Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1437. page
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I've had crushes on guys before but it's always been friends or acquaintances, not the guys I go on dates with.
I got tired of being alone and started online dating, but I've never been able to develop feelings for any of these guys. How do you artificially create a crush?
>>16878710
are you a huge slut? if you gave it away too many times you might have lost the ability to develop real relationships
>>16878712
No I have sex maybe a few times a year, and I still have the ability to develop crushes/feelings for guys, just not the ones I date
>>16878714
so why arent you dating the guys you have crushes on instead of randos online?
if they're in a relationship you might just be the kind of girl who can only want something you cant have
>parents are both an alcohol
>sexually abused as a child
>told older friend that I was sexually abused
>got abused by him afterwards
>all my childhood friends turned away from me because parents thought that I was shady
>never judged anybody
>always been nice to everybody
>still got treated like shit by everyone everywhere I...
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>>16878662
What are your stories /adv/?
How do you people deal with being an abnormality?
Do you think that most of the people are incapable of love?
I hope you find long term happiness anon, you seem like a good person that has problems judging character and holding to tight to people.
Good luck, I think you will be a happy person soon and you will find someone who understands you.
Try to finish uni as soon as possible,
>>16878680
Thank you very much anon.
But I really hate to judge, because I don't believe that people are bad.
I can sense and point out bad character traits if necessary, but I consider them symptoms of their own suffering.
My goal is to show people that despite the fact that they have to walk their own path, thei dont necessarily have to feel lonely along the way.
Everybody seeks happiness and love, hatred, betrayal and fear are only results of denying those needs.
>make a tinder profile
>set location to my town (big european capital)
>litterally 0 matches per day or ugly as fuck girls that have high standards
>change location to korean / japan
>tons of matches with qts who are down to fuck
what the fuck ? is Asia easy mode for a white guy?
also how do you get more matches on tinder?
>>16878580
well yeah? duh? are you fucking kidding me you dont know about how hungry asians are for white dick? and they dont see ugliness in white men
>>16878580
yeah they all love the BWC
>>16878580
Yeah asia is easy mode if you are white.
Question to those who had dated psycho women
Lets say i want to get together with a girl with borderline personality disorder, but i just want to white knight her and put her on the pedestal and make her feel that im absolutely devoted to her, but the truth is im doing it all to compensate for my own ego.
How will the relationship work out?
Female wojak to atteact female posters too
Badly.
Borderline female answers also appreciated
>>16878350
I read that on forums on leddit and bpdfamily. ThE husband or boyfriend loses his self esteem and feels he isnt good enough anymore.
But im intrigued but something like this, how someone could utterly annihilate you to the point of becoming a shell of your former self.
I also read theyre master manipulators, as another person n the internet put it, bpd is the female version of the dark triads
I go into this with this intention. I want to see what its like, i will play the cuck, ill accept it,...
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What if I'm non-gender specific? Who do I ask then, shitlord?
>>16878126
Do you have 3 chromosomes?
how do I become a sexy lady?
Mostly need help figuring out how to deal with this mess.
>My sister is keeping a friend's cat at our house for a few months.
>She's mentioned several times that her friend was paying her to keep the cat here.
>She never seems to be here to actually take care of said cat.
>The cat is really destructive (broken lamps, pots, a hamster cage WITH the hampers in it, ect.)
>Parents pay for the food and the litter....
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lol im a nice guy how come girls dont like me xD
why do i get the feeling you care more about the house than your parents and your sister. do they even know she gets money from her friend?
>>16877851
???
I live with my mother 50% of the time. My parents are divorced and both remarried, witch has never bothered me, but my mother continuously hits me an hurts me even 30 minutes after a fight, her and her husband show no care or respect towards me. We get in physical fights slot, and I'm not proud of it. I have tried being kinder to them but it never works, and they come up with arbitrary nicknames to call me EX: lanegina, or retard, or gay. But I am recently more fed up than usual, and have been having suicidal thoughts and actions. It isn't much better at school either.
...
