Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 490. page
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Hey /adv/, I'm 19 living in a very bad and abusive household and I want to get out asap, about how much would I have to make to move out on my own?
I'm trying to figure out the price of monthly living in a apartment whose rent would be around 800-950 a month plus the cost of insuring a car and myself along with the cost of all the other commodities.
Anyone recommend a job that'd pay well enough to at least start on being self sufficient?
Location wise, I live in the north central Texas area. And for car, it's already payed for (2005 nissan sentra that as passed down from a late aunt, it's in good mechanical shape and has low miles).
Try moving to a cheaper area. You should NOT be spending $900 on rent. More like 3 or 4 hundred. Spending that much on rent will really fuck you in the long term, considering that you're paying all your own expenses. North Alabama is pretty cheap for example. Three bedroom houses rent for about $550. You'll have to sort the costs yourself, I can't add it for you.
Check out craiglist and find a room mate because costs will be less. I say this because rent alone is a hassle but so is the bills, food, phone, insurance and other things you gotta look for.
Or grind through, work half a year and save up enough where you have enough cushion to fall back on until you get a decent gig.
Job paying? Construction, put in overtime and you should be good. Ask for as many certifications to move up the company ranks.
>>17249906
It's a very nice area, but yea, the cheapest I can find an apartment around here that's at least in a not-shit complex starts at about 650, 750 for something much nicer. I just went a bit high to compensate to give some headroom.
I don't want to move too far tho since I have friends and other, not shit family here.
>>17249910
So far, I have $3600 from that late aunt. But that's all I have right now.
I want to try and get one of my friends to be a room mate, but I'm still looking. I don't trust the people in this general area, tbqh.
Early this morning I showed my vag to a stranger to prove to her I was female cuz her and my bf were calling me a "fat boy".
I've gone below my low point.
My bf is cheating on me with her.
She said we should do a 3 some, I blocked them both.
Its online.
Got no friends.
I'm so lonely, and a virgin.
>>17249876
welp that's sad, but it's not the end of the world
just forget about that people and start taking care of yourself,exercise and get a better diet then when you feel better start talking to new people so you can make new and better friends
>>17249876
Do you live in NYC? If so I'll be your friend.
I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you. But it sounds like you're well rid of anyone capable of being that cruel to someone he dares to call his girlfriend. You did the right thing by blocking them. Resist the urge to have contact with them again.
I realized I'm too stressed to poop. While this may be funny it's quite alarming. I used to poop every day or every other day. No pain no effort. 5 mins or less on the toilet. Now pooping once a week is all I can do despite not changing my diet. I'm just so fuckig stressed from work help
It doesn't help that I live with my family of 4 still as we only have 1 bathroom. When I'm getting ready for work (6 to 7am) they're in there too and it's impossible to get some privacy in there. So I've been trying to go to work earlier just so I can try to shit in peace. But I just don't feel like pooping. Like I know I have to but it won't come out. Lots of gas though.
Anybody know about the reliability of over the counter laxatives, and potentially using them long term?
Just drink prune juice. Over the counter laxatives are likely to give you diarrhoea, or at least feelings of diarrhoea every day and make you difficult to concentrate on work and other daily life.
Don't. As a former bulimic, I'm telling you that taking laxatives long term is a BAD IDEA. Lots of symptoms come with it besides shitting yourself occasionally, the most vibrant of which is called anal leakage. It's when your asshole partially stops working and you drip shit juice into your asscrack and down your balls thru out the day. DONT
Dont take laxstives long term.
Buy some fiber supplements, cost co has some gummies for 15 bucks.
Also stop eating so much bread, that stuff clogs u up
Fuckedy fuck fucking nazi anal Finland painal shit!
Today was so fuckin' shitty.
>Be me
>24 year old faggot who almost does nothing but come home from work everyday and go on 4chan and other steam games.
