Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1843. page
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What is the proper way for me to message a girl on online dating?
I'm aware that "ayy bb" or "want sum fuk" are improper (not that I'd say such a thing), so that's not where the confusion sets in.
I'm a 20 year-old depressed virgin whose life isn't very interesting at the moment. I feel like the girls who post "hehe, I have no life and watch netflix all day with my cats" are exaggerating and not actually as sad and pathetic as I am.
I'm apathetic about media, so I can't really spark a conversation off of that. Playing video games and watching tv honestly feels like a huge waste of time to me these days.
I know some people will say "you gotta work on yourself first", but I don't want to wait a few years just to get a date. I'm severely lonely, I don't know how much longer I can take it. I crave intimacy and love, yet I haven't even held a girl's hand before. When I think about things like this, I honestly feel all chocked up inside and worthless as a human being. And the last thing I want is to come off as desperate and needy, I somehow have a some semblance of self-respect left in me.
Ayy girl want some fuck is a LOT better than what most bumbling virgins open with
>>16643822
I've gotten most dates with "hi how's it going" Yeah it's boring but I'm not one to copy and paste cheesy lines. Just let them know I want to take them out and get to know them and they seem to appreciate that. I'm well adjusted and good looking tho, so that's probably a big part of it.
>I want to not be so lonely
>Okay anon, so how do you relate to people?
>I don't. I share no interests with anyone.
Well Jesus fucking Christ anon, maybe you should delve into something that will actually interest or impress or amaze a girl before you expect them to lay down their affection on you. For what reason should you have self-respect? You earn that by doing something with your life. I hate to be that guy, but being a bump on a log isn't going to get you the things you seek.
Pic related, /b/ archived it. I really need some advice guys, how can I stay calm?
>>16643813
Buy a tank for $70,000. Scare those fuckers away, even with a non-functioning cannon.
>>16643845
holy shit. tanks are only 70k? how much are fighter jets?
@op probably safest to start carrying. the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
>>16643813
Lukkeeee, use the spadddeee.
Anyone here who has attempted real suicide in the past and has failed at it?
Not just 'half trying' but literally having the purpose and attempting to do it.
Is the use of a hunting rifle too risky cause of the possibility of failing to get the bullets into your brain?
That picture pretty much answers your question. Keep your form like the one on the right, don't flinch and you are fucking free.
>>16643712
Yeah, I tried hanging myself but failed because my weight broke the rope. I was basically brain dead when they found me. Some one else is currently doing my typing. I should have shot myself. I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself I should have shot myself i should have fucking shot myself
>>16643723
I'm still pretty scared of missing or not killing myself and ending paraplegic forever.
I'm not sure why I'm so pissed about this. I posted a picture of me being 31 weeks pregnant (picture) and a girl named Rachel claimed to have given me my babies name that I chose when I found out I was having a girl. We are naming her Eleanor and we found out when I was 18 weeks. Now this girl is claiming she was pregnant and told me that if she was having a girl she's name her Eleanor. Plausible, if she wasn't only 12 weeks along currently. I'm not pissed that poached the name. There are plenty of people who will use that name. I am pissed that she posted this on my picture of my pregnancy trying to make me look like an idiot. I'm really not even sure why I'm so pissed about it. It's really fucking petty. I know that it's petty. So why is this bothering me so much!!
>>16643644
is it out of character for you to get upset at this sort of thing?
then im going to go out on a limb and guess pregnancy hormones.
guess it just depends on how well you know the girl or whatever
Well it's natural to have heightened and reactive emotions during pregnancy due to hormonal influences. Also she's being a dumb bitch.
But on an unrelated note:
"When you find yourself hating someone (who did not directly hurt you) with blinding rage, know for certain that it is not the person you hate at all, but rather something about them that threatens your identity. Find that thing. This single piece of advice can turn your life around, I guarantee it."
Or you can probably just ignore that dumb bitch and get on with your life you better than that OP no sweat
good luck with the pregnancy you rockin' it
Because the hormones during pregnancy make you crazier. When I was pregnant, I sobbed because I read a story about a man who gave up his career to rescue mistreated donkeys. I also completely lost my shit over people telling me that I didn't look pregnant (I had already gained 15 lbs and had a belly). Both of these things are out of character for me.
