Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1474. page
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My boyfriend got upset at the fact that I go to another male friend to talk about my problems and not to him. I do this because whenever I do I feel like my problems are belittled and all he does is tells me that everything is going to be alright. I appreciate it but I'm not getting any help or advice. What should I do about this?
Tell him what you told us. Duh.
>>16862079
This
Also, don't date condensing patronizing asshats. He has no right to be upset.
Gonna play devil's advocate here and suggest that she has emotional issues that make her sad about stupid shit.
My gf had a phase where shed call and tell me shes breaking up with me because "blah blah blah she talked to her friends and they said"
I honestly kind of found that rude for a few reasons.
One she assumes that they knew what they were talking about.
Two. She gave them an imcomplete and distorted story
Three. She went to them with a tiny problem that they magnified when she could have come to me.
Sure I would tell her she was being irrational (she was) but the only reason I started doing that was because she started being irrational
My girlfriend and I used to be very sexual. We always used to talk dirty about me cumming in her mouth and her face and she always said she'd send me nudes and all of a sudden it completely stopped. If I ever talk about sex she just kinda stops or changes the second and we used to like talk dirt on the phone while we masturbated together and shit and now it's dead and we're kind of ldr. Does it just come in phases? Could she be close to her period or something and getting turned off? She always talked about how she wanted to fuck and suck my dick until I explode in her mouth and now it's nothing she told me one time she misses sex and that's all
>>16859683
>...close to her period or something and getting turned off?
Conversely, most women get hornier on their period. Hence the phrase: "A man loves his woman every day of the month." Confront her about it, and don't do anything to make her uncomfortable. Unless she's into that sorta thing.
>>16859683
Same is happening to me. After many years she no longer likes to talk dirty. Still enjoys sex though. I guess it's something common in them.
>>16859700
My limited experience tells me it's otherwise, they lose interest when on their period. I could be wrong though.
>>16859711
We've only been going out for a month and never even got to do any of the stuff we talked about :/
What's another word for "actually" that I can use in everyday conversation? I get savagely yelled at at work because my boss's pet peeve is that word
Really. In reality.
Or just don't use any of them because they are never necessary.
>>16862043
truthfully
honestly
instead of saying
>Actually, black isn't a color
which tends to be a bit... snooty? kinda 'mightier than thou' try
>well, i read that
or
>well, i heard that
>well, according to XX or YY
so isntead of saying
>actually, your mom is a whore
say
>well, i heard that your mother slept with half the office
I have a very simple question for you today, /adv/.
On the subject of being supportive of friends relationships, should I be vocal in my disapproval or obligatorily supportive? My best friend is currently pursuing a girl and I think he could do much better. She's not terribly attractive relative to him nor is she interesting and I think he's settling because he just got out of a 4 year relationship and is on the rebound but I've never been in a situation like this before and I dunno if it's correct to interject or not. If I am supposed to let him know, how do I do it without sounding like an ass?
>>16859679
Friends don't let friends scrape the bottom of the barrel. Tell him he can do so much better.
>>16859679
Tell him exactly what you have said in this post, always being respectful. But don't force him to stop seeing her.
Voice your opinion respectfully. That's what a true friend should do.
Help, I need your help, I feel fucking hopeless. I had a one month relationship with a girl and I fucking gave it all. Again. And before that I had a 3 year relationship, where I fucking gave it all and she fucking reciprocated with several breakups until I got fed up from her shit.
Now I feel fucking hopeless. I wish I didn't want a couple so hard, I wish it wasn't an emotional necessity. I have to work hard, endure rough times, fucking suck up feeling hurt, for what? To have a girl shrugging me off like this?! And if I make a mistake, a single fucking mistake, the relationship is nearly over?! I don't know if my heart will endure another girl in my life, I fucking give it all, I try to make them feel secure, yet I always feel anxious, I always self-doubt, I always put her before me every single time and I try to be the best fucking boyfriend ever and I get paid with this.
