Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1476. page
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I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like the last 25 years of my life was a waste and I just want to croak already. I'm ugly as sin and can't even get laid by any guy. I'm depressed, have social anxiety, and I'm fat so no guy would want me anyways.
Efforts to be more outgoing and lose weight just backfire on me. The last time I felt courageous enough to approach a group of people and try to say hello at a party, two of the girls looked at me with confusion and disgust while the rest of the guys laughed and pretended not to notice me. When I left I heard one guy say, "Who was that fat chick?" It felt humiliating enough I immediately left and broke down in the restroom.
I can't even stick to a diet because I feel so hopeless. The primary reason for my fat is because of spinal stenosis in my back causing me great pain that some days I can't even get out of bed and I stay mostly homebound and eat myself into depression. So now I feel useless and a burden on my parents who I feel sorry for and never wished to be born so they could live a happier life rather than be a leech. The experience at the party undid years of counseling and therapy with my social anxiety and now I can't even look anyone in the face when talking to them, get scared shitless when I think about getting a job.
I want to believe I have hope for getting out of this pile of mess life has thrown at me, but I feel too tired. I know life is tough, but I just can't handle it. The constant chronic pain in my back everyday immobilizing me and I can't even get treatment because no insurance, knowing I'm defective as a human being in general because I can't even look someone in the fucking eye and say something without feeling like vomiting, my depression effectively putting me in a vicious cycle of suicidal thoughts and regret, I can't take it.
I don't even know how I can get a gun to blow my brains out or I'll just consider jumping off a high enough building to splatter my brains.
I just wanted to vent this out to anyone who would bother to listen. I kept things bottled up for too long I'm afraid to tell anyone else. But I'll tell you guys and be forgotten the next day so I don't regret letting things out.
>>16859470
Don't create excuses for yourself. Your back should not be limiting you. I have it too. Youre using various things to defer blame rather than putting it on yourself.
Youre fat because of you.
You're ugly because you're fat.
You're depressed because you spend entire days at home, eating, rather than working on bettering yourself.
Life didn't throw anything bad at you. YOU threw bad things at yourself.
I'm sorry this is what you're going through, but what I'm saying is true. It wont be easy. It will be the most difficult thing you've ever done... You need to take some blame for these things and realize you can change if you choose to.
I'll type some more stuff out. My family grew up poor and my parents are Asian immigrants. We were isolated here with no support system so we're on our own. I grew up being an awkward kid that made absolutely no friends up to college where I dropped out because I couldn't handle the stress of schoolwork. And yes I got the typical Asian parents school treatment wanting A's and shit, but after they found out I couldn't accomplish much they kinda gave up on me and just told me to be able to get a job, but I can't even do that now.
Up from my birth until now, I haven't had a single friend. Not even acquaintances, and I feel pathetic. Guys won't give me the time of day. I even got bullied by them because of how ugly and fat I was.
My parents didn't believe I had depression until high school and finally got help for me. My therapist wasn't helpful and told me to apply to jobs even after telling her about my social anxiety, which was much worse back then. I couldn't even talk to her without tears in my eyes.
And idk what to type atm I'm going on a tangent.
I broke up with my girlfriend and she says she still wants to be friends. Even though she said this, shit's really awkward
Dont, if she does not want to be with you anymore then she shouldnt be hanging around you. Why give her the benefits of being in a relationship with you when she does not have to give anything in return
>>16859467
I have the same problem. Bump.
>>16859492
I broke up with he,. she didn't break up with me.
Hi,
I am a 19 year old male, my height is around 5ft7in or about 170 cm, and I weigh around 93 pounds. As you can tell, I am extremely thin, so thin that you would think that I am intentionally starving myself for some reason. This is not intentional. I have always been significantly thinner than others most of my life. I would like to fix this, as at the moment I am embarrassingly weak and probably unattractive to most people.
My diet is very poor and I do not eat very much at all. I always eat a full breakfast, but I will usually have a very light lunch and will usually have a very light dinner (sometimes I skip dinner completely). I just seem to not feel hunger as strongly as most people. Occasionally, I can ignore hunger completely if I am working on or am involved in something.
When I am hungry enough to be forced to get food, even just having a very small portion will satisfy me enough to not feel hungry, and I usually stop eating once I feel that it is not necessary.
