Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 610. page
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What feature, physical or emotional, would you have as 10/10 in your girlfriend. everything else is a 7.
This is relative as I've met a lot of girls on Tender and I'm curious which traits /adv/ values.
You can't pick:
Faithfulness
A Dick
>>17208940
Faithfulness
The fuck kinda question is this? Doesn't matter how cute you are if you aren't 100% loyal to your man
My ex was a 9/10 at the worst and she turned out to be a big fucking slut so she had to go
Physical would definitely be green eyes. As long as she's not fat and has green eyes, I'm in love fampai. I don't really know why.
>>17208940
my 10/10 girl is:
no alcohol / cigarets / drugs
wants and is able to have children
emotionally stable even during period
an active person who will force / motivate / help me to be better person myself
loyal enough to never cheat me / clever enough to cheat me without me EVER finding out
as the physical appearance goes I am not that picky (I discriminate only towards gypsies and obese)
So I broke up with my boyfriend because he said he isn't as in love as he used to be in the beginning (whereas I love him more than ever) but he wouldn't break it off because he was afraid he wouldn't find someone as good as me.
This is the story of my life. I had it happen twice before: guy falls in love and when I fall head over heels as well, his feelings fade. I felt lucky those instances hadn't mounted to anything serious yet. But this time around, I was two years with my boyfriend.
So what is it about me? Am I too pretty, not pretty enough? Not interesting enough? Not funny enough? What do I do to break the curse? I really hoped this guy was the one. I'm very disappointed and obviously it won't help me trust guys since their interest always seems to fade after a while.
Either you're a headcase and you're a constant nag and it's been slowly striping him away.
Or you two didn't keep the relationship interesting, socially and sexually.
I'm sure if you sit down and think hard enough about your past relationships you'll find the correlation between their failures.
>>17208938
>guy falls in love
you have just made bad choices so far. next time don't go for the guy that falls quickly (or says they are in love but likely not) take your time, date casually, get to know them and they you before you commit.
>>17208938
Maybe the things that intrest you just arent intresting to the guys you meet?
The only reason i ever bother with women are:
A) is she aesthetically attractive
B) is the sexual chemistry there
C) is she good at, enthusiastic about, and willing to be sexual
D) does she pluck at my sympathetic heart strings
E) does she make me proud of her or proud to know her
F) can i have deep and/or engaging conversations with her
G) can i learn new things from her
H) does she keep me pushing myself to be better
I) can i confide in her my dark, crazy secrets
J) can i trust her to be on my side even if i am wrong
K) can i trust her to be brutally honest when i need it
L) can i trust her to be gentle with my emotions i only let her see
M) can i trust her to be a life long partner, through thick and thin
N) can i trust her to be a mother of my kids
O) can i trust her to be faithful
Sort of in that order. Once i get a Yes to the last part, she's wife.
What personality traits tend to earn you respect (if you're male) in the Western culture? I'm tired of being dismissed as a failure by others.
confidence
ambition
charm
>>17208931
Firstly you gotta be powerful physically. Being fit, taking care of your face and hair, wearing good clothing, all of this will make people judge you as a stronger person when they first see you.
Personality wise, don't be clingy, don't be a dick, don't argue too much. Don't over talk but when you do talk, make it relevant.
And make sure you go outside often and socialise as much as possible.
>>17209039
passive clingy 36yr old skeleton manbaby here, where's the culture whose women would love to cuddle with me all day?
Subject says it all,
When I was younger, I was undiagnosed with ASD and as such, acted like an absolute fucking retard. I didn't even feel like I was fully self-aware at that point. I did some retarded, inane, cringey shit that I honestly wish I could go back in time and kick the shit out of myself for doing.
How do I cope with this? I sometimes meet people I knew back then and I can't help but feel like they've retained their shitty opinions of me from years ago.
Is there any way to dispell this feeling or is it there forever?
>>17208904
Everyone does dumb shit. Well, most people anyway.
I called this girl fat in her face and then tried to blame it on my best friend at the time. I had to sit facing a wall at lunch time for 1 hour and then they called my parents and said what happened.
