Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1274. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1274. page
When a therapist says "your parents did the best they could" is that like code for they abused/neglected you?
No, it means your parents did the best they could, idiot.
Clearly they didn't do well enough, since you're a moron.
It means you shouldn't blame them for how you turned out.
No, it means your parents did the best they could. It means don't blame your parents for your shit
Why do parents forgive one sibling for everything, and the other for nothing?
>Be relatively affluent family, given every opportunity, father and mother somehow fluked being pretty well off despite lack of college degrees or significant holdings/estates etc
>Mum and Dad love sports, outdoors etc, my Dad always wanted to be a sports star
>Younger brother is football prodigy
>Basically my childhood is my Dad hanging out with my bro and buying me a PC because I suck at sports
>After school my brother does not become Maradona, Dad starts drinking religiously
>Best he can get is a low tier club because politics basically, not his fault
>Decides to stop playing football, and get a normal job. Dad resents this and gives him never ending shit for being a failure. Even though it was a decent enough job and paid fairly okay.
>Brother fucks up job because basically our Dad has taught him nothing but sports his entire life. Fucked up by basically telling his boss the truth and not being a yes man, when he really needed to be a yes man.
>Brother starts drinking and dealing drugs. Dad's response is to drink more and take jabs at him.
>Whole situation comes to a head when the police get a warrant to search our house for drugs. Dad is fucking full drunk mode when police show up, mother in tears. I end up having to convince the police there was nothing else in the house and it wasn't worth their time tearing the place apart.
>Brother leaves country to go to the US, because he needs help. Family there. /1
Here's some advice: type out long posts beforehand
Because parents are just people too. Fully capable of being shitty, hypocritical, playing favorites, etc.
>>16924163
>I'm personally struggling having been through a number of dead end jobs. Friends desert me largely because I can't afford ski trips and I'm not in their line of work.
>They come over to my house when they're not busy, we never go out anymore. Laugh at my drunk Dad who's comatose then they spend the evening more or less talking between themselves. There's more to this but basically I'm ostracized and despite having near perfect lives they just have better things to do than hang out with me. Pretty soon they just stop coming over and just send texts now. No real reason given other than "oh yeh busy with x that day"
>Decide I obviously need to do college, whatever belief I had inherited before of not needing it was clearly fucking massively wrong. Ask my Mum if she can support me through it. Her father's estate is pretty big, she also pays most of the bills. As long as you apply yourself was her only condition. I said no problem, my only condition was that Dad wouldn't fuck with me and undermine it. (final year in a BScH now). Friends still say their busy every weekend but I'm making new ones in college and the places that takes me.
>Meanwhile parents sink $20,000+ into brother's 2 year business diploma which he fucks up. He completes one year then bails.
>#ohwell, gets married. Get's unreal job given to him by family in the US and is making probably more than I'll ever make in my home country.
>Final year of college, parents tell me I must sell my bike that I've had for 5 years for the measly $2000 it'd net me to cover my college costs. Meanwhile vast amounts of money is being spent on my brother's wedding ceremony which is in some exotic island. So the plane tickets alone will cost $800 return.
Why?
Why am I fucked at every turn? I'm not saying I'm a saint or deserving of much, but at least I try. I try so hard and it gets me nowhere, while some people simply by being themselves get everything handed to them on a silver platter..
Last night my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. We were both up for it, but he kept missing my vagina, and after five to six attempts he was really flustered and embarrassed, so I suggested he just go masturbate instead. He got really upset and has been sulking and refusing to talk to me today.
What did I do wrong? How can I get him to cheer up?
>>16924158
Why the fuck didn't you take his dick and stick it in you?
>>16924158
where did you go wrong?
you didn't put your hand on his penis and manuver it into your vagina
this is a fucking troll, get the fuck outta here
>>16924161
He was insistent that he do it himself.
I need a bit of advice on becoming a man, my father divorced my mother for a blonde succubus who took him to Texas and turned him into a MAJOR cuck when I was about 8.
He used to be my definition of manliness, 6'5", beard, slicked back hair, and the stereotypical dumb and brutish manly attitude. Now hes a sad, controlled, beardless shell of a man...
But enough about my father, I am the one who is now in need of help, there is no saving him sadly...
I have lived with four girls my entire life. I have learned many things about women, signs of periods, a few differences in psychological aspects between men and women, what makes them happy or sad, and so on and so fourth. So I generally make friends easier with women and until I got my girlfriend my sisters always assumed I was gay (my mother never admitted it but she was the most shocked). However, on the flip side it is not as easy for me to make friends with guys, even with non-threatening men I feel feminine in their presence and I absolutely hate this.
I have never had a big male role model in my life and I honestly do not know how to be a man, it has kind of warped into a goal or obsession to become a manly type figure to be looked at and labeled as a MAN and not just another guy.
