Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1656. page
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I'm debating if I should get my own place.
I'm 25. Up until now I've just bummed housing off of girlfriends or friends. And to be fair, while I never paid rent I would carry my own weight around the house and being a significant other, would tend to buy them a lot of shit, pay for dinners, other stupid shit.
Currently I live with my parents. Which you laugh at but I live in fucking Hawaii. It's expensive as shit down here.
So the girl I'm currently dating is the first one who does not have access to her own private room. So we do not have a secured private place for sex. And for the both of us, sex is a huge deal.
In addition to that I'm a college student. Theatre major (lol useless degree). My folks place is about 30 minutes away from my college (and my girlfriend). And this is especially a problem when I have class at 9 in the morning and I'm in rehearsal until 9 at night.
Now to my benefit, I have the keys to the theatre I work/am a student at. There are several rooms I can pull my girlfriend into after hours and fuck in.
But overall it would be easier (and less stopping mid fuck to double check somebody isn't walking in to the room were fucking in) if I had my own place. So no necessary but convenient.
Now the kicker is I graduate in May. And I plan on leaving this hellhole. Immediately. I have two conferences in the new two months at which I'm interviewing for several theatre tech jobs on the mainland.
So tl:dr
>Reasons why I should
I need a place to fuck
Closer to my college
I don't have any references for when I need to get my own place on the mainland
Because I'm 25 grow the fuck up
>Reasons why I shouldn't
I'm leaving in the next 4-5 months
Holy fuck it's expensive; I could just use the money for a place on the mainland
While it's not great, I can just fuck my girl at my theatre
Thoughts?
>>16782017
Check classifieds, CL, student postings for students renting a house that want to fill a room with someone who will help with the rent.
Otherwise deal with it like you have been. No sense putting in a huge effort when you're leaving in three months.
>>16782045
It's less a case of how I should go about it, and rather a case of "is it worth it at this point?"
>>16782100
Probably not. Relocating fucking sucks and doing it twice in one year sounds dreadful.
I have been dating this girl for a couple of months and she's been really into me. Last week that changed and she's turned a bit cold in regards to the lovey dovey, phone sex and sexting messages. She still txts me first now and then and even sent me a message today saying she has a surprise for me, but I'm wondering if that's out of guilt because I've bought her a few presents. She's literally gone from saying I miss and want you every other day to nothing. I get if I send her anything cheeky, she plays it off like we're now all of a sudden buddies. Then yesterday out of the blue she invites me to her cousins birthday as her date next month. Its really messing my head up and I'm so confused! Another big part of this story is I had an allergic reaction to a experimental depression pill about 10 years a go and its kept me out of work up until now. How I met her was through a government scheme where she helps people get back to work. If her work found out about us, she'd be sacked in an instant, plus I have to see her again in a meeting at the end of the month. So I'm now thinking is she scared I might ruin her career out of spite if she says she's not interested in me anymore?
Tonight we spoke on the phone and I'm playing it pretty cool, but I didn't want to come across needy, so I disguised what I wanted to say and a got a few answers. Sometimes tonight she seemed really into me and then others times not at all. I've just become a personal trainer and she said tonight that she's going to go back to the gym, so I offered my services and she turned me down in a heart beat and said; "no my brothers going to help me". She said I've got some friends who need training if you need clients. Again, I don't know what to think about that.
We were talking about being together and what not after the first few dates and it did feel very rushed and I kind of regretted saying anything to begin with, but she was very keen and also said similar back. That was definitely the alcohol talking for both us. So tonight I said; "we've been on quite a few dates, but I wouldn't say we were in a relationship yet" and she replied in a soft, winey, innocent, high voice; "No not really". I'm thinking to myself is that a no I'm sorry this isn't working, or a no I do and I'm disappointed that you said that! I never said anything because she changed the subject. Should I confront her about this tomorrow on our date face to face? What leads me to believe this is when we were talking a bit later on this evening she also told me she hated breaking up with her ex because she didn't want to hurt his feelings and strung him along until she felt like it she could muster up the courage and tell him. I said; "Well don't do that to me, I'd want to know if I was wasting my time". Again I didn't really get much of a reply, but she said no I wouldn't.
