Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1481. page
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The man I love is has been dating a cute, waifish, blonde 18 year old *~*GaMeRgUrL*~* for the past few months whose main interests in life are CoD, peppermint schnapps and weed.
He and I are both in our late 20s and have been friends for almost a decade. In the past, we've had intense mutual feelings for each other, but they never panned out into a relationship to not being single at the same time and stupid, shitty behavior on both of our parts at various times when we were younger (one example: he felt I was flirting with one our close friends who happened to have strong feelings for me, so he got drunk and fucked a dumb cunt we both claimed to despise in my own house, and then I proceeded to date our friend partially because I felt heartbroken/lost and partially just to get back at him).
I know I'm his ideal physical type (brunette, fit, big ass) since he's told me as much, and our personalities mesh. We know each other's short-comings, mistakes and weaknesses, but we also know the best of each other. We push each other to try and be better people, and we have so much fun. We laugh so much every time we're together and just talk and joke for hours. He truly makes me happy, and it's no secret that we love each other "as friends" to those who know us. When we're alone, there is so much sexual tension barely being tempered by restraint. I haven't let myself be alone with him in a long time.
I don't begrudge him for wanting to be with a young girl who thinks he's "soooo, like, amazing, and, like, soooo hot." She's dumb and sweet, and actually adores me as something like a cool, older sister. I know with 0% input from me, this relationship will eventually fizzle out.
When it does, should I let him know that I think now is the time to try to make it work? Or am I deluding myself because I'm growing older? It never worked out in the past ... maybe we have too much history and have missed our chance already.
Maybe he's taken by a better mate. 2c
Very hard to say. In a lot of ways been there done that could apply, on the other why not just be straight up and, acknowledge the history and tell him you want to give it a real sincere shot instead of wondering about it.
Men don't really work like your last sentence. If you're attractive, you'll always be attractive. That's why the "friend zone" exists in some capacity. We thought you were attractive so we tried to get with you in some way. And some men just accept being friends.
Now the real question is if you even be attracted to him if he didn't have a gf right now? A -want what you can't have- situation.
Ultimately I think you can hold his torch and try to pick it up later when they break up or whatever, if that's what you want. But surely there are other guys you could see in the meantime. Do you really wanna be stuck with a gamer guy who smokes weed and is attracted to teenagers, into your 30s?
When something good is about to happen, I'm afraid that something bad might happen which will result in that good event not happening.
What do you call this fear?
>pass exams well
>accepted into X
>afraid that something shitty will happen (I don't even know what) that will result in me not getting into X, even though I know there's no reason for it to happen
>>16858572
Anxiety.
Really what it boils down to is fear of the unknown. Sort of like a fear of the dark.
But rational adults aren't afraid of the dark. Because monsters don't exist.
Likewise, the things you fear don't exist. Never fear the unknown.
Is it just me or are almost all relationships one sided? Back with my other gfs I didn't give a fuck and I wouldn't text them all the time and would leave them over dumb shit and they loved me and never gave up and did anything for me. I got a gf I really like and I always message her 24/7 and never try to leave her and put up with all her shit and she just treats me like shit sometimes and acts like she doesn't even want me that bad.
Is there a way to turn it around? I turned it around one time and left her and got her to be fuck buddies but I keep falling in love with her and it's annoying. How do I make our relationship more even?
You most likely can't. It's not anyone's fault. If that's the way she is, then that's how she is. Maybe in 5 years she may settle down but still ultimately that is up to her.
You need to treat all women the same, like your previous gfs. Otherwise you get situations like this. Now, you are texting her way too much. You are basically saying "im needy and insecure please validate me with a response". You are acting like a woman, dont put up with womens shit. They do it to see if you are a real man. If you immediatly give in you show that she can push you around, and if she can push you around how does she know you will stand up for her and defend ger when the time comes.
Wow, teach me master. All my attempts at relationships were from my side.
Weź dla mnie ten plakat
>>16858545
biorę przyjacielu
>>16858545
Też wezmę :^)
później
In Germany it's common for people to get their driving licenses at 18 because everybody is yearning for their own car. However, I didn't get mine because it wasn't too important to me and my whole family kept saying that I couldn't afford it.
Now at 22 I decided to finally learn how to drive. However, now I am haing nothing but problems and I am thinking of quitting driving school for now.