Please tell me I'm so fucking wrong, tell me this is not all there's about relationships. Shit, I can't even have sex with anyone without getting emotionally involved! Please help me guys, I'm desperate!
>>16859667
You sure are desperate, buddy. You sure are.
>>16859670
And your words of help are...? Or do you want to make things worse for me?
>>16859667
What if the problem is not only them but you? You seem to be so focused on making sure they don't leave you, that perhaps you end up being over protective and that annoys them. I don't know, I'm just speculating.
Take a look at yourself before blaming others. Let the relationship progress at its own pace, don't rush it. Don't expect her to be the one you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. You will know, after a while, if she's the one.
I'm a student, going into high school, and I have issues with procrastination and being a lazy dumbass. I need a system to keep myself on track with school studies, personal studies, and leisure stuff. Anons, what systems have worked for you (or sound solid)?
writing down what I need to do for every class and allocating tasks using a planner.
>>16859639
I already write what I need to do down, I just have issues actually doing it. I'll usually spend my time doing whatever until it's way too late.
>>16859642
you just have to sit down with no distractions and force yourself. You will never enjoy studying it, its just something we have to do.
I want to do some part time while I'm still in college to start saving, but I basically need a desk job, or something where I can sit down frequently for adequate extents of time bc my spine's off by like 5cm and standing hurts. lifting. Additionally anything that agitates the whole situation and is counter-productive to progress in straitening that shit out.
I used to work at a Rite-Aid until this last semester, and even then the 4~6 hour shifts all had me aching somewhere around hour 5, and I spent my off-days sore.
Delivery driver is the only thing that comes to mind, but that's risky business in the neighboring towns (and there are none in-town).
Is there such a thing as a part-time desk job?
I've got a High School diploma, and collectively ~2 years of experience from other, more conventional part-times.
>>16859635
Look up data entry jobs - they don't require much experience and it's usually an entry level type of job.
some of my buddies worked "security" while going to school.
it was a dispatch job where they sat at a desk relaying calls and shit.
maybe your school has something like that?
how about tutoring?
Call centre shit.
Im a NEET who wasted his entire life in front of a computer.
I have this old neighbor who is a retard when it comes to computers and i fixed his pc hundreds of times over the years, so he thinks im a fucking programmer cause i know how to install windows and shit.
It turns out his rich son in law owns a company which makes android apps, and he talked him into offering me a job cause im a "great kid and good with computers"
I talked to the guy and explained that i dont know shit about android and he gave me this huge shia lebouf like speech on how i should stop wasting time and do something with my life. He suggested that since i have all the free time in the world i should learn android development by myself and he will give me a job when i learn the basics and one of his guys will train me.
Is it actually possible to learn this stuff or is he trolling me? Like if i spent a year or two watching tutorials and shit would i be able to become an android developer? Or should i not waste my time?
>>16861577
You really should get some formal education. Creating programs is far more than just churning out code. There are lots of abstract concepts you need to understand first.
you gave this dude fair warning, and he still wants to hire you.
TAKE IT
You'd be an idiot to throw away this opportunity. Go for it, and have some motivation for once in your life. It's not like you have anything to lose.
This could be your chance to get some sweet money, good friends and even a girl. Go on an adventure, OP
Did I mess up?
I decided to try my girlfriend fetish. Her fetish is pegging and she wanted me to cross-dress while doing it, which I did and now I feel like it was a huge mistake. Now whenever I see her I keep remembering about what I did, and feel awkward about the entire thing.
Anyone been in this situation before and how did you deal with it?
>>16859603
sit down and rationally contemplate what happened.
i'm sure you'll come to this conclusion:
you dressed like a girl and got your pooper pounded. reworded: you put pieces of fabric that were shaped differently from usual on your body and had a body part that's existed from the beginning of time stimulated in a fashion that's occurred constantly since ancient greece. what's there to feel awkward about? who cares?
>>16859603
So you didn't enjoy it at all?
