Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1006. page
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ok /adv/ my question has two parts:
1.
> start of a new term
> going to class
> bump into a girl that was in one of my classes first term
> we start talking and it turns out we're going to the same class
> sit next to each other, things are going well
> the first day of class was basically spent introducing yourself
> I got to share the magic number of 3 really interesting stories about myself
> we're getting along really well
> after class we go get something to eat
> spend like an hour talking and eating
> she ended up not liking the food
> it was from some random middle eastern food cart
> we kinda agreed to be in the same group for a project that would be assigned next week
> all in all though I was able to stay charming, interesting, and charismatic
> next week I go to class again
> all charisma is gone
> stuttering, can't really think of things to progress a conversation
> she seemed a little more flustered too, but I might just be imagining that
> were told to walk around and explore for different group members even though I was content with her
> end up throwing my spaghetti across the room to get into a group with her
> end up walking home with her after class
I always make a good first impression. ALWAYS.
After that though, I lose all my charisma and confidence and I can't carry on a conversation!
Am I just a one trick pony? How can I fix this?
2. I got her number cause we're in a group. Every friday the rec center on campus has a movie night in the pool where it shows finding nemo. Should I ask her if she would want to go with me to that? We're meeting up on sunday for a presentation, would it be weird if I asked her out for friday?
> pic related looks like her kinda
>>17008597
be honest. why is that so hard?
ask her out and if she asks about the stuttering just be honest and tell her you were blown away by her. she will be charmed.
>>17008597
Wait until you finish the project and then ask her out.
Don't ask her out before becuase it might effect your performance on the project.
If she says no you've lost nothing you still have no gf.
>>17008625
... but the group is supposed to stick together for the entire term + no group divorces
Need advice on re-initiating a relationship.
Bf and I broke up a month ago, he moved out a week ago now lives 2 hours away. We broke up because of communication problems, we were inadvertently hurting one another. After some learning and self-examination I found a way to make it work, asked him to stay (this was a week before he left) and he said 'I need to be strong and do this for myself', presumably not believing it could be different. Now it's been 5 days since he left and he's texted me saying that he wants to get together when we've had time to be alone and work on ourselves, go to therapy, break bad habits and be more productive. He says that though he keeps thinking about coming back he's not sure that he isn't deluding himself.
I want him back and am certain our interactions will be more positive. Most of the issues were with me, and my lack of empathy/emotional intelligence. He lives 2 hours away and I have a sick cat so I can't go visit him, I can only text or invite him here. He wants to limit contact so he can focus on himself more, but would obviously be overjoyed if I texted him. I'm worried anything I do will make him miss me less and therefore be less likely to get back together. What would be your next move?
>>17008569
I should probably add that I was the one who originally ended the relationship.
You should seriously give this some more time. You're compounding your old relationship mistakes with a new one: thinking that it's a good idea to pursue someone who isn't enthusiastic about you. This is how people end up in miserable situations.
Wait until "thinking about" becomes "enthusiastic about." And if he stops missing you and moves on in the meantime, there could be no clearer proof that his enthusiasm was missing all along.
>>17008586
I think you're correct.
I'm anxious to get back together, but I think that contacting him now will make him less interested (you want what you can't have). If I give him time, he's likely to think about me more in terms of when we first met, rather than the sadness and hurt when he left 5 days ago.
>>17008586
>Wait until "thinking about" becomes "enthusiastic about."
How will I know? When should I contact him? Ideally he should be the one texting me, but if he doesn't, how long until I text him with a "hey! do you remember the name of xxxxx" and feel out the situation?
He plans to come up sometime to see me, maybe stay over, or at the least pick up his things he left. When he does, what do I do?
Can somebbody help me???
A black hat is phising me!!!
>>17008544
shut down all network connection.
log into network on different computer
update security and change passwords on EVERYTHING
Its not a worm is it??
>>17008544
Wear a different colored hat.
i'm a recovering neet. i have zero professional references and an empty resume.
i've been at my security guard job for 3 months. i hate it, and desperately want to quit and find another security guard company.
but i want to use my current job as a reference so i have a better chance of getting hired for a next job.
how long do i have to stay with this job before i can use them as a solid reference?