>take theoretical classes in March 2015
>pass theoretical exam in May with 0 errors! Yay!
>take two driving classes
>driving teacher gets pregnant and can't teach me driving anymore
>sucks, but apparently new teacher will reach out to me soon
>teacher doesn't call me, I forget because I was busy with college and my mandatory summer internship
>internship is over, I call driving school
>"Oh yes, the new teacher will call you to schedule driving lessons!"
>nothing happens
>repeat above two steps until December 2015. Emphasize how I really need to get my fucking driving lessons soon
>new teacher does two lessons with me
>he's shit. Never calls back for new appointments, smokes in the car, yells at me, insults me, etc.
>I change driving schools
>new teacher at new school is great! Very patient, I drive safely and comfortably!
>Bad news. New teacher has too many students, can't give me appropriate time for regular lessons.
>New new teacher is appointed to me
>New new teacher is shit, he screams at students (not only me!) for the weirdest reasons
>total: 10 lessons with 4 different driving teachers.
So yeah, I am really pissed with this whole situation. You only get one year after the theoretical exam in Germany, otherwise your test results and the lessons you took "expire". However, I am also sick and tired of this bullshit with the driving lessons. I don't want to get a new teacher AGAIN.
However, having to waste the time and money I already invested would suck as well. So I am not sure what to do /adv/.
just keep going. i know i sucks but its a stumbling blocks after you pass will be funny in your rearview mirror.
you wont have to ask other people for rides or rely on public transport or bicycles after that.
just keep focussing on all the positives after you pass, been where you were and come through the other side. if the worst comes to the worst get a licence in another country then get it transferred to a german one.
this pedal makes car go
the other pedal makes car stop
show me again mommy
no, that's enough for today, you don't want to strain yourself
So I'm semi determined to kill myself.
Will a .38 special be effective to the side of the head
>>16858505
The caliber is adequate, but through the roof of the mouth would be better, hypothetically.
But don't kill yourself, OP.
That might be a good question to ask you local crisis line.
Please hang in there and seek help.
Every life is important. Just sometimes we can't see through our own fog.
Prayers friend...
Bad advice from other poster...
Please seek help.
Help me /adv/. I have some issues with a girl right now. But first, some backstory
3 years ago.
Have gf, this other i know girl is into me. Due to common friends we also went to a movie. It was the first time we met. I recognize her eyes started to sparkle as we talked. Had a gf at the time so i didn't care, and was really surprised a girl could manifest such interest into me. An almost intimidating interest.
2 years ago.
Second encounter was at a skating ring, again due to common friends. She made her moves on me waiting for a reply. I obviously dont respond to her advances because i was in a relationship. She keeps insisting. Starts pushing for me holding her hand as we skate. Later the night, almost kissed me when i escourted her to the tram station. Still, keep in touch, because i think she's a nice and interesting person.
1 year ago
I buy a buss ticket home. I had a fight with my then gf, were close to break up so i went to have a talk to her. I accidentally stumble onto her on the bus. An awkward coincidence, she had her seat right next to mine. She gets flirty in the bus and sleeps in my laps during that night. Gently putting her hand on my right leg and slowly working upwards. Didn't touch my dick tho. After we arrive in the morning, i escourt her to the closest common point before we parted. She then pushed me to herself and kissed me. I was pissed that my gf wanted to break up with me, so i kissed her back. It was the hottest kiss i ever had too.
Couple of months later I break up with gf b/c of reasons. But now that girl is with another guy. We talked ever since, and she told me she's still into me. Attempt nothing, because i don't wanna be a jerk and break up someone's relationship. Still make joking naughty remarks while messaging her on fb tho. She seems to like to engage into that sort of thing.
After a while suddenly blocks any messages received from me. I think that i crossed the line and made her upset because she thinks i want to cause her trouble. I ask, and she tells me that she doesn't want him to know of me (that he's not familiar with any of her friends, and she selectively introduces them to him, in order for him not to interpret things in a sexual way), and that it's best we talk on phone. I tell her to tell me if i ever cross the line. Don't want to make her bf jealous and such. She insists we talk secretly on the phone. I don't call her that often either ways because i'm busy most of the working days
3 weeks ago
>Calls me. Asks me how am i/ how are things etc. Still tells me of her bf situation and that she doesn't want him to find about me. Unblocks my fb messages again.
