Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 89. page
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So, we always hear that if you're in a relationship with someone not so great, someone you see a a diamond in the rough, someone you want to fix up, that you should leave immediately because it will just be a toxic relationship. We are told you can't fix them and you need to find someone healthy.
So, first of all, if this is the case, then what happens to those people? Do they just forever drift from partner to partner, never being satisfied? Do they find someone who fixes them? Will they have to stay single until they fix themselves?
Is there no alternative?...
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>>17349265
>then what happens to those people?
They find people who are okay with those flaws and tolerate them. Or at least get stuck in a situation where neither can really leave. Or they just end up alone
>why does one assume the other needs to leave as if they're healthy?
People change. People's true colours emerge as you get to know them. The 'broken' person may have been able to hide their flaws until later on in the relationship....
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The whole "don't try to fix people" thing doesn't mean only perfectly healthy people can have relationships. That would mean virtually nobody can. It also doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with someone with issues. What it means is that you will have to deal with the problems that come with it. You have to accept that it might be they never change. And you need to be ok with that. This isn't easy depending on the issue. But those people telling someone in a relationship with a person with issues always forget that the other person...
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>>17349276
Also, most of the time, those issues emerge only after being in a relationship for a while. That's why it's important to take things slow and not get married/move im/have kids immediately or you will be stuck in a relationship with someone that has issues you can't handle. It's also why it is so fucking important to not put up an act. If yoy don't show yoyr partner your "true colors", they can't make a conscious decision about being able to deal with the whatever issues you...
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>been in a couple of relationships
>current one has been about five years
>due to unfortunate (no kid involved) circumstances we were forced to get married much younger than intended
>been married three years
>we have finally admitted to eachother that this just isn't working
>getting divorced
>currently getting in shape myself
>eventually...
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>>17349252
Why not just join your local lgbt
>>17349263
Because
1. No.
And
2. Absolutely not.
>>17349269
Why?
Let me guess
"I'm totally not gay I just want to fuck boys in skirts!"
Is that it?
Guys, I have been listening a lot to a variety of songs. Anything from the trippiest-most relaxing music. To stuff like 5FDP. And through all of this I have noticed that I am not happy. Gaming was originally an outlet to express any skill that I may have had, but it makes me angrier, as I have no way to vent when I need to be toxic. And it isn't that I am an angry gamer. Well I am but that isn't important. What I am trying to say is that through my family shaming me because I distance myself because of depression (they have no idea I am depressed) having few friends...
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>>17349238
How old are you OP?
>>17349239
Seventeen
You haven't really expressed anything you need help with other than "Am sad, tell me how not to be."
If you think the majority of the people here have found the answer to that question you really are barking up the wrong tree. People wouldn't be here if that were the case.
Desperately trying to sleep but can't. What do I do?
Shitpost from your phone in bed like me
>>17349219
Good job
>>17349218
Try a warm cup of milk?
>tfw I started seeing a girl about a week ago
>Spent a few nights at her apartment
>Haven't fucked yet
>Last time I was over she answered the door wearing the shortest workout shorts I've ever seen and a low cut black shirt
>We talk for a bit at her kitchen when she asks if I want to drink a bit
>Have about 4 shots in less than 10 minutes
>She only...
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"I'll bend the rules, just this once" or something like that. And then you should have fucked her
>>17349210
Wtf? You better fuck her, and fuck her so good you put her to sleep right after. Otherwise she will just get fucked by Chad.
>>17349210
>Denying a girl sex after she begs you for it
The absolute madman.
Is it morally wrong not to tell my roommate my cat has FIV?
My cat is generally not interested in sex and is also fixed. So theres very little chance of her cat getting it.
>>17349196
You're a shitty person if you don't mention it. You are a shitty fucking person.
>>17349201
Why? Its not transfered through saliva theres no way for her cat to get it unless they fight. And we both said our cats are pretty shy.
I own two cats and they share a water bowl/ food and the other has not gotten it.
>>17349207
They could still fight, even if they're both shy. I've had shy cats who fought when in each other's presence.
I've been seeing this in "how many levels of irony are you on" and other related webms. What does succ itself mean
Try again in 6 or 7 levels of irony, my man.
>>17349297
You are like little baby. Now watch this...
>>17349297
SUCC
How much Xanax do you need to get blasted as fuck? I've taken around 8mg before is that more than a typical user?
The one time I got fucked up on Xanax, I had done Xanax before but never felt anything from it really. So, I decided I'm a big guy, over six foot, and 200+, so I decided I'd take two bars.
Ooooweee, I'm glad I didn't have shit to do that day, because I think it was about 3 PM, and I blacked out for the entire evening, night, and into the late morning when I finally woke up.
I was just glad I remember to turn the stove off, because I was making a pizza right before I took the pills.
>>17349791
>I'm a big guy
Benzos are awfully dangerous for a casual high. Smoke fucking weed you actual homosexual.
Today is my anniversary with my bf...but he forgot, and so i got sad. He said he was sorry but he forgot (again) and that today he was busy all day. So i obvs got sad and mad he forgot, he ignored me all day didnt apologize or make things better, didnt do anything to make me feel better...not one thing. What do you guys think i should do i feel like crap.