4 months? 5 months? a year?
>>17008505
who in the pic bruv?
With no other references and an empty resume? At least a year
a year
Hey /adv/, first time poster here, so bare with me.
I have always had a passion for video gaming (like most people here I'm sure) and I have a steady group of interesting guys to play with often. I'd love to stream/record our games because I genuinely think it would be fun and possibly others might find it entertaining as well.
However, I tend to become blinded by my passions so I'm seeking an outside perspective.
Is this going to be worth my time? (Busy college student so don't have a lot of down time) is YouTube/twitch too flooded for this idea to go anywhere? And other general advice or comments, please.
You're not going to have enough time, and every kid and his dog does this nowadays. Plus, it might turn playing video games into a chore. I wouldn't bother.
Nope! It's really this simple: you need to have a passion for streaming and entertaining if you want those activities to be worth your time.
If you have a passion for games, spend all of that time playing games. Don't spend it on streaming/recording/editing and so on because you'll be very let down by the result of your effort.
>>17008496
>>17008490
Thanks guys, I had my doubts about the whole thing. Your advice is appreciated.
I've been feeling really alone and isolated recently. The thing is I have friends and people to do things with. I just don't feel happy? I think it's primarily I haven't had anyone I can be really close with in a while. And I'm not strictly talking about a relationship. I mean as in a really good friend where I can be myself around, I guess?
Does any of this make sense? I think I might be depressed, but I don't really know what to do.
>>17008413
Also I think it's fair to say that maybe breaking up with gf might have made me feel like this a lot more recently. But the break up happened three months ago. It was a mutual break up since she was a foreign exchange girl and there was a very low chance of us seeing each other much.
>>17008413
Being happy is directly related to how much shit you have dealt with.
suffering in some way make everything else seem so much better. If you are not changing your life regularly then everything will start to go grey.
>>17008447
I think this is true. I have been feeling like I'm living day to day life on repeat.
How difficult is it to move to/live in Canada?
I ask as a skilled white female college graduate, not looking for a liberal paradise, but for a country where my health condition doesn't mean that I risk death from losing my job.
>>17008395
depends on how you go about it. marriage is easiest. just trying to become a citizen is a bit harder.
either way 'how difficult' shouldn't be of worry. lets pretend its a scale. would you stop trying if it was a 6 on the difficult scale? a 7/10? an 8?
how easy do you want it to be? i mean its your fucking life, so why not apply and find out.
>>17008395
Canada doesn't accept American health care refugees.
But you can easily sneak over, it's not like they got a fucking wall with armed guards up there.
I'm American and went to school in Montreal for a few years. Due to some personal mental health issues I had to leave school but I really liked living up there so I went to an immigration lawyer to see if it was possible to change my status. The short of it was that the easiest way to get residence if you have no family connections is to marry a canadian, but that takes years. The other route is to get a work visa but for that you'd need to have a post graduate degree and years of experience in your field, additionally your employer would need to show that they attempted a job search and were incapable of finding a qualified canadian for this job, which is pretty much impossible.
I still have her card here though so I suppose you could call her office and have a phone consultation about this, because this was back in 2009 so I may be misremembering or the laws may have changed.
Her name is Andrea De Rocquigny website is goimmigrationcanada.com
>>17008417
yeah but you wont be able to work above the table or get any of the healthcare benefits OP wants, additionally if the police catch wind of you (which they will eventually) you'll get deported and blacklisted so you wont ever be able to visit canada again, even as a tourist.
This is really embarrassing but I got scammed by some dude in the Phillipines pretending to be a cam girl. Basically got me to pull my dick out on camera and threatened to send the video to family and stuff. I already sent money, but I'm hoping for some advice here.
Should I tell my bank I lost my card? I haven't made any purchases since I took cash out and sent it. I could say I left it at the last restaurant I was at and someone picked it up.
Also I have the dude's name. Neonel Refil; Manilla Phillipines. If someone wants to fuck this guy over feel free. Piece of shit human.
Pic unrelated
>>17008380
Why would you be afraid of your family seeing your dick? It's just your dick.