I guess in the end I am just looking for tips to improve my self-confidence when it comes to things like manliness and absolutely ANYTHING you guys have collected on fatherly advice on life, I don't need that relationship shit you learn that from girls anyway.
Tl;dr Post tips on fatherly advice and tips on how to improve my manliness, self-confidence on the matter of manliness, or even manly-esque things I should start doing.
Thanks guys.
artofmanliness.com
>>16924133
Learn to use your hands skillfully, train your body to be strong and hardy. This can be done by lifting things and putting them back down, finding a sport you love, going hunting, or whatever you find fulfilling. Learn to love the outdoors. Become confident in your body and your mind will follow.
Train your mind. Read books, old books, new books, practical books, fun books. Make time to take in other people's words. Avoid junk media.
Know the power of your feelings and when it's time to shut up and move on. Never suffocate how you really feel, but accept things you have no hope of changing and learn how to recognise what's in your power from what isn't.
Learn how to fight, to defend yourself and the people you love. Never be afraid of throwing the first punch and never be afraid of the one you'll get in return.
Find a man. Find a role model, an older man who has the traits you want to have yourself. Listen to him and watch him and learn what you can, but remember you're your own man and he is his. If you were meant to be him, you would've been born him.
Work out the code you'll live by. There's things that are generally good to follow- ie don't lie, give others what they deserve, don't let the world roll you -but you'll find peculiarities just by living in your own skin. These are what you make you your own man.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY:
You can only grow into the man you were put on this earth to be, not live in the shadow of another. If none of the above works for you, do what comes naturally and from instinct. Follow your heart.
You'll know the man you are when you find a woman who believes in you to be that man, and you find the men under you wish they were that man.
>>16924133
IMO being "manly" which I identify better as being assertive.
Doesn't matter on your appearance, just look at the new stereotype called "nu-male" the cuck hipster lumberjacks with beards.
Be active and don't let someone else take decisions for you unless you're openly seeking a suggestion.
What do you do once suicidal thoughts has become the white noise and ambiance of your thoughts?
It's become independent of my life and future.
I suggest that you seek professional help.
thereapy. if your therapist suggests that you simply 'accept' the things that make you sad, get a new one. look for one who pushes you to face your fears, and change the things you dont like
vaporwave my man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfto-jwFnlg
Ok, anons, this feels like the most retarded question, but then again I am retarded
Does anyone know any example ever, of a guy and a girl going traveling together, for over a week, to somewhat warm potentially-with-beaches-relaxing places, only as friends? Or would anyone suggest such a plan with absolutely no romantic/sexual interest? Like "oh yea it would be fun! and sometimes you really get to know someone when traveling"
What if the aim is for this to happen in 6 months?
>I wish one of you could slap me over TCP/IP so I could get on with my life
>inb4 retard
Or at least just tell me that they'll flake before that happens so I don't have to deal with all this fucking drama
the chances of hooking up are crazy high
i'm pretty sure even if its girl and guy and guy is gay there is above 50% chance they will at least make out
if the aim is for this to happen in 6 months... what the fuck who plans anything that far advance that sounds so nebulous
>>16924077
well yea, that's....I don't even
I don't even anything about her; she's the flakiest person I've yet to meet but she does plan stuff quite ahead
>then flakes
even so
Then again like a week ago she was saying yea let's buy the plane tickets and shit so how are you gonna flake out on a ~300 dollar ticket, while knowing that the other person is also investing about twice that amount
well ok, thanks for confirming that I can safely fuck my life up for another six months because I can't get anyone else it seems
literally like the 8th thread about this girl
god knows there'll be more
I so just want to settle the fuck down already and not have to deal with this crap ever again
In order to get the story straight: Your partner wants to go on a vacation with a friend and they are both sexually active and sexually compatible?
Hi adv. I have a problem. My dad is lazy, and won't collect money to pay rent. He does jobs for people then is lazy and doesnt collect the money. I have to constantly harrass him to get blood from a stone. I don't want to kick him out because he's my dad. But i have two jobs now and its to the point where i'm considering it. He won't give me rent money on time or try to. He even lied to me and used my money to take this idiot woman on a date, spending 40 instead of ten in gas like he said. Should I just kick him out?
Another bump. I need an answer.
IT just doenst make sense.
IS your dad an alcoholic?
Be his money collector, just show up with your ID to show youre related and take the money for him.
If you want him to wake up and get serious, post a 30 day eviction notice on his door.
