Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1004. page
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Hey /adv/ I need some advice.
Me and my wife have been thinking about kids recently, I'm 29 and she's 27.
Our money combined we're bringing in about 110k a year so financially we're all set but I'm curious about all the D/adv/s out there, what's it like being a father?
I had a really great father growing up and a not so wonderful mother so I think I have a good idea of how to be one but I'm curious what it's like to be one?
Is it cool? Do I gain an immediate affinity for lawnmowers and grills? Haha! All kidding aside I'd love to hear some responses on the joys and pains of fatherhood!
(pic not specifically related, could be)
It's a life changing experience mate, your whole meaning of your own existence changes. You are no longer an independent, you have dependants.
Yes you will get a love for those things because they will be your only male things you have time out to do.
It is the best experience in life. Congrats
>>17009403
pretty busy the first ten years, then one day you look at this strange kid playing video games all day long and wonder who the fuck is that kid
>>17009918
Hahah, is that a bad thing? I guess I'd rather have my kids wasting their lives on that then be getting fucked up all the time, but I lived with problem drinkers/drug abusers so maybe I have a skewed view.
Thanks for the reply!
How should I feel and/or handle this situation /adv/? It's not too complicated. My gf of about 5 months, (but add the time spent together including talking and it's about 10-11 months) might be going out to a bar we've both gone too together with one of her girlfriends tonight.
I feel conflicted. Don't want to be controlling. But I know I'll be wondering if any other guys will approach her, offer her a drink.
We've had a conversation about the drink offering before, she said she'd judge whether or not to accept a drink from another guy based on whether he would leave her alone or not.
On that matter I think that's total bullshit. The whole offering of a drink is for the sole purpose of getting to know someone anyways. So I can't help but have this crossing my mind too.
>>17009386
Really? At where you live dudes comes and offer drink that random? Gosh. And even girls take it that casual?
If she takes it as its nothing serious I'm sorry it's not worth it dude.
>>17009410
?
I don't know that they do. But it crosses my mind, the "what if" scenario.
>takes it as nothing serious
I'm just not sure. I don't know. She hasn't given me any explicit reason to not trust her. Maybe she just wants to see her friend. But I'm uneasy cause I've dealt with cheating before
You're thinking because of what she said about the drink that she's not taking it that serious?
I'm conflicted. Might sleep on it until the morning and see
>>17009421
If a guy offers to buy a girl a drink, and she says yes, it's an invitation to flirt. It's not like "I agree to fuck you," obviously, but she's giving him a chance. If she was taking the relationship seriously, she'd be paying for her own drinks. Doesn't mean she can't go out and hang out with her friend, even play "wingman" to help set her friend up with a guy, but she shouldn't really be letting other guys buy drinks for her.
You can't really TELL her not to do this, ultimatums never work in situations like this. But I'd personally take it as a red flag if my girlfriend was out there, without me, letting other guys buy drinks for her.
>We've had a conversation about the drink offering before, she said she'd judge whether or not to accept a drink from another guy based on whether he would leave her alone or not.
You already called it, but this is nonsense. A guy wouldn't offer her a drink unless he at LEAST wanted to talk. Even if she's telling the truth, that's just kind of a shitty thing to do.
What do you think of the name Egil for a boy /adv/?
white trash as all fuck.
I don't know. I guess it's fine. But for real though, give him a family name that won't get him bullied, don't try so hard to give a "unique" name. A child is not an accessory.
I don't like it
I'm male and I have the problem where I don't want to fuck. If anything I want to be fucked. I don't want to hurt any woman but I want them to be mean to me and abuse me. However I know that isn't normal for males and perhaps I should change my ways. How do I get over this and get the desire to fuck?
>>17009287
Grab a bitch by the neck and fuck her, tell yourself you like it. Self hypnosis success in fucking method.
>>17009292
I've tried being dominant before (obviously not grabbing someone by the neck), and it just makes my dick go limp. I know this is much more psychological but I can't tell why I just can't get hard. It sucks because I fall deeply in love with women, I just can't get my dick up.
>inb4 gay
I'm not, I already know that.
I don't think you need to change your ways. Everyone's different. Find yourself a dominant woman who can get you wild. I'm sure there are many out there.
What can I do with my day off tomorrow that will enrich me?
Where do adults even go to make friends?
go for a long walk
fuck if I know
The homeless shelter! Serve the community, make friends.
>>17009282
>What can I do with my day off tomorrow that will enrich me?
