Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1270. page
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I've been told by a psychologist that I am "twice exceptional," meaning I am gifted in intelligence but have several learning disabilities so it is hard for me to use my intelligence.
Anyone know what I'm talking about? What has your experience been like?
>>16925356
How old u senpai?
I was called an asspie in grade school but I was smart enough to fake being a normie really fast. Now I actually have empathy and inflection in my speech and shit.
If you're as smart as you say, just keep on trucking. You don't get close to peak smarts till like late 20s.
Idk people always told me that I was smart but just didn't put in the effort. Perhaps it was true. I always got bad grades but I tested well. Also was diagnosed with ADD at one point.
>>16925375
I'm 25 and I was evaluated when I was 20. I did okay in high school without any accommodations and now I have just an AAS. I kind of fucked up after high school as did many of my male friends.
Goddammit am I frustrated and confused. I really love life, but I'm fucking lonely and lost. I have one great friend, but he's far away and not enough. I want more intimate human contact, but I feel like too much of a weird person to take the necessary steps. See, I spend so much time alone that I've grown a little out of touch, socially. I don't think I'm autistic or anything; in fact, I think my emotional intelligence is pretty strong, and lots of people that I've known closely, whether my few past friends, or teachers, or coworkers, have described me as some combination of kind or smart or interesting or funny (sometimes remarkably so). But at 24, I've never had a girlfriend, I don't make any new friends, and I don't go out at night. I can count the number of parties I've been to on one hand. I simply don't connect with many people.
What's the deal?
Yeah, maybe I have some of the garden-variety millenial mental illnesses--mild depression, social anxiety, general anxiety, etc. (I'm certainly an introvert, not that it's an illness), and I've considered (at a former teacher's suggestion) getting medical help. But I know there are crazier people out there functioning better, and I feel like I should try changing my life circumstances before resorting to medication.
Maybe I just really need to get laid? Maybe I just need healthier habits (diet, sleep, exercise, etc.)? Maybe I need to find artistic outlets? (I have talents but can't find ways to exercise them). Maybe I need to find a more fulfilling vocation? I've tried doing these things with varying success.
cont.
pt. 2/2
My one source of pride is that I recently moved out of my parents' and into a new city in a new state to start a new career (US merchant marine) that is very challenging but that I've done pretty well in. It took a lot of planning and determination (I had no connections or experience), but I did it and it's worked out. I work a rotating 4 week on 2 week off schedule that I hope to use more for travelling in the months ahead. Of course, having this unusual schedule doesn't help with my isolation, and I plan on probably trying a new career in the next year or two, but at least I have something cool to talk about with people.
Anyway, if you're still reading my blog post, thank you. I'd love some honest feedback and am ready to answer questions if there are any. I'd love to know if any of you can relate to my issues and what related advice you might have.
I feel like I could have a really great, interesting, meaningful life, but things just haven't clicked, and I'm afraid that if I don't deal with my loneliness soon (assuming it isn't already to late), I'll never overcome it.
>>16925341
stop being you and be a normie like everyone else. you'll have friends and gf but you'll hate them the moment you think about it enough.
but seriously, it's hard to find people on your wavelength if you're a bit odd. personally i just enjoy being alone and on the off chance i find some good company then it's all good. got some decent friends, 6 of them. then maybe 20 or so "friends" that i could have fun with at any time. personally i'd rather have more of the former. but really, these are broad categories. the fact is you'll have different dimensions of friendship with different people. you might be expecting too many people to have a lot in common with you. that's when you have to adjust. you won't be as close with them as you would be than with people you could be yourself with, but it'll get you parties and some company.
your biggest problem is that you can't handle being alone. you've got to make that sturdy base, then you can make friends comfortably and fuck whoever. enjoy being you, really.
>>16925416
Thanks man, and good to hear from you.
I strongly agree about being comfortable with solitude. Maybe my post was misleading, but I *am* comfortable with being alone. Most of my hobbies (reading, walking, biking, cooking, gaming) are solitary, and I really like them. I'm perfectly content spending a day by myself.
