Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1972. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1972. page
Girlfriend of 8 years, and only reason I see to keep on living, just broke up with me for good. What should I be doing right now?
It was my fault, I made her suffer for 2 years, neglected our relationship. I understand her breaking up
But right now I feel like my life has been destroyed
I have pretty much no friends, she was all I have. We've been long distance for those 2 years, cause of me taking too long to finish my dissertation
She won't talk to me on the phone (hasnt for months) because she feels it would just make it hurt more
So my 8 year relationship got ended through facebook texts
I am extremely desperate, feel like my world was destroyed. About to call my mother who I was never even close with, cause she's the only person left in the world who cares about me
what is one thing I should be doing or not doing right now?
please someone be out there, my world is ending
>what is one thing I should be doing or not doing right now?
Finishing your dissertation obviously.
>>16616700
thanks for replying
working on my dissertation as the first thing? the breakup happened literally minutes ago, there's no way I'll be able to focus
>>16616708
You won't be able to focus on anything for a while anon, best you can do is attempt to keep your mind busy.
>was a boderline NEET with no hobbies or anything
>tried to change
>rented a saxophone for nothing, tried to play but was super hard
>bought my dream car, don't feel any happier
>been going out at bars/clubs for more than 2 years, spent in total thousands of dollar and didn't even get laid or made new friends
>tried to get into guns
>did my firearm license, bought and SKS but everything else is expensive and I am having second thoughts about continuing this hobby
>love racing, did a lot of karting with my younger brother but it's super expensive
>spent around 600$ in total on gaming (but fortunately I stopped) and gaming hardware (graphic cards...)
>spent a lot of money going to the gym
>tried to completely change my wardrobe, cost me thousands of dollar
>still look like shit
>bought a home gym for thousands of dollar
>almost never use it
>tried to get into rock climbing
>super expensive
And that's just the surface. I have tried to improve myself in various ways in the previous 2 years but in the end, I haven't progressed at all and I feel like I am a financial drain to my parents. I am not any smarter with money or have I achieved anything with all these spendings.
I give up. I tried to challenge destiny but sometimes, it is better than just accept your fate.
>spending money on shit without researching it properly
>>16616520
Oh I did my research but everything is fucking expensive.
New hobby? Buy this, this and THIS!
Want to have a good time at the club? DRINK
Want to look good in public? Waste thousands of dollars to just look like the others.
Everything requires you to pay absurd amount of money and I wonder how everyone does it. I can't cope with the fact that I have lost so much money. Considering the easy way out.
all this sounds like me cept without the car and not nearly as much money to throw around and didnt even bother buyying stuff for hobbies
I was having sex wit my new boyfriend, it was my first time and he didn't spend enough time warming me up and I then told him I was a v and to go slow and shit. He put me in doggy and plowed me. It hurt like hell, even when I touched my clit to make it feel better. I was actually in tears and told him it hurt...he just continued and pushed my back down ... It was traumatizing but he cuddled with me after and I was scared he'd do it again. I'm really repulsed by my bf now and I just want to stay rational and not have an emotional outburst but whenever I think about it I get angry and feel ashamed. I told him this tonight and he said it's normal to want to fuck your gf like that and that my feelings are typical. Then asked if I was ever sexually abused.
I don't know if I can ever enjoy sex again
>>16616497
That's messed up. What a prick.
Tell him to respect you. If he was worth anything he would. If not, leave. You said new boyfriend so you obviously haven't invested much time with him anyway.
>>16616497
That's very not right. That's not how a first time is supposed to be at all.
That's horrible.
will I have a hard time trying to find a job with an Economics degree from a top university? I ask because I have no clue what the job market is like these days
If you have a distinction average then you will have no problem.
If you have credit average then yeah, you will.
>>16616417
>distinction average
is that some australian term? I'm Canadian you fuckin convict shit
>Getting a degree without even knowing what job you want
The fuck are you doing
My bf has no dreams, passions or goals.
He gets back from his job at CVS and smokes weed and plays videogames until he goes to bed. That is, with no exaggeration, literally his entire life.
I've tried to get him involved in other stuff but he refuses. Tried to get him registered for community college classes, he also refuses. I want to travel and experience the world and he seems content in his little bubble.