My gut has been telling me somethings up and for some reason that has passed today, but I still haven't eaten much in three days. Funny thing is, this is the first time I've ever felt like this as I'm quite a cold person normally by nature and rarely show any emotions towards any women, but for some reason they normally like it. No idea why.
She's on her period bro
>>16781974
If only it was that simple.
My boyfriend says that I'm cheating on him when I rate other mens cocks. Is he right?
>>16781926
No, you aren't touching them
Not technically but so what?
>>16781931
Let's say theoretically that I sent pictures of my penis to those men. Would that be cheating? Please tell me it wouldn't qualify as cheating. Please....
I feel as though I have gained a better self-awareness now that I am older, but I still have bad habits that I need help shaking off. I would like to live a more organized life and rid myself of my knack for procrastinating and wasting time. I currently go to uni and live with my parents, have never had a job, and have yet to move out, which I think has something to do with it. I'm going to be 23 this year and would like to live more actively and focused.
I would like to fix my diet and try gaining muscle again (I'm pretty thin and have worked out consistently before but lost my momentum a while back), but since my parents tend to pick up food/eat out more often than I would like, I end up eating crap and it sucks because I KNOW I'm eating crap but never get around to abstaining from junk myself.
I know I can do well in school if I stay focused, but I end up procrastinating on assignments and wasting time with my friends playing LoL or doing some other bullshit. I also have things I would like to be good at, both music and art, but need to shape my schedule to leave room for practicing them.
I shy away from going after girls, to hook up or even for something more long term, more than I used to because I think I have HPV and don't want to spread it to anyone. I also feel that if I were to tell them, they would lose all interest.
So, how can I take control of my bad habits and replace them with good ones to become more productive/self-sufficient? I want to think big and live life to the fullest, but I feel years of bad habits and settling for less are keeping me from reaching it. I basically just need help getting started with shaping my daily routine. Having all of these moments of realizing that I fucked up has really fucked with my head for too long and I just want to take hold my life for once.
You need to reshape your life the way YOU want it, and stop going with the flow. Make a commitment to yourself. Keep the schedules you need, and don't let other people mess them up. Try taking up a new hobby to force yourself to spend a couple of hours a day working on something not related to school or basic everyday living - something challenging but fun, and with concrete results, like carpentry.
Quit playing LoL.
>>16782703
Deeply underrated
Can I become asexual? I don't even want to have sex in the first place but how do I remove these annoying sexual urges?
>>16781903
Keep posting on 4chan
You'll get there
>>16781903
Go get yourself castrated... unless you don't have the balls...
You have to actually fight negative urges and not live like a fucking pig in slop. This is part of being a functional human being.
I think I'm in love with my girlfriend's 18 year old sister.
I'm 23, gf is 24. My gf's sister recently turned 18. From the second I met her a few years ago, I thought that her little sister (let's call her Jennifer) was stunningly beautiful.
She's beautiful, she's down to earth, and she's a little weird. She's not outgoing, spends most of her time playing dota, and is basically a neet. However, she has an excellent fashion sense, and is, despite her introverted lifestyle, gorgeous.
Don't get me wrong: I love my girlfriend. She perfect for me. Whatever feelings I have for Jennifer are superceded by the love I have for my girlfriend (been together 3.5 Years now. Want to propose after college).
But I find myself constantly thinking of jennifer. I haven't felt this way about someone since the stupid crushes I had in highschool. My girlfriend has caught me looking at jennifer a few times and always pokes fun at me for it (I think my girlfriend also recognizes that jennifer is beautiful, so she probably doesn't hold it against me.) Jennifer has caught me looking a couple times, but always brushes it aside with a joke. That's one of the things I love about her: she's so down to earth.
