Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1009. page
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>high school diploma
>no college
>no work experience aside from a month at mcdonalds and a few weeks at a warehouse
>gonna be homeless soon
How exactly am I supposed to get a job? I finally got a temp job with an agency at a warehouse, but after 3 works they let all the temps go and the agency isn't giving me anymore shit.
Suck it up and get another mcjob
Just remember, it's better to work a mcjob with no college degree than work a mcjob with a college degree and be in serious debt!
>>17007465
I've tried, the only reason I quit was because it was a 2 and a half hour bus ride to get there(and another 2.5 hours to get back)
None of the ones in the area will hire me
Join the military, or suck it up and go to a trade school, learn HVAC, Electric, carpentry, something.
I'd suggest the military simply because you could use some direction, disciprine, and to learn technical skills that can be used to support yourself well, after.
I'm an ex thief and haven't stolen from anyone for a long time. As I've gotten older, I've learned what kind of pain I've caused and the sense of anger that victims of theft feel.
In the last two weeks the sense of guilt has gotten so acute, so strong that I've had a weird desire to let people hurt me - like letting someone grind my fingers under their heel, kick or punch me in the face, or similar acts. I've been punched and kicked in the face before. I feel so bad I want to let someone do it to me again - I can't explain how terrifying getting kicked like that is so the fact that I feel low enough to want it says something about how low I feel.
This is obviously not acceptable. I put an ad up on Craigslist and paid someone who had been the victim of theft, thinking that if I let someone bill me it would be punishment enough. But that didn't work.
Is this common? Do I just sit with the guilt? Is there some socially acceptable, intense way of working this out?
Yeah, confession and/or making amends.
Until then, enjoy wallowing in your sin and/or guilt.
>>17007445
If you can't actually repay the people you stole from (an envelope with cash and an apology will do), pay it forward. Do Good Works, gratuitous acts of generosity or kindness, to balance out your karma.
Keeping in line with being kicked, you could post on craigslist that you want to buy working men's used boots for the cost of a new pair. It would be a rip off since they get a new pair and you get their shitty old ones. Then you could lick the bottom of the boots to work out your guilt.
There was a guy who posted on here a few weeks ago who lost a bet or had a fetish or something that caused him to lick another guy's boots. He got a parasite in his eyes from dog shit that was on the boots and might go blind. If you're feeling really guilty, you could do that.
The other guy gets money for new boots and you get to work out your guilt by doing the most demeaning thing I can think of. Win win, kind of.
recorded on laptop in bed. weird sounds are blankets moving around sorry
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1zExE9uWUJY
I'll be ur bf faerie :)
>>17007447
okay but i don't tank ever. hope that's not a dealbreaker :(
>>17007429
http://vocaroo.com/i/s13aKQ5z5ApP
>there is nothing wrong with your voice
>It's ironic that you are using a voice recording software to ask advice about your lack of confidence in your own voice.
Can't tell if troll.
I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now. Things are going amazingly well and I really like her. Crap man, I might even love her.
There is a problem though. Her sister is extremely jealous.
Not of me directly, but perhaps, the IDEA of me:
>She [the sister] is no longer talking to my gf. Silent treatment.
>She is acting distant and weird to her
>She refuses to acknowledge my existence.
>When my gf returned to their apt at one point, the sister was waiting. She got up balling, crying, and said she was super sorry for being so terrible and she would go discuss her insane jealousy with someone professional
>Didn't happen.
>The sister had a speaking event, my gf was going to attend. When she found out that we had plans after the event the sister uninvited from her from the event. "oh? then I don't care if you come"
>I was invited to a family event by their mother a few states away
>My GF was excited and happy for me to go
>Tried to discuss the details with her yesterday when she came over
>Said she didn't know if I could come because the sister is jealous
>MFW pic related
I'm fucking mad and annoyed that this fucking insane woman gets to make decisions as to what I can do with my GF. It's so awkward that I dont even want to go to her apartment cause I'm afraid I'm going to make life harder for my lady.
