Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1975. page
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Hey, I need female advice/perspective.
I would like you to tell me how you would react to me bringing some stuff up, if you were my gf.
Because of some events in her past she doesn't feel comfortable with anything sexual. When we were together in bed one time, and I guided her hand down to my dick she completely froze. Didn't say or do anything, which was weird and kind of scary.
Now this isn't my first time dealing with 'no-sex' females, so I want to let her know that I'm ok with it for now.
If i say something along the lines of: 'Don't worry, I've been with two other girls who couldn't have sex straight away' and then something like 'We can go at the pace you are comfortable with'. How would you react.
Is it completely a bad idea to mention previous relationships to a new gf? my last one kept pestering me to talk about previous girls, I guess she was just insecure or something.
So femanons, is it a good idea? Would it reassure her more than it will make her angry?
Have a pretty gem in return.
>>16615356
>Don't worry, I've been with two other girls who couldn't have sex straight away
Nothing would get me drier faster. I would take it as if you see me as a challenge to be conquered. No, I'm also a person, who happens to have an extremely low sex partner count and takes sex seriously.
What issues in her past are we talking about here?
>Have a pretty gem in return
Do you just not have experience talking with normal women?
Let her know that it's okay that she doesn't want to have sex right away. It feels nice to know that I can take my time and not have to rush into it. It also shows that you care enough about her to be willing to wait.
>>16615366
Good advice thanks. That's what I'm hoping to achieve with whatever I say.
>>16615365
so never mention that she is just another girl on my list?
>Do you just not have experience talking with normal women?
Why do you ask that? I can talk with girls normally, if I consider than as just humans to interact with. Once I start thinking sexually/romantically it goes badly really fast. Thats religious upbringing...
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How do you become uninterested in dating?
There are so many unavailable, unappealing and uninterested people around, and the thirst is so very real.
The concept of not being interested in having a relationship feels so fucking foreign to me. Like people could just get to decide "nah eating isn't my thing" and never feel hungry, or just decide to quit sleeping and never feel tired.
Really simple . Join an online dating site (there are plenty of free ones out there), stay on it a couple of months, and any urge you had to date will be killed quickly by the sheer mass of retarded mongoloids that prowl them .
huh
>>16615229
I've been on okcupid, tinder, grindr and some others for well over six months now. It still kills me to know I'm going to die alone.
Hi, everyone.
I startet wo write a Scy-fi Web-Novel about Virtal Reality recently. And i decidet to release it on a Blogg.
The whole thing is in German, but i integratet a google Tanslater on the Site (whitch surprisingly, turned out to be quite competent).
So here is te obvious Problem:
I released 12 Chapters by now, but noone knows about it. How can i make People notice my Blogg (besides posting this Question)?
The Blogg is here, if you are interested:
http://alanfahl.blogspot.de/
>>16615163
I'll check it out next time I take a shit or
Have time to read.
>>16615163
Oh wait it's in German
Can you translate it and repost?
>>16615176
>>16615176
I could, but it will not be better than with google Translator (English is not my Native Laguage).
I probably will do a professional Translation at some time, but since it will (most probably) cost me, i'l wait with that until its worth it.
I just miss my ex so much lately. At like random times I just get soo wet thinking about him and maybe it's hormones but not only cause I swear I just love him and his soul. He's so admirable and loveable even though he doesn't meet my perfect standards. It's like how I felt before I couldn't handle his clinginess and left him. I don't know should I send him a message? I know he'd be totally into it... But I know he's not my soul mate. And I only want to be with my soul mate... But my soul mate never asked me out even tho he knows I'm...
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>soul mate
Yeah, no.
>>16615144
Omg tmi why am I so embarrassing
>>16615144
Now that's a shitpost.
I recently received a couple thousand dollar check from an employer, and decided to buy a Rolex. Which one should I buy? And which color
>gold or silver
is more popular or others like more? All suggestions would be appreciated:)
>>16615123
theres no right answer here cuz its entirely subjective. while there are little things we could recommend about, the best thing is to actually go out and try some on, get a feel for feel and an eye for design. while a rolex is quite a bit about status, the fact that it is a rolex is enough, invest in one that suits you.
no ones gonna be like 'OH THAT ROLEX ISNT AS IMPRESSIVE AS THIS OTHER ROLEX THAT I KEEP CLOSE TABS ON'
That's called N*gger rich---when you get a large sum of money and waste it on something like jewelry
>>16615131
What if OP is a nigger though?
A couple thousand is going to buy you a shitty used Rolex that you won't be able to afford to get maintenance on and it will eventually stop working properly.
As far as popular ones go I'd say a GMT Master or a Submariner but those go for around $4-5K used.
>source: former Rolex Submariner owner.