Today
>Try messaging her.
>Sees message, blocks my messages again. Later today blocks my phone number.
And now i checked again, I texted her, received confirmation that the message reached her, but i'm not sure if someone can send messages while having their number blocked. So i think she unblocked my phone number, but kept blocking my fb messages.
I didn't even interacted with her so many times for all these 3 years as i've known her. But each time i get to reach her, just to talk as regular friends, she tells me she's "very busy" and sometimes doesn't have time to message or call back.
Basically, what the fuck is going on with her /int/?
I talked about this with a m8t of mine at an afternoon walk, trying to figure out what the fuck is she up to. She's basically the only girl that led me into a complete mistery as to why she acts the way she does.
Usually i can predict girl behavior, but this one is really hard to figure out. So what gives /adv/, why is she acting the way she does now?
Also, forgot to add. I'm interested into her now because she's obviously open to strictly some sexual stuff, and she has a nice ass. But i'm confused as to either forget about her completely because of her contradictory behavior, and jump to conclusions that she's using me like b8t, or keep pursuing the idea of having sex with her, while trying to figure out the puzzle she's laying out for me
But right now i'm really confused as what she thinks at all of me. Am i just a plan B, or just a simple friend?
And another interesting side story to the whole sharade: I met with her best female friend for some business related issues 3 weeks back. It went well. It didn't strike me at all that both their characters were somewhat similar, them being best friends and all. But, she didn't tell me later that day she'd meet with my crush. I didn't even assume it. And then that night she called and told me she saw me as she met with her bff. But why didn't she just come by and say hello? Why did she just ignore me, but then call me later?
I'm honestly confused here /adv/, any analysis/opinions would help a lot.
Keen on taking a gram of coke and MDMA on my preseason football trip next weekend. I live in London.
What do you reckon security will be like from Stansted to Belfast? Figure I could probably put it in my large luggage somewhere hidden in a crevasse somewhere.
Probably won't do it because I could get fucked up the ass by the long reaching arm of the law, but maybe the security between these two airports isn't huge.
A gram of MDMA? Are you retarded? If not, you're going to be.
Have you used MDMA before? I never take more than 120mg, and it's more than enough. I also take all the right supplements, and give myself at least 3 months in between rolls so I don't fuck up my brain.
>>16858507
Good point, however my question was more in regards to transporting it between countries. I'm well versed in drug use. If I took a gram it would be to share with friends.
>>16858494
start watching shows like border security. it wont get through the airport and if you have drugs on you? neither will you.
My boyfriend used to be such a kind, caring, considerate person, but more and more hes becoming less concious of other people's feeling and more selfish. I don't know what to do at all, he used to be such a progressive guy but has changed so much its making me feel nervous. What do I do? I have tried talking to him and he says I'm just being paranoid, or that hes learning about things that have changed his views, but his new views are toxic... How do I get my boyfriend back.
>>16858493
Men change more dramatically than women do in shorter amounts of time. Time to move on, op.
Also, love Imrijka.
I don't think it works like that... We are all just a mirror of the world around us... Maybe its not his fault but the fault of his surroundings...
See life through his eyes and tell me you don't feel toxic... Or jaded...
Hey /adv/ I am cutting my "depression hair' and I need help choosing a new style. Post pics of trendy cuts for blond men that would look good on me.
Pic related: me (prior to weight loss)
long hair looks good on you m8
Looks like u need more than one hair cut m8. Just one hair won't help u.
>>16858939
dammit dad
Good evening everyone!
I kinda have a little problem and I'd like to see if anyone could help me. I'm a 18 y/o Scot living in Germany and graduating from a German school in a few months. Here lies my problem. I don't know what I want to do, I'd like to study but I don't know what. Im a little over the average student. I have been thinking about many different options. One would be studying Economic Sciences, but I have the feeling that will end in a dead end office job, doing the same boring thing day after day. Another thing Ive though about is studying something thats a mixture of IT and economics, but it's the same here, chances are to end up with a dead end job. I've also though about studying chemistry because I find it very interesting but the problem with doing that is, I'll HAVE to do a PHD or else I wont be worth a thing later on, and another problem is that Ive read a few forum posts about people not having any spare time when they study chemistry nor do they have time to work to earn money. This would be a problem because Im planning on moving out too (still in my hometown though). Im wanting to move out with a friend, we both have part time jobs and can afford rent and stuff. But do you guys think its smart to move out while studying? Just to be more free and not being bound by parents decisions?
