Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 190. page
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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>I'm about to have sex for the first time. What do I do?
Humans have worked this out on their own for centuries. You'll be fine.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. You either know how to tell, or you don't. If you don't, you learn through experience. So ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Females:
How can I reject you without you getting butthurt? Are there any good ways to bail on a date early?
>>17324571
Honesty is always best. But don't expect to salvage a relationship as a friend.
>>17324571
Stick the date out unless you have really good reason to leave- like if the girl's constantly insulting you or something. It's really impolite to ditch someone like that, so save it for the cases that really matter- not when you don't mesh with them well or find them boring.
I've never been able to put my finger on it, but I have always felt different to my peers somehow. Even my closest friend doesn't understand me, but then again I don't understand him.
Some background:
In school I tended to be a bit of a loner, usually self-imposed. I wasn't lonely the whole time. Only when I thought about it at night, maybe. But yeah I felt distinct from my school friends; I always treated them with caution.. perhaps I was a bit paranoid. I felt at risk of being made fun of and was never quite sure of their attitude towards me. I was never bullied though.
At university I feel far more at home, but again I've isolated myself somewhat. I'm not confident to strike up an fb conversation with my friends though I 'know' these people like me (I'm living with them next year)..
I don't think I'm autistic. Can you help me figure myself out?
It's an obsession really, a hypochondria, but I can't let it go. Please diagnose me ;_;
If you can be arsed, have a skim through my blog to get the picture
http://disappaear.tumblr.com/
I wish I wasn't so hung up on this. pls help. I don't trust any of my ideas on the matter.
>>17324537
You're introverted, get easily tired of social interactions.
You are a normal person, and many people (you might not notice it) are like you.
You seem like an hypersensitive person, nothing wrong.
>>17324537
Please explain this:
>My mum is a robot and her movements are calculated to be normal by an algorithm that not only processes language but also codes of social acceptability; new habits get introduced and if they are discouraged by peers they are eliminated permanently.
Also, are you male or female? I can't tell from a brief skim, still looking through the blog. Interesting work, and interesting writing as well.
>>17324553
That's comforting. I've been through all the Myers-Briggs shit (INTP) but that didn't bring much solace.
>hypersensitive
Potentially. I have considered that I have LLI which I suppose is the same thing. I'm wary of self-diagnosing though.
>>17324564
Yeah that sounds a little paranoid schizophrenic, doesn't it?
It's just a thought I that is pretty plausible. It also stems from the fact that my mum often seems to be 'faking it' in social interactions.
I'm female. Thanks, it means a lot cos no-one reads my blog haha.
should i go to a shooting range so i can say i do something with my time other than sitting at home?
>tfw spend all my time in doors, 4chan mostly
>no friends at all
>go to work, then come home and browse the web
what are other things i can do that meets the "just go outside" meme advice?
how do i even show people (like for a dating profile) that i do go outside, when i don't have anyone that can take photos of me outside?
go weightlift
>>17324585
i do, have a home gym
>>17324510
>should i go to a shooting range so i can say i do something with my time other than sitting at home?
It's a thought. Start with some courses in safety as well as care and maintenance; any gun range will offer these, or know where you can take them.
Is it me or all the girls are the same?
For fuck sake why I have the pay for the movies, the dinner and everything in a fucking date. I broke with my curret girlfriend because she doesn't put any penny in the things we do. And then she called me drunk tell me I was the best guy ever meet and we should back and bla bla. The 3 hours later she call me for insulting me. Now in the current situation, find a new girl. Pay for everything, tell to new girl to give me some money:
> ughh You are so cheap
Brhees I only told her to pay what she consumes and I'm gonna pay what I consume.
Are all the girls like this ?
>>17324492
Yes girls expect you to pay for their needs.
It's a primal thing, they still want an alpha male that has her back at any time.
That means money!
>Is it me or all the girls are the same?
No, you've only, as far as we can see, dated two girls who weren't interested in going dutch.
Worst thing you can do to yourself is falling into that "____ are all the same" rut, because bad behavior habits can form from that easily.
>>17324522
Most girls won't go dutch tho, they expect the man to pay.
What's the best way to get s fwb? Any site in particular or techniques?
>>17324422
Are you a girl? Ask pretty much any man you like. Otherwise use essentially any site that facilitates meetups.
Are you a guy? Go to parties and hope someone takes a liking to you.
>>17324422
FWB never last, and more often than not at least one person ends up getting hurt. But, the best way I've found is to just have multiple short relationships through Tinder. You date a girl a few times and have sex until it starts to get too exclusive, then you either dump her or tell her you want to continue seeing other women.