>>16859603
>>16859603
Talk to a VERY close friend about it. He will definitely roast the fuck out of you for it (I would laugh hysterically if I heard that my friend cross-dressed and accept that my friends would do the same thing if it was me), but he will understand why you did it and make you feel better about it too because you both know it's weird as fuck.
You gotta get this out of your head, bro. If you keep it all to yourself it'll keep on bothering you and you do the worst possible thing which is talk about it to your girlfriend.
Also, please for the love of CHRIST do not fucking sperg out and tell her that doing it makes you feel weird before talking to someone else about it first. You're going to talk too much and make her feel guilty.
Next time she says she wants to do it say no because you felt weird about it and leave it at that. Do not go into detail about it or say anything else, and she will probably (like 95% certain) come to the conclusion that it made you feel weird around her.
PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO HER ABOUT HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL FIRST. If you do that, it will make her feel really guilty (especially if you tell her you think about/are embarrassed about it each time you see her). I know I said it several times, but that's only because its really fucking important that you do everything except that because it is moronic.
Confide in a friend or someone that you can trust with your secrets and you will feel better. They are going to laugh at you, but you'll feel better and won't act weird around her anymore.
So I posted this a few days ago. I tried turned into a parking lot on my left and some dumb bitch passed me as I did it and ruined my car. There were 3 people at the scene who didn't even look at me and got mad at me because I yelled what the fuck. They all sided with the girl that hit me and they all collectively lied to the cops and say I had my right signal on and was pulling off to the right and there wasn't even enough room for me to pull off to the right there was snow and a guard rail everywhere.
The insurance won't cover it now and I have a ticket is there any way in fuck I can fix this or am I fucked because everyone lied?
>>16861410
Yes, I'm sure all of these total strangers lied to ruin your life. That's much more likely than you having made the mistake, right?
It sounds like you caused the accident, you're fucked.
>>16861410
Draw a rough diagram of this accident, I'm not quite sure what happened
Was it a two-lane road? You're saying she was driving behind you, you put on your left turn signal, and she tried to pass you on the left while you were turning?
>>16861424
No they all got mad at me for yelling and called the cops and told me they were going to be witnesses against me and they didn't see shit
Also why would I be pulling off to the right and when there's a giant parking lot on my left? I've been driving every day for 8 years and never came close to an accident
>>16861432
Yeah it was 2 lanes and I pulled halfway into the other lane to turn. As soon as I got into the left lane out of the corner of my eye j saw a truck racing by me and it completely smashed my bumper
Hi /adv/,
I'm a bi girl who's been in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. Our relationship is really fantastic, we're best friends, and I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy.
The problem comes up here: we are both each other's first for everything. First kiss, first date, first fuck. Say this relationship does magically last forever; I don't want him to feel like he's missed out by only fucking one girl. Even if he says it's totally fine and that he doesn't need it, and regardless of how true that is, I will still feel bad about it.
A threesome is the obvious solution, and I've been feeling more and more like I want to try some stuff with a woman recently, but I'm nervous. We've obviously talked about it before, and I've been staunchly against it because I know I can be very insecure and might not be able to handle it. We could do it where he watches or something, but that doesn't solve the "I feel bad that my boyfriend has only fucked one woman" problem.
How can I figure out if I'm really starting to become okay with the idea of sharing my man or if I'm just horny and wanting to touch boobs? Or alternatively, how can I make sure I become okay with the idea so we can do this and I don't have to worry about this dumb "but you will only touch one vagina and it's my fault because we are a good couple" thing anymore?
Sounds like you're projecting your insecurities on to him. He feels what he feels.
Either decide to go all in, decide to get professional help/advice, or decide to drop this. Decide what you want and do it, but whatever you decide, this is all stuff you should probably communicate with him.
Reread what you posted. It sounds like you're the one who regrets only having sex with one partner. Shit like this is why most men avoid bisexuals.