I have a career in finance I'm developing and end up paying for his habits. I feel like I'm his mother. What do I do?
>>16616325
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you two are compatible. And you can't change him. People can only change themselves, for themselves, by themselves.
>>16616325
>What do I do?
move on , or continue to mother him maybe he will change if you do the right things and cajole him to do something with his life.
>>16616325
Move on. Why do you want to waste your time "fixing him"?
Think about yourself in this scenario, do you want to always be pulling his weight?
should i reconnect with my crew?
tl;dr stopped talking to my close friends for months after continually feeling im "that guy" in the group people don't seem to care about that much. Felt friends forget or excluded from events especially as they start doing more drugs and a new guy enters the picture.
i have two friends and we're close. known one for 6 and another for 8, but ive always felt like "that" guy in the group. like a second class friend. If we were on a bus trip somewhere id find them sitting next to each other and me alone because they bonded over weed. It always made me feel inferior and pathetic and really got to me as I've felt I've always been that guy. I don't have my friends and these guys are the only people I hang out with. recently a new guy got introduced to the group and i felt my status went down even lower. I've always felt my friends secretly don't like me. I've always felt most people just naturally dislike me. Keep in mind I'm not a neckbeard of some socially awkward faggot. In fact, due to my lack of friends i go on dates with a multiple women solely for companionship. It's pretty sad.
Another issue is my friends are hugely into getting fucked up and drugs. That was ok but as we've gotten older i'm getting way over this shit as this is all they ever do. I've always felt my two friends bonded very well together over smoking and drugs and this further isolated me. They'd hit each other up to smoke, do some prescriptions, drink, etc and leave me out of it. recently they took up cocaine and this new fucking guy joined them. And I started feeling more and more isolated from them, most of the time of us hanging out would be spent on the couch while they smoked weed, drank alcohol, and did a few lines, all the way into the night then they'd leave. I was tired of that shit. I started feeling incredibly lonely and disconnected as they came to do more drugs and i just sat next to them watching them get fucked up.
Eventually they started doing something to really piss me off.
about five months ago I sent a group text for all of us to hang out and found no one replying. i facetimed one of my friends who answered to find the three of them AND one of my brothers friends who isn't even in the group chat hanging out at this new guy's house. It felt terrible to be the one guy no one cared to say "hey meeting at x at 9"
This was an event that reoccurred several times, where seemingly a bunch of people would be invited and no one would bother to tell me and it really hurt because I considered these guys my bros. I got upset and brought it up and they made excuses and sincerely apologized. But here it was happening again. I tried to be cool and we shot the shit and i ask if i can come over and it gets all awkward. i say never mind smiling and laughing like its cool and hang up the phone and feel like complete shit. They didn't want me to hang out with them and didn't invite me. Maybe it was the new guy that didn't want me at his house. Whatever. This was something that happened several times in the months leading up to this event and I rage quit by blocking my two friends and this guy on all social media and texts. ever since this new guy came(who everyone fucking likes) he's been slowly replacing me and it bothered me. He's not a dick to me or anything either. Everyone seems to like him and he's just a neutral dude who you can't really have any particular opinion of. I blocked them all bc I was tired of being disrespected and that guy and blocked their phone numbers. It's been about 6 months since we've last been in contact.
Honestly just writing about this bothered me.
They either
A. dont wanna talk to you more.
B. its gonna be fucking awkward.
If i were you anon i would move forward no need to waste time on something you've given up on before.
Recently after about six months one of my friends brothers who was the only guy I didn't block shot me text and said "hey how've you been I haven't heard from you in a while"
This was a week ago and I haven't replied. It seems likely one of them told him to send me a text. I was wondering if I should go back and talk to them and try again?
I just feel really shitty being "that guy" and wish I was a little more respected and liked in the group. I'm also not into their stupid drug shit. On the other hand I literally have ZERO guy friends outside of these guys except a fwb girl I hang out with. I have a lot in common with them due to very similar background/upbringing/culture in an area where that similarity is hard to find. It sucks not having friends as I never go out to social outings or do anything other than hang out with this girl and I'm starting to feel very lonely and pathetic.