And my final question now refers to the starting problem of not knowing what to study or to do, how did you manage to decide on what you were wanting to do for the next few years/ the rest of your life and could you recommend anything that wouldnt end up in an extremely repetetive job doing the same thing day in day out?
Thanks for any response! :)
sad self bump :D
one last time :<
i think you're not getting any responses because most people who come to 4chan are americans and as you probably know germany and usa have really different societies
Where does a thread about conversing the finer points of cannibis growing go?
I mean, does it go in animals and nature or into random or wtf
Help a ninja out lol
>>16858463
/r/microgrowery
What are some real arguments against suicide that aren't religious or "you're family will miss you"?
>>16858439
Suiciders make the wrong comparisons and forget life's starting point and how much it took us to get here.
We assign value to things by comparison.
"My life sucks because I see some other people's lives and they way better off."
Why don't on consider comparing to people from the past?
For example, I have a STEM background and I recognize the mathematical geniuses as best of what
makind has.
Gauss, Euler, Newton etc deserved all happiness in the world. Yet my life is much better than theirs, or that of any person tht lived in their times (their king, for example).
I have access to much better food (food in their times SUCKED HARD, they had low variety of it and spices were so damn expensive), I got access to automobiles, clean water at the temperature I want, protection from most illnesses (this is very important), labor rights, internet, movies, music, chocolat, much better women that they had (and smelling way better) etc. God damn, not even toiled paper they had. I also got more free times to spend with my friends, a justice system that is much fairer(and less terrifying, look at their death penalties) than theirs..
Human condition is constantly improving.
Life starts without invitation.The first microorganisms didn't choose to come into existence. Or the animals that came thereafter. In nature, life is immense suffering. Animals are afraid of dying every single day and don't know if they will get any food or water on that day. They are easy targets for predators, parasites and other natural enemies.
Thanks to few exceptionally hardworking geniuses in our history, technology freed us from this hell.
>>16858633
Even if you take just your heritage - think about it. Your grand-gran-grand... father was cavemen with no shelter, no health care, not easy access to water etc.. Imagine his face if he saw you with all this comfort thinking about killing yourself?
Many of your acestors died of trivial diseases, eaten alive by predators or parasites etc.. for their standards, which is 99% of human history, you live in paradise. Now you want to throw that in the garbage because even though you're part of the 1%, you're still jealous of the 0,01%.
Even if you can't find a girlfriend, or a job as good as you want etc.. there are still many good things in life. Appreciate good food, watch good movies, listen to good music.. cheer up on every single pleasure that mankind spend a long time in suffering to offer you. When you envy the top 0,001% don't forget you're in the top 1%.
>>16858439
People's moods, attitudes and world view change constantly. Young people especially aren't really mentally mature till their mid 20s.
Ultimately, the world you see is an image of the real world built by your mind. No two people see anything the same way. Where you see no chance, another person just like you may see a path as clear as day.
Suicide is a permanent solution to what is almost certainly temporary problem.
Has anyone here managed fast food? A manager I'm bros with is most likely leaving after he gets his nurse certification, and it seems like he's training me and building me up to take his place. I know it fucks with your schedule but I'm an 18yo broke-ass college student that needs the money and wouldn't be against the management job experience.
>>16858422
Just like fast food and the food industry in general, it's a pain, but being a manager for a few years is nice on your resume, and it's a helluva lot better than what most people your age are doing.
Is it rude/creepy/odd to leave a note with your number with the check for a waitress at a restaurant?
Rude? No. Creepy? Maybe, if you acted like a spaz or weirdo during service. Odd? Not really, they get it a lot.
Go for it. You've got nothing to lose.
Leaving the number itself is D) none of the above. However it's rude if you've been making her uncomfortable the whole time while getting no clear sign of her interest in return. It's creepy if she in fact gave you a clear sign of being UN-interested but you left your number anyway. It's odd if you didn't say or do anything flirtatious but thought she should somehow still consider calling you anyway.
>>16858424
Its their fucking job to act interested.
You're paying them for their attention and then giving them your number? I'm used to the general autism around here but this is ridiculous.