If my GF had said you can't go to this even cause its too soon, or whatever I would be fine with it. I wouldn't like it but I would be ok.
But. The fact that I am technically in a relationship that is at the whim of an insane lonely person is driving me insane.
I told my GF yesterday that I need to know whats going on with this trip by the end of the work week [Friday]. I almost feel like saying I dont even want to go to any of this anymore cause of drama. Granted I have a low drama tolerance but whatever.
I feel disrespected, as though I'm trivial. I don't appreciate the nerve of my GF to actually uninvited me cause of this sister bullshit.
1/2
2/2
I obviously don't want to get in the way of someone's family. I can't help but feel as though I have a valid right to be pissed.
My GF is going to confront her sister, I have a low tolerance for this sort of nonsense. So was I right in demanding an answer?
If I am rejected for sake of the sister's shit, I have no choice but to dump her.
I want to be in a relationship with my GF, not her insane sister.
Is this salvageable. How fucked is this situation? Anyone have similar experiences ?
The sister wants to fuck you anon
>>17007397
I've never been in a situation like that, but that whole situation sounds pretty fucked to me, I'd say to let your gf confront her sister and if her sister doesn't back the fuck off or let you and your gf live your own lives you'd either need to get away from her or unfortunately break up with your gf
How can you tell if you're friends with someone? If you've gone out to do things with them one on one on more than one occasion, is it safe to assume you are?
>>17007362
What was it that you did with them?
>>17007362
> no friends
> doesn't know if aquaintince or friend
If you talk to them, and they talk to you, and there isn't banter in between, you're friends.
>>17007363
Usually we go around trying new restaurants or food trucks in our city. Normally we do this during lunch at work but once we did it for dinner on a day when they didn't have work but I did.
>>17007367
I thought banter was a thing friends did?
So, /adv/, I've been incredibly lucky and incredibly blessed to have received two admissions offers to both Princeton's and Columbia's engineering MS programs with full financial support. I have to make a decision within the next few days, but I'm having a hard time choosing.
Columbia: I can transfer roughly half of the credits required for my degree program, finishing in about a year. During my graduate program (at whatever school I'm at), I want to take the opportunity to explore the theoretical side of my field more. Between the two schools, Columbia (says) that it offers more classes in this area, but it's somewhat unpredictable because the classes it claims to offer aren't always offered. I'm also quite familiar with professors at Columbia.
Princeton: I can't transfer any credits. The number of courses I have to take is similar, but there are more requirements in the way of TAing and doing a thesis, and I'd only be able to finish in 1.5 years if I severely push myself. According to the requirements, at least half of the courses will be spent taking analogs of courses I took during my undergrad, and the other half would be open to taking whatever variety I want (though the selection may possibly be more limited than at Columbia). Princeton's program has a better reputation (and ranking in my specific area of study).
Another confounding variable: I have two serious, competitive full-time offers at well-reputed and stable companies that will be there after my graduate program so long as I can finish before December of 2017. If I go to Columbia's program, I will certainly be able to finish in time, but if I go to Princeton's program, it will be a stretch, finishing within a week of having to start work in December 2017.
What do, /adv/?
Columbia, obviously.
Have fun (:
>>17007350
Thanks! Would you mind telling me a bit more about why you'd make the choice? Do you find that the convenience and class opportunities will most likely be more valuable than the marginal difference in prestige (from perception of possible employers or PhD application reviewers)?
>>17007331
Columbia has the overwhelming advantage of being in New York City, one of the 2 or 3 greatest cities in the world. Princeton is in a little college town in New Jersey.