>>16859629
I've had similar conversations with him, but it has been a while. I guess I should see what he thinks of all this next time we hang out. I agree that it does stem more from my insecurities than anything he's said/implied.
>>16859650
It's really only recently I've been thinking about threesomes beyond my consideration for him/ guilt, but I suppose the amount of time I've been actually seriously wanting to fuck a woman doesn't matter. Still selfish I guess.
I should note though that a completely straight woman could have the same problem with wanting to experience another dick.
So I have been going to massage parlors recently because I have no other way of getting sex.(I was a virgin until I went to one)
Aside from funds and potential stds; is there any other reason why I should stop going to such places?
You sound like you don't like it anymore. Jail could be another reason depending where you live.
have you noticed any improvement in the rest of your life? Or is it just for the temporary sexual gratification?
I've kissed girls and drunk cuddled before (i'm a 22 year old virgin) and I definitely felt a slight self esteem boost for the next few days after, but I feel like paying for it nullifies the mental benefit.
if you're there and a sting occurs, you'll get arrested and it'll be on your record for the rest of your life.
it's up to you though. if you're soliciting sex work, i hope you're at least paying them well.
Hello, /adv/. Please give me some opinions.
I'm a lesbian and I have a nice, steady relationship with my girlfriend. I plan on marrying her/living together as soon as I finish med school.
So, today I received a happy birthday email from a guy I dated two years before meeting my gf. I was like, 14 at the time, and didn't enjoy the relationship because I had the gay. We didnt get even close to having sex, and eventually I accepted myself and broke up with him.
It's been years since we last spoke, and my gf got upset that he emailed me. I answered with a simple thank you and he replied back, asking for my phone number.
So, do you think he is pursuing me back? I kinda want to know what he is up to, because we used to be good friends, but ai'm not sure it would disrespect my gf. Should I just ignore him or give opening for us to talk?
TL;DR: ex wants to chat, my girlfriend was kinda mad. Will it be shitty of me to chat?
How would you feel if roles were reversed, i.e. your gf talking to an ex?
If an SO is uncomfortable, we always need to find out why and compromise. Maybe she's being silly jealous or maybe there's an underlying issue. Talk it out and explore.
It also depends on the ex. I wouldn't mind my husband speaking to some exes, but not others. I guess it boils down to his attachment at the time to that person.
>>16859577
protip: hes 100% certainly trying to fuck you
your gf is not out of line here, but i dont see why shed be vocally upset about it seeing as how you dont like dick
I'm applying for a job and I need two references for the application. I'm not able to get in touch with one of them before it's due. Would it be bad form if I put them down and sent them an email to let them know I've done it, instead of contacting them and asking prior to doing it?
Related question, does it look bad if you say 'no' to 'can we contact your references?'? I don't have anything to hide from this job that I'm applying for, it's more that I don't want my current employer knowing I've applied for this job.
>>16859576
>I don't have anything to hide from this job that I'm applying for, it's more that I don't want my current employer knowing I've applied for this job.
that's why "no" is an option. if it was not they would not have offered.
Wait, you have to tell your references when you put them down?
I always thought you can just put down former bosses or whatever without worrying too much.
>>16859587
You should do, in case the new employer contacts them. Otherwise, it's just rude.
48 year old guy
Married about 24 years
6 children, oldest graduated college and married, 2nd graduated college
I've failed enough to know a lot of what not to do.
Monitoring day at work, offering advice.
.
Replies may be delayed by life.
>>16860910
Self bump
>>16860910
Hi
Do you have a general method when taking a decision and wanting to make sure you did the right thing ?
I made a decision and still have doubts. What do you do in that case ?
>>16860964
Depends.
Is it a decision that will affect my entire family or me for a long period of time? Then I weigh the various options and even use concepts like the Doctrine of Double Effect.
If it isn't that serious, I make my decision and move on.
![Low-Back-Pain-BLUE_02[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/JdJr2MG.jpg "Low-Back-Pain-BLUE 02[1]")