I have an issue that started recently that I could use help with
>be 19-year-old male
>be fit
>be full-time general science student at community college with a part time job
not sure if I'm going into biochemistry or programming yet
>have no friends after graduating high school and going through serious breakup
>make friends with female in my microbiology class
>she's 31 and fat but really cool and not offended easily
let's call her A
>everything is great for a while, interested in the same things
>she invites me to see Deadpool with her friends who have already seen it because she knows I haven't seen it and I wanted to
>have an awesome time, some of the most fun I've had since breakup
>one of friends is really cute and my age and into the same stuff we are
let's call her B
>after me and A exchanged numbers to coordinate the movie watching, A texts me daily
>actually intelligent and interesting conversations
>begin spring break
>she texts me every day even if I let the conversation fade
>last night she invites me to see Star Wars (which she'd also already seen) because again, I wanted to see it and had no one to go with and she knew that
>wasn't sure if there would be others there this time or not
I get there late because of construction and felt like an asshole, but that's beside the point
>she's totally fine with me getting there late but I still feel bad
>turns out to be just the two of us
>notice she's wearing some makeup this time which I hadn't seen her do before
to be fair she was at work that day so it could just be from that. I can understand why she wouldn't wear it for microbiology
>movie goes normal and we have fun watching
>a bit of chatter afterward and then we go home separately
cont.
>>16923923
At this point, I'm thinking she might be into me but I don't think it's likely
>this morning wake up to a text saying she had fun last night and was wondering if I would want to get coffee sometime before break is over
>start to get scared that she's really into me
Personally, I think that at this age a twelve year age gap is too much, hell it might be too much just in general.
Also, I'm not really attracted to her but feel like an asshole because if she were closer to my age and a bit more fit then I would be all over her because she exactly my type.
I also feel bad for being into her friend B because she's a very similar person, except she's my age and skinny.
I guess my question is what I should say because I don't really want to go for coffee with her. Do I explicitly say I'm not interested, or do I wait to see if I'm just exaggerating?
>>16923923
I can't tell if I'm overreacting or not, but I'd rather not lose my some of my only friends. Any input is appreciated.
This should be used as general proof that women also have trouble getting a guy sometimes
>not even female
Anyway, OP, you could go have coffee and see how it goes. If she's again all made up and being extra smiley and such with you and you still think that she wants more than friendship, you might as well tell her about the age gap. She will most likely understand if you say she's intelligent/rational
That way there's a higher chance imo to stay friends. Stuff like this that's discussed over text is kinda meh, I dunno, always thought people that do this are too pussies (women and men alike) to face the situation
Then again, you're 19, shit like this doesn't really matter. But don't be too surprised if there'll be a little drama either way, especially if you go for B girl
Hey,boys and girls. I've been learning the english language on my own for half a year and now I'm at a crossroads. On the one hand, my eng is far from perfect and I still need to work hard and spend a lot of time on improving it,which I genuinely like to do. On the other hand, I study at university and I've recently realized that I don't have enough knowledge of my profession and I need to significantly expand it. Unfortunately, I can't do both at a time so I have to sacrifice either the language skills or career prospects. Just wanna ask a wise anon which way to pursue as it's very hard for me to drop out something where I haven't reached the goals i set up.
the only way to learn a language is go where its spoken. can you do a study abroad or internship to somewhere where they will speak english?
>>16923947
I'd like to,but I'm too poor for that.Learning a language takes a whole lot of time if you are surrounded by your native language, that's why I have to spend hours to improve it up to the advanced/fluent level.
>>16923914
find a native english speaker that is willing to skype you for educational purposes. just practice having casual conversation, ask for correction/clarification where necessary. doing this for an hour or so a day should help you maintain what youve learned, and you will have the rest of your time for uni stuff
How can I suggest to my teacher that I think she has a really nice arse?
How old are the two of you?
Probably do that after you have completed the course.
>>16923865
18 and 25
>>16923870
Maybe you should just tell her you think she's attractive rather than commenting on a part of her body. Also i'm gonna say that's probably not going to turn out well, you might be considered a kid to her unless she's into younger guys.
I'm a 22 year old guy - I've never had a girlfriend and I've never been on a date, but I'm really starting to get upset about it and now I really want to find someone to date. Obviously it can't just be anyone, I do have standards, but they're not huge or anything, I just really want someone to talk to, someone to actually feel for me and what not.
I don't know where to start. First off, I'm in my second year at university, I'm originally from northern europe, but I'm studying in the UK, I'm on a software engineering course, there aren't any women here so I'm really at a loss as to how to meet attractive/interesting girls.
I try to dress as nicely as my pocket can let me, I look after my hygiene, I workout, I'm 6'1, I speak several languages, I have a variety of interests from politics, to history, to electronics, psychology etc. I just don't know why, but girls are really turned off by me, I'm starting to think that one of the major reasons is because I'm just not attractive enough for a relationship.