Lack of access to good food also makes things a little difficult. I am a poor college student currently living with my parents, and my parents don't cook often and I am usually forced to eat overpriced food on campus, and my lack of funds sort of promotes my bad dietary habits.
I would like advice on breaking these bad food habits. Gorging myself on $1 mcdonalds burgers everyday is probably a very bad idea, and "just eat more" sounds simple enough, but has been hard to implement for me. I appreciate any advice I can give on this situation, especially if one has experiences with eating disorders similar to mine.
You could try to buy things in bulk like rice, and add various different things to it. (Tuna in oil and soy sauce with rice is my favourite thing ). And flour, learn how to make breads off the Internet. Look for how to cook all sorts of things that are affordable, and find stuff you really enjoy the taste of and would be more inclined to eat. Assuming part of the reason you tend not to eat much is because you can't be bothered with it. That's the problem I have anyway.
Trying to eat smaller amounts more often could help you gain weight? Although it could be difficult if you're not necessarily hungry.
I have this issue as well. I almost never eat breakfast, only snack on unhealthy things throughout the day, and finally eat a proper meal at night. :/
I don't know if this was any help, but good luck friend!
It could be part of mental illness if you have that? My depression does the same thing to my appetite. If that's the case, or a contributing factor, then you can try to alleviate depression/ other.
Can you cook for your parents (and therefore yourself)?
when did you guys move out? I'm 25 and live at home. its pretty good, but i think its time to get independent. I never really see my parents but when i do all they do is fight.
last night they were drinking and my friends were over. my moms phone went off because she has been sending men online naked pictures of herself for whatever reason and my dad lost it and my mom started crying and punching him.
i cant live in this anymore. i make 23 dollars an hour but i would like to go back to college and start taking something i really want. can i get a place and not be tied down to it?
>>16859450
>when did you guys move out
19. Was out for about two years and then had to move back in with mommy and daddy when it got too expensive.
Been here ever since and now 24. It's pathetic, but I get along with my parents and they like having me around to help out.
>>16859450
Still there at 25 cause they don't have a problem with it. I pay like 350 a month and it's way cheaper than renting for 1 and easier than rooming. I do want to leave if the chance comes up though.
Go on faceberg or whatever and look for roommates.
i'm a sophomore in highschool who doesn’t plan to go to college. my grades are pretty trash, but i'll probably be able to graduate as a average or below average student. will that ruin a lot of my chances in life?
>>16859442
life is very broad. i was a completely average student, but i make decent money running a small business (not the owner, he just hired me) and the experience will translate into me eventually getting a job at a not so small business where i make between 40 and 60 thousand a year depending on what my exact title ends up being. possible escalation from there, but in tihs day and age if you can get 40k you can live just fine.
despite how everyone on 4chan claims to be a megamillionaire CEO, its not the case.
>>16859442
18+ website
I guess it depends what you want to do after highschool?
Recently I told my best friend I had feelings for her because I was really sure she felt the same way, but she friendzoned me. When I say I'm sure she liked me I mean the 'evidence' was overwhelming. Her roomates both telling me we would make the perfect couple and asking if I like her. My ex girlfriend telling me she liked me and that there were so many hints. Three of my other best friends Telling me she would say yes, etc.
We stopped talking, and have only made brief contact a few times during the past month. I needed awhile without her to move past my feelings for her, she said she still wanted to be friends.
The other night she convinced one of our other very close friends (who's birthday it was) that they shouldn't have guys at the party. She's been doing a lot of things that are very unlike her. What I'm asking for advice on is this: She told at least one person (the birthday girl last night) that I tried to fuck her. She also was telling my date from two nights ago- who was also at the party- that I was a bad guy and that I'm just trying to fuck girls.
I think she said I'm trying to fuck her because a few days before I told her I had feelings for her, she stayed over in my bed and I cuddled her. While we were cuddling I ran my hand under her shirt and just left it on her stomach for awhile. No problem. I started inching towards her chest and her heart started beating faster. My hand when under her bra. No problem. I held her boobs a little and squeezed her close to me for awhile before I left to use the restroom. When I came back to bed she was closer to my side- this time I turned her while we were cuddling so instead of spooning her face was on my chest. I worked hand down over her buttcheek and just squeezed her closer again. I wasn't going to push any further if she didn't reciprocate my touch- but she didn't have an issue with anything. I just pulled back and cuddled her normally for awhile and then went to the side of the bed to sleep.