>>17349140
I can't fucking stand people like you that make such a big deal about bf/gf wannabe adult anniversaries, birthdays, and any sort of instantly gratifying annual bullshit. Go fuck yourself.
Unless it's only about birthdays n'shit then I would never care. I'd care about more important things though, If he is treating you like shit overall or not.
>>17349140
He's right about forgetting, what's the point of celebrating you're in a relationship since a certain amount of days? You should rather focus on how happy both of you are and were in that relationship. People tend to think more about the length and stability of a relationship than its quality.
I just want to feel love. Or anything. I know this sounds edgy, but I've slowly built up a thick shell that'll only get pierced by certain trigger topics, and now I want somebody to talk to. My friends all see me as this big untouchable hulk of a man that'll start a fight at the drop of a hat, so I can't tell them about anything that'll paint me in a sensitive light. I don't want sex, I don't want any of that anymore. I just want to talk to someone about the feelings that've been killing me inside. Where do you find someone like that, /adv/?
>>17349133
Yeah dude it sounds really hard being big and alpha. Gosh all that sex must have been terrible. I'm feeling really bad for you right now.
>>17349142
It ain't about sex. Everyone thinks they want sex, but the wrong kind will make you feel used.
Oh man did I finally found someone who's been through the same thing as me?
Well, I usually lowkey dated people who became depressed as heck and called themselves a hopeless romantic, but then we slowly drift away and not talk to each other for a while (I'm still good friends with a couple of them but we both don't like bringing up that topic), and you feel like you've been used so people get a boost of happiness and self confidence.
Is life even worth living if you're trans? No one treats you like you're a normal human being and it's not even possible to find a boyfriend. Guys will fuck you if you seek them out, but then you find that it's loveless and start to give up on the entire concept of romance and romantic love.
Please help. I can hardly stand it anymore and idk what I might do.
what matters the most is being honest with yourself, no matter what it is and try to fullfill your inner dreams
>>17349108
my inner dreams involve me being a normal girl like any other, and having a loving husband. which honestly seems impossible.
>>17349110
nothing is per say, normal, in our world, just mundane task every day.
so go out and be yourself, seek love and you will find love. nothing is impossible, so be brave
I'm getting older and older and I still couldn't get accepted into university yet. I'm 24
After what point does it become too late for me and it stops being something worth pursuing?
My sister is almost 30 and doing a degree at University. Never too late.
>>17349100
What do you mean you couldn't get accepted?
>>17349122
Well in my country to get into university you have to like take a test, then you get ranked based on that test
So say if there are 40 openings your grades on that test have to be on the top 40 to get in
There's also places where you can just pay to go yes but they get a bad reputation and I can't really afford it
>get tinder
>get 11 matches in the first 2 days
>week passes by
>haven't spoke to any of them
What form of autism is this? I'm a decent looking guy and kinda feel bad for the girl that thinks, "he's cute, cool we matched" and then never gets messaged. Does anyone else do this? pic unrelated
>>17349074
Wtf where do you live? I tried tinder in my small town and I got 0 matches in days
I even bang hot chicks sometimes so I don't think it should be that low
>>17349094
Southern US, small town but halfway between 2 somewhat large cities so all my matches are 40 miles away
I tired tinder once and the only matches I ever got was when drunk swiping and liking fat chicks. The next day when I took a sober look at them I would get pretty depressed that those were my only options. Then started talking to them when I got drunk again. Only ever hooked up with one and she was a stubby olmeca that stalked me for the next few weeks
my boyfriend doesn't put effort in. felt like this on and off throughout our almost year and a half relationship
he barely talks to me sometimes. sometimes he will go the entire day not talking to me.I'll text him and he barely responds. he never texts/calls me just to talk. whenever he's upset or stressed out he'll tell me, but he won't say why. it makes me feel like he's emotionally distant.
I was away for a week with family, when I came back i expected to see him a lot. I've been back for a week, I've seen him 3 times...
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>>17349065
(cont)
I usually get rewlly attached to people after a while and it's hard for me to let go. i also don't want to regret anything.
we're going on vacation in two weeks, and he bought my plane ticket and is going to be paying for most of it since I haven't been getting hours at work. and I appreciate that but I feel like that doesn't mean in the meantime I should feel neglected/not cared for.
he also sleeps a lot and sometimes i think hes really doing other things and...
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>>17349069
If you don't want to be in a relationship, you don't have to be in the relationship. There's no reason you should ever feel forced to do something you don't enjoy.
also, I think I felt extra bad today because yesterday I asked when I Could see him again and he said today on his one hour break from work (which again, seems sleezy way to spend time with me) and he didn't even text me/ask me about it today. he didn't work till 4 either and makes no effort to see me before work ever. the excuse for the longest time has been that he's sleeping and doesn't text me till after he gets to work at 430, and I've been telling him lately, "wow. I feel like you sleep a lot. I don't think we've hung out/ice talked...
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