But I *do* think I would benefit from having some more friends. It's just that, as you may know, not having friends can make it hard to make friends. I'm trying to break out of that cycle, but it's hard, and I wonder if these other issues in my life are to blame. (Maybe I'm just a huge pussy afraid to make himself vulnerable).
I have 4 hours (plus maybe about 20-30 minutes if I'm lucky) to write a huge essay on some shit I know nothing about, you are the hero I need 4chan.
>>16925305
It's be helpful if you said what the essay is supposed to be about
>>16925315
The Jamaican boa constrictor (its habitat, needs, life choices, thoughts on chocolate milk, etc.)
What's this shit about, anon? We will write the essay for you, paragraph by fucking paragraph, and it shall be the greatest essay ever shitted out by the Internet.
I will preface this by saying I'm in my university's pep band. Say what you want, but it's really fun and has a lot of perks. Anyway
I met this band girl on a trip(we travel for tournaments), and we had pretty good chemistry (I could see her laugh, always a plus), but I was half in half out on being attracted to her. Not gonna lie, and this is pretty shallow I know, but she was fat and I feel like that was the main reason I was on the fence. I've been thinking about her a lot, like, I would want someone to want me for my personality so am I not totally hypocritical for thinking this way? Plus, I've been thinking about how what I'm doing doesn't make any goddamned sense other than that I tend to stick with the plan I've made. I plan on chatting up this girl in my fencing class because I like her looks and she has a good demeanor, but I don't really *know* her at all. Yet I deny this person I *do* know (somewhat). I'm having a conflict of logic and instinct, I guess. I feel like I would have some shame even though I am not unattracted to her. My friends are pretty real with me, and I feel like if asked them they would say that I could do better (or even say it unsolicited because a lot of them have no shame). I feel like, I could 100% make it happen if I tried for it, and that the relationship would be really rewarding if I did, but should I?
>>16925212
*make instead of see.
Your college relationships probably won't be what lands you in a perfect marriage. I would try with both girls. Seriously. Don't just try and have sex with every girl you meet, but don't be afraid to hang out with multiple girls at a time and get to know what is out there.
>>16925212
>I will preface this by saying I'm in my university's pep band. Say what you want, but it's really fun and has a lot of perks
sounds like fun, no judgment here brochacho.
>I feel like, I could 100% make it happen if I tried for it, and that the relationship would be really rewarding if I did, but should I?
Listen, man, you can calculate the reasons why a relationship would or wouldn't work as much as you want but the fact is you aren't attracted to her.
Do you FEEL it with this "fat" girl? Does she give you goosebumps? Can you not wait to see her? Do you feel any electricity between you two when you talk?
If the answer is no then you have no business getting involved with this girl. Even if you convinced yourself to start seeing her you and I both know that you can't have a long term relationship with someone you're only "kind of" attracted to.
Eventually you'd break her heart, you know that.
Stop thinking about what makes sense and stick with your gut. If you're not feeling it, don't force it man, even if it looks good on paper.
So today after eating, my wife's alarm for birth control went off. Her and I have our phones schedule to ring at 9 pm everyday. When the alarm went off she was playing with our dog taking pics with him on snapchat. I told her to take the birth control once she was done. I then went to do the dishes. We laid down to watch a movie but I knew that she might of forgotten her birth control because she just kept on playing with the dog. I told her " did you forget anything" she just went silent for like 5 minutes and then went to take it. I got furious and decided to just turn off the TV and go to sleep. It is 4 am now and it is still fucking bothering me how irresponsible she is with this type of stuff
It is not the first time either. A week ago her birth control was about to run out. I reminded her 4 days in a row to go to the pharmacy and get the new batch which was ready to be picked up. But guess what? Her alarm went off the day she was supposed to start the new one and to my disbelief she hadn't gone picked it up. I got really pissed off at her and started calling her a little girl that needs me to hold her hand ect.... she got pretty upset at my words but I apologized because I realized I kinda went too far. It really pissed me off though because she didn't have work or school those 4 days and she still didn't get that done, the day she was supposed to start her new batch I reminded her in the morning to go pick it up but she just stayed inside all day watching Disney stuff.
