Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 573. page
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Dear /adv/
I've spent much of my life with a phobia of vomiting. I would no longer say I have a phobia--more of an obsession at this point--but I do have very limited experience with the subject. I've only thrown up something like 10 times in my life. And the last one was five years ago.
Anyway, I'm quite interested in the subject. You might call it an obsession.
I'd love it if you all could tell me what you know about it. Perhaps share some experiences you've had throwing up. Talk about what it's like. How you feel about it? Does it frighten you? How long does it take you to recover after you throw up? How often do you throw up?
Thanks!
HEY OPIE ARE YOU ME? It's called emetophobia. I've gone many years without vomiting knock on wood. I don't know how normal people can't be fucking terrified. It's an awful feel.
The worst feels are when you're sick and you have to do it
I used to throw up on command. I was a really shity kid, and whenever I didn't get my way I'd throw up on everything. My max was 7 times in a row with only a pause to breath. Can't do it anymore though, and I really don't want to.
>>17221860
Interesting.
Can you describe how exactly you did it? How you figured it out?
How do you deal with being ugly? How do you accept that the only solution is plastic surgery that you can't afford? I have a receding hairline and I haven't even reached 23 yet. Sometimes I want to say its the critical inner voice or whatever, but I end up looking in the mirror and I just hate everything I see.
Go to your local walmart and buy some minoxidil, and start putting it in your hair. It only costs like twenty dollars for a 3 month supply.
If you start early enough you can probably avoid further significant hair loss at least until you're in your 40s.
You might even grow some back on your temples.
>>17221664
Is minoxidil the best treatment out there right now?
Which is worse - ugly or manlet?
I broke up 6 months ago after a 5 year long relationship. I'm still not even close to being over it yet, but I pretend that I do to everyone else around me. I just want to find someone I can trust, hug them and cry a lot. What the fuck do I do, /adv/? I feel so fucking lonely because even though I have friends and people that care about me, I don't /can't show them what I'm truly feeling.
>>17221630
I know exactly how you feel. A few months ago I got cheated on and dumped on a 4 year relationship. It still haunts me, its all I think about. But I put on a smile and try to make the best of everything. What's important is that you are there for you. But as for your question, I often slip in some pretty 'dark' comments about the way I feel, but in a humorous way that matches the way I'm trying to seem happy. For example, if someone asks me why I'm so happy, I'll say "I'm not, but if I don't pretend to be I'll probably kill myself because I'm alone and miserable!" The response is usually a laugh follows by them sympathizing with me. Its all about your tone, have a positive tone, but say what you feel. You won't get over it by doing this, nothing will magically make you get over it, but this definitely helps me. Make sense?
>>17221630
Make more friends or become closer to current friends. Write a journal of your emotions. Everyone will tell you 5 months is jack shit for the most part.
Exercise as well and improve yourself so you can look back on breaking up from a better place.
you never get over it, you just somehow live with it, make piece with what is
i broke up a 2.5 year long relationship last august, i broke up but its a long story. anyway, i still feel as if it was a few weeks ago, even though a lot of things happened in my life in the meantime.
dont fight that feeling. its the way you are. the more you fight it the more it makes you feel horrible. adapt to it, acknowledge it and be yourself.
Sometimes I think about going back to the people that fucked me up in the past. That I need some kind of closure.
Sometimes I think that in order to move on, I need to explain to them the effect they had on my lives, and just let them know, how much they fucked me up. But then I stop myself to think, what if they just don’t give a shit? What if they just don’t remember? What if I’m the only one who didn’t move on? Would I still have had anything to gain? But maybe I won’t know unless I try, says the idealistic voice in my head.
I recently watched a cringe comp that included a video of some gay guy calling his “bully” from high school, to let him know that he fucked up him because of all the shit he did to him. It was considered cringe because the bully had very obviously moved on and was just like, “oh well uh, sorry you felt like that. But you know uh, everyone in high school was a shit head so uh, yea, sorry I guess.” And the gay guy couldn’t hold back his disappointment. To everyone else it was hilariously embarrassing, and honestly, it kinda was.