>brother calls from downstairs
>"Anon, did... Did you post on /d/??"
>.................
>"No?"
>mfw
What did you post on /d/ anon?
The jig is up, Anon. Odds are he'll be asking about /adv/ next.
So you decided to post about it somewhere else on 4chan? Are you an idiot?
For a while, I have noticed that I creep people out, especially when it comes to women. Men are just chill and don't show any signs of disgust or hostility, same goes for old prunes as well.
I don't look attractive, but I am not hideous and I take casual care of my appearance. So it must be my behavior that is setting people off?
I never flirt, I am reserved and serious, I value professionalism and I don't act nice or negatively, just being neutral. I don't do anything unapporiate, yet why I am treated with disgust and contempt? Because I don't...
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>>16614964
Are you super quiet or shy? That can creep people out who don't know you or know that you're just shy. I used to have a creepy vibe but it was only because I'd get nervous as shit around pretty women and end up acting awakward. Unless you're a rapist or pedo I doubt you're actually creepy, it's probably just some minor shit your doing that's throws people off. 99% of the people I've met that others have called creepy were just shy or awakward and unintentionally gave off a creepy vibe. They weren't actually creepy once you got to know them. If you had to guess what things do you do that might make someone uncomfortable?
>>16614978
I am slightly sadistic, that and my blatant emotional numbness are just something I keep inside, I am amoral and I wouldn't call myself a good person, in a more serious relationship I am capable of ruining lives whether intentionally or unintentionally, truly I am a evil cunt. Can people exactly tell of this? Do they know that i am not morally upsound? depressed?
>>16614964
>it must be my behavior
prove it? as in, post pics, lets see. you might have some features throwing people off that you are just used to.
>i dont act nice
>just neutral
are you sure you arent just acting apathetic, which tends to piss people off?
>i feel apathy all the time
sounds like you mighta started with a small thing that snowballed. like you had resting...
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Decided to stop smoking the last week, after roughly 13 years. I promised myself I would forget cigarettes, but fighting the urge to go outside and buy a pack is getting really difficult tonight. This is not /adv/ material maybe, I'm just looking for attention, a kind word, some motivation. Being alone (gf is out of the town for a couple days) amplifies my need for smoke tenfold, but I really want to succeed this time.
>I promised myself I would forget cigarettes
I tell people quite often that there's no such thing as "quitting smoking." You don't quit. You just stop for a while. Hopefully it's a very long while. But the notion that this is just going to stop being a part of you is bogus. You will always be ready to become a smoker again. Sometimes the taste and smell will come back to you out of nowhere and you'll be craving it, too. This is the reality of your life going forward.
>some motivation
You'll...
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Cravings don't last that long, that's all it is. A voice in your head telling you it ain't that bad if you light up, just remember you don't want to. Keep reminding yourself, because you will regret it, you'll get back into that "smoke em' if you got em' mentality" It's one tonight, then in the morning, than after lunch and so on. You got this.
Dude, I know there's a lot of stigma around it right now, but a lot of my family is having a way easier time with those E-vapes.
My family only gets the juices from in the United states, and shops that are willing to vape their own products. You could also go organic, and get bottles with limited ingredients that you can look up and read what they are. I personally think they are safer that the crap you are smoking in cigarettes, and they are cheaper.
If you decide to go that route, I suggest the more boxy type one than the pen, and start off the nicotine...
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So guys, me and my girl have been together for seven months, but just recently we've kinda straightened up about things. She's been Christian all her life but when we got together, she apparently liked me for a while, and I took her virginity about a month or two after we got together. She liked it and of course I did, so we decided to take the correct procedures and I got some condoms, but we never got around to getting her on birth control because she lives with her father and everyone in the town she lives near knows her dad, so we just decided to wait. Eventually...
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gotta unbrainwash that bitch to love herself
How can sex with condoms be painful?
>>16614790
you have to deconstruct it for her. might be hard cuz some people do not waiver, but it sounds like she does.
sit her down and talk about sex, and explain that there are plenty of things that are considered sinful but are common place, and that even sex after marriage is still supposed to be only for pro creation, no condoms, no bith control, so unless she wants to be a baby factory her choices are abstain or be a 'sinner'.
go down the list of all the supposedly sinful things that are...
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Due to my environment, I can't be comfortable. Because I can't be comfortable, I can't study for shit. I will do nothing instead of something, but I'm not content with this mindset.
I can forsee that if the place I was living at was less messy, and if there weren't constant sound, I'd be serene. If I was alone in a pleasant, nay a sterile environment, then I'd have it a lot easier to fulfill what I want to do.
