Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 494. page
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>finally manage to get a few things straight in my life
>getting better socially
>meet people and make friends
>some of them are younger than me
>their at the "oh yeah I'm working on my finals and working in a company for my project" point in their life
>I dropped out of school 4 years ago and did nothing
I'm really afraid I fucked up my situation beyond...
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I'm on a somewhat similar boat. You are older so you don't know if they aren't gonna fuck up like you or worse when they reach your current age. It's normal that their hopes and expectiations are high at this time of their lives. You are older and in some aspects probably wiser. You can still help them out sharing your life experience. And it's never too late to change and make your life better, the fact that you met these cool people is probably a sign of things starting to get better in general. Not saying there won't be downs though but at least...
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>>17248735
>You are older so you don't know if they aren't gonna fuck up like you or worse when they reach your current age
They're just about to give their finals, I'm 25 and I dropped out of hs and I have no real work experience.
I can't teach them anything, I think it's more likely I should try to learn something from them.
>>17248747
Well that's not a bad thing, I'm learning a lot from my friends who are mostly 4 years younger than me. As long as you feel you are a good person and try to improve yourself a bit you should feel better. It also helps to do some charity work and help people in need, it boosts your self esteem.
Was going to ask /biz/ but they don't seem to like single-question threads. I need to fund college for this year (need ~$9000 in loans to commute up to class), and will be attending for at least 2 years to acquire Bachelor's.
I'm very uneducated about loans, but I can get a few student loans from banks that offer variable interest rates, which average a 3.75%-9.50% starting rate based on credit, and a max of 20% interest rate when fluctuating. My credit is above-average, thankfully.
My main question is whether or not those are good rates? Are variable interest loans worth getting or are they generally very unstable?
>>17248720
>Are variable interest loans worth getting or are they generally very unstable?
Depends on what they variate against.
>>17248724
Looking at the one I'm leaning towards (Wells Fargo):
>This loan has a variable interest rate that is based on a publicly available index, the Prime Rate. Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between .24% and 6.24% to the Prime Rate. The Index (which is the Prime Rate) is subject to a contractual minimum of %. The rate will not increase more than once a month and will never exceed % (the maximum allowable for this loan).
>>17248730
>Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between .24% and 6.24% to the Prime Rate.
Great, now what are they basing the .24% vs 6.24% on? I realize you probably don't have the answer, but that would be my next question.
This chart gives you a good idea of what you can expect:
http://www.moneycafe.com/personal-finance/prime-rate/
...within 6% until we figure out waht they base it on.
How can i seduce an introverted guy who thinks i am crazy if i'm an inexperienced virgin. At least 8/10. He remember me when i was 5/10.
>>17248701
>8/10
Highly doubt it.
>8/10
Highly doubt it.
>8/10
I very much doubt it.
My mates gave me their honest opinion that my biggest problem is coming off as condescending. I'd like to know how I become more aware of when I am doing so and how to stop. If it helps, I'm a petite female
Even if you're right about something just don't be a dick about it. Be understanding of why they would have that opinion and rather than just say "obviously this way is the right one" explain the reasoning that got you to your perspective. No one is right all the time. Everyone has been 100% sure of something that was not true, so don't express yourself as if you never have.
>>17248625
bump
>>17248625
Stop thinking you're superior or your opinion is superior to others. That's a start.
i'm not Muslim but i have an Arabic sounding name.
i already got shit for it in the past and its obviously not gonna get any better.
how can i change my name ?
Google it Ahmed. Just like a dirty muslim to think they are entitled to everyone else solving their problems. Look up the fucking legal process in your area.
What country are you in?
>>17248616
It didn't seem to inhibit Barack Obama much.
I fucked up /adv/. I got caught speeding and the officer who pulled me over searched the car because he smelled weed. He found the bag and gave me an appearance ticket. He told me to just plead guilty and pay the 100 dollars which I'm inclined to want to do but then that's on record forever. I also have to deal with this speeding ticket, which is my second one. Can I take another defensive driving course to get rid of the points on my license? I'm 21 but still on my parents' insurance so I don't want them finding out about this. Is there anyway I can...