But, there was a shade of disgusting sympathy I couldn’t ignore. I’m afraid I’ll end up like him. That guy wanted to kill himself every day because of his bully, and upon reaching out to him to let him know about the burden he's been carrying all those years, the dude just didn’t give a fuck. He must have been crushed. So what’s the point? What do I expect from going back to contact all these people? Being friends with them again? Would it even work out considering I could not fully enjoy the friendship knowing the atrocious shit they did to me in the past?
(1/3)
“But part of living is learning how to work things out with people so the relationship can move on”, is a sentiment that sometimes floats around in my head.
What if they have felt the same towards me this whole time? But why the fuck does it always have to be ME that is the bigger person, why the fuck is it always ME that has to be the one to go out of my way to reach out? Ive always been the one who gave the shits in the friendship. No one has ever put in the effort to keep in contact with me. No one has ever cared about me enough to send the message first. No one has ever cared about me enough to ask me to hang out sometime. It’s always been me. I know I sound like a little bitch, but I can’t help but feel as if THEY should be the ones trying to reach out and contact me after all these years first, im so sick of always being the bigger person. After years of being the only person who exerted the effort to uphold friendships, please find it forgivable that I want to show weakness for once.
Ive logged into FB after several years of leaving it, and checked old messages and people.
There are people I wish to thank, apologize, and confess to.
But what if I don’t feel better and all I do is just reopen old wounds? Is it truly better to let sleeping dogs lie?
How do I move on then? How do I live?
Its been years since ive spoken to these people, ranging from 7 to 3 years. I just turned 20, and I want to stop being depressed. These are going to be the best years of my life. And I don’t want to be held back by my past, I want to be happy. I want to go out and make friends, have a relationship, feel like I belong somewhere and people actually want me there. I want to be happy. I just want to fucking live.
(2/3)
Ive prewritten everything, and even compiled a list of people from my past I wish to say various thing to. Ranging from telling them how much they fucked me up, to thanking them, or being sorry for acting like an asshole. Ive written reasons to reach out to each individual, and am trying to decide whether its worth stirring up the waters. I expect nothing from these people. No apologies, no acceptance, no tears, no smiles, nothing. All I want is for them to truly understand what effect they had on my life. I just want them to understand, and I want to tie up these loose ends on a note of true, mutual understanding. I just fear they won’t cooperate or make an effort to understand. In the back of my head, I expect it to happen. I’m just nurturing this vulnerable hope it won’t.
Please adv, give a shit about me.
Tell me if the list is worth re opening these old wounds, tell me if it’s the ticket to my salvation. Ive carried this weight for so long, and I want to take the steps to move on and not be depressed anymore. My life has been nothing but something to endure. I had a shitty childhood, shitty teen years, and now that I’m approaching my young adult years, don’t want this to be another shitty chapter of my life.
(3/3)
T L D-FUCKING-R
First time cat owner. I think she's in heat
She's making weird noises and rolling around everywhere. And sticking her butt in the air a lot. Very weird behavior.
What should I do? Just ignore her? Give her extra attention?
I want to have kittens later but it sounds like she doesn't like being in heat. I'll get her spayed if that'll make her feel better.
Tl;dr- is a cat in heat gonna be okay?
It's completely normal of a cat in heat. If you want kittens, get another cat that would mate her/him. If not get Him/her fixed. Kittens are super cute and nice. (Well for me anyways)
Has your cat ever been potty trained? If so, that's good news. There mother will teach him where to do their business.
I been a cat owner since I could remember and my childhood cat is on her last few years. She's 13 years old. I'm surpised she can run, jump. She acts like a normal cat.
>>17221533
please don't breed her, get her fixed. There are plenty of kittens in shelters that need homes. kittens are gassed in droves at shelters. save a life and adopt a kitty
but anyway your cat is going to be ok. this is all natural and it will run its course without you needing to do anything.