Do they not know that you're a straight male without a gf? That you get lonely and watch porn? They'd understand, and laugh at you for falling for this, and that's probably it. But now you're throwing money at this, too.
Yeah I tried to think like that, but they were gonna send it to my mom. If they ask for more I already said I don't give a fuck, it is just my dick.
It was a moment of panic desu
Older guys of /adv/, when did you start getting fat? As in starting to grow a gut and getting softer in everything? I'm 23 and still have a youthful tight thin body. wanna know how much longer I have left like this.
>>17008361
One doesn't magically become fat. It's a combination of poor diet, lack of activity, genetics. Generally speaking as you get older you require less calories. Just don't overeat or become lazy.
when I got a gf who wanted me to get fatter as a fetish thing
When I was 12 I started getting really fat, because I quit going to school and played WoW all day.
I then lost over 100 pounds, and have maintained a nice healthy chubby body with little to no effort for the past 5 years or so.
How do i tell a girl i like her
>>17008348
>"hey wanna go out sometime? ive been wanting to go to [resturaunt], but it'd be lame to go alone"
>"o-oh. okay."
>>17008348
context is key faggot, how do you know her?
>>17008348
>hey you want to hang out?
Yea/no
>Ok
So, my laptop is kinda fucked. I need to send it away to have it fixed. Two part question...
1. How do I ensure that the repair people don't see the weird hentai I've browsed?
2. What kind of laptop should I buy, if I need a new one?
>>17008330
1. Remove your hard-drive
2. Alienware
They are used to seeing weird shit, honestly don't worry about it
Asus 100%, couldn't reccomend them more m8
go with a macbook pro, but wait for the new ones to come out in a couple months. better processors.
My girlfriend does these bike trips for work so she leaves town for weeks at a time. She left for her first trip yesterday and hasn't responded to my text in 24 hours even though I've seen her on Facebook messenger and she's looked at my snap chat story
Should I cheat?
>>17008319
this is probably a troll, but in case someone takes it seriously...
>Should I cheat?
no. cheating is scummy. the only time it's even remotely non-scummy is if you're married and your controlling dickhead spouse won't sign the divorce papers even though the marriage is clearly over and you've already moved on. even then I wouldn't advise it, in case they find out and decide that using it to fuck you over in the divorce is more fun than withholding the divorce.
if you think that's too white-knight-y, here's and alternate answer: if you like lots of drama and screaming (the bad kind), and if you think it's okay to renege on promises you made to someone just because you think they *might* have reneged on promises they made to you...then go for it.
anyway there are other reasons people forget to reply to texts, even from a partner:
>they forgot
>they're mad at you
>the text you sent didn't sound important enough to warrant a reply
>they didn't get the text
without knowing what the text said, or how things were between you two the last time you spoke, who knows.
>>17008319
if its worth cheating over, its worth breaking up over.
>>17008319
>bike trips for work so she leaves town for weeks
so, she's the bike and they are all riding her
>weeks
damn..
chilling with girl I like and her friend today. girl I like insists we order pizza because I'm "too skinny".
how would you interpret this comment?
>>17008310
she wants your dick bro 100% sure.
>>17008310
I wouldn't even think twice about it.
probably a shittest
ignore
Alright /adv/, I come to you with a tale of actual sexual assault that happened many years ago, was left unsolved but came back to stress me up to the point of never getting enough sleep.
SO!
When I was about three or four years old, my cousin abused me on more than one occasion. In fact, it was almost a weekly kind of thing... And of course, like any human being who does this, he threatened me to not tell otherwise I'd be completely undesirable for life. Everything that happened, I repressed because he moved out and what are the odds of ever seeing him again, right?
Well, we fastforward eight years. I must specify that I'm Mexican, and was brought over along with my dad into the states with the "help" of my mother. We go straight to her house and hey, guess who is living there? None other than restless hormones mentioned up there. Everything floods back to me, absolutely everything but I can't say anything because of the brainwashing.
Maybe... Juuust maybe it won't happen again. But it does. For about five months, since it started three months after we got to the States. Eventually me and my dad move out. I need to point out that this wasn't "out of nowhere". This was because there has always been tension between my mom and dad... Again though, once we move out I just try to not think about anything
He tries contacting me, but after the third time I think he finally gets it? And I'm okay with life, except for the fact that now I want to make myself physically repulsive to men... So I do. Now... It's about three or four years of this self-torment and I finally tell a friend.