/adv/ you guys have not steered me wrong before. So here's my current dilemma:
> I'm 29 male
> Single
> Living at my father's house outside Atlanta
> I've had some shitty career luck the last 2 years, but last month I finally stumbled onto a job that I think will make me $50k this year or better.
I moved in with my dad last year when my job got really shitty and the girl I was living with got addicted to pills. It was a whole crazy debacle.. So right now I pay my dad $500 every month as rent, and it's pretty cool overall. But my only issue is: dating and social life, it's pretty lame living with a parent (especially at my age). It's hella awkard when I have company or a date.
I really think I have to move soon if Im gonna live a normal life. Here are my options:
A) keep living with my dad. I can trust him, rent is cheap and haters be damned.
B) Move in with a friend of mine from college. He wants to get a house together. Everything is cool, but my monthly housing costs would go up to like $800 a month and thats a lot.
C) Go on Craigslist and find someone renting out a room. It could be a normal person or a psychopath. And really it would be the same as now, except not the dad shame. the rate would be like $650 a month.
I'm really torn guys. Mainly I think the problem is I feel ashamed bringing girls back to my "dads" house. Thoughts? Criticism?
>>16616253
>A) keep living with my dad. I can trust him, rent is cheap and haters be damned.
I'd choose that option. You seem to have a supportive and loving dad. The right people/girls won't care you live at home.
>>16616262
You really think so?
I just assumed that most women would run the fuck away when I tell them I live with my dad.
Jesus grow the fuck up and leave already.
The sustain is really embarrassing, for you and for your father.
How do I deal with having a small package?
Had women leaving me because she wasn't sexually fulfilled. Had people bugging me because that bitch spread shit around after we broke up. Sometimes when I'm about to sleep with random women they fake sex/orgasm or they just ditch me after they see what I've got (unless they are drunk as fuck).
Well, after I broke up with my ex and had a series of shitty experiences, I started losing confidence on myself. I'm feeling miserable nowadays and I really don't know what to do on that matter.
Can I get some sort of implant or something? Anyone tried that? Can I do anything else?
step up your oral game, faggot.
>>16616226
What size is your special delivery?
>Can I get some sort of implant or something? Anyone tried that? Can I do anything else?
Yeah, they exist, google.
Also, amazing protip, you can date small women.
Hey, /adv/ I need some advice on my education.
I am 18 years old and currently in the process of applying to colleges.
So far I am mainly considering Ivy Leagues, and other highly regarded colleges in the US.
While my test scores & GPA are up to scratch, I'm worried that the rest of my application might bring me down, as I have very little extra-curricular items that I could include in my application - no charity work, and very little work experience ( a few weeks in a law firm, and a few weeks in an accounting firm ).
On top of all that, I am not even certain about what I want to study yet.
For these reasons, I am considering taking a year off, to work on 'filling in the gaps' in my resume, and then applying next year.
Is this a good move? or should I simply bite the bullet, get my applications in this year, and then go to the best school I get an offer from, even if it's not my first choice.
Thanks.
I'm not familiar with the US system, but can't you apply, and then if you don't get in the college you want, reapply next year after doing whatever?
>>16616170
bumping just to add some additional info.
I'll be spending the time productively, i'm fine with time management, etc. and so won't be taking a year off just to slack off and not do anything.
I'm likely not going to be travelling at all, if I do take time out, and will be focusing more on gaining relevant work experience, in order to get a better grasp on what I might want to do as a major, and a career.
>>16616187
A lot of universities will offer the option of deferring your place for a year or two, but that is after actually receiving a place, as for applying multiple times, it's certainly something I could do, however, I think it'd be better to apply once, and make it a strong application, instead of potentially getting rejected the first time, and applying a year later, as I'm worried that it might hurt my chances of getting in.
There is no reason to take a year off just for the purpose of going to a better university for your undergraduate.
Where you get your undergrad isn't going to matter, and it's really best to save money by going to a place that's affordable.
So I found my old weed stash which is a tin box from a video game I bought years ago. I haven't touched this stash since April 2014 and I found some weed crystals clinging to the baggies I ripped open as well as some in the crevices of the box. I scooped as much as I can from the tip of my finger and poured it all in.