>>17221647
This actually. Unless you plan to keep your kittens or give them to people you can trust, don't breed it. Spaying is optional
i've got a fuckin great bf. now it's just a matter of keeping him. he's got super vanilla fantasies and i've got freaky shit going on in the brain.
what do i do when i fantasize about weird shit while the bf and i are doing anything sexual? i could either choose to not fantasize about anything and take at least 20 minutes to cum, or i could fantasize that i've got a dick and he's sucking it when he goes down on me and i cum at least twice as fast.
how the fuck do i train myself to cum to normal vanilla shit instead of that weird stuff? i only listed one example of weird stuff i fantasize about, the list is pretty long
Talk to him about your fantasies and see if he wants to participate in them
>>17221523
he's not up for anything that even resembles gay stuff, so i'm not sure how to tell him "hey, when you go down on me i usually imagine i've got a dick and you're sucking it". It's either tell him about that or the bestiality fantasies, and i'm honestly not sure which would be better to tell him.
>>17221528
Just give it time. Don't open up to him about your weird kinks until he knows you well enough to accept you despite them.
Why do you have to tell him what you're fantasizing about? just do it in your head dude.
Meet a guy online, talk to him for a month and we live about 1 hour away from each other. Finally decide to go out on a date, it goes really well. He's very sweet to me, we have a lot of fun, he's paying for everything. After this we follow up with 4 more dates, basically weekly, either me driving to his side of town or him coming to mine. Eventually we have sex, amazing chemistry, a lot of fun on the dates, he pays for everything, invites me to stay over a few nights on the days I'm on his side of town (only do this once). Blah blah blah. So from what he's told me he has a history previously with a very upsetting break up and he's been diagnosed bipolar. So he told me early on he was nervous about dating again, but things seemed to be getting so great and I was really excited. After our last date (5th date, second time we had sex, I stayed the night at his house) I sent him a text the following day telling him that I was really happy to be spending time with him and I was looking forward to what things hold for us. This scared him because it was too serious, but I felt upset because after all the intimacy we shared and how into each other we seemed, it only felt natural to express my excitement for a potential relationship. He abruptly told me he things we should "take a break" and hasn't talked to me since, except when I sent him a message telling him I respect his wishes and hope if he ever wants to continue anything to let me know. Now it's been nearly a month and I can't stop thinking about him. I want to send him a message but I don't know what to say. Even if he doesn't want a relationship I'd still like talk to him, I feel like things stopped so abruptly and didn't get any answers. I know he's stubborn and might just not want to talk to me at all, but I still had a really great time with him. Maybe I want closure? Should I try harder to move on or try to find out what's going on? The sex was amazing and we had such a nice time together/a lot of interests.
>>17221451
My mom is exactly like this and she's bipolar as well. She meets a guy, they get serious, then the very second the guy expresses his happiness and love, she flips the fuck out "he was getting too serious too quickly ugh!" and cuts him off for good.
Honestly it might be best to give him up, this guy sounds unstable and might have problems committing if you ever manage to get him to take you back.
>>17221482
that's true. I feel like I have this complex to be totally interested in "complicated, damaged" guys, but it might be too much trouble. I'm just sad because it was soo good.
>>17221451
Holy shit a month went by and he hasn't talked to you? Give up on him and move on, he's probably even fucked another girl.
Definitely don't contact him again. No doubt he'll get lonely one day and text you because he'll think he has you just waiting around. You don't sound like his goal here, you just sound convenient for him.
Anyone here have a happy ending to a long distance relationship? Where do you two used to live? What made you realise that the sacrifise of relocation is worth it and that they will not cheat on you or treat you poorly after relocation?
if there is trust, respect, love, and healthy communication before the relocation, hopefully you'll make it work and both be happy.