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>>17248581
>I fucked up /adv/.
As long as you're aware.
>I got caught speeding and the officer who pulled me over searched the car because he smelled weed.
Normally I'd gloss over speeding. But why are you speeding if your car smells like weed, when you know specifically that is drawing police attention towards yourself? This isn't fucked up, this is fucking retarded.
>He found the bag and gave me an appearance...
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>>17248602
Follow-up: Can I tell my parents about the speeding ticket and deal with that entirely separately from the weed charge? I was issued separate tickets
>>17248581
>>17248602
>Is there anyway I can get a free lawyer and make this as pain free as possible?
The closest you're getting is what I'm giving you now.
>I'm fine to pay whatever money or do whatever community service, my biggest priority is keeping my parents out of the loop on both charges and to not fuck up my insurance.
If that was actually your priority you wouldn't have...
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is life worth living for non rich people?
seems like life is 60% work (job, school, taking care of things at home)
35% bullshit
and 5% fun and enjoyment
women are also a pain in the ass, unless you are extremly lucky and manage to find some great decent gf material girl
im considering suicide, i cant see whats so good about life
>>17248451
non-rich people? you don't get rich without working either hard or smart. if you're not capable of doing either you end up a normie.
>>17248467
Your opportunities to work hard or smart are entirely dependent on the capital your family has accrued. The system is stacked against you.
>>17248467
>you don't get rich without working either hard or smart
Being born is neither hard nor smart work, and a lot more of them get it that way than they'd rather admit to you.
>>17248451
Ditch drama, keep a small group of close friends instead of a sprawling hellhole of backstabbing acquaintances, fuck social media, stop watching hours of TV each day and only come here when you're able to do something more productive...
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Can you recommend me some books? I prefer self-improvement books
The Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovic is good.
it's very macho and the dude seems like a total self centered asshole most of the time and I couldn't care less about his past which he describes in detail in some parts of the book but some of the advice he gives is actually really great. And it's not that long either.
>>17248464
Free Will by Sam Harris
The Motivation Hacker
How to Win at College
Confessions of a Recruiting Director: The Insider’s Guide to Landing Your First Job
So Good They Can’t Ignore You
How to be Remarkable
The Personal MBA
Your Money: The Missing Manual
The 4-Hour Work Week
Personal Investing: The Missing Manual
Brain Rules
Confessions of a Public Speaker
Worldly Wisdom: Collected Quotations and Aphorisms
Eat That Frog
>>17248432
The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson.
>>17248464
>>17248498
Can you guys give examples of why any of those are worth reading, as compared to the standard self-help book which basically says "Do shit."
For the finance books listed, as opposed to "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", which can literally be summarized as "Invest your money instead of wasting it."
>in long term relationship with guy
>he never full on cheats, but walks a fine line
>go mental over the uncertainty
>many years pass
>try to become an hero
>break up for obvious reasons
More time passes.
>meet the greatest man I've ever known
>he loves me back
>first few months...
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>>17248429
this is identical to what happened between me and my ex girlfriend
I don't know if it's you, but I forgive you.
There was also my fault and I had my flaws, if it's you, then I wish you luck with this guy and hope he is better than me for you. If not, I hope you'll fix yourself and find the right one, I believe in you.
That's how I really feel deep inside, no matter what you think.
M.
Thea?
I'm done being an acne faced bad hair smelly unfit loser. Never had a parent in my life to teach me anything. Pic not related
>>17248374
the first step is not blaming your lack of parents, a lot of us went through the same thing and came out fine.
second step is taking daily showers because that solves your first 3 problems.
So what do you want?
>>17248391
No shower amigo. Would a bathtub work? I'm not even sure what kind of products to buy
How do you just learn to not give a fuck what others think?
Realize that nothing matters because there will be a point in the future where all human achievement is laid to waste and forgotten and the universe will continue on much the same as if no human had ever existed, and that all pursuits in life are meaningless beyond the inherent meaning they have to you as the observer.
tell yourself "fuck em all because we will all end up dead one day and no matter what we will a be equal so what ever the hell they want to say doesn't actually matter. Also realize the people who say shit are often insecure on the inside and don't know how to conduct themselves properly and you probably have a better chance than they do.