You mean "cultural enrichment"? Go to a black lives matter protest and refer to the melanin-challenged people there as "nigga".
Is it immoral to fuck your ex-girlfriend's sister?
>>17009271
Nope.
I sure hope not, I've been living with her for more than 5 years.
Your ex
Fair game
I just recently started drinking casually (getting really drunk but only one or two times a month) and it did great things to me socially.
Thing is, I want to start going to the gym, can I continue drinking like this? No science and stuff, I read about it a lot. I want some real life experiences.
Depends on what your goal is at the gym. Also theres a sticky on /fit/
Have you seen Jersey Shore?
Once or twice a month is fine.
How to shave my beard?
It's hard and rigid, my razor blades can't cut it properly, and I always get the beard shade clearly visible, and even the hair in some points, I can't shave it again because I get injured if I try
And I can't even let it grow because it's not thick, so it looks horrible if I don't "shave it"
nair
>>17009178
fire
>>17009178
Beard trimmer.
I lost a very close friend because I became obsessed with her. She was so close to me that I could not spend a single day without talking to her, and I wanted her to always be near me. I also got jealous of her BF. I felt so sick, that I would sometimes vomit when I was going to see her because I was so nervous and thinking about all the things I'd tell her. At first, she was the one that called me, I am not someone who uses to talk on the phone. But after some months, I was the one calling her all the time. I began to lose control, creating havoc everytime I saw her talking to someone else.
Finally she told me to fuck off, she was worried that I could hurt her. It wasn't easy for me to stay away from her. She is my classmate, and we see each other everyday and have friends in common. A year has passed now, during a long time I was really angry at her, I felt like I'd like to hurt her. But now, I don't feel like that anymore. I still see her but we don't talk. And it hurts me that I lost a friend like her for being so stupid. I'm probably still obsessed, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this. I just want her to be my friend, but she doesn't, it seems. Now everyone says it's been a long time and we should talk again, but I don't think I could(eventhough I'd like to), and she won't neither. What can I do?
Wow. That is completely abnormal and worrisome behaviour. Rather than talking about being friends again, you should be talking to a therapist. GL, OP, and go take care of yourself.
>>17009170
I think the problem is you don't value yourself or have enough in the rest of your life. That is why you put all this pressure on her to fill the void. You need to fill a lot more of the void with other things.
>>17009202
Maybe, but that is not easy.
Hey, /adv/, I've a got a bit of a problem. I've been in a relationship for a while now, and I really love this girl. But I'm paranoid that she's cheating. I'm a very paranoid person to begin with, and very insecure but I think have good reason here. She has a guy friend who she's known since she moved here and has been close with him for a while. Nothing's ever happened between except for one time where they kissed while drunk. More recently, she seems to have stopped talking to him because "he changed after he left a relationship", but I still see them talking from time to time. I dunno, the shift between considering him a close friend and sort of an acquaintance seems really rapid. I think she might be trying to cover her tracks. Thoughts?
>>17009166
She also often doesn't meet my eyes and says she "doesn't like people looking at her" and I'm wondering if she's feeling guilty over that.
Where there's smoke there's fire.
As a man that was once in your position, trust your gut.
>>17009192
That's the thing tho, my gut isn't always the most accurate in the world. I'm constantly worried that people are lying to me whatnot and that people are one bad day away from betraying me. Which is why I'm not sure if it's my paranoia and insecurities acting up because I'm terrified about losing the woman I love or that I'm making mountains out of molehills. Because the dude that I'm talking about is constantly being a drama queen from what I've heard from other people.
After years of being in the deepest mental hole beyond imaginable I've nearly given up on finishing school, I haven't been attending, I have no passion for anything, depressed/bipolar/psychotic symptoms and all that, talked to psychologists and psychiatrists, I just can't get myself to do anything in this world anymore. I've always been aware of the systems in place but I've gotten to a point where I'd rather die than do anything useful for machine. It would be nice to find something to hold on to and have a reason to live instead of death though. I just don't know what that is for me, and I feel like I won't be able to figure it out, plus, I'm running out of time. I'm on the border of dropping out of school because I physically can't make my brain analyze and write up papers. If I am to drop out, I will have only a few months to get my shit together and think about what to do, the sooner the better obviously, I can't stand even the thought of casual store or office jobs, and I can't stand years of school to get labeled for qualification of an actual job. Can't take working for someone else or doing mindless tasks. I want to create, be something, separate from the generic shit.