So reddit, am I being an asshole? Or do I just need to handle my situation better? How do I stop looking after my wife so much? I feel like since I am always on top of her things she doesn't learn from her mistakes.
Tl;dr: wife is forgetful and I am growing very resentful from her fuck ups. How do I deal? Should I back off?
We are in our 20's
>>16925171
Make her change birth control method, if she's THIS forgetful.
IUD would need to be changed once every three/five years.
I am VERY forgetful and I never took the pill because of it.
>So reddit, am I being an asshole? Or do I just need to handle my situation better?
Yeah, regardless of whether you have justification to you be annoyed (which, I think you do to a degree, but not at all to the degree you're exhibiting, and you also married to chick and knew all that going in), the truth is you're kind of being a patronizing asshole.
Even your tone in this post screams condescension--you're not talking to your daughter (even if you were, that's fucking horrible) you're talking to your wife dude. Treating her like a child won't get you anywhere.
My advice, get her to get an Implant. Basically the same thing as the pill, but she doesn't at all have to pay attention to it--except once every 3-4 years when she needs to replace it.
>>16925189
Her gyno told her that if we had rough sex it could fuck up her insides or go out of place and that to replace it is on us.
>bitch at bf when drunk
>apologize and quit drinking for 3 months
>find 100 bill on the ground 2 weeks ago
>hell yea
>take my sister to restaurant
>order one mix drink and one drink only
>low tolerance gets me tipsy instantly
>happiest I have felt in 3 months
>felt like fucking freedom
>haven't smiled that much since I quit
I'd like to drink more to feel that again but haven't since the bar, and I can definitely go without drinking the rest of my life if I wanted to. But I know I won't be as happy.
Can you be an alcoholic if you're not actually addicted to alcohol?
>>16925085
>Low tolerance gets me tipsy instantly
>happiest I have felt in 3 months
>I can definitely go without drinking the rest of my life if I wanted to. But I know I won't be as happy.
>Can you be an alcoholic if you're not actually addicted to alcohol?
I think that's the definition of an alcoholic.
I seriously like drinking as well. I've drunk well over half a thousand different beers by now, and one my favorite activities to do is just pop by breweries.
But if alcohol disappeared forever for my life, id' be sad about it, but I definitely wouldn't say I could never be as happy, or happier than when it was around.
>>16925106
Damn... I don't know what to do. I just want to feel that break from life every once and awhile.
>>16925085
No. Just go drink dummy why do you think everyone drinks? They like the taste? Pfft.
You literally need to be hitting the sauce to justify living to be an alcoholic. You're a long way from that.
If you found out your boyfriend of 3 years is now on steroids what would you do?
>>16925069
ask him to quit. if he doesnt, dump him
>>16925069
creatine is NOT steroids
Like, actual injectable anabolics, the stupid orals like Dbol, or SARMS? Is he having blood work done? Does he know how long he plans to stay on cycle? What are his specific goals? Is he experiencing any side effects? Steroid cycles can be relatively safe if you're smart, doing them correctly, not doing them regularly, and being careful with your PCT.
How affectionate is too affectionate for a mother to be towards her son?
She demands big hugs and kisses me on the cheek when I see her. I'm an adult. It makes me wildly uncomfortable
wildly?
>>16924985
"Very"
T. Thesaurus pro :DDDD
>>16924986
Nah I'm sayin that using the word wildly gives me the impression that you like it.
>Meet stunning/smart/fun Chinese woman
>We eventually date for a year.
>We both have a lot of love
> She moves away
>I get a weird massage saying she wishes she'd disappear
>She later says she wishes I was there so she wouldn't feel so lonely
I have no clue what she is even implying. This is getting odd, I think she just ended things out of the blue. Who knows.
>>16924901
Similar thing happened to me.
What do
>>16925455
>>16924901
Your relationship ended when she left. She's not implying, she's literally telling you that she misses you.
Either go be with her or move on.
give her the ol ching chong chang
I'm having a serious existential crisis and I need help. I don't know what else to say.