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I honestly would like some advice, I don't know what to do
>>16877746
Are there any free counselors in your school you can see? Your mother is being abusive, and you should prioritize getting away from her. These are serious warning signs, not simply "issues." You need to take steps to protect yourself from your toxic home environment. It will get better, OP, and possibly soon, but you need to reach out to a helpline for domestic abuse and/or school/community counseling services ASAP.
I have gone to a counselor at my school, but my mother made me sound like I knew nothing, and in turn I was getting laughed at by the counselor
Everytime i see/hear mention of happy couples i get super bummed out. What do i do?
>>16877606
bumparooni
>>16877666
Make a gf out of cardboard?
>>16877679
i want a legit solution, im trying to be less of a fatty, but its gonna take time before i can be less fat. Do i just need to will my way through it?
Does ethnicity play a role in attracting women? Pic related is me and I have no gf and I've been getting rejected lately. Can't even get numbers. My personality isn't shit because people who know me say I'm nice.
>I'm nice.
Nice guys are the cancer of the single community. Don't be a "nice guy."
>>16877577
There is a difference between someone who is genuinely kind and the 'psychopathic nice guy' who thinks girls owe him sex because he bought them flowers.
>>16877574
>smartphone
>shit quality pic
You got cerebral palsy bro. Girls don't want to date someone with a disorder. It's kinda shallow but hey that's how it is sometimes.
What the fuck is confidence /adv/? I am positive I don't have any fucking confidence and I don't know how to get it.
I am 25 and dreadfully aware of situations. To me.. confidence is just blind belief in luck. You have NO IDEA what that woman will say to you if you just walk up and talk to her BUT you probably have a good idea of what she might say based on maybe your looks, what you have, what you can do etc.
How is it that people can even have high confidence with how unpredictable humans are? Like that girl could verbally maim you for you talking to her or she could be receptive.
ITS A FUCKING GAMBLE! Gambles to me are never good. EVER. Sure you could cash out but on the flip side, you could LOSE.
Help me understand confidence and what it is. It seems like the only confident people are people who aren't self aware, or don't give a fuck OR are sociopaths or are psychopaths. I have not met one sane CONFIDENT person ever. I can HONESTLY say that.
I don't know anyone who is confident AND sane. Help me understand. What the fuck is confidence and how do I get it>?
>>16877567
Confidence can take many different forms, but when you have it, you know it.
>Confidence is knowing that you can walk into any new experience or initially uncomfortable experience and become comfortable with it through earning and preparation.
>Confidence is knowing that personal insults by people shouldn't be taken to heart unless there is some meaning and substance behind them.
>Confidence is being able to speak up when you don't understand something as much as you want, even if people will think that you are stupid.
>Confidence is knowing that women will want you for what you can provide for them and what you can do to enrich their life.
>Confidence is being able to emphasize with people and act in a way you know is appropriate around them because of your experience.
>Confidence is knowing that you don't know everything, but knowing that you have the skills that you can learn what you want to.
>Confidence is being willing to take risks that will undoubtedly improve your situtation or enrich your life if it plays out the way you want it to.
>Confidence is accepting and being aware of your own limitations and working around them.
>Confidence is accepting and being comfortable with who you are, and not wishing to be someone else.
>Confidence js the willingness to take your own path, regardless of what people tell you.
>Confidence is the willingness to be open-minded to learning new things, and finding value in everything you do.
>Confidence is being willing to discover what you want to become based on your experiences.
>Confidence is not taking your mistakes to heart, and acting on gut feelings and reason rather than insecurities and doubts.
>Confidence is self-satisfaction, independence, and anticipation for the future.
>>16877567
If - Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts...
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>>16877567
mm yes, it's like a gamble alright. but hey u are never gonna win if u never play.
Wife pretty much refuses to help out at all around the house. She has no job and won't look, and does no cleaning. She has depression and I get that, but I feel like I've been patient enough and have only been rewarded with having to work full-time and then come home to clean up after someone who is messy and not cleaning up after themselves. The most she'll do is take out the trash occasionally, if I harass her into doing it. At that point, it would be less effort to take the 5 minutes myself, so she's not really contributing at all. She's very stubborn,...
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>She has depression
Just an excuse to be a NEET. What next?
