Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 193. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 193. page
Hey /adv/ pretty quick question. I have a ex girlfriend who I broke up with pretty cordially. There was nothing really wrong, I was just busy with research and my own work and not able to spend much time with her so after she said she wanted a break I just decided to end it.
I am not upset at all about the relationship, she was really nice and I don't have much bad to say about her.
However, I am in college and she has suddenly started hanging out with all of my friend and is saying pretty mean stuff about me. She is now friends with people she hated before and that were only my friends.
What is the proper way to deal with a situation like this? In general I am very nice, but I feel like girls always make me out to be like a d-bag after we break up. It bothers me because my character is something I care about a lot, I always strive to live my life honorably, manly, and kindly. (as fedora as that sounds I keep my opinions strong and I am not afraid to help someone out)
What the fuck is that picture?
>>17324259
I dunno I just picked on that was saved on my desktop
let her have your friends. your friends know you and if what she says is completely off base they should be able to judge properly.
Okay so, what's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath and how can someone deal with a violent, feels-no-emotions expect sex related stuff friend without doing anything that might trigger them? (will explain backstory later if asked )
>>17324253
Sociopath is someone who doesn't consider other people's point of view because they're selfish and a psychopath is violent without feelings about what they hurt
>>17324253
Same thing.
Literally no clinical difference whatsoever.
Ultimately means the same kind of symptoms, anti-social (not to be confused with ASOCIAL) behaviour, incapable of feeling love or empathy, extreme risk taking due to dulled down sense of fear (makes them natural leaders).
Essentially, they see people more as tools than actual people, and the closest thing they have to morality is good = what works for me, and bad = what doesn't.
These people would literally believe you were being selfish, if you didn't let them beat you if they were having a bad day.
That's how their 'morality' works. You're the bad guy in that situation.
And almost all the time, people look up to them. Seriously, people fucking love sociopaths (until they find out the truth, and even then, they'll only believe it if they are the victim. Seriously, most people are fucking enablers. Chances are, you've turned a blind eye to one or ignored red flags in the past. Most people have).
1% of the population is a sociopath.
How do I know this?
Grew up with one, and did quiet a bit of research figure out what is wrong with him, how I could get others to believe me (Long con - play the victim, and one day people will question why you fear or cannot say 'no' when the sociopath asks you to do something unreasonable. Furthermore, the sociopath will turn on them one day, it'll make them hurt and vulnerable. Makes them easier to turn against him). Ideally, I'd have him committed in an insane asylum for life, however I cannot convince people that he's seriously fucked up.
Our parents are starting to realise. But only just.
>>17324349
Is me.
Didn't see this part:
>>17324253
>how can someone deal with a violent, feels-no-emotions expect sex related stuff friend without doing anything that might trigger them?
You don't. You GTFO.
Seriously, this person will only hurt you.
>b-b-but love and friendship being magic and shit and the world is all nice and flowers are cool I shouldn't ever have to do anything that's kinda bad....
Then you deserve what you get fucker.
When my sociopath brother makes my mother cry, I comfort her, but in private I laugh because she's always fucking defending his violent fucking ass. She deserves it and so do you.
Fucking enablers.
How do I become the most dominant, virile male on the planet?
by trying
Eat a bowl of nails for breakfast.
Without milk.
>>17324203
That's true but what is the best strategy? What sort of job should i work for one thing?
>>17324211
Wow hilarious, you're a real king of comedy
I met this girl 4 months ago and we were very affectionate. We would cuddle and hold hands, and it was obvious we liked eachother. She was NOT single, but clearly wanted out, so I didn't make a move.
My best friend then started to make a move, knowing I liked her a lot. He would purposely do things like tell her he invited me, but really didn't. Anyway, now those two are fucking and the result of this is that he has lost our group of friends in some way because his girlfriend is part of it and he cheated.
Well, this was the first girl I've had a real connection with in ages and now I can't stand to be around them. It eats away at me in the inside because I wanted her so fucking bad. However, he is depressed and lonely now because he can't really hang with our group anymore; all of the females hate him.
What am I supposed to do here? I feel like he knew how bad I needed this, and he just pillaged anyway.
>>17324184
1.) unfortunately the default state is for men to compete for women and throw each other under the bus for them. Women usually have more than one man vying for her attention, and often times the women encourage it by not setting better boundaries.