She convinces me to talk to my dad and we took it to the Authorities. They did absolutely nothing save for taking him in for questioning and letting him go. Now, know that I have no idea what's going on, just letting the police do their job. But in the end I decide to do nothing because I know that now he has a daughter and maybe (1/?)
>>17008299
>he has a daughter
you realize he might end up doing it to his kid, right? if you being his cousin didn't stop him from getting his shit on, who's to say that she might not end up being abused too? i think you'd be doing the little girl a favor, desu.
Whats the age difference? Between you 2 that is and im sorry to have to ask but what kind of stuff went on?
>>17008299
... Because I know he has a daughter and maybe will think twice, ya know? Because now he'd know what it'd feel like to have your daughter be molested and it'll hold him back. So I let it be.
It's been seven years since that, and my mother tells me that he's been in jail since October of last year and she's been holding this information from me for Lord knows what reason until she mentions talking to my cousin who told her that this could help with her legal status. Well. That explains it.
Thing is though, he's in jail FOR THE EXACT SAME CHARGE. Like. He just did it again. So now I'm hella mad because dude. You had a chance and ya blew it. Now I just don't want him in the outside world anymore.
So I go to the police department to get the report that I filed back then and... It's all full of bull crap. From the very beginning. It starts off with "Victim doesn't know the assaultant's name nor birth date or where it happened" Even though I remember clearly stating that I knew his first name and second last name (Heaven bless mexican culture what with the paternal and maternal last names).
So I'm like what.
And obviously, when he was questioned he gave out all this false information to cover his ass.
Now we go to the point. What do I do!? I mean, if I go to the police and tell them of the previous charges and they see all that crap, will they even take me seriously? Just.. Damn. Nobody ever deserves to have this happen to them, and I know I was dumb for not following through but he just doesn't deserve to walk the streets ever again.
I posted here a few months ago about my mail being stolen. Well, I saw who the thief was, but I don't know if I should say anything.
For background, I live in an apartment complex that doesn't have a locked mailbox. My mail started being stolen half a year ago. It was necessities that I couldn't afford to replace, such as socks. I discovered that whoever was stealing was leaving opened packages by the dumpster. They would discard anything they didn't want and keep the rest.
Recently I saw the thief leaving the dumpster and carrying a large bag over her shoulder. It was a young girl (18-20 maybe). She left the stuff she didn't want (food). I contacted my neighbor whose name was on the package. Apparently this girl is stealing women's items like jewelry. She left behind food, so she's not starving. She has been back for more boxes since then.
I don't know if I should set up a camera, because I don't know what her circumstances are that led her to steal. I can only guess that it's for selfish reasons, since it seems she's taking things she likes for herself. But what if she's forced to be doing it? Or is struggling somehow? Should I leave her alone and overlook her stealing? I am also worried about retaliation if she's in a gang.
>>17008287
>I don't know if I should set up a camera, because I don't know what her circumstances are that led her to steal. I can only guess that it's for selfish reasons, since it seems she's taking things she likes for herself. But what if she's forced to be doing it? Or is struggling somehow? Should I leave her alone and overlook her stealing? I am also worried about retaliation if she's in a gang.
Theft is not acceptable, regardless of circumstance. It's not an act of charity to allow someone to rob you. And you're not the only one being affected, as you said, she's robbing your neighbors too. Set up a camera and report her. Also, tell your landlord about the problem and demand that he come up with a better system to protect the mail.
>>17008300
My landlord couldn't care less. The neighbor I spoke to didn't seem to care very much either. It would be up to me to install the camera and report her. Even though I'm mad, I feel sorry for her because turning her in could mess up her life more than she's messed up mine.
>>17008300
Not OP, but while I generally agree with you, I would like to add that in situations where someone is stealing just to survive, I think the best thing to do is leave food/water/etc. for them and otherwise protect your stuff. That way they still get what they need but are (hopefully) no longer stealing from you. But yea, I wouldn't just let them continue stealing from me because they need it.