Hey /adv,
I will try to keep this as short as possible, but my problem is, is that lately I have been experiencing depressive thoughts, suicidal, I've been very sad and when I am with my girlfriend, she gets angry easily, annoyed and bothered, even when I do something that is not even bad. It is not that she makes it worse, my depressiveism, but I am afraid to even speak to her about it, because she doesn't want to talk when I'm depressed tbut then I feel like I need her to help in some way. I'm at a loss at this point, don't know what I should do, how I should confront her maybe
What do you think /adv?
Definitely talk to her, and, assuming she isn't busy with something, I think she should be talking to you about it.
Now I know its your girlfriend and all, but having someone who is showing irritation/anger towards your sad times is just going to make it worse. That being said, try and talk to her, approach her in any way but make it clear the subject is the way you feel, if she neglects to do so I'm not so sure, but personally I would be fed up with her shit and talk to someone else like a close friend.
She is your girlfriend so you shouldn't have to overthink confronting her, just ask her if she has a few minutes to talk about life perhaps.
Typed a lot but still idfk man, gl.
>>17007304
Look her in the eyes and tell her you're depressed and need her help or to talk or whatever. Suicidal thoughts shouldn't be ignored and if this US what you need from her, drive it home. If she can't deliver, she's probably in some part responsible for dragging you down.
>>17007312
Thank you, I will talk to her about it soon no doubt. I am afraid of when I tell her, she might say something like "figure it out on your own" or something, fuck. Its confusing
Any one know how to remove this dust from my vehicle? I tried everything short of pressure washing, thanks guys.
Is it leather?
If not, choose a less prominent area and test a mr. Clean magic eraser. Those things are crazy good. Don't forget to wet the sponge before scrubbing. Can bleach which is why I suggest a corner as a test area.
>>17007281
Interior I assume, what's the material?
>>17007284
It's hard plastic, work Truck kind of plastic
I'll give advice and an example on this topic for anyone experiencing this shit.
also general break up thread.
To put it simply you are better off letting her/him go, because it's very rare that things will turn well for you.
I was hanging out with this qt 3.14 for 3~ months, she was perfect from outside and inside to me. Things got a bit close between constant kissing, hugging, cuddling, she jerked me off few times, we spent tons of time together and.things were looking good, actually even more than good, I met her parents, knew her friends etc.. was looking forward to making it official soon.
One day like a month ago she told me she still has feelings for her Ex, that she broke up with 5-6 months ago.. At that moment deep inside I knew that this wont end well, but I kept telling myself that time and myself will make her forget him and be with me, I just couldn't leave her because of how much I fell for her, at least not for "words" she said.
And what do you know, we met up on friday and she seemed really weird, she seemed cold and hard to reach, only let me kiss her cheek and etc.. then I realized something is wrong, just when things started to get more serious and close, she tells me she is again hanging out with her Ex and that she belongs with him, even though she told me about their relationship in the past and how they were fighting everyday for 6 months, how he tells his friends what a bitch he is and etc.. Even though that faggot is from my school and I have no idea how is he acting that way since he's a loser desu, or at least was now.. she's from my school too.
The point is, if a girl hasnt moved on, she will always ALWAYS go back to her ex, its a cursed circle and only a matter of time.
Or you will have to be like me, fell in love with a girl, she returns to her ex after 3-4 months of us hanging out and now I have to watch her and him in my school everyday.
Any similar stories anons? And any tips on how can I deal with this?
You should do a break. and she needs to think what she really wants. she has a work to do on herself
>>17007280
My current gf used to have feelings for her ex when we were first dating and through the first couple months, he'd randomly try to contact her and shit saying stuff like "I miss you" "I love you" was his latest one, basically he just kept trying to get her back for no reason and it got to the point where I told her "either you let go of him and keep me, or let go of me and have him" fortunately she chose me, and since then our relationship has been better than ever before because that shit head is out of the picture.
>>17007301
You were lucky that your Girl was mature enough to move on and don't live in the past, making the same mistakes over and over again.. I am envy of you to be honest.