When my partner moved to japan for a year, it was tough. We had our ups and downs and times were we didn't think it would work. We were still new to the relationship and our downs were not for lack of trust, but from the time difference of 16 hours and leading two very different lives at the time. We learned new and sometimes upsetting facts about one another this way and because there was no physical face to face or comforting touch, things sometimes got misinterpreted or we acted rashly out of frustration. Wewere never mean or cruel to one anotherand so he was always worth the difficult times. I'd see him every three months for a month at a time and that certainly helped. One year later, back on the same continent, we're still together <3
>>17221365
>Anyone here have a happy ending to a long distance relationship?
Met him on a MMO when I was 13, through his then girlfriend. She did bad shit to him, I tried to help him get through it, and then he disappeared for a time. Then he came back to the game, I pursued him, and entered a LDR when I was 15 or so. With my mom's permission, he was allowed to visit every few months, when he had money for a plane ticket. I'm in my late 20s now and we're still very happy with each other.
>Where do you two used to live?
I've lived all over the place, but I was in Massachusetts before I moved. I relocated to his hometown in Georgia.
>What made you realise that the sacrifise of relocation is worth it and that they will not cheat on you or treat you poorly after relocation?
He's an honorable person and I was able to see how he treats his women. Even when his ex treated him like garbage, to the point where he had to break up because he couldn't take it anymore, he was never an asshole. Before I relocated at 20, he would blow his hard earned money to visit me and my family. At 18, my mom gave me a ticket to go see him. What should've been a visit for a few weeks turned into living with him for nearly a year. We were incredibly happy.
He put his everything into the relationship early on--if I was a bad person, I could've easily taken advantage of him. He's also honest to a fault.
As for cheating and poor treatment, one should always have some type of backup plan before jumping into something like that. Whether or not you're relocating, a relationship is always a gamble.
I've been in a LDR for over 4 years now, in a 5-6 year relationship. I wouldn't change it for anything, even though it downright sucks sometimes. I have no idea when I'm going to see him again. I have no idea when we're going to officially live together. And I'd rather it be this way than if I'd left him for some other dude
so me and my slut of an ex are finally done. i dont give a fuck except for the fact i dont see myself getting pussy anytime soon ive tried tinder with no luck what are my options?
suck my dick tbhdesu
>>17221309
i used to fuck girls from craigslist. but that shit is risky and toxic. id like to meet a girl somewhere to fuck im done with internet apps but i have no idea where or how to achieve that.
>>17221322
I've considered meeting a girl on craigslist before, can you share your experience?
Hello, I am a 20 year old female. For the entirety of my life I have never had any self-confidence. I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression Disorder, and Dis-associative Identity Disorder. I find it hard to see anything positive or attractive about myself. I've been told that I'm beautiful and have a lovely personality, but I don't see it within myself. How can I gain self-confidence when I've always been so down about myself? Is it possible to think positively about oneself after so long of living a life of negative thoughts?
>>17221272
I battle with the same demons. Best thing to do is to put yourself out there, find activites and social interaction. Start conversations with strangers and if you're feeling frisky, with men you are attracted to. The most important thing to remember though is to take note of the nice things people say to you and about you and use those things to create a personal image of yourself because those things are the best aspects of you that people see so build around them. sorry if that seemed longwinded.
>>17221294
Thank you for the great advice. Life is hard to deal with. I have no hobbies or interests anymore. Depression has overtaken every aspect of my life. So, finding things I enjoy is a hard thing to do.
>>17221272
If you want to be confident, you need to be happy. So do the things that you know you are supposed to do to feel happy. Simple as that.