I feel really guilty but should I? Would you classify that as trying to fuck her? Should I tell my friends what happened?
I really thought this girl was interested in that sort of thing. Should I talk to her about it directly? She's stirring up drama and I don't think thats like her so I'd still rather not just say fuck that and tell her to shut up. We've sort of drifted apart but I'd rather we stayed friends.
>>16859420
>i ask her out
>she doesnt like me
>i try to use science to prove to her that she likes me
>everyone (except her) says she should like me, therefore it is law
>she starts spreading rumors that i like sex
>shes only saying that cuz i tried to have sex with her!
>so basically what im asking is... well i dont know. i didnt even bother thinking of an actual questions
>which pokemon should i start with xD
heres the tl;dr version for you op
>>16859431
>should i feel guilty
nah you wanted something, you went for it, it didnt work.
>should i tell my friends what happened
nah. they already know. you DID try to fuck her. sure you stopped at her butt cuz she didnt reciprocate, but the way you worded that aloen shows your endgame was to fuck her, and if not that, get as close to fucking her as possible. sure you also had feelings but thats irrelvant.
>tell her to shut up
thats not going to unstir the drama. its just gonna stir it.
I've been talking to this girl for about a week and a half now, and this past week we've been sending each other hearts, and saying "I love you," calling one another baby, babe etc. We made plans to go out yesterday, and we did. We went to the movies, saw Deadpool, throughout the whole movie I had my arm around her, second half of movie was on her thigh, near her ass area. She fell asleep on me, for the last 1/4 of the movie, and when we left she gave me a hug and I kissed her head.
Before, we would text eachother from when she woke up to until she fell asleep, but today I haven't heard from her all day. Is she not interested? What can I do/say to make this better? I've sent her messages on pic related and snapchat, but the Snaps didn't go through (says pending) and the pic related messages have just been on Delivered the entire duration of the day.
whatdo?
>>16859404
>things went good
good
>today she no text
maybe shes busy. did you text her? maybe she had nothing important to say? relationships progress. you arent going to text her every day for the rest of your life. excitement wears out. you become 'comfortable'. in the meantime, shes just busy and had nothing of important to say.
>what can i do/say to make this better?
unlock the sound test menu and listen to the following stages in this order: 04, 01, 02, 06
you dont have to listen to the whole song, just skip to the enxt one. you should hear a 'ring' sound effect when completed. and then you'll automatically have all 7 chaos emeralds.
>>16859423
>did you text her
i did
>nothing important to say
we rarely talk about important stuff, not that we don't ever, it's mainly small talk and random questions (i.e "things that scare you" etc.)
>>16859605
yeah, but did you get all the chaos emeralds?
I'm living on a visa in the USA that allows me to study and live here legally, but not work.
I'm sorted in regards to college and living, but I'd like some money to spend on myself personally. What are my options in regards to getting some, preferably legally?
The people I've known who don't have work visas had to do it under the table. One worked for a family friend's restaurant, another at a shooting range. You'd probably have better luck finding some small business that pays cash from other people in your situation in your area.
>>16859387
>i cant legally work
>how do i work legally?
apply for a work visa. you wont get one. probably. or you can just do it illegally. work at a restaurant or other business where tehy hire dirty foreigners off the books. do some maid service once a week, go to the gigs section of craigslist and see what odd jobs you can pick up.
or find the dumb people who dont know how to internet on campus. say you will download them up to ten movies for just 10 bucks. full TV shows are 10 as well.
on a student visa you cant work at all???
that doesn't seem accurate.
which visa do you have? a J1?
Hey /adv/ I need a way to make 700 dollars in one day, bank screwed me over and my rent is due. Any suggestions?
>>16859379
If female, sell sex
>>16859379
If male, sell sex
>>16859379
If female sell sex.
If male. Suck alot of dick. Try and stay away from black ones. Niggas are broke mofo
How do I connect with people?
I have a lot of acquaintances, but I don't know how to get them to want to hang out with me.
I'm sort of in the same situation, OP. Thing is my acquaintances are all online ones that either live in another country or far away from me.
The one acquaintance I met in school can rarely visit the city I live in. He's coming to town soon for a weekend and invited me to join him and go to a rock concert/event. I'm not a fan of concerts like those and would rather spend time somewhere quiet. Given I have been feeling ultra lonely lately, I'm considering going just to spend time with someone else.