I won't be able to move until quite a lot of years (barely 18), so what do I do now? It is crucial that I am able to do intelligent stuff (reading, and maths). I'm able to do these, but my mind's uneasiness and boredom kick in way too fast. It's like my mind is always reserving power for my environment for some reason. Everything about this place is off. The air isn't so fresh, the rug doesn't feel right, and is most of the time dirty, the constant ticking is being registered subconsciously, the tv is on and I can hear it, I always sit on my bed 'cause I'm sharing a small room, so there isn't a desk, and this laptop uses an ethernet cable, so I can't move it around too much. My back constantly hurts because of me sitting on my bed. There's also a lot of shit on the floor that makes me feel a bit better when cleaned up, but the mess always comes back, and I'm not really autistic, so stuff lying on the ground isn't really gonna bother me physically, so why care for it?
Does anyone have any life advice?
People keep saying that I'm smart, but I know my limitations, and I'm not anywhere near them.
If I just had enough space for a desk and a chair. That would be life changing for me, but there's just no space.
>>16614757
If your environment is messy, clean it up. Or at least try to keep what part of the room you have clean. If you're still finding it hard to focus and study, leave the environment and go somewhere else. Maybe outside or a library or a cafe. Just get out and go do stuff, since you said your back is hurting from you being on your bed too much. Clean up what you can, do what you can, deal with the cards you're dealt with until you can get a different hand.
>>16614825
The library closes early, and I have a laptop that needs its power source since the battery is dead.
The cards I've been dealt aren't that great. I don't see a solution to a perfect answer, but I posted this just in case someone else might come up with some genius situation. I doubt that'll be the case.
LIFEHACK & GENERAL TIPS FRED YO
So there's 3 people living in our house including me, my dad and my younger brother. He brings his gf home almost everyday, who also sleeps here whenever possible.
Now, it's not that there's not enough space (my brother has his own separate room) but it's still like having a guest over all day. And even though she's actually a cool person and not a complete fucking bitch, having her here almost 24/7 is kinda uncomfortable for me. I wouldn't even want my best friend to be here ALL the time.
Most of you know that comfy feeling when you're home with only your family members. I rarely have that.
I tried talking to her about this but we didn't really get to a solution.
So how should I approach this issue /adv/?
If he's the one who owns/is paying for the place. It's his place. Tough shit. Move out if it bugs you that much.
If you're equally splitting the costs, talk to him if you can, but you're still taking to your dad who probably supported you for most of your life (see above).
If you're under 18. You shouldn't be on here.
>>16614727
>failing to understand the post
His brother, dude. His BROTHER. I'm assuming neither of them is paying rent and so this is a reasonable complaint.
That said, are you under 18, OP? Because if so he's right and you really shouldn't be here.
>>16614715
Tell him. I know how you feel man. My gf had her best friend stay with us and she's really nice but man I got tired of not being to chill in my underwear and drink beer. I don't see how you're going to win this situation op. Younger brothers take shit personally a lot of times and get defensive or offended.
How do I deal with the fear of STDs? My anxiety makes It where I dont wana have sex because I'm afraid of getting an std f some sort. How can I get over this fear? I'm afraid of everything I have no balls for being a man
>>16614674
Always play it safe and use protection. Do it with people you trust and know.
>>16614684
Well, cunilingus is kinda unnatural with latex.
Wear condoms, get tested regularly. Personally I would advise to ask a girl "do you want me to wear a condom, are you on the pill?" If she says, whether reluctantly or enthusiastically, that you can go bareback, absolutely refrain from going down on her (or fucking her if you have a bad feeling about it). Do not delude yourself into thinking that she is willing to risk her own sexual health just this one time for just you.
Having said that, oral has way lower risks than penetrative sex, and not even all STDs can be transmitted this way. Still, don't do it...
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Is it acceptable to use gift cards to pay for food on a date?
I'm poor as fuck, and got gift cards for Christmas for restaurants like Applebees, Steak n shake, etc
Let's assume the girl and I kind of know each other already, this isn't like a first encounter or anything
Go for it if you don't care what she thinks.
>>16614573
yeah it seems fine, it shouldnt make a bad impression and she should understamd that its good to use it
I don't really see what's wrong with it.
Oldfags any advice ?
"Honour is a male abstraction, don't expect women to understand"
Wow.
1. True
2. Bullshit, but people will fight about it
3. Kinda true. It depends on what the woman wants out of a man. But being a whiny feminine puss isn't going to work beyond the age of 20, unless you have resources that a woman can exploit for their personal subsistence.
4. True. Be receptive to what they're feeling, but don't put up with mindgame bullshit. And remember that you are expendable if they consider you to be their personal security blanket.
5. True. It's why 90% of /adv/ are just fucking sad assholes who need more life experience.
6....
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>>16614602
this is the only one i dont agree with, and was likely added as an afterthought for trolling purposes