>>17007298
Even if she were to come back to me after some time, after (if) she does realize her mistakes, Im not sure if I would let her into my life again.. These days are so fucking tough trying to forget her while seeing her 5 days a week multiple times and if it were to happen again... don't know if I could risk that.
I will definitely do a break on woman and relationships, at least for summer time.
>get a call from a job i applied for
>kind of a well payed help desk operator
>its in English
Holy fuck, English is my second language, i am pretty good when in comes to conversing with people, but that interview is tomorrow and just trying to rehearse some sort of a speech is having me barely putting sentences together.
Please give me some advice how to not fuck up an interview, especially since English isnt even my native tongue.
Fuck all the BS. You got this bro, I believe in you.
Second language huh, well say if you were talking to a friend who only spoke english, could you have a decent conversation and be fine?
If so, don't stress it, actually doing so will probably make you more likely mess up.
If you aren't very fluent in english, perhaps look up job interview videos and get down some of the standards, then be content. Don't fret, just wait until tomorrow and do your best.
>>17007279
Easier said then done, im freaking the fuck out.
>>17007321
I can hold a good conversation with the few people i actually use it with, i dont have that much of a conversational experience when it comes to stuff that isnt gaming or tv shows or whatever.
Nofap is bullshit right?
Completely. Seems it's all college kids doing it for whatever reason. If you're jacking it six hours a day you have a problem. But even in that case I guarantee that problem will no longer exist by the time you hit 30.
Yes, it's bullshit. It's a pointless meme.
not entirely.
It's somewhat a hormonal thing, but mostly a psychological thing.
If you limit yourself to nofap, you'll more actively seek sex (and by extension, dating) subconsciously because you can't get off that way anymore. Also gets you into the habit of delayed gratification - good for goal setting and life in general. If you just fap whenever you feel like it, that's the kind of mental state you'll get routinely used to.
How do I find a basic bitch or gold digger gf?
I just want some validation from being in a "relationship" with someone.
Can you afford a sugar baby? Look on seekingarrangement.
You get your life sorted out and find people that won't judge you for not having previous relationships. The only validation you need is your own.
>>17007222
>bro trust me a gf ain't all that great
>just love le single life mang
Fucking Normies I swear
Hi /adv/,
I'm in a bit of a weird situation. I like this girl and I think she likes (liked?) me back, but I don't want to date her. There's obviously more to the story so I'll try to make it short and sweet in the form of a greentext.
> Be me. 25, M, not have life together for the most part. Still live with parents because live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. Don't gym but try to jog regularly - fail. Earn very little for my age but love my job and want to pursue career in it. At least I'm fairly smart idk.
> Have tight knit group of friends. Only about 3-4 strong but value each other a LOT. Don't really have other friends. Only acquaintances and friends I don't really talk to.
>ANYWAY - Meet girl (22, attends uni in another city) through one of my close fem-homies. Girl is cool. We hit it off. Talk a lot. Catch feels.
>She "doesn't date" and has commitment issues but gives off shit tonne of mixed signals. Stays on phone with me for hours on end. We get into fights like couples would over insignificant things that friends wouldn't argue over. Make up every time. She tells me about other guys she "catches up" with that are clearly interested in her. She's asked a mutual friend if I like her. Mutual friend wants to stay out of it but says if I like her, I should go for it.
>Feel crazy insecure about myself at my age not having my shit together. Pessimistic about relationship at this point in my life - need to get shit together first + she's got commitment issues and currently lives in another city. Both of us have nfi where the fuck we'll be next year (family is fairly well off so I could be studying overseas next year. her family is straight up loaded).
>Tired of going in circles with my feelings. decide to just straight up tell her I like her but I think we shouldn't date
>Dinner with her tomorrow after work
So apart from how fucked up that all sounds, how should I go about this?
>>17007205
OP Clarifying some shit: She's told me about two guys she's been interested in before. Gone on dates with before. I take this is a strong fucking friendzone sign. She's also never really had a boyfriend, but any girl should fucking know not to tell a guy she's interested in that she's into another guy... right? That's where I'm getting the mixed signals.