>>16924836
Whatever you think doesn't change your reality
I'll help. Or try to anyway. Tell me what's on your mind. Don't worry about it sounding lame or not making sense or any of that, just get it out.
>>16924836
Who cares. If we all discovered we were a computer simulation tomorrow do you know what would change?
Nothing. Everyone would carry on with their lives.
Regardless of the underlying mechanics, the game of life is played the exact same way.
Even if you're freaking out like you're the only real person in the universe, and you're reading yourself telling you this, literally nothing changes.
Sup' pals
I was wondering if any of you guys knew how to get better at being bulimic and no I am not a chick I am a dude, I just am overweight and when I was a faggot 14 year old I would throw up after every meal to lose weight, its the time everyone says I looked best and I even got a gf for a few weeks but now I am fat again
basically the only time people thought I was attractive is when I was "bulimic" does any one have any advice on how to get good at it, I try but it takes a dozen minutes to spit up a handful of sick, not good enough
not a bait, I know I am retarded.
Any experts?
>>16924784
Not worth it, try eating well and excercise like the rest of the gymrats over here.
The /fit/ sticky is a good start.
>>16924810
I stopped because I thought I would be fine just trying to be healthy
not to sound like a faggot but I have tried for years to be healthy it just doesnt work I keep being fat
What is actually bad with it?
>>16924823
With bulimia? A whole bunch of things.
Damage to gums, enamel and throat to name some.
Unless you have some thyroid problems and/or setting unrealistic goals, there's no reason being a /fit/izen shouldn't work.
What musical instrument should I learn that will make women wet
Piano
>>16924733
The harmonica.
>>16924733
Guitar. Then learn how to play wonderwall. Bitches will be sucking your dick before you even finish playing.
Why all the good 18/19 yo girls are with 24 yo boyfriends?
>>16924598
Because a 24 year old has more to offer: they're likely more stable, more experienced, more interesting, and in just as good physical shape.
Because what makes them good makes them more mature for guys their own age so they date older guys.
I'm assuming that by 'good' you mean sensible and mature, btw, not young and hot
>>16924606
Imagine how pissed he's going to be when he realizes how many of the 18-24 year old girls he's pining over end up with guys a hell of a lot older than 24.
Not much better in life than the look of realization in a bar when Chad Thundercock works out that you and your dad bod just poached the girl he was after.
>if you want to kill yourself, reach out to somebody
>I tell somebody about my problems
>"lol man the fuck up"
>"snap out of it"
>"stop whining"
>"just do it"
>"life is hard, get over it"
Have I done something wrong? Is it my fault that I feel like this? How am I supposed to improve, when my brain paints everything black? I have no control over my negative thinking. It's like a fucking parasite.
I'm trying to get help, but nobody can help me.
Is your life shit? Do you have a job or anything?
>>16924592
Might be an actual biological problem that needs remedying, it might be manageable through therapy, friend or professional, but if it's not going away even with people's help then medical expertise might be the route you wanna seek
If you lack the appropriate people to help you through it I could suggest a support group, easier place to find compassionate people than anywhere else
>>16924592
Perhaps you should take all of that advice you giant pussy. Fuck you. I sincerely doubt your problems are so bad that ending your life is the only option left. Suck a giant dick, faggot.
women in real life often compliment me, and find me attractive. i have even had girls tell me i could get anyone in the bar, even guys tell me i am decent looking. however, online (mainly dating sites) they never compliment me and are often really apathetic and ignore me. the conversation often consist of me asking questions in an attempt to get them talking, and then they reply with "no". example - Me: "you been up to much lately :) you seem nice" Her: "no".
sometimes i like talking to women online because it means i can stay in my house and get on with shit. I have had added women before on kik, they asked for a picture, seen it and then blocked me. the fuck?. I'm not worried if girls in real life are bull shitting. i just dont get the behaviour of girls online. its like they turn into complete bitch mode. Also i have never send a dick pick in my life unless the girl asked.
There's a good chance that you just take bad pictures. Plenty of attractive people do this.
Online dating is ego boosting for attentionwhores. Don't take it seriously.
>>16924516
maybe, but i have had some girls say i am really good looking from seeing my pics.