>>17248308
1. Walk into job interview.
2. Don't give a fuck what they think.
3. Don't get job.
4. Like a baws.
1. Ask a girl out.
2. Don't give a fuck what she thinks.
3. Don't get date.
4. Like a baws.
"Not giving a fuck what people think" is a meme.
Watch this for explanation, maybe you will get it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47MazYDnmaU
Here goes /adv
I'm 21 and recently I started gambling, it started around 6/7 months ago on the roulette machines you find inside bookies.
I was paid £550 the Friday just gone and had withdrawn £200 to payback a small loan from a friend. I stopped by a bookies and put in £30 just as a small bet and said to myself I would walk out of there.
45mins to 1 hour later I had gambled £400 away and followed it up the next day with another £140 so I lost £540 in total. The rest went of things for myself just to ensure I was covered for the month.
I...
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>>17248300
Cold turkey.
>>17248300
Realize that casinos exist to make money. You can't win, most of the time. Shit's either rigged or you need to be really really good. See: poker.
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/
Go here immediately. use the hotlines cause these people can help you more than anyone else here can.
My former employer has to give me my last paycheck on Friday. I called him and recorded the conversation. At some point he says I have a big mouth (I called him cheap over text message) and that I should try to talk to him face to face it that he might even show up at my new job site. Doesn't this constitute assault? He threatens me and says that he'll show at my workplace. Could I get a restraining order based on this? I live in Toronto
>>17248289
Calm the hell down. You certainly played your part in instigating this whole stupid bullshit situation. Leave him alone. Don't talk to him any more. Show up on Friday to get your check, then fuck off. He isn't going to do shit. He, like you, talks out of his ass when he gets all riled up.
>>17248296
He had to give it to me on Friday. It was his last day legally to hold my money inside the company. I'm thinking about going into a police station and at least ask for their advice. I know he knows where I work
>>17248289
You have the basis for a wage claim, file one.
Been with my girl a year now, I think she's the one - cute, smart, funny, sweet. Problem is that she has PTSD and an eating disorder. When she's healthy, she's amazing, but when she's sick she's like a completely different person. I just want her to be healthy, which is why we've been long distance the last two months while she's in treatment. But she recently switched to a new treatment center and finally told me that she's completely relapsing. I'm not sure what to do, or what I even CAN do. Any advice? Anyone ever been with an...
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>>17248258
How does she do sexually?
>>17248258
I could never even imagine how to begin dealing with idiots who make up imaginary problems because they don't have real ones. Or worse yet, if they do.
I can't even begin to understand it.
>>17248258
>I'm not sure what to do, or what I even CAN do. Any advice?
Just be supportive and don't encourage any self destructive behaviour.
You can't do anything yourself to actually fix her, that's for professionals.
I have a massive motivation/discipline problem that has become so bad that I basically spend every waking moment wasting time until I go back to sleep. I have so many skills that I'd like to learn and work on every day but I just don't even try anymore.
It's slowly killing me and I can feel myself becoming stupider by the day as a result of literally doing nothing but wasting time and drinking in order to speed up time.
Can anyone help me and give advice regarding how to actually start doing things and stop wasting away.
>>17248208
There is no advice besides "just do it now." With that in mind, start whatever you want to be doing right fucking now. If you can't decide, post a list and I will decide for you.
For the next 3 hours, report to me every 30 mins on what you got done.
Go. Now.
>>17248208
Think about what your life is going to be like at rock bottom, because that's where it's going to be soon if you don't get going.
What are you wasting your time with? I think the best way to stop yourself from wasting time is to completely remove yourself from what you're wasting time with.
>>17248226
What this anon is saying is the "remove all negative" influences first strategy. Basically, two things comes into play here:
1. Not doing anything is easier than doing something, so it's a decent first step.
2. Look at chart - when you go from being bored to working, it's not nearly as painful as going from fun to working, so again, it's breaking up a difficult task into two easier steps.
There are a few problems with this approach:
1. Don't see results nearly...
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