I also have a bit of anxiety when it comes to talking to people and my accent can get pretty bad sometimes, but I'm working on it, I'm still pretty bad at talking to british people for some reason, I just don't know what to say to them or what to talk about with them, I don't know why, but my mind just goes blank. Whats wrong with me guys? Am I undateable? I'm interested in girls that are younger than me, mostly 18-20, is that a problem do you think? It's getting to a point where I feel genuinely bad about myself. Why can everyone find someone to go out with, multiple women even sometimes, but I can't even get a single girl to look at me?
>>16923829
Try dating black girls
>>16923829
Its because you're not black. White UK girls love a good rapefugee or dindu nuffin.
>>16923829
Kill those feelings, for nothing good ever comes from them.
Accept the fate of being forever alone, and thus you will never get burned by rejection. Dating, having crushes, pursuing females etc, isn't worth the emotional pain that shit causes.
Is there any efficient way to make money online? I really need to get 100$ a month and where I live there are not really many unqualified partial jobs(and the ones there are you need some experience)
>>16923744
Do you have tits?
>>16923748
do females even browse 4chan?
>>16923744
the most efficient way is to just do camming. one or two sessions a month could cover your 100 dollars.
the less sexual way to do it is to fill out online surveys. there are a few its tedious but guaranteed.
if you are creative enough (pro-tip, asking how to make online money proves you wont have the drive for this) is to use adsense to your advantage. make a website people visit for whatever reason.
Why are women worthless? I wanted to marry the girl I'm dating but she cheated on me. How do I move on?
>>16923701
Focus on life.
Women aren't life.
Sex isn't life.
>>16923701
>that op post
you know traps come with more drama and mental issues than regular women, right?
>>16923701
go gay.
>BUT ANON THATS DEGENERATE AND/OR ANOTHER REASON
then just dont date.
i need a job before the end of this month or els my girlfriend has threatened to kick me out
i live in Gloucestershire UK, 18, can't drive and have no bar experience
what do?
I'm looking at gloucestershire UK and I know literally nothing about Europe, but look at all those highways and neighboring townships.
You have no excuse.
Spend 8 hours a day doing a mix of applying online, and more specifically finding what is around. Apply in person cause you might be able to get an interview on the spot or can ask when you can interview and show up later again.
If you see a help wanted sign and get an interview your chances are very high. I've done it before and got hired with out even preparing for an interview, but after being asked questions about availability and where i live etc I asked the questions I needed to ask to make sure I can do the job and I still have the same job.
>Spend more time on searching
>expand your search
>leave the house to discover real job possibilities
>ask questions to reassure your boss you understand whats going on
>always give great confidence to getting the job and giving it a try for a long while before its decided its not for you no matter what job
>you will like what you know
You are still young. This is the time you should be working your hardest so it pays off for the rest of your long life.
Work only sucks as much as you want it to. You can get used to it, it gets a bit fun when you start to feel free.
I work 2 part time jobs btw, would prefer full time for sure.
>>16923688
go to the job centre. they will get you doing something, it will probably be shit but at least it shows you are willing to your gf.
>>16923688
Fuck theres one more thing
Why cant you drive?
work on that, it will be super valuable.
Alternatively you can take a bus or train im sure?
One more thing, even while youre working, like I said you are a young, you can even go to school or do extra activities like private music lessons, art classes etc some stuff costs money some is free
I dont know anything about UK in regards to alcohol but in US i had to get certified to be a bartender. I took the course $500 over two weeks, but I never did get a job in it. Still it was a valuable experience and I can apply for bar tending jobs if i want to now.
Yo /adv
> computer sciences engineer student
> single since 3 years
> start feeling lonely
> no grill in school nor in party with my friends
> hate going in club
> hate thinking that i want to go in clubs just bc i can't stand being single
> desesperate to a point i started using tinder
> shit is useless
> have no idea how to meet grill
picture of me for reference
does someone has any advices ?
>>16923648
shine gajin
>>16923659
sorry i don't speak chinese
>>16923648
you look kinda cute. hard to tell with the hat and your cocksucker getting ready for a black one.
but you look cute. maybe post a real photo without your mouth looking like a horse dildo just fell out it.
so my only recommendation would be to put yourself in as many social situations as possible. when you see target, approach, but dont attack. its an interesting new world when you wait and see if you actually like a girl before legitimately flirting with her.
but being in as many public situations as you can is perhaps the best way to do this. anything else becomes like you at a club, someone single and desperate.
>BUT ANON SOCIALIZING IS FOR NORMIES
go to meetup.com and go to any interest group that is remotely interesting. even if its not your favorite cup of tea, go. you will indulge an 'almost interest' and meet lots of people. talk to dudes. talk to girls. talk to ugly girls. talk to everyone. the more social you are, the less desperate you are. you get that companionship you need, and when a dateable woman comes along you dont exude that 'PLS RESPOND' vibe. you look like someone owrth dating.
and dont argue that there arent any relative meetups near you. i found a geek meetup for a guy in fucking bumfucked isreal (literally israel) so just go on and start clicking