Hey /adv/
>Had a 3 year ldr relationship
>ended around January bec he cheated on me (he did this while he was visiting me in my home country btw)
>I tried fixing it by telling him that I'll forget everything if he will just drop any contacts with the chick but he refused
>obv we broke up
>we stopped messaging each other
>got depressed and shit but overcame it
>around May I'm already feeling better
>then he started messaging me again
>said the relationship between him and the chick didnt work out bec they want diff things or something
>asking for a second chance
>said he will never do that again etc etc (insert flowery words here)
>I didn't give a firm answer bec I didnt really want to be in a relationship atm but we started talking again like we used to
>he went to another country for vacation with his family
>he got drunk almost every night while he's in another country (most of the time alone or with another tourist)
>his mom and bro started messaging me that he took a local chick back to the hotel and went on a date with this tourist and shit
>I didnt really have the right to get mad bec we were technically not back together
>but that kinda hurt me so I was like "ok im so done with you already bye"
>and now he keeps on messaging me that nothing like that happened that he didnt have sex with anyone nor took anyone on a date or something
>said it was just a friendly gesture and he was just concerned bec he didnt want local chick to drive home drunk
>said the chick got her own hotel room and didnt stay at his etc
Idk /adv/ I dont really believe whatever he's saying anymore. I've already lost my trust in him even before this trip. But what do you think? Should I hear him out and give another chance?
>>17221153
no, forget him. you're the safety net when his other pursuits don't work out. you don't want that for yourself.
Tf you should have stopped talking to him ages ago. It doesn't matter what he did/didn't at the hotel, his attitude is shitty in general. Wake up anon.
>>17221153
you probably deserved it. just something to think about
I have $10
How can I painlessly and smoothly kill myself with 100% accuracy for $10
No need to talk me out of it
inject bleach into the carotid artery
Jump of a sky scraper , it's free
>>17221096
Does not sound painless.
>>17221104
Those 4 seconds of regret are too much.
Hey, femanon here
So my boyfriend says he has some sort of fetish, but I don't know what to call it. It's similar to the cuckold fetish I'd say, except it's not. He wants to see me get it on with another girl, except I'm straight. Now, I have no problem with that. We met up with the girl yesterday and we started making out. Again, I'm not aroused or attracted to women but I do it for my boyfriend because he really likes it. Then we went down on each other and she made me cum way faster than my boyfriend ever has. Again, not because I was attracted to her. Getting eaten out just feels good, regardless of who it is.
Now he's feeling really insecure because he thinks that I enjoyed a girl more than him. I've already assured him that it wasn't the case, and I just tried to make him happy. But he doesn't seem to understand. What do I do?
Well he's the one who made you make out with another girl. You did it for him.
He made his own bed, now he has to sleep in it.
I mean he should figure this out himself.
>>17220888
make him get a blowjob from a gay guy, so he'll notice that oralsex from your own gender is always better
Sup /adv/, at a tipping point and I don't know what to do.
Basically I'm 22, only had a couple of ONS that didn't really go well and they were like 2 years ago. Basically due to a combo of my own insecurities and self confidence I'm gash with women. This has lead me to just watch more and more porn. Now eventually I've watched a lot of really self degrading stuff like femdom etc and I've ended up making a profile on a swinging site.
Now I dunno what it is, but I don't mind cross dressers/t-girls etc and long story short I've been messaging a CD and have swapped pics, including my cock. Now post fap etc I don't know where I stand. I mean, I'm straight etc but I enjoyed the fap, think so because this was the first time in a long time someone's taken an interest. Now I'm confused as to what I am and if I want to go through and meet etc. I have a fantasy of being topped but at the same time I don't think I could go through with it. Thanks for reading the blog post and any thoughts would be helpful
You won't know until you've tried it?
>>17220770
You will feel disgusted after cumming because this is just a symptom of increased tolerance to vanilla porn.
Do it if you're adult enough to not be ashamed by being something other than heterosexual. If you are immature, which you honestly come off as, then avoid it as it will probably haunt you forever.
I dont really got the problem here,someone please send help.
-Pic not related
My sister has a new bf, who is very private, doesn't go to our family events and doesn't seem to want to be involved in the rest of me and my sisters famlies or friends lives. He has a decal like this on the back of his car I noticed yesterday when I saw him leaving the grocery store when I was going in
What does these symbol mean? My friend said two guns crossing is a drug trafficker symbol
Yes because obviously someone who traffics drugs for a living is going to advertise that.
You're both idiots and he probably just likes the decal/guns.
>>17220594
/thread
>>17220572
He's obviously a pirate.