My girlfriend only has one sister, and they're like best friends. It feels wrong, but I remember the movie American beauty, where kevin spacey falls for his daughters teenaged friend. It makes me think "am I really in love with jennifer, or am I just feeling a little complacent in my 3 year long relationship?"
I don't know if I intrinsically love jennifer, or if I "love" her because it's forbidden; because she's barely legal, and because she's so much more different than other girls.
What are your thoughts?
Did you get to fuck when you where younger?
Seems a lot of people who lost their virginity at +20 regrets not fucking younger. Could be that.
Or maybe you just find her attractive cause you don't see her flaws.
The way i would do it either you talk to Jennifer and try to fuck her once behind you gfs back to see if it's just sexual or you talk to your gf and say you love her but you have some feelings for jennifer.
I would do the second one, but a lot of relationships can't handle the truth so it's up to you.
>>16781896
I lost my virginity when I was 15 to a girl I had dated for a week and then broke up with. I had my fair share of girlfriends. I didn't have a LOT of sex in highschool but I had sex. Nothing adventurous. I didn't like to drink or party or anything (still don't drink or take drugs or anything).
Option number 1 is absolutely off the table. I'm not a cheater. Option 2 is on the table, but for a later date. I feel like our relationship needs to mature quite a bit (as well as her sister hehe) before I'm ready to drop that bomb. I think for now I'll just be stuck with my sister x sister threesome fantasies
>>16781916
Cheating with feelings is worse then cheating sexualy.
You aren't really on any moral highground atm.
My uncle and his now wife had some similar problems, but instead of a sister it was the neighbour.
They talked about it, he couldn't let it go and fucked her.
After he done it he admited it to his now wife and said it was purely sexual, that made him realise how much more he loved his now wife. Now they been happilly married for 8 years and have kids.
so a little over a year i tried to kill myself. ended up in the er, etc etc, on meds that work now, therapists, blah blah blah. Nothing new to me, been doing that since I was 8.
But, ever since then, I'm just completely numb. I didn't really notice it until now because I had been working a very intense job until recently that took up basically all my time. I had no reason to pay any attention to anything that wasnt work.
I'm reschooling now though and i realized that, the reason i was so happy and okay doing that job, was im empty. I feel totally hollow, and the only thing the meds do is keep my emotions under control. Instead of being overwhelmed with an anchor in my stomach and being unable to move because I feel so miserable, I'm just left with an empty vessel.
I don't know what to do. I can't seem to feel good about anything anymore, it's just an endlessly hungry pit inside me.
You say this like it's a bad thing.
Maybe your going a bout it the wrong way , you know what always makes me feel better is tasting the end of a rusty shotgun barrel and when I'm at my worst I load it
the fuck is this rash /adv/
it comes along with cold symptoms, never seen this before though
>>16781836
Scarlet fever
Are you feeling flu like? Is this reoccurring? Do your muscles feel sore, achey, neck pain, joint pain, headaches? Have you been bitten by a tick? How long has this been going on? Any other symptoms? Does lupus run in your family? Arthritis? Do you live in a Lyme endemic area? (Northeast)
Also are you on any drugs? antibiotics
Me want to get qt girlfriend
she into me, she's more into me than I am into her
but me poor and life is messed up
Do I try it and be ashamed for life because of the possible fail ?
No one to help me on this one ?
if she is into you, she's probably somewhat aware of what she's getting into.
go for a few dates, and after that lay your situation out. you being poor isn't a real reason not to date.
>>16782535
Well it does destroys the idea of "the charming prince" buy shit stuff, from what I've seen she's not that materialistic but she enjoy trips, costy things, she lived in a world of gifts and I'm not willing to blame her. I just feel like this is really not her situation and no matter how I will try to be nice, I can't top what's she's used to.
And "my life is messed" is even worse, I don't have grand-parents, never knew one, I don't have any relatives, my father is dead, ...
This might be the topic of another thread, but for now I feel so minimized in front of this lady and she surely is someone who will make me feel better, but I don't want it to happen that way.