Also, there are a lot of differences between us like we have very starkly different views on things. She's vegetarian. I love to eat and hence, am not vegetarian (I don't like to call myself a foodie but I'm a bit of a fanatic). She wants to save the world through grassroots movements and power to the people and all that jazz. I don't even know if I believe in democracy. We're pretty much opposite ends of the spectrum on a lot of things but we're both very passionate people I guess. We get along very well somehow, but will have ridiculously big fights sometimes too - over seemingly insignificant things that basically boil down to clashes in ideology.
I'm 33 and 'getting your life together' is fucking all over the place at this age range for friends and relationships.
I've friends with two children who are married. I've friends with children who are divorced and remarried. I've friends who moved countries. Who moved back again. Friends trying to buy a house. Friends with houses. Friends with multiple houses. Friends living at home. Friends living in large house shares. Friends still trying to get a job. Friends with cars. Friends without.
You make it sound like the decision to date is a fixed deal. What happened to spending time with someone and seeing if mutual attraction develops then making a move? You don't have to declare it and be like "whelp, I knew you'd reject me anyway so at least that is out of the way".
Sounds like you are insecure because you still live at home, but you admit that plenty of others are in a similar situation at your age in that city?
I was homeless from 17 until 22. I went to university at 23. I got married at 24. I dropped out of university and eventually got divorced at 26. I got a steady job at 28. I lived in a house share with single guys until I was about 29. I bought a house at 30. I bought a car at 30. I finished my degree at 31. I got my first 'real' job at 31.
My girlfriend is 25 and has just finished her MA, she is just learning to drive.
Seriously it is a cluster fuck. I'm only highlighting this because it seems to be the root of an insecurity which is encouraging you to try and shoot this down with a declaration right at the start instead of letting things develop.
I know a girl who is stunning. She is so far out of the league of everyone I could think of. She is on a fast track career program to becoming a senior academy manager. For the last 10 years she has basically been sleeping on her average boyfriends sofa who works part time in music/arts production and she loves him more than anything. He is completely average, poor and bald.
>>17007217
Thanks dude. That's how I feel too - and honestly I feel like I'm not sure if there's mutual attraction there. For once I'm not looking for whether she's staring at me - I just have a really good time when I'm with her. We went out a few days ago after work for drinks/bar food and we just really enjoyed each other's company. I don't like to put a label on things. And you're right - getting your life together isn't a one-and-done thing. It's an ongoing thing that really never fucking ends. The real reason I feel insecure is because I'm a fucking cynical pessimistic and depressed fuckwit.
ED thread
So I got out of a relationship and am hearbroken. This was about a month ago and since then my sex drive is gone. I don't get horny or wake up with a boner.
If I try and watch porn I just stop.. My sex drive is gone.
Now the issue is I'm hooking up with this hot girl aready. See her 1-2 times a week and sleep over at hers. We kiss and get naked and it's awesome, I really enjoy it. But I can't get hard, or if I do, I can't stay hard. She's nice about it but obviously it's really frustrating for both of us.
Now this is a mental issue, since phsyically I can get erections.
Any people experience this issue with ED after an emotional breakup?
I'm 25 and don't want to accept that this is my life now..
Help :(
Bumping for my sad soft dick
Surely some input..
Pills. It doesn't mean you need to use them forever. Use them as temporary aid until your anxiety is gone. Speak to a doctor.
You need friends before you can get a gf right lads
>>17007162
I had friends. Then I got a gf and spent all my time with her so I lost my friends. Then my gf got sick of me and dumped me.
Now I have no gf and no friends
Your friends will most likely steal your gf
Friends are friends, friends could be your best friend, friends can turn into family, or your worst enemy and gfs are girls that should be friends first, then you date, then you start a relationship, hopefully become lovers and possibly start a family.
Its your choice because, eventually you will have to choose