A little back story...I was addicted to weed when I was unemployed and underemployed. A lot of the money I had went towards it as well as my time. And boy did I spend a lot of time smoking weed--to the point of boredom and stagnance.
But tonight I'm tempted...is it safe to smoke weed that has been sitting around like that for over a year?
>>16616119
Don't go back to a shitty habit. You're being tested.
but I can really use a hit right now and quell my restlessness
>>16616146
A hit now, 2 tomorrow, before you know it you'll be doing it multiple times a day.
I was out with an Army buddy of mine and his fiance and some friends, and I realized how alone in terms of a relationship I am since I'm an active duty Marine.
My circumstances just kind of make it impossible to meet women face to face anymore, I really don't even know how to handle it. It's something I want so bad, but there's nothing I can really do about it but wait.
>>16616110
Get into it after your service.
>>16616136
I'm quite early into my first four years, and I plan on staying twenty years, so that's not really an option, unfortunately.
I mean, I don't know if there's anything I could do except wait.
>>16616110
my brother had the same issue. one day he was texting my mom and she handed her phone to a co workers daughter. they started texting.
only met 3 times before the wedding. as you can imagine its a little weird for them. h es never home.
parents had a similar experience. dad was in navy with my uncle. uncle showed him a photo of her, dad got really interested. dad didnt get to meet her when he visited my uncles home for holiday, because mother was also visiting a friend. my grandma forced her to be pen pals with him, they met about 5 times before marrying, hung out maybe 10 times before getting pregnant.
imo, just fuck some sluts, bate with some bros, and just wait out your service. no point trying to tie down now. you necver know when or where you'll meet the right girls.
Someone tell me please? I mean I try really hard, yet none of them seem to like me/look at me as friends. Do people really fall in love with people that call them ugly? Because I see that so much. Someone should explain this stuff to me ? or give me advice to change my ways.
It's more about confidence than good/bad. I'm a very nice guy, but I get attention from women when I'm confident regardless. Women like it if you give the impression that you're strong and don't need them.
>>16616070
I feel like some girls just really want to please assholes. They put up with being treated like shit because they have this glimmer of hope they'll impress their SOs someday. It's not simply because the guy is a dick.
Keep being a a good person and you'll find someone, don't worry.
>>16616070
Because they don't have the personality of a wet blanket.
Before I begin, I want to say: I'm not asking for career advice. I'm asking for purpose advice.
So, I've invested the last 10 years of my life into practicing music and whatnot. Yes, I'm another wannabe musician, but I'm not blind to reality. Within the last three or four years, I decided to make that my life. I accepted the likelihood of never finding an actual job in music, and possibly living in poverty. I'm still okay with living in poverty. Right now, there's nothing out there that even comes close to being as fulfilling as music is for me. Everything else I've tried, physics, psychology, etc. has all been a passing interest, or something I'm already lagging behind everyone else in.
I know it's still early in my life, I'm only 21, but I feel like all my studying is going to waste. I no longer qualify for the degree I'm going for, and I just don't hold a candle to any of my peers. I feel like my personal goals have become out of my reach. I don't know if this is what I'm meant to do. I'm scared to admit that music may not be where I'm meant to be, and that all my work has been for essentially nothing. I'm scared to venture out into other territory and discover I'm shit at those things as well.
I'm following my dream. I'm doing the one thing I had some semblance of competence in, and I'm slowly becoming a failure in it. Fucking now what?
Either stay determined and become better, work harder or give up and look for something else. In the end, do what makes you happy.
>I'm still okay with living in poverty.
Spoken like a true faggot that has never lived in actual poverty where you can't satisfy your basic human needs.
Music is a gamble. You do not make it your regular job, you keep it on the side and advertise yourself and hope for the best. You need to be your own manager, being a manager is somewhat of a real job. Being successful in music is not about being good, it's about being popular.
TL;DR: If you love music, get an actgual job and keep it on the side. If you want to get money from music, you need to treat it like a business.
Few points anon,
Your approach needs to change first, friend.