Deep breath, eat a food you currently enjoy, and take it easy. You'll chill out again in a few months (you will likely continue to be crazy for a while after childbirth).
Good luck with the baby.
There's a really cute readhead that works at the grocery store down the street from my house. Being so close I stop by all the time and she's rung me up a couple times. I don't know how to show interest without making things awkward for her, and I'd hate to be rejected and have to come back to the store and see her again. Is there any way to go about this or should I just let it go?
>>16643610
1. "When is your next lunch break, lets eat something together?"
2. "Got plans for the weekend? Im having a party at mine, you should come!" (You have to throw a party, effort involved)
3. " hey i noticed there was ~ insert town event you live in ~ do you wanna check it out?
If she has already called you a few times then she obviously likes you, reciprocate it back.
I meant rung me up at the register, whoops. She's very friendly and always smiles at me but it could just be customer service.
>>16643824
There is legit only one way to find out, ask her to have lunch with you on her break. She says no, well then you know she was just being nice. On the flipside if you pull it off, well then your in with a chance. If you dont ask her, you will regret it later.
I once asked a girl if she had a boyfriend when i was at a skin clinic getting a spot lazered off my face, turns out she did and it was kinda embarrasing at the time, but i dont regret it because now i have the closure to know that it wasnt going to happen compared to maybe it could of.
So I just got a call from my land Lord and she said she had a complaint
about a smell of marijuana coming from my place. Can she legally do anything to make me leave if she's only heard rumors? I know I dun fucked up.
>>16643482
Yeah, she'll wait a couple weeks then call the police,
Drug addicts are predictable, you won't smoke for a week out of fear then say 'in the clear haha 420 blaze it yolo edm music 420 no scope' and light up
>>16643485
I wouldn't call smoking every now and then being a "drug addict," but I see your point. Guess I'll have to no-scope elsewhere.
>she had a complaint about a smell of marijuana coming from your place
>can she do anything to make you leave if she's only heard rumors
>landlord comes by one day
>marijuana smell in the air because you are fucking retarded
>no longer a rumor
>WHOOP WHOOP ITS DA SOUND O' DA POLICE
>WHOOP WHOOP ITS DA SOUND O' DA BEAST
Pick a new place to smoke, dumbass. My friend got evicted from his place for the exact same reason. I told him MULTIPLE times that I could smell the smoke in the hallway days after he lit up, but he thought I was just fucking around and thought they couldn't do anything about it.
Enough complaints piled up and someone called the cops on a day where the smell was exceptionally strong (a day he was actually smoking, surprise surprise). He got busted, and was shortly after evicted due to violating the rules which stated that it was a no smoking apartment.
earlier this morning i ate some pizza and im pretty damn sure i got food poisoning from it. however, it's gotten to the point where i still feel sick after throwing up about 4 times and i cannot keep any food down. do i need to go to a hospital?
>>16643365
forgot to mention, the pic is unrelated lol
>>16643365
Do you have any other symptoms? Fever? Cold sweats? Lethargy? Are you just vomiting or are you going to the toilet a lot as well?
Just try to keep food consumption to minimum for now, drink lots of water and if you have to eat..avoid dairy and eat 'dry foods' like toast or crackers.
>>16643403
id say lethargy is a symptom too. im only vomiting at this point, and the water feels good to drink but my stomach doesn't seem to like it that much lol.
24 virgin here, never had a serious relationship, I fear I'm just too far gone to never get a gf. I've gotten some really cute girls from tinder to go out with me, I've been approached by girls at bars and at work, but I always get so nervous I just act weird and creepy and blow it every time. Don't know what to do. I'm always stepping out of my comfort zone hoping the exposure will change me but it never does, I always wind up feeling embarrassed and hopeless. I don't know what to do. Accept being a forever alone anon?
>>16643121
Just stop caring about "feeling embarrassed". Nobody cares, and they'll care even less if you don't make a big deal of it.
Been with my girlfriend for a little longer than 3 years now. I'm still super nervous around girls, but i just don't let it bother me anymore. I noticed now that i don't let it get to me, they seem to show a lot more interest.