Tinder
What does it mean when a girl basically makes it her whole 'thing' that she doesn't like you. I'm talking every time I see her she's sticking out her tongue, making faces, giggling, "ew it's Anon", making an effort to hug everyone in the room then getting to me and saying "ew" then giggling a lot and saying "just playing boo" or something along those lines.
Whenever I'm in the checkout line she makes sure I come through her line so it's not like she hates me, but what the hell? I'm not great with social games.
We're both post college, coworkers, around 25.
>>17324366
>making an effort to hug everyone in the room then getting to me and saying "ew"
Well that's just harsh.
She's playing it off as banter, but she's alienating you.
Soon others will join in.
Gratz, you'll soon be the group scapegoat, first blamed, last saved.
GFTO.
Stop giving her attention.
Find something to focus on that'll keep you away from her.
Avoid her checkout line.
>>17324366
Stop giving her attention, don't let it bother you, ignore her.
that's how you deal with that shit. There is no better comeback.
She's obviously paying attention to you by making an effort to make you feel bad about yourself, just ignore her and do your own thing.
she probably likes you. she's showing it the way a six-year-old would, but she probably likes you. ask her out. if she says yes, then great. if she says no, tell her sorry for the misunderstanding, the way she was teasing you made you think she was into you. or just tell her she has cooties.
I've heard this a lot in my life. I'm smart but lazy. I don't really know what that's supposed to mean. My gpa in high school was a 3.2 and my act score was a 30 so I don't think I was smart or anything. I just remember in high school I wouldn't do homework and then just study the day before an exam and then ace it.
I do have depression in the sense that I just have very low motivation to do anything unless I have to do it. It's a pretty cancerous feeling and I want to kick it. I can tell that I plateau a lot in terms of my abilities in things such as music/games/school.
Any thoughts?
Means you have good potential, yet squander your skills on doing nothing.
You have everything but the motivation to actually make use of it.
>>17324363
You have to apply what you learn. You Have to do physical things to physically change the world. Even typing and talking is physically doing something. You can't just be all input, you have to have output. Show don't tell.
>>17324363
Smart but lazy is a Boomer meme. It's the "A for effort" for gifted shits.
I've had acne for years. roast me.
try acutane
already have :/
Acne feels thread?
>Get on accutane
>Fucks me up
>Permanently damages night vision, I don't finish the full prescription
>Acne which was once gone completely returns
Fuck me, guys. I have to choose between an inability to see at all in the dark or dim light or a skin condition which will slowly scar me over time.
What other long-term options are there?
Benzoyl Peroxide works... some. Still have acne.
Salicylic acid makes me break out even worse.
Doxy clears it up no problem, but I can't take antibiotics long-term.
Adapaline makes it worse.
I want something that won't permanently damage me.
Anyone else feel like they are running out of time very fast?
I am 26 and I have never had a girlfriend, never really traveled anywhere, never went to a concert or event. No road trips(can't drive). I do have a job but its mediocre.
I am super scared that I am missing out on life but honestly, not too many things interest me for some reason. I have mostly no desire to long distance travel. I feel like most of the rest of the world is third world shit hold besides canada and the USA.
I also feel like I won't ever to experience a long term relationship. I mean.. Most people have at least one long term relationship before marriage. Speaking of marriage. I am terrified of it.
Marriage to me is like.. a full retard decision. I don't know how people can make such a promise to stay with one another ALL OF THEIR LIFE. Who knows what the fuck could happen.
I am deeply disturbed by marriage. I am deeply disturbed that I have not experienced having a girlfriend.
What the FUCK is this life man. My life feels like it has been just a slew of suffering and Ecstasy from playing video games.
Is this living?
>>17324329
Do shit first for at least one time before calling it not interesting enough for you. That's just being narrow minded.
>>17324341
I understand what you are saying but let me explain how my mind sees it.
I have never hit my hand with a hammer but I know I would not like to do it. You see what I mean?
I feel that you don't need to experience certain things to know if you will not like it or not.
>>17324348
You proved yourself you are even more narrow minded. Jesus Christ dude.
>I feel that you don't need to experience certain things to know if you will not like it or not.
key word you used here is "feel"
I want to wear it to class (college), because it looks comfortable and some chicks I saw in it the other day looked cute as fuck. Obviously I am a male so I wear the male version. I live in NY but we still got alot of dumb asses here. Think they could mistake me for an arab? (im central asian).
>>17324299
You can wear whatever you want I guess but I have no idea why you'd want to look foreign.
>>17324310
I want to look hot and draw female attention. I'm getting old and my handsomeness is fading >_>...