That was a pretty bad day. My friend kinda stopped talking to me after that.
I don't dwell on it though, because she was fat and I pride myself on telling the truth.
>>17208904
>Is there any way to dispell this feeling or is it there forever?
pic related.
>>17208904
>Don't have autism but seconded
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjPzci894Wg&list=PL19BB19C25E358494&index=22
How does Jeff not kill himself
ex who dumped me for someone else graduation is in 2 1/2 hours. should I go? she posts sht on Facebook like "no matter how much history you have someone don't go back to what hurt you" and "distance yourself to discover you. " and other dumb ass shit. she doesn't sound like she cares either way. but I made her a card and put a lot of effort into it
oh and I was there for her her entire school career while this fag just showed up 3 weeks ago and I kind of want to see him
Perhaps you can compromise. You did make a card but that doesn't mean you have to bother showing up. Can you give the card to some other random person who can then give it to her? A mutual friend maybe.
>>17208901
Your post makes so little sense I'm answering twice
>her graduation is in two hours
Don't go. No point, you'll hate it, it will suck.
>Your graduation is in two hours
Go, this is an important lifelong memory. Don't miss it for a whore
Ok, so I'm a 23 yrs old male, overweight and slightly depressed. All my life I've been into girls, though obviously I have never been much of a womanizer (in addition, it would appear any and all ladies who eventually show interest in me later turn out to be batshit crazy) and also have a sort of "feminine" personality (meaning I don't give half a fuck to stereotypes, and actually find it amusing when people try to offend me by calling me "gay"). My friends and I have been apart for a while now, what with having actual jobs and shit; so I usually turn to the internet to find some company, if for just a few hours.
So, I found this dude the other day on Omegle (yeah, whatever). At first I thought he was a girl (we were doing text-only), and I was getting really interested. He was smart, funny and seemed to be into me as well. When he revealed he was a gay guy I was shocked for a second, but didn't let it show because he was being so nice. We end up talking about sexuality, I tell him about how I never strongly identified as straight, he's pretty much assuming I'm full on bi. Long story short, we talked for a few hours and then he gave me his number.
As we start texting, he's starts very openly flirting with me. He's an insanely handsome guy, and I'm just appaled at the fact he's into me (he says he doesn't care about looks, that he's been fat in the past, yadda yadda yadda; but I just assume he has a fat fetish. Not like I would mind it, though). By this point I'm seriously considering meeting him and, you know, "seeing what happens"; yet the thought of having sex with a guy (or, well, with someone who has a penis) still doesn't sit well with me. I foolishly decide to be honest with him, and he changes immediately: says he won't be "hitting on me" anymore, and that he can get any guy he wants (which is probably true) so why would he want someone who isn't even attracted to him?
So basically now we're not talking anymore. (cont.)
>>17208787
(cont.)
I still think a lot about him, and the thought of just kissing and cuddling with him feels very arousing; in fact, I did have an erection (sorry if this is too much, I just had to mention it) while we were talking, but I'm sure it was caused by his flirting rather than anything else. Although I feel no sexual attraction to his body, I'm convinced I'm in love with the motherfucker. I'm really, really confused.
tl;dr: I'm not sure if I'm bisexual or not. What do?
>>17208787
>I'm not sure if I'm bisexual or not.
The easiest way how to find out is just let him "do" you. You will see if you like it or no and which side (up/down) you like more. Invest in condoms and lube. In the worst case scenario you will run away screaming or raped.
>I'm in love
Yea mate sure. You are just excited that another human being can be interested in you. First date, kiss, sex whatever is always more intense.
>What do?
Try to actually get girls on real dating sites or go with a guy. Don't let the homophobia destroy your curiosity. It is better to experiment now than regret it for rest of life.
>>17208864
First of all, thank you for replying! It means a lot.
Now, I didn't literally mean I love him; only that he strikes me as a sort of "perfect partner" (he's handsome, funny, smart, we have similar tastes etc), and even if I didn't enjoy his company (and I most certainly do) it felt really weird to "reject" him. I like him, and telling him I wasn't attracted was, in retrospect, a pretty bad move.