I find it unlikely we will have much fun, as I am nowhere as enthusiastic about the artists that will be there as he is.
I know these two qt grills. Grill A and Grill B. They're both single, although Grill A recently went through a breakup. They're good friends, and often flirt with me. Even in front of one another. Grill A rubs my back and coos my name, and Grill B calls me "daddy" and does other sexual things. If I go after one, it might ruin their friendship. Should I go for bitch, bitch, or bitches? Wat do, anons?
>>16859372
bump
>>16859372
Girl B.
Don't be the rebound for girl A
>>16859646
Thank you m8.
I have a GF and a guy friend messages her on and off weekly to hang out with her and have dinners or lunches. She doesn't respond to him but he still asks her to go.
Tell the guy to f off
>>16859396
But she says that he is her friend.
She is setting up your potential replacement. Either that or she is actually cheating on you, which i doubt.
I tried eating my girlfriend out a couple of times. She says it's really good but she doesn't think she can orgasm because she'll get there and then suddenly stop without finishing. I asked her how she would feel trying to orgasm with a vibratory first and she agreed to try. Why would it help her to do it on her own first? If she can't do it on her own does that mean she can't finish?
Also,
>nigger cock
No.
>someone else
No.
>trauma
No.
>>16859353
The female orgasm is a fickle thing. She may have emotional barriers even she doesn't know about. Try having conversation while the deed is being done. Worked for me.
>>16859353
You're trying to make her orgasm, that's the problem.
You can't force it.
I think you being there could be better.
Okay, it's a long story, so bear with me.
12 years ago today, I lost my baby. I was almost 9 months along. I was 26, and had just gotten back from some baby shopping with my at the time husband. It had iced over the previous night, and as I was walking up the steps, I slipped. The most vivid memory I have from that day was when I couldn't hear him crying. I knew from the moment I slipped that he had died, but when he was born I still expected to hear him cry. It's almost as if a part of my heart died along with him. I never even named him. I can remember waking up every single morning after that day feeling empty because, he would always start to kick at around 7am. A few months after I lost him, my husband and I split up. He coped by drinking, and I coped by distancing myself. You never get over losing a child. You just learn to live with it. Anyway, a few weeks ago I met up with my ex husband at a bar just to catch up. We both ended up getting a little drunk, and went home together. Stuff happened, and I guess you can put two and two together. Last week, I began to feel just a strange feeling in my core. Nothing I ate sat right. So on my way to work I picked up a pregnancy test. Sure enough, it was positive. I took six tests, and they all came out positive. After I lost my son, I swore I'd never get pregnant again. I called my ex husband and we had a very long talk. He was shocked, but after it wore off we agreed on keeping the baby. He's planning on moving in next month. We're on good terms, and we agreed it's best for the baby that we raise him/her together. We don't know if we'll be getting married yet, we're taking it one step at a time. My only problem is, I feel like I'll never move on. Not a day goes by where I don't break down and cry. My son would've been 12 today. I just feel like I'll never be happy, or that I won't feel love for my new baby. I feel like it'll never get better, but I need help before my new baby is born. Does anyone have advice?
I don't think that you'll ever get over the child you lost, unfortunately. It is a sad thing to deal with but hopefully the new child will bring out some happiness for the both of you. Best of luck.
Love this baby as much as you would the one that died. You sound like a good parent I'm sure you'll do good.
I am sorry to hear about the circumstances. Losing a baby is never that easy, but that far along is especially rough. The above said, congratulations on patching things up with your ex and on your new pregnancy.
Have you seen a therapist before? A grief counselor may be best; they specialize in cases dealing with loss like this. Maybe you've already done this -I don't know- but I've got to check.
You mention that you never named your first child: it sounds like this weighs on you. Have you considered giving him a name? The ancient Romans used to do this. They were not a very creative people when it came to names -most of the common given names were just indications of birth order- but they counted miscarriages and stillbirths in that order. For example, if your new child is a boy, the Romans might have named him Secundus ("second"), even though he would be your first child to survive to term. I am not suggesting that you name this new child Secundus, obviously, and naming your first child Primus (as the Romans would have) sounds strange today. But the Roman found some meaning in naming even lost babies. Would naming your first child have some meaning for you? Might that help the healing process?
I can't stop procrastinating. I'm doing it right now. How do you stop yourself?
You need a montage
I never did and now I work at the post office.