I really don't know, I don't want to try my luck and see her through my studies as the symbol of "you're poor and that's why it didn't work out"
it's paradoxal, but if I let her go, I will probably see her the same way.
>live in smallish town ~20k people
>good friends with really nice chick
>talked a lot
>she starts hanging out with real trashy chicks
>becomes a real bitch
>was the only friend I enjoyed talking to
>last year
>hate everything about this town and just want to leave
How do I survive my last year before I go to University?
sup joji
Pick up a couple cool hobbies. Learn an instrument, learn a language, learn to dance, get in shape. Pick up a sport or a martial art. Do whatever. It doesn't matter.
I really hope this comes across as comforting and not patronizing: you're still just a baby. Honestly, my real life didn't even really start until university and I'm fucking fine. Never had sex, never had a girlfriend, didn't have many friends at all ... just keep your grades up so you can get into a decent-sized school with the kind of atmosphere you'll do well in.
A year is no time at all. It feels like a lot at your age, but it really isn't. Just use the time to pick up a few cool skills, keep your eyes open for anybody who might be worth befriending in the meantime, before you know it this'll all be a mildly unpleasant memory.
>>16781833
well I've already got a diploma so that should help me get into a good uni. Any advice for when I start uni?
Should I go to an asian massage parlor, a strip club or an escort?
I'm 26 and never even so much as kissed a girl before. I just want to look at and touch a woman. As much as I would like to have sex I don't think paying for my first time would be something I want to live with, though I might reconsider in 4 years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq8FAou_oGQ
Soliciting a prostitute is just expensive masturbation with a significantly higher chance of getting arrested or contracting a disease.
Also, paying for sex doesn't count as losing your virginity.
Focus on you, develop yourself, and start meeting women instead. You're thinking in terms of "Oh God, I'm 26, it's too late." Sure, if you want to date 19 year olds. But many women in their late 20s are starting to look for men with more put-together lives rather than just fun penises.
In short, no, you shouldn't. You can do better things with your time and money.
Fuck the bullshit bro the more time you think about not getting any the more time you waste. My friend has this skin problem so he has to pay for it and guess what it made him a better person because he knows what pussy feels like , you needs to get it before you turn 30 or else they going make a movie about you like ol boy so what if you pay for it up front bitches always going make you pay for it one way or another
so no lie i have a huge thing for my bestfriends sister and have no fucking clue what to do. the problem is its his sister..... and in order to quest id have to jump into the deep end and find out if she likes me back. i think so but not sure. no lie she reminds me of my first girlfriend and i have no idea what to do i really have a thing for this girl.
>>16781785
YOUR LUCKY DAY ANON. I happen to be an expert in this kind of situation - I'll now teach you how two secret conversation techniques will solve your problem:
>Bro, would you mind if I asked your sister out?
>Not at all, bro! Go for it
>Hey, bro's sister, you wanna grab a bite somewhere next friday?
>Sure, anon.
Don't, you're going to lose a friend if so.
>>16782601
Yo I mean how to go about finding out if its worth it or not no lie he's kinda a dick and she has hinted at it but like beta fuck problems you know?
I just asked a girl out who I love and she likes me but she pretty much just rejected me I need help fast
Take it in stride. If you really love her than you have loved her as friend in the past. Give yourself time and space. If it's too much being around her after giving yourself time ask yourself why you were friends with her in the first place.
If it was getting in her pants, break the friendship and move on. If it's loving her personality keep her as a close friend, move on for both your sakes. For all you know you might have a drunken fling in the future and something might come of it. Or nothing might.
Just don't do the typical guy thing that every guy does and freak out and break all contact. It will make her ultimately less trusting of guys and people in general.
>>16781775
Op nothing says "im a huge faggot" like attention-whoring "woe is me" text on black background.
That said, if she rejected you she does not like you. what that means is she wanted to let you down easy so instead of saying no she says yes but then gives an excuse as to why it cant happen. Dont fret though op there will be more girls in your life. Also stop putting women on pedestals
>i love her
>but we arent dating yet
This is bad
>>16781786
>dont cut contact
If you go to a car dealership and cant get the car you want do you continue to stay in touch with that dealership? No, you go to a different one that will give you the car you want.