And yes, I think a sort of ingrained homophobia may be the reason why I can't bring myself to accept the idea (my family is very conservative); that actually only makes me feel worse, because it's like I'm a bigoted douche who's hurting someone's feeling because he can't deal with his own issues. It's complicated.
As for letting him do me, I was actually willing to. I told him. I said that, even if I wasn't gonna have any pleasure (which would hardly be the case, but whatever), I'd still fuck him (or let him fuck me) just for the hell of it. It was him who said he wouldn't do it under those circumstances.
But like for real how do I get a makeout buddy? I'm 25 years old at least a 7 out of 10 and 115 pounds. I'm talking to like 5 guys rn but all we do is chill. How DO ugh.
#sexualfrustration
That is me idgaf if you don't believe me
have you tried kissing them you autist
I hate instigating things.
>match with a girl on Tinder
>she's a really hot, tall and skinny blonde with a slightly androgynous look, could easily be a fashion model
>assume she's a bot
>she messages me, we talk and she proposes a date, gives me her contact info
>she seems fun and works in similar field as me
>wants me to teach her some work related stuff
Now here's the kicker. She's really not my type. I can easily tell she's super attractive and hot, but I find myself attracted to short, cute girls.
What the fuck do I do? I wouldn't mind having her as a friend, but she's really not my type. Not to mention, I'm a goddamn virgin, almost 27 and with no dating experience whatsoever. I agreed to the date because I'm lonely as fuck and thought it would be a good chance to get some experience, but now I'm starting to hope she won't like me when we meet in person. There's something about her type of looks that I find somewhat intimidating.
She reminds me of pic related.
>>17208751
You are right get some experience. That means take things as far as they will go. If she wants to fuck then you fuck. Stop being afraid of everything and lose your virginity. You have nothing to lose, except for your virginity of course.
whereas my type would be someone like this
>>17208765
Well that's a good point and that's what I thought as well. But the more I started thinking about it the more I feel like I'm not attracted to her physically at all. Essentially I'm wondering what the fuck is wrong with me, when I can clearly tell she's super hot.
So, here is the story. I matched with this girl on tinder that I semi recognized. Apparently like 6 months ago we matched, and she was sending me booby pics to see my dick on snapchat, because it is apparently "huge". I lost my phone, and we never talked after that, I didn't remember her at all.
Then we matched last night and started talking, and this happened. My question is, is this bitch nuts, or just really fucking forward/horny? My ability to gauge whether or not a girl is crazy is really bad, so before I go any further I'd like to know.
There are 4 images of this chat, and yes I am aware I said "uh" a lot, I had been up 32 hours, please forgive. I'll be posting the next pictures of the conversation.
Is this a spider bite?
It feels weird and now i'm starting to feel weird but that could just be anxiety, Please help.
Yes. You're going to die.
>>17208710
Shave your balls, bro.
>>17208723
Not my balls
Been sleeping around on Tender. Always garbage the condom like normal. Thing is, some of them are less than gorgeous and I just got to thinking could one of them dig it out of the trash and impregnate themselves? Anyone know how long sperm can live in a condom? I buy standard durex. Advice or personal experience welcome.
Sperm dies in contact with air.
You're good man. Sperm dies quickly if it doesn't go into something that is body temperature or above body temperature without special precautions like they do when freezing sperm
>>17208706
Flush it down op, always. Wrap it in something and save it in your pocket for a later flush if you have to.
>bored and depressed
>decide to better life
>spend time figuring out a real career choice, pick
>go to training
>meanwhile find a qt and start building a long term relationship
>rocky path, but finish training
>get into a stable place with qt, spend 1.5 years together
>pursue my creative interests
>get a job in my field that pays well
Barely months in, I am now bored of the job, I broke up with qt because I am bored and depressed in her presence; we've been off and on since then because she wants to be with me, but I miss her when I'm not with her and feel trapped when I am. I'm making money but I am living for my days off, and on my days off I don't know what to do cause I'm tired of my creative output and don't feel fulfilled, even though people seem to enjoy it and say I'm getting good.
