Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 182. page
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how do you actually interact in public with people you don't know if you want to socialize.
how do you approach a person.
I'm not autistic but i have severe social anxiety and this is just beyond my imagination. i don't want to be alone but I don't "get" how to just walk up to someone and talk.
are there any videos where people just do this or something?
I feel like almost everyone always has some kind of (very)short term goal in their had already and is busy with something else. I can't relate to that.
Very often...
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>>17326506
My friends forced me to talk to a girl in public because I have the same problem as you and it went kinda well, didn't get a number of anything but it was surprisingly a nice conversation. I did have the luxury of making it slightly less awkward by joking about my friends kinda making me do this and the fact that she was just texting on her phone waiting for a class before I approached.
What helped me prolong the conversation was asking and talking about things I know about, finding common ground. Maybe...
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>>17326506
Working at a retail job actually helped ease my shyness by forcing me to talk to other people (I was a cashier). That's one idea.
>>17326629
why didn't you get her number? were you just afraid to ask?
>>17326634
I worked as waiter at a restaurant when I was at high school. I grew into that particular role and got more confident on talking to people on this professional level. but desu it didn't really help me outside my job environment.
nowadays I'm working a kind of office job where I don't have contact to too many different people except my colleauges and professional relations
what's the minimum height you think a man should be ?
>>17326504
the legal definition of a man includes being 6'1" or above.
everything below that height is referred to as a manlet if we're getting technical. the term "boy" can also apply.
sub 7' should be castrated, little manlets always think they could get a GF
if you are not at least 10'1" you should kill yourself, sucks for you
how do i know if someone blocked me on facebook? They no longer show on my friends list but when i go to a mutual friends friends list they show up on there without a profile pic and i cant click their link
>>17326499
Go through settings, and "blocking"
Find the person you're looking for
Try to click on their name
If nothing happens then he might have blocked you, so take another Facebook account and repeat your search and see
>>17326515
lookem them up through "blocking" but they dont even show up. tell tale sign im blocked by them?
Just look them up on another profile.
K so I've been talking with this girl and she's wonderful. Only problem is she's 7 years younger than me. She knows I'm older and told me to tell everyone (her family, etc) I'm 20. I know they'll buy it no problem because everyone thinks I'm 21ish, so 20 wouldn't be that hard to swallow. If we keep our mouths shut, no one will ever know. What could go wrong?
>>17326491
>starting a relationship based on a bed of lies and deception
>>17326491
how old are you and she actually?
and as for what can go wrong, I guess people could find out your real age and wonder why you bothered lying. beyond that, I can't really say without knowing what your actual ages are.
>>17326491
I wouldn't lie. What happens if you guys end up falling in love and getting married and her family finds out you lied about your age? They'll start to wonder what else you lied about. Maybe you're actually hiding your true identity and you're a secret murderer.
Not worth the drama.
SO I was thinking: does the majority of the guys out there prefer bubbly and happy go lucky type of girls or rather melancholic and mysterious?
Different guys like different things. Either way, be friendly and polite, but be yourself.
Be yourself anon.
Also
>preferences
>>17326447
i don't think this is a matter at all. just try to look as good as you can
Which sounds better?
Mike O'Sullivan, or just Mike Sullivan?
>>17326437
Whichever is in the coffin.
>>17326454
I don't understand..
>>17326437
The first one.
![b4003ec4-cbc7-11e5-9c95-074a8ff7bdd1_1280x720[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/b9zJvi1.jpg "b4003ec4-cbc7-11e5-9c95-074a8ff7bdd1_1280x720[1].jpg")
I'm going to China for 12 days within the northeastern area, specifically Dalian. I'm going there to see a friend and tour around the area a bit, but a couple days ago, my friend hit me with a curveball saying I should have some itinerary in mind.
I literally have no idea what to see there. Does anyone know some neat places? If it helps, I'd like to stay away from historical attractions.
bamp
>>17326434
only a shimada can control da dragons
>>17326434
ask int and the travel board lol
I'm 20, and I hate going outside. And I can't stand summer season.
A while back I came to accept the fact that I just enjoy being inside and do what I love.
>Play some vidya, binge watch Netflix, and go to the gym without any worry of social pressure.
Although I've always wanted pursue a romantic relationship, I never found anybody who liked to stay home and just not do shit. Or preferred to play some video games instead of going outside and "do" something.
>TL;DR
Where does one find homebody chicks?
Bumping for gold
>>17326387
You won't find them. They're at home.
To be actually helpful, probably online. I'm a homebody and met my boyfriend online.
We live together so we don't have to go out and do stuff to spend time together.
Before that, I would go over to his house and we would binge anime and video games
There is no QTDDTOT here so...
Lately i'm having this desire to learn to play the harmonica for some reason. I did try it once but i gave up; one of the reasons for giving up was how bad my harmonica was.
If i try it again i'll buy a decent one. The problem is that i never finish anything in life; i'm probably just going to abandon it.
I really want to but i know that, realisticaly, this is just a waste.
Should i follow my desire or nah?
>>17326382
you didn't actually give up because your harmonica was bad, you gave up because you lack discipline. don't waste your money now. you can still pick up a new harmonica after you developed a habit of playing it
>>17326476
I know that. It being bad was just a minor factor.
The one i had disappeared, i searched the whole house for it and nothing, so i have to buy a new one if i go back to it but now i won't buy one so bad; that's the point i tried to come across, and failed.
I like the hoener's. Got an e minor, it sounds beautiful. For starters, get a more basic one and start doing some resesrch. There are tons of guides online, and all you need is patience.