Give her the boot
>>16877524
She has a diagnosis and takes meds. But I feel like she's also using it as an excuse, particularly when I try to make her help. I consider myself understanding, but having depression doesn't mean that you get free rent and a maid.
Either way, my main question is what I should do for the next couple days since I'm not at work, so I'm not gone most of the day.
>>16877534
>>16877534
How long has this been going on?
my girlfriend always gets mad at me for some little shit. im 20 and have been with this girl for 2 1/2 years. im usually not on my phone a lot, and at times I could take upwards of 30 minutes to reply, but the second I realize she texted me I keep my phone on me
But sometimes I'll walk out of my room, or put my phone in my pocket and honestly not see that she texted me.
She wants me to just tell her when I'm busy, and when I remember I do. But sometimes I honest to god just do not see that she texted me. I mean I always tell her when I'm driving...
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>>16877226
don't let her control you or influence you by any cost. you'll think this is the right path, by giving her what she wants, but it is not. she will see you as a baby or a tool and you will eventually be replaced.
most are manipulative and possessive, don't let them and you'll be fine.
> "I can't do this anymore anon you don't respect my feelings"
"Well if you can't handle it, we should break up"
This is stupid high school shit, DTMFA and move on
she sounds really controlling, holy shit. you don't need to text her every minute of the day. next time she tells you that she can't take it anymore, call her on it. unless she has some trauma that makes her freak out about it, then there's no reason for her to be manipulative like that.
I go to swinger parties and orgies various friends throw. For the most part the people who show up are unattractive, I usually get drunk so the girls look sorts fuckable. Is this a normal thing for singer parties and orgies? I only saw one attractive girl but she was only cute in the face, she was fat as fuck.
>>16877221
Yes.
If people go to weird sex things, it means they aren't satisfied at home.
Pretty people are always satisfied because they can get anyone they want.
Ergo, only ugly people need to make up for it
>>16877221
Yeah that's normal. There is a pretty interesting study that found a correlation between attractiveness and less sexual partners. It may sound surprising, but when you think about it, it makes sense. They can afford to be more picky and lock down a good partner.
>>16877221
attractive people tend to feel more concerned about their self image. ergo being a slut at these things would be too degrading and beneath them, and not in a fun way.
on top of that, the few attractive ones that do go tend to get mauled by uggos, cuz they are the only ones there.
the issue is that its really hard to get a 'hotties only' party together, especially iwth attraction being so subjective. im arguably the third most attractive guy at a 5 way gangbang i had, but the chick claimed...
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My gf locked my cat in the bedroom for 8 hours and when I confronted her about it all she had to say was "my bad."
What do I do
>>16877207
Your girlfriend sounds like an inconsiderate, irresponsible person. That's kind of fucked up. What if she did that to your kids instead of your cat?
>>16877207
dump her. your cat deserves to be treated better
Dump ur cat faggot.
I'm an amateur beekeeper. I keep bees in my backyard so I can harvest their honey. I love honey, it has a lot of practical purpose on top of being delicious. It takes the bees quite a long time to finish the honey so I don't appreciate it when it's taken. They do make a fair bit though, I usually sell my leftovers to people I know who want honey. Lately I've noticed several jars of my honey going missing. My girlfriend is the only person that's ever at my house so she is obviously the only suspect.
I confronted her about this. She admitted she had been taking my honey and giving it to her friends and family, for free, and without my permission. I told her this was unacceptable, I didn't give her permission to take any honey and she completely broke my trust. I said she's not allowed near my storage closet anymore and she's not allowed to stay at my house when I'm not here.
She thinks I'm being unfair but she stole from me, I don't think that's a small offense. I trusted her around my belongings and she took some. Am I being unfair? It's not like I wouldn't have given them honey if they wanted some but she went behind my back and she gave away my honey jars on top of it, those things are pricey.
Better than stealing your bees, right?
I don't know whether this is real or not, but congratulations on submitting my favorite problem I've seen on here, well, ever.
Maybe it was a bit much to ban her from your house, but you obviously need to talk to her about touching your shit.
>>16885872
>she's stealing from you
>thinks being punished is unfair
You're in the right OP.