If youre asking someone out regularly who youre interested in it is no longer a platonic relationship or never was and pretending otherwise is dumb and a waste of your time and a potential roadblock for future relationships "oh what youre still friends with some girl you wanted to bang but she turned you down?" Most people interested in you would be turned off by this
A girl gave me her phone number at a party. She's really hot, and I would be astounded if she were actually interested in me, but I also have really low self-esteem so maybe I'm just more attractive than I thought I was. Should I text her? If so, what should I say?
How do you even know its her number?
texting his beta, just call her and see whats up, ask her on a date, fastest way to know if she's intersted
ez pz
If she gave you her number she's interested. have some confidence dude.
I would recommend texting her first, say
"Hey it's Nick, we met at the party last week"
If she responds she is still interested, if not move on.
If she responds and she's interested she'll probably say something like "heyy"
Then you have the go ahead to say "What are you up to? Free to talk on the phone for a bit?"
Then call her and ask her about herself, but don't be boring. Be genuinely interested in her.
remember FORD: Family, Occupation, recreation, dreams. That's what you talk about.
>>16781779
Forgot to add that after you make some small talk on the phone ask her to meet up for a date that night or as soon as possible.
I've been single for almost a year and a half now, with no romantic prospects or interest in me whatsoever. How long until I start becoming bitter towards women?
As long as you don't jack off your body will crave women.
I've found that if I jack off too much, I start to become bitter towards women. especially if I fap to porn.
Why would you chose to become bitter?
I've been single my entire life. I have never dated anyone seriously, yet I been treated pretty poorly by few men in my life, this also including my own father. Men generally aren't too interested in me, and I don't blame them, but this being said, in theory I had all the reasons to become an angry and bitter, fat feminist.
And I can't say I sometimes didn't want to, in a way. It would protect myself from the feelings of rejection I've felt so often and it would maybe help me to brain myself to think that I never even wanted to feel loved, because "all men are pigs" or something similar.
But anon, by doing that to yourself you'll only do harm to yourself. Women or other people won't care, they'll maybe just feel a bit sad for you at most.
There are good people out there, also women. There is no reason to distance yourself from all women or dating life totally or to let the negative things to get you. We all been there, feeling like we aren't good enough, that we are lonely, or that we'll never find anyone.
But the thing is anon, that love feels amazing. You should always be open for it and never let the bitterness to get you, cause it won't help you gain anything what so ever.
Sometimes you just gotta stop trying so hard. Focus on yourself and things that makes you happy, try to be social in a one way or another and sooner or later magic happens.
>>16782136
>Sometimes you just gotta stop trying so hard. Focus on yourself and things that makes you happy, try to be social in a one way or another and sooner or later magic happens.
Your post was decent up until this point. This is a cliche saying and completely untrue for the most part for males. Look, you need to think from the perspective of males here. Women expect you to take initiative. Things don't "just happen" for males. If I went out to socialize and sat waiting for a girl to pay interest in me, I'd be waiting a long time.
For females the saying may well hold up. Put themselves in enough social gatherings and one guy will show up that piques their interest to the point where she'd be interested in more. Of course, the guy needs to show he's interested and make the moves. For guys, this shit doesn't happen and if it does it's because the guy has the looks.
For males, nothing happens if you don't hunt for it. It's as simple as that.
To OP, I understand your frustration. I'm a 270lb guy who's bearded/bald. I get overlooked a lot, and I don't go for 9/10 slim females, I go for chubby girls as thats what I'm attracted to and feel comfortable with. They end up rejecting me for the more fitter guys. It's very hard not to get bitter, especially considering the double standard. If you find the answer, let me know. Because day by day I'm finding it difficult just to not outright swear off women. I wouldn't ever be an ass to females. But as it stands currently, my opinion of them in regards to dating is not very high.