There is no "what you are meant to do". There is no single skill, career area or whatever, that you fit into. That's rhetorical garbage. I'm a registered nurse, I suck at science and math. I started my history degree and switched over after two years. The degree sucked, but I love my work, for so many reasons, and I'm told I'm good at it.
Undergraduate education is a joke, don't judge the jobs of a degree/field based on 1st and 2nd year courses of the field.
Also your career shouldn't be your hobby. Mixing pleasure and work ruins both. Isolate them from each other for better appreciation of both.
Try stuff that's opposite from what you think you want. I thought I wanted to teach history, I ended up being a trauma room nurse who enjoys being with patients and their families. If I listened to my high school guidance counsellor I'd be in the military.
Don't define yourself by what you do or how others perceive you. It's cheesy, but it's invaluable. Fuck your peers. Your life is yours, own it. If your happy and can live off of selling bathtubs, that's what matters. tldr: Learn to be content.
If you find you're bad at other things, move on. hardly anybody is great at something when they first try it, even for the first few years. If it stirs you, practice and chase it.
good luck
He can't cum from fucking me because he gets overstimulated well before ever reaching that point. Anyone dealt with this before? Getting kind of desperate for a solution here. Googling the issue from my side results in page after page about vaginismus and the girl being in pain and not being able to get it in at all and blah blah blah - none of which applies. Googling it from his gives a bunch of stuff about ED (has zero trouble getting off when my cunt *isn't* choking the life out of him) and/or says he can't cum due to death-gripping it (which he doesn't do) during masturbation...though he's now thinking maybe he should. I've been thinking (and unsuccessfully trying to find ways to) stretch me out a little so the fit is a bit more accommodating. You guys got any ideas?
This sounds like the kind of problem I'd like to have. Jokes aside, though, just jerk him off or blow him right after you come. Pretty much every guy will be fine with getting a bj+facial in place of squiring into a condom.
>>16616036
More foreplay and lube.
anal
no, seriously
how do i normal?
ever since i was a child i was an outcast. when all my classmates in my small school were sporty and normal and i was the nerd playing games alone inside.
i didnt start to take any sort of care of myself since after high school and i imagine i was probibly the worst person to physically be around back then.
but ive started working out and taking care of myself. had to get some partial dentures to fix my front teeth which has given me a lisp which is a thing.
but i still have bad breath constantly which i feel like is comming from my throat which sucks cause i have a fairly strong gag reflex which makes rinsing and shit at the back harder to do.
i ordered something that might help because normal shit doesnt seem to do anything. so ill see if that helps, but i have my doubts.
how do i overcome my fear of women when they can easily claim rape and im fucked for life? i get its not all that common but the threat is still real.
i dont even like talking about anything, mostly because i know my breaths death and i dont want to subject people to it. i dont particularly care for anything. the closest thing i have to a hobby is video games which i still feel i suck at even tho its the only thing ive ever done.
im almost scared to do anything cause someones going to laugh at me no matter what i do. i still dont know who i am or what i like. its times like this i wish i fit into some fucking stereotype just so i could fit in to something but instead i fringe on many social circles without ever really fitting in.
even with work im not great at any one thing but im reasonable at most parts of it but its not enough to give me any sense of security in the job.
i cant help but feel like my life is going to be run by just greed. i dont want to be but i dont want to just be used by everyone and always be the loser. no matter how much i do in anything its never enough for my to be satisfied with.
ive had alot of shit people in my life do shit things.
Get to diamond in LoL and it will teach you everything you need to know about life.
people who pretend to give a shit till they get something valuable out of me then toss me aside like trash.
i have some kind of obsession with being on the opposite side of everything. like a hipster but not quite as loud about it.
im lonley but i cant break out of this room without piling on all of life instantly.
being a late bloomer in most things in life like that im 23 and still dont have a license nor a car. which is another entire problem for dating if i got over the other fears entirly. not to mention ive only ever been on one date and it was back in high school and was in hindsight awkward as fuck. its hard to overcome so much negative and just keep doing something and expecting different things to happen. famously called insanity.
it just seems no matter how much i do ill always smell like shit, my breath will be aweful and ill be unprepared for everything ill run into.
>>16615891
fun as that sounds id rather not piss more people off with my shit skills in mobas