>>16643121
Just treat them like dudes at first. Turns out girls are humans too and act like humans also. Most of my hookups that I've had are because I talked with them like I do my guy friends. Joked around, talked, hung out, etc. I really wish we could lose all this bullshit about putting girls on pedestals. They're great, don't get me wrong, but they're just stupid humans like you or me, dude.
>>16643213
>Just treat them like dudes at first
never do this
you will have sex never
I slapped some feminist after she pushed me into my car.
Just be be clear, legally i am in the right?
Nope.
Let me guess: She started it, because you'd never do anything bad to another person unless you were provoked.
>>16643080
Let me guess, if a woman strikes you, you are supposed to just sit back and take it?
>>16643064
Legally speaking, if it went down as you said, you should be alright. Or at least as fucked as she should be. But that's assuming 1. she *touched* you first and 2. you have credible eyewitnesses who can corroborate this and/or
a video of the event taking place showing her laying her hands on you first. But, then you aren't really in the right to slap her - you are legally within your right to deck the shit out of her because you feared for your safety and well being after what is legally defined as assault, but slapping isn't exactly enough to end a threat, so it would probably not be considered self defense in court and would probably just get both of you assault charges.
Morally and practically, you're likely to get ganged up on by white knights if you hit a woman for hitting you first. There's not much you can really do in that situation except avoid being in it, unless there is a police officer staring at you as the situation goes down.
My gf admitted to me she was raped and beaten every day for 2 years, attempted suicide multiple times and used to cut as a result.
How the fuck am I supposed to just brush that off?
Is she nuts deep down? She went to a psychiatrist for 3 years and seems pretty normal now. What red flags should I be looking for here?
Your gf is a big fucking red flag.
Abort it as soon as possible.
>Is she nuts deep down?
Define 'nuts'
If you mean she's going to burst into treats once a fortnight or so, then yes.
If you mean she'll flip out and threaten to murder you over literally nothing, then not necessarily.
If you don't think you can handle having to hold her tight every once in a while and tell her everything's going to be OK while she bawls her eyes out, please let her down slowly before she grows too emotionally invested in you.
>>16643019
Shes broken and you are not prepaired to deal with her shit. She has to sort it out herself and that can be years from now. Get out while you can.
I was raped by two of my guy friends about a year and a half ago. Apparently they acted on an impulse and very much regret what they've done.
What they did really fucked me up, but after they apologized I was unable to stay mad at them. I still value them as my friends and I want them to be successful and happy in life. Idk why I feel this way- I think it's just easier to cope with forgiving them than to cope with holding a grudge.
At any rate, my best girlfriend knows what happened because she was the one who found me, took me to the hospital, and called the police.
The problem now is that I still enjoy being friends with these two boys, but my female friend HATES when I interact with them on any platform. She is like thirsty for vengeance, and while I appreciate her defending me, I really do enjoy my friendship with the two boys.
What is the solution here? I don't want to make my gal pal suffer by worrying about me, but I don't want to cut off my two guy friends.
Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome. She has your best interest in heart. You should cut off ties with the dudes, they fucking raped you!
>>16642861
what kidn of rape was this? were you all drunk and they threesome'd you without any real consent or did they tie you up and fuck you while you cried?
serious question here. in order to understand you feelings we need to understand the situation
Do you think a reasonable person would react the way you have?
I would say to you that most people would not consider your course of action reasonable, normal, or sane.
It is, I think, worth asking yourself why you currently feel this way towards your attackers.
Have you talked to any professional third parties about this?
Just a forewarning that this post may be a bit long winded. If you don't want to read more than a couple sentences, then please move [If you choose to stay because you have nothing to do and choose to troll, that is on you] along otherwise here we go:
----------------------------
I'm a 21 year old, diagnosed with depression when I was 11, not sure I ever healed. Was in therapy/took meds for awhile but stop maybe two or three years ago and I'm not really sure why.
Anyways flash-forward to now I've "had" about 3 jobs now; All fast food/customer service jobs, which I left around the first month every time. I'm not really a people person. I wouldn't say I'm shy, just that dealing with people stresses/drains me. Now I found a job as a Night Clerk at a local grocer which suits me just fine. No customers, no rush.