2.) this all sounds like bullshit for everyone involved. You were getting close to a girl who had a bf. That is a red flag, period. Period.
Your friend made a move even though he had a gf. It's a match made in hell. Don't feel sorry for him. He fucked up and deserves the shame.
He cheated on his gf and screwed you. Sounds like a shit friend OP. Let him suffer.
>>17324184
Sometimes you have to be a tough son of a bitch and teach people lessons in life. If you go rescue that "friend" right now then it will just happen again. I don't think it has sunk in yet for him about his recent actions. There is a reason why others are staying away. I don't say you should ditch him for life but at least let him simmer for a while.
If you want to rescue him though do get physical and beat the shit out of him then shake hands after?
WTF is this on my toe and how do I get rid of it?
ty.
.. Anyone?
A wart. Flush your fucking toilet.
Looks like corns or just calluses. You can treat both at home so google it.
You couldn't bother to fucking flush before taking a damn picture?
>at checkout with my bbq stuff for tonight
>in walks highschool dream girl from 15 years ago
>been dancing around with her on facebook for a year
>haven't been back home since HS
>I've clearly changed demeanor at this point
>cashier is foreign
>people behind me in line are foreign
>I can't even casually express what I'm feeling
> I don't go and talk to her
>she has a kid
>I leave
I'm not some slob though. 6', 190# lean, funny, kinda smart. This took the wind outta me though.
Can I fix this?
>>17324170
Also, I'm sure she saw me before I saw her. Nobody sniffs a pineapple.
>>17324170
>she has a kid
>I leave
Just leave it at that.
>>17324192
I was warned strongly I would get this kind of response from another board. That board referred me to this board. I get it. They also said woman aren't romantic. I get that. No I don't..
Here is one and any advise would help. My fiancé and I been together for a few years. I moved to another state to be with her. We seperated for 5 weeks a few months ago. I moved back home and was a shell of myself. We got back together and I moved back with her. All was going great I thought then 2 nights ago she got bitchy all I said was calm down next thing I know she threw me out with just my clothes. My car blew up a month ago so I had to have her friend bring me to a motel. Used what little money I had in me to pay for 3 nights. BTW the first night I got to hotel at 3am but still got charged a full night. Now come the am I have no money for another night to wait on my ride who can't come until Thur and no where to go. Any advise would help
well you're just going to have to either beg your fiancée to let you back in or beg for money on the street.
Wow
If you have some change left you might want to invest in a marksalot and a piece of cardboard.
I tied this skin tag off a few days ago and its turned black and stiff. Should I wait or just snip it?
Jesus fucking christ. I'm not a doctor, but my completely baseless and unfounded advice is get that fucking thing off of your body. It looks like it's evolving into it's own organism.
Go see a fucking doctor. It's necrotic flesh (or whatever it's called in English) and needs to be removed.
Pretty sure it's toxic, too
Just go to the doctor. Taking off the string will allow the toxins produced by the dead flesh to be sent right into your body. Which can make you very sick or probably worse.
You'll never be able to remove all the dead tissue by yourself before removing the string so you'll be introducing toxins into your body. So if you go to the doctor they'll be able to deal with the toxins before it does real damage.
>18
>band I like coming to town
>still not allowed to go out at night alone
>since I don't have any friends I would be going to this show alone at night
>never took action about this since 99.999999% of nights I just want to be alone with my computer.
Do you guys think I should just be assertive? I'm still dependent on mommy and daddy for just about everything...
It's Swans if you care, they're breaking up or something and who knows how long Gira has left on earth
>It's easier to beg forgiveness, than to ask permission.
In other words, time to grow some balls son
just go
You have two paths. Stay home or go. Consider which one you'll regret more when you think back to this moment later in life. Then you'll have your answer.
[spoiler]tldr: go[/spoiler]
How can I become a better conversationalist? I tend to be really egocentric and I worry that I'd alienate the person I'm talking to if I spoke my mind. I think really hard for open conversation topics but my mind is always blank from anxiety. On rare occasions when I have surplus energy and confidence, I feel okay with taking risks and somehow simply know what to say.