How do I make myself do things? I waste my time shitposting and doing other useless crap on the internet, or playing games all day every day. Sometimes I go outside if I run out of food or other supplies.
I'd like to go walking/jogging regularly, draw, read books, watch the movies I've always wanted to see, learn a language or a few, play guitar, learn something useful, get friends, etc. But just thinking about starting something and committing to it even for a few minutes gives me this weird uncomfortable feeling and urge to avoid the thing altogether. It feels like my brain puts up an actual block between me and the motivation to do something. I guess I have a massive case of procrastination. I've read a million articles and whatnot about procrastination and tried all the tricks, but they never help me on the long term.
What do?
>>17326371
Too much of these "how to do stuff and not be a worthless loser thread", I'm sorry friend you are a worthless loser BUT if you want shit done you gotta do that yourself, a lot of people found it hard to get motivated, including myself, truth is you gotta motivate yourself, tell yourself "hey bud you're not a piece of trash after all, ok maybe you are but that can be changed" end quote, end comment, end these shit threads, good day and god bless bb
A to-do list works for me.
Put simple stuff on it as well as the bigger stuff. Putting "Floss your teeth" at least gets you up and moving and gives you a tiny sense of accomplishement. Once you're in motion it's easier to move on to workouts and bigger goals.
>>17326371
You just gotta do it bro. You'll never feel like doing it at all. You have to discipline yourself and tell yourself that you are not a worthless piece of shit. Don't wait until tomorrow, start now. Don't make up shitty excuses because that's gonna get you nowhere. So what are you waiting for? Build up a new hobby
- General
Met this girl at school and she is an exchange student. We were not too close when she was here but we got along and had fun. Before she left we exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes. Over the next 8 months we got a lot closer. She informed me of her issues with your intimacy and said that since her parents died (6 months apart) 4 years ago she's been afraid of getting close to someone. Last month I went to Berlin for a week and we didn't speak, when I texted her she admitted that she missed me and she was developing feelings for me. All downhill from there. She...
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Am I misreading things or are you in a relationship-repair mode before actually building the relationship to begin with?
>>17326369
Well we never got a chance to be actual boyfriend and girlfriend, she was there only for a semester and I didn't want to start anything temporary. She has a hard time opening up but in these past couple months she has. She's just confused about everything I suppose. Or so she says.
>>17326393
I think you're both confused and that you're trying to fix something that just isn't there.
How do you know what college/university major is right for you? What's honestly more important, studying what you like or studying something that has more job opportunities? How do you know if a major is "your thing"?
Is it way more common to end up studying and working in an area you don't like?
And if you plan to change to a different major after spending years in one, should you in the meantime look for a job in the area of your current major (the one before you change)?
>>17326331
>how do you know what college / university major is right for you?
there is no way to know for sure. many many many many many adults go to school, get a degree, than hate their job field. a big problem with college is that it doesn't give you any realistic job experience. at best you get internships cuz its required but you end up only getting coffees and little things so dont actually get to experience the job itself.
the best you can do is study a subject that...
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>>17326360
That being said it would suck even more to drop 80 grand without taking the opportunity to study something that interests you.
University isn't all about the job.
Find a major, or second major, or minor, that you love, and that compliments your more practical "core" major. I studied Sociology and even some philosophy (comm/semantic theory, the arts), to compliment my Business Marketing and Statistics focus. Now I work at an advertising agency.
>>17326331
I switched three times before the end of my sophomore year.
I ultimately just went with the subject that was easiest for me. I went from bio to neuro and realized I hated labs. So from then I looked st my best subjects and realized theyvwere all the physical science class (physics, chem, etc.) So I just said screw it and changed to math.
I honestly never looked back so I guess it was the right choice.
Give yourself some time to grow and find out what clicks with you and what doesn't.
Is it ok if I stop fapping for like, a week and then fap twice in a day?
>>17326319
yes
Your penis might explode man
>>17326465
Dude I fap three maybe four times a day. Penis is still there.
Had sex for the first time last night. No matter what I did, I wasn't able to finish. I usually jerk off at least once a day, and I watch a lot of porn. Does that affect this sort of thing? Is it normal to not cum?
>>17326304
you where probably nervous. first time i had sex, i never came. sex only started to feel good about the 4th time. plus, people like different things, you might not of found what you like yet.
when i used to watch porn, i used to think the girl on top was hot as fuck, although when having actual sex i dont really like the girl on top. i like being on top.
>>17326304
normal in the sense that sometimes it happens but not normal in the sense that its a good sign.
it may be the porn. it may be the daily jerking. it may be that you were just nervous. it may be that you used a condom.
I cannot tell you how many men have sex with a condom, cant cum (or worse, lose their erection) and then think they are broken men simply because the condom ruined the sex. i cant maintain an erection at all.... with a condom. take it off and im good to go.
nature did not intend...
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>>17326329
i hate wearing condoms too. what are the alternatives apart from pull out?
Even the hedonism won't take my mind off my ex anymore.
Why did she betray me?
Why does she get to be happy now?
It isn't fair, and I'm not sure if I can keep pretending it isn't bothering me.
Mark my words, only time will help. Keep going, and stop looking at her online stuff.
>>17326274
I know, but what am I meant to do right now when I hate waking up.
Sex doesn't help
Sleep doesn't help
Reading doesn't help
Only playing guitar helps sometimes.
Life isn't fair and things don't have to have reasons to happen. Hedonism is a poor distraction compared to improving yourself. Stop indulging your pathetic impulses and mold your situation to your liking. Life takes work and most of the effort you put in you will not get back.