Lately, the past few months to be more specific, I've been feeling really depressed for no reason. Not catatonic, but maybe half way there. I feel no joy about anything. I don't feel like doing anything. Usually I just stay in my room and play video games but I haven't even felt like doing that. I don't even feel like getting out of bed these days. I don't want to do anything.
I feel like I don't even want to go to my job which is finally something I can tolerate but I just feel so...dead...inside if you'll pardon the drama of that sentence. I feel as though it would be easier simply to just "die." I don't know what the fuck to do anymore.
Can anyone relate to me? What can I do to get past this mental fog? What should I do in regards to my job and...well, my life? I don't have friends to talk to, no supportive people.
Help, if you can.
You work shifts don't you?
Maybe that is your problem. Look into it.
>>16642869
If you mean to ask if I work Night shifts or the like then, yes, I do. I appreciate the comment but I Know that isn't it. Even if it was, it's the only job that suits me.
Kind of relatable to me.
I think what you need is a purpose to live for, find that special someone and get to know them, talk to your friends or visit your family.
what does it mean when I tell a girl I've been dating that I love her?
It's the first time I've ever actually said that to a girl. It kinda came out on accident, then she asked if I really meant it so I said yes. Now we say it all the time to each other.
We've only been dating for barely a month. At what point do you tell a person you love them?
When you feel like you love them, dickhead.
>>16642268
>barely a month
>love
its called infatuation, come back in a few years(if you manage to keep with her) and ask again
>>16642268
>so I said yes
But...did you mean it?
Tomorrow is the day /adv/...
I have decided to break up with my boyfriend of 4 years because of our sex life. We've been through so much together but I can't do this anymore.
He has had a porn habit since he was 16 and it didn't stop when we got together..when he was 22. He has tried to see therapists and it didn't help, I have tried to talk about any fetishes he has, tried to be prettier/sexier, tried to be patient and understanding but nothing is working. I suggested a diet change and exercise but he didn't stick to it either. We've had sex once in the past 3 months and I am feeling very unwanted and neglected.
He is a good person and a great friend but it's just not working for me. I need sex more than once every 3 months.
My friend told me I am making the correct decision, especially since she has witnessed my self esteem plummet since I found out about his porn addiction a year into our relationship. I think I have been more than patient and understanding, I guess I just want reassurance that I am doing the right thing here, that I am not being irrational or crazy... or going about it the wrong way.
Any advice/tips would be really good right now.
Damn. If you loved him I think you would try harder. Instead of just dropping him like that, if it's an actual addiction you'd stick through it together. Just touch yourself? Try to be more understanding if you actually love him, but I mean probably not right?
>>16642243
She tried for three years, how is that not enough? You can't help someone that won't help themselves.
>>16642245
This. 3 yrs is a fuck long time to wait for him to get his dick straight.
How often should a husband get head?
So getting oral sex drives me crazy. I love it. But since my wife and I have gotten married it has been pretty lackluster. So my wife and I have been married about almost a full 5 months in that time I have only gotten 4 blowjobs--This time includes a honeymoon and my Birthday!
In her defense she got extremely sick on our honeymoon due to seasickness (we went on a cruise so it was pretty terrible). But she didn't even try to "make it up to me."
She also felt sick on both veterans day and my birthday (I said she only had to go down on me one of those days Nov. Birthday--yay scoripio). But I had to remind her my IOU.
She doesn't like receiving but will give.
We had sexy time well before we were married.
I just feel like my wife isn't giving me enough head. And we don't have sex nearly enough either--oh and she hates handjobs thinks they are disgusting so won't even just give me handy instead of a bj. FML
>>16641439
easy.
cheat on her.
i'm not even trying to be captain edgelord here.
if you're making it clear that you want more head, and she doesn't want to give it to you, she has no right to prevent you from getting it elsewhere.
unless you're just being passive aggressive and simply expecting her to KNOW you want more.
>>16641442
I suppose that is an option. And I have tried to be open about it. When I do she then gets defensive or gets uber depressed/sad.
Be more aggressive, not less.