>>17324407
Go for it, as long as you know you look like a total tool doing so. Will also make you a total poser, as they'll expect you to know/participate in whatever culture that is from.
Anyone else here get anxious and depressed about time?
I get so frustrated and depressed at how it takes me so long to do certain things. Or it baffles me that time goes by so fast.
I feel like I'm either too slow or rushing to get something done or to go someplace. Like I feel like I left early and still arive late.
When it comes to being someplace at a certain time gives me anxiety too because I'm constantly planning how long it would take me to do something and when to leave at that certain time.
Even when it comes to certain events and appointments, I don't make time for them because it feels like I have no time. Even taking time out to make a phone call, theres no time to do it.
When I finally have free time to do what I want, I use that time to relax because I'm just so damn tired. And then I feel guilty for not utilizing that time for something else I've put off that I had no time for before.
I feel like I'm stuck in an endless cycle. Family and friends have said I should maybe go see a therapist but there's no time for that either.
What do I do ? Anyone else here deal with this issue?
Bump again
>>17324276
Yeah all the time. No pun intended.
I find that setting aside certain times to do things that I view as important such as working out, reading, and writing, makes me feel a lot less guilty about spending my free time relaxing.
But generally, since I suffer from this too and haven't come very far in the way of overcoming it, I don't think I can be of much help.
See a therapist.
Stop looking at your watch so much.
Welcome;
I give a lot of advice, whether it be on this website, irl, or even family matters. I am always the person people go to if they are in a bad spot. I guess you can say i've gotten good at it, and so I come to you on this monday evening with one question: What's on your mind?
Ask and thou shall receive. I would say I am well versed in all topic of discussion, (depression, money, suicide, motivation). Nothing is off limits.
Feel free to ask away, P.S try to be as accurate and through as you can, for the advice is more accurate with the more information I have.
I'm depressed to the point where I can't get anything done. I've quit drinking some time ago, but sobriety really sucks, and I'm having a particularly bad day, full of regret and memories I miss. The pic is quite related.
How do I deal with smug, condescending OPs?
>>17324222
I'm obsessed with the notion of becoming the most virile and masculine male possible. This is because I've realised it's the only thing that actually matters in life. You are put on this earth to spread your seed as much as possible.
But I'm not doing anything. I keep thinking of joining the military to toughen up but I haven't followed through on that yet.
What should I do? Follow through on the military? And please don't give me some soppy bullshit answer, I've made my decision that I want to be super masculine, now I just have to do it.
Airborne training coming up.What do I do? How do I overcome a fear of heights?
>>17324205
By jumping often.
You may find that your fear of heights isn't so bad from an aircraft. That might sound weird, but that's how it was for me.
Now, admittedly, I've never jumped, but I was a Loadmaster on C-130's and spent alot of time standing in open troop doors and on the ramp after an Air Drop. Have a serious fear of heights when I'm up on something high. Tall buildings, balconies several stories up, walking across the Golden Gate Bridge... scare the fuck out of me...
But looking out the troop door on the 130 at 1,500' AGL didn't bother me a bit.
Where has your fear of heights manifested? I have problems with "Grounded Heights". You may be the same.
To quote a buddy of mine, "The second jump the scariest."
Just drown yourself in technique and training and go for it! You won't feel it til it's happening...
Alright so I need the honest truth, don't spare my feelings or anything. Am I ugly? And how can I look better? I'm 18 but I get told I look a lot younger, how old do I look? Sorry for this shit, I'm new here
>>17324122
The ugliest thing about you is your hair. Either don't dye it or learn to keep dying it so roots don't show. Other than that you are fine.
your attractive. don't do anything stupid like getting tattoos and you should be able to find yourself a good husband.
Have some confidence, you look fine do your own thing. don't settle for people who don't like you for who you want to be, etc etc (make sure you touch up roots frequently with super-dyed hair like that tho)
It's been 10 months and I still can't get over a girl. I'm still feeling sadness and anger. It's occasional. I don't think I have depression or anything.
How do I get rid of this? Does it ever go away?
It does. You find someone better.
Can take a day or a decade.
>>17324081
Delete everything about her that reminds you of her. You gotta wipe your brain. No pictures, names, stuff from her. Wipe it all so that it's harder for the memory.
>>17324096
I've gotten rid of pictures, don't stalk social media, etc. I just feel like this is taking too much damn time.
![symbol-male-and-female-md[2].png](https://i.imgur.com/yRvodSZ.png "symbol-male-and-female-md[2]")
![p5240129[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/UCa922i.jpg "p5240129[1]")