The purpose of this is to ask, what is a route I can take in life that won't make me want to kill myself? Is it even possible to break out of the system of formal education and all the qualification bs. Everybody tells me I'm beyond intelligent but this situation just makes me feel retarded.
>>17009146
Pic irrelevant btw.
And I fucking hate Rice A Roni.
>>17009146
Adopt one of those poor African children and dedicate your life to giving them the best life possible.
>>17009154
Another life to worry about.
Fantastic.
How come people keep asking me why no gf or why dont you want to be married?
Im about to finish college, im not 35 lol.
It's my mom or relatives, but the thing is it's people my age too.
Today some classmate I semi know was talking to me today. Different things and then I was like im not too concerned with making a lot of money I want to ski and live in an area with great skiing. Im not going to be married or have a family.
Then he just jumped in and was like blah blah blah i thought the same thing and i got a gf. Im just sitting there like well im not you.
I was about to fucking explode on him(i didn't though, just dropped it).
I dont understand why people keep bringing this up to me im not good looking at all, id rank myself below average. Ive never had a gf and ive never been on a date in my life, women never talk to me. Well one crazy girl asked me for help in math last week, but she's like legit crzy oh my god i need straight As for med school type.
How do i explain this to people? Like i just want to tell them ive never been on a date, im fucking ugly, and women dont find me attractive, now fuck off and stop making me depressed.
Im not sure who these people think i am? Im a kid who fucking played video games 15 hours a day, i set up a network bridge when i was 13 and was using ip sniffers auto standby programs to win games on xbox live. I had a runescape account that was almost max combat level and last summer I was ranked 136th in the world on an xbox live game called destiny in the most competitive game mode. Im a fucking computer science major, im a nerd who watches too many documentaries and will learn a new programming language in his free time. I can't make small talk with people but ask me about ancient rome and you'll get a lecture.
when people my own age start bringing this up depression kicks in bad. I had a bunch of work to do today and i was trying to learn a new programming language and i just got depressed
>>17009093
don't stress about it?
Relative are always like that. Hardwired to encourage genetic spread.
Maybe you should not freak out so much about idle small talk. because that's all it was.
The dude was actually gay or bi and was dropping hints that he liked you
>>17009115
yeah my relatives dont bother me, i guess its like my mom says im good looking.
>>17009156
lol, I know him he isn't. He was pissing me off an awful lot this morning.
how do I make money fast? I'll be homeless in two months if I don't make at least $500 saved up before then.
what do I do?
please help
>>17009043
>500 dollars over 60 days
>this poor soul is so far gone that earning nine dollars a day is fast money
apply to retail at a home improvement store, they'll be hiring since most consumers buy their shit in the warmer months
>>17009043
2 months is more than enough time to print out some resumes and find regular work.
In the interim, find a nearby temp agency and they can find you short bouts of work (8-12 hours at a factory)
And no there is no easy website to make that money just by clicking you gotta work.
>>17009054
yeah, killing myself is also another option, but that's a last resort kind of thing
I hate everything about college culture yet I just agreed to attend one for 4 years
How do I make the best of it
>>17009024
Move off Campus.
There is no single overarching "college culture". I don't mean to deny that there's somethung you hate, but it all but certainly applies to only one group out of many. All you have to do is avoid falling in with that group, and you're golden.
Tell us more. What is it about "college culture" that you hate so much? We may be able to identify what groups to avoid.
join a frat
I am a young man who is successful in every since of the word except I have not had a gf since I was 16. I have friends and can talk to people no problem.
I get really bummed out being rejected by girls. Some of my closest friends are already married or in LTRs. Pithy advice about chin up etc doesn't help change the fact that I can't get a gf to save my life, and especially when it seems like every single person my age is in a relationship literally 24/7. How do I not feel like a failure or that I'm being left behind? How do I end this? I just want a nice relationship, why is this so hard to get?
You are a lot less whiney than most of the guys here and also didn't say you're "better looking than average" so you're off to a good start. In some ways you might be the victim of your own success, working hard but also isolating yourself. You still have a social life so someone has to know someone. If you feel hopeless I'd say avoid online dating or apps. Actual advice is I'd say go out more.
>>17008986
anything worth having takes work. thats why its worth having
>>17009036
Basically everyone my friends/family has set me up with wasn't interested or I wasn't. Online dating is worthless, I might have zero game but chicks give you two messages and stop replying.
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