>>17324058
ask open-ended questions and then let the person talk for a couple minutes before jumping in with your experiences. before you open your mouth to share your take on the topic, ask yourself if it could be interpreted as trying to hog attention or one-up the other person.
>so what do you do for a living
>oh really, my uncle did that for a while, how do you like it
>what do you do for fun
>that sounds interesting but I don't know much about it, tell me more
>so how do you know (mutual acquaintance of yours)
stuff like that
How do I fix the damage of my childhood
>Parents divorced
>Both parents would give me tremendous attention in order to spite the other
>They were seriously sociopaths towards each other
>Despite this, neither gave me actual affection
>No hugs, no "proud of you son", no "good job" or anything like that
>Left with a bizarre complex where I can't tell when anybody cares about me because they love me or because they just want to use me like my parents did
I'm 23 and I'm pretty sure that this early childhood relationship with my parents is the cause of most of my relationship and interpersonal failures. I don't trust anybody. I constantly assume they're just using me for something, and when people aren't using me for something I assume their affection isn't real.
Read this
https://www.amazon.com/Road-Less-Traveled-Timeless-Traditional/dp/0743243153
eh I get used sometimes too. mostly by females especially at work.
I think you should stop trying to heal old scars and instead forgive yourself for the time you've spent in pain. You don't deserve to suffer for what your parents did to you. By not trusting your own judgement of people, you are being haunted by your past. My situation was very, very similar to yours, and my troubles seem to have been the same. The way I learned to trust people was to learn to let go of prejudice. You think everybody is out to either trick you or use you, when in reality you have no reason to believe so other than something two out of seven billion people did to you. You're now very well equipped with first-hand experience in telling bullshit apart from sincere affection. Your anger and regret is keeping you from utilizing it properly. Please, just believe me when I say that good people are out there.
Your childhood happened. There is nothing you can do to change the past. You can only steer your present towards your future. If you look back, you won't see what's in front of you.
>just turned 18
>18 is age of consent where I live
>I never slayed the underage bajiner and now I never will
good game no rematch desu baka senpai
Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.
I used to feel the same
Didnt sleep with anyone till 19.
didnt get gf till 21
But now ive got a milf fetish. So im over it
>>17324028
Kill yourself and start again.
How do you cope with the fear of being left out?
Its probably the most immature anxiety but I get so upset when I see everyone else having fun without me.
I want to be there.
I have very few friends and I fear losing the ones I have.
Pussy
>>17324022
Time to grow up and realize not everyone's life is going to be a fun one
>>17324022
Remember why they're your friends. Try to hang out together more often. Don't overburden them, though. Trust the bonds of friendship you've forged over the years.
I need advice bros.
At a party I met my exgf (5 years ago she was my gf). God, she change alot and I really like her. My friends told me that I did laugh and she seems very receptive (I was drunk).
A few days later I found her in instagram and we started to talk.
That happen one month ago and we don't talk anymore (I had a lot of exams, have zero social life in that month..)
So I had thought speak to her again but a two days ago one drunk friend kissed her in a party.
Now I don't know if I should speak with her again.
What /adv/ think?
>>17323950
Stop being a pussy.
You're an utter loser for being hung up on some tail from 5 years ago.
Women are just business. Pleasure business.
>>17323950
Just talk to her.
We don't really know what happened in the party... If she was also drunk then that kiss could have no meaning :p
loser
Hey advice!
I asked travel this question as well; but I thought I could get a second opinion.
I'm going on an epic road trip from Canada to the entirety of the United States.
We'll be seeing California, Arizona, Texas, the Deep South all the way to Florida, New York City, Salem then Graceland.
We're doing all of the obvious stuff, such as
Roswell/area 51
>aquariums
>sunset strip
>statue of liberty/museum of natural history
>ect..
If there's anything you think we SHOULD see, what's fun and goofy? What do you recommend?
Also, we LOVE finding animals and little critters of all kind. Where do you suggest seeing them in the wild?
Things like spiders, tide-pools, lizards, whales, all that kind of stuff (since Canada doesn't have much of interest).
Anything and everything helps!
>>17323940
Those areas you described are very far apart geographically. Are you planning to stay at least a couple of months?
>>17324014
It takes like 13+ hours to drive across Texas from East to West alone.
>>17324014
Yep! We know we'll be staying a while. No worries there