What the fuck now? I'm a bored, depressed sack of shit whenever I'm not just playing games or sports with friends for some slight respite.
One bump.
what career did you en up getting into?
>>17208804
Welder.
whats the cure for lazy
self disgust
A good ass kicking from life
Passion
My husband is developing a huge beer gut and back fat, and it's really turning me off. He's 32, about 5'10", and now weighs nearly 230 lbs. He used to be around 175-180 lbs. Even his dick looks smaller now.
I've always been thin (5'9" and 135 lbs) and I count calories and work out regularly.
He used to be in good shape and worked out/lifted weights daily. But now he drinks alcohol way too much (6 or more drinks in a night), eats constantly, and doesn't work out anymore.
I make healthy low-calorie dinners, but afterward he'll just eat more junk food (that he buys) and drink more beer. I've pointed out how much additional calories he's eating just from the alcohol alone, and how he needs to cut back from drinking because of health reasons. I try to suggest that he works out with me, but he just doesn't do anything to get in better shape. He cut back the drinking by a couple drinks per day, but now smokes weed again (which I don't care, but it's the fact that he's always replacing one vice with another). He can't ever be completely sober.
The thought of fucking him grosses me out. Whenever we do fuck, it's a chore, and I only do it to satisfy him. I close my eyes and think of other men to get through it.
I don't want to hurt his feelings but I'm losing my attraction towards him. I know it sounds superficial, but it bothers me that he's let himself go already and isn't doing anything to change it. I want him to be healthy, and not turn into a fat sack of shit that will die of a heart attack when he's in his 40s.
Should I just be blunt about it? What should I say to him that will finally sink in?
>He can't ever be completely sober.
and you're worried about the fact that he's fat? he's probably gonna kill himself before he dies of a heart attack, it sounds like he's going through depression or some other mental illness. not caring about how you look when you previously did and acquiring a casual drinking habit is pretty blunt as far as symptoms go.
>What should I say to him that will finally sink in?
>The thought of fucking him grosses me out. Whenever we do fuck, it's a chore, and I only do it to satisfy him. I close my eyes and think of other men to get through it.
>I don't want to hurt his feelings but I'm losing my attraction towards him.
You have to hurt his feelings. Some hurt feelings are good now and then.
>>17208664
Of course I'm worried about this as well. It bothers me just as much, if not more, than him being fat. I've talked to him about him always needing to be on something and he always dismisses it. I've mentioned that he should go on an anti-depressant but he just makes excuses about "not being able to get off work and go to the doctor," which is bullshit. He could easily get off of work if he wanted to.
My girlfriend and I usually get along very well, but there's this one argument that we seem to have again and again.
We're both seniors in high school who just graduated, and we both did theater.
There's this one girl in our theater department, Anna, who's a great singer and actor, but my girlfriend despises her. She hates that our director gave leads to Anna instead of her, and she thinks that Anna is a terrible singer and actor.
A few months ago, my girlfriend asked me if she thought that Anna was a better singer than her. I do think Anna is a better singer, and I don't think my girlfriend is a very good singer. I didn't answer the question, but she knew that I thought Anna was a better singer. We got in a big argument over it.
My girlfriend never let this go. She'll bring up how bad of a singer Anna is ALL THE TIME, and will say that it makes her feel bad that I think Anna is a better singer. After some time I just submitted to her and lied, saying that I thought she's better than Annna.
I love my girlfriend so much, but this argument that she keeps rehashing gets on my goddam nerves. I just want her to let it go.
I need advice.
>>17208618
you need to actually tell her because you're not lying to anyone at this point the next time she brings it up. and just tell her how you feel about her, like actually make sure you use words and emotion in your voice and body language.
also it gets better in college
here's a recording of Anna singing "hopelessly devoted" from Grease:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1R3imtAtTvu
Is she the worst singer you've ever heard or is she decent?
>>17208618
the correct response is:
i like your singing better than hers.
Take it from someone who's been married a long time. Don't fight it, don't say what you think. It's not worth the fight.
