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16586560
I think stinging plants and insects are your best bet. See if you can order some Gympie Gympie leaves.
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>>16586560
don't do anything that actually fucks with your body. don't poke holes in it with a needle, even if those holes go away. don't cut. plus this shit would leave scars. you really wanna increase your pain tolerance in a healthy manner? stick your hands in cold water like you said. hold onto an ice cube for as long as you can. research this and learn the limits in which you'd risk frostbite. also doing something like 1 legged squats until you can't do any more. without weights, you wouldn't really be risking hurting yourself i don't think. (dont take my word obviously) same goes for push-ups
>>
>>16586581
requires doctor's attention and steroid treatment, at least in the case i read from one of the first google searches. i also think something that fucks with your body isn't okay, like i said. i wouldnt ever go for stinging plants or insects, as with needles or cutting

I'm male, 25, handsome and earning money, and romantic life is just too fucking painful to actively pursue.

Women I could spend the rest of my life with are few and far between to begin with. I was raised well and have an inquisitive soul and would say I'm very forward thinking but like everyone else I have baggage.

About 3 times a year I'll meet someone who I have enough of a connection with to start believing they might be someone I could share my life with and it always turns out we're incompatible. They're all very intelligent and open and I'm not able to be completely truthful and open with them because I have a paraphelia that can't be entertained or even admitted too in this society. I would be an idiot to let someone know what I'm dealing with internally without knowing them for a very long time or maybe even never.

I let them in as much as I can but they feel that I'm holding something back, there's a dissonance somewhere below that I'm not showing, a lack of depth to my 'openness' that only allows me to go so far on certain topics because they can't know a part of me that is forbidden to be expressed.

About once every two years someone gets through and we seem to work but then the same thing happens as before in a more drawn out way.

I met a girl recently who was perfect. I really thought it was going to work and it crashed and burned last night. I'm so sick of opening up and being hurt.

Is there any remedy to this? Or am I just an outlier on the edge of humanity who's too strange to find another?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16586494

Might want to consider elaborating on what makes you so deep and unique, how much money you are earning, doing what, and what you generally do with your life.

Again, stressing what makes you so profound and unique.
>>
>>16586494
Advice will vary depending on what is the paraphilia, so say what it is.
>>
> I have a paraphelia that can't be entertained or even admitted too in this society.

I secretly want my gf to eat my ass but won't admit it. Can I relate?

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We only get one life and so many people are afraid to live it for reasons like "what will other people think?" Or "I'm this way because x"

This shit makes me so sad. Every time I come to /adv/ there's more people who are making themselves miserable because they're letting other people's actions control their behavior or because they've convinced themselves they know what other people will think. So what? Why do we care?

I challenge every single one of you to give me one good reason why you're not happy right now, or why you're not pursuing your ambitions, that doesn't have to do with blaming somebody else.

Pic not related
35 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>16586386

Write a self-help book.

They also tend to push the idea that if you try hard and take accountability for your problems, everything will suddenly magically go well.

Fact is, a lot of people try in life only to get to upper middle class midlife crisis land.
>>
tell me how to get peace

no matter how much ambitions you have conquered or how succesful you are, if you don't have peace you will suffer like everyone else

people who have it all also suffers
>>
Some people are trying to steer a stationary car, and others are putting the pedal to the floor while the nose is stuck in a ditch.

I've always had dermatitis on my scalp (severe dandruff along light scalp psoriasis), having in the last years both my face and hands get affected as well.

I have in these last months found to have what seems called a "Penile Psoriasis" white/purple spot on my foreskin, just as the picture from Wikipedia shows (NSFW).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psoriasis#/media/File:PenilePsoriasis.jpg

I am now treating the other dermatitis by getting enough food and vitamins, since I've always struggled with food by both being an ectomorph and losing weight too much easily, even by eating six meals a day.
I already workout regularry but get too little sunlight.

I don't use any toxic chemicals on my skin, now that I'm trying to detox from what I used until last years and by following Herbalist cures.

What should I do with my genitalia?

P.S: Never had any sexual approach.
54 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Do you see a dermatologist?
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>>16586368

I don't see any doctors since they are all scammers.
I've always had a bad experience and sincerely prefer to cure myself at home, since a doctor would just give me some autistic suggestion along a toxic cream which just seems to temporarily work.

Also I wouldn't be here if I was seeing a dermatologist.
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>>16586372
The creams rarely work. But they do have a pill now called otezla. I have an appointment in January to get on it. Don't have to do the blood tests like you do with the shots/biologics. You could try a gluten free diet. There is a forum for psoriasis with tons of at home remedies and suggestions. Like nationalpsoriasis something...

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I think many anons who lurk chans could learn from this, so I hope experienced people out there contribute.

How does one go about growing up after due time? It seems to be a natural process to most people. Getting a girlfriend, a job, having sex, doing adult stuff in general. It comes a time when the fruit matures and it just falls down from the tree, naturally.

However, I haven't done that. My profile is undoubtedly similar to many anons. I'm 23, kissless virgin, have never had a job and still struggling with school (at least I don't have to pay for it, it's a public university where I live), only learned to drive last year.

Having decided to do it, how does one go about actually doing it? I have missed the right time and now I am clueless.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16586359
there is no right time. you're not a personality-less robot. hell some people don't start til they're 30, some start at 16. they're not you so who cares? if you have to, apply to anything. even if it's retail or some other meaningless stuff. a paycheck is a paycheck. do the activities you enjoy and look for classes with them if you wanna meet people. if there aren't classes, get out there and enjoy them on your own, meet people naturally. it doesn't matter that you haven't kissed anyone unless you want to be with a girl who doesn't accept you for who you are. that's why being a virgin when i was about 20 didnt make a difference with my first serious gf
>>
Start putting in applications to places. It's annoying, but easy. Just get a basic job that you'll have no problem quitting when the time comes, like a cashier. It will teach you important lessons in both socializing with people, and hating people. Start putting money away for inevitable car troubles or health issues.

Other than that, I can't help you. I'm still learning to be an adult.
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>>16586395
Unfortunately I cannot have a full time job while studying and part time jobs don't exist where I live (3rd world country, imagine all the low paying jobs the mexicans take over there except everyone here is mexican).

>>16586392
Can you share a bit of your experience?

Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.

>Frog
Also piss off.
341 posts and 14 images submitted.
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Girls, why do none of you study computer science?
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This is not the first time I post this question. I really want to see my wife's sister naked. Preferably her showing me, rather than getting a creep shot. How can I go about doing that without messing up relationships?
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>>16586411
I study cs. I even do freelance work and code for an open source game.

my best friend is also female and a programmer

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