>only contact I get is with people younger than me over skype
>i hate my fucking life
>half my family is in jail for drug possession
>little brother died four weeks ago
>and now this shit happens
>driving to work, nothing special
>i feel a bump
>im out in the middle of the woods driving through a pass way so i dont know what the fuck i hit
>its a weird ass metal bar
>i get out the car
>i try throwing it out the road
>shit ways a ton
>i pull it out, and i hear a sound
>mfw i look at the hole i just made with the stupid piece of rebar
>it starts expanding
>mfw
>i just get in my car and drive off
>go to work
>come back after my day
>turn on t.v
>camping locals killed by sinkhole, 4 killed, along with their child
>mfw what if i did this bullshit
>contemplating life
what do fellow robots?
Holy fuck, you idiot why would you do that? Listen see a therapist man and get this shit resorted by a professional. Christ.
You probably didn't. Frankly if it was something you were able to run over, it should not have been there for you to run over at all.
First it almost certainly wasn't because of you so don't feel guilty.
Second death can come when you least expect it, it can't be helped.
How do I get laid from OkCupid? I'm not looking for a relationship, only casual sex. I'm 22 y/o and i need a better strategy than just messaging everyone with "DTF?"
Why the fuck would you bother with OKC for hookups?
>>17249784
I think Tinder is better for what you're looking for.
>>17249810
How do I make it clear on Tinder that I'm only seeking casual sex? After I get matched, what should I be saying so that it leads to something casual instead of endless blue-ball dates? How should I be asking them out?
>Have long term, long distance 10/10 gf
>Plan on getting married as soon as we have the money to move
>Everything's going great
>I sometimes have panic attacks, which she always somehow manages to stop
>she falls asleep when we were on the phone while I was having one, she also accidentally hangs up as she does.
>I think she hung up because she doesn't care enough anymore to deal with me
>I text her "I thought you were the one person I could always count on to make me feel better..."
>She wakes up the next morning
>Sees the text & gets super pissed at me
>I send literally 13 messages apologizing for being such an idiot
>She gets more pissed because I'm being too clingy for sending so many messages apologizing
>"I love you. I'm sorry. I promise I'll never be clingy like this again."
>She responds "Just stop."
>She blocks me on all social media, and probably blocked my number too
>have not talked since then
>Her best friend texts me, "I'm sorry, but you should try to get over her."
>One month later = Now
>Already have new 8/10 (not long-distance) gf who literally adores me and we fuck constantly
>still gets panic attacks
>New gf tries to help but never can
>still entirely in love with previous gf
>can't even fuck new gf without missing the old one
>Literally no joy left in life
>depressed as fuck
What do?
>pic not related
Is your new girlfriend aware that she's a rebound?
>>17249766
Entirely. She still thinks the sun shines out of my ass anyways, and I feel like shit I don't love her like I do my previous gf.
First of all, don't depend on someone else to make you feel better because it makes you cling to them, when they aren't there you feel abandoned, and it doesn't help you learn to deal with your own issues. It was wrong for you to put that panic attack burden on her and it's still wrong that youre doing it to someone else you hardly like. I get panic attacks too, but I don't expect my husband to fix them for me. Learn to deal with that on your own.
Second, you need to work on yourself. Build confidence. Get selfhelp books and some new hobbies. This will help you overcome the other girl.
Third, stop seeing this new girl. You're only playing with her feelings and that's fucked up.
I am 25 years old and I'm feeling a little hesitant about going to a festival this summer. How old is too old for these things, where the younger folks are going to look questionably at you if you want to party as hard as they are?
I'm 24 years old
and I don't feel as old as you do
I don't understand what's the problem
>>17249753
Idk, the whole quarter life crisis meme I guess.
I used to worry if I was "too old" to do things a lot, and this what I've learned. If the idea still sounds fun/appealing/enjoyable to you, then you aren't too old for it.
When you're too old for it, you won't even bother going to a festival because the idea of going doesn't sound fun anymore, it'll seem boring or annoying and you would legitimately stay home or do something else with your time.
And if you go and you do feel awkward about your age, just keep in mind it's all in your head and other people won't care unless you keep bringing it up and making a big deal out of it.
What does it mean if she doesn't text back?
>>17249745
She's busy.
She doesn't have anything interesting to say.
She doesn't like you.
She needs time to think.
She is distracted by someone else.
She doesn't communicate via text often.
Blah blah blah.. Could be anything.
>>17249745
Don't waste your time on someone who's not going to reciprocate.
>last week
>hit on coworker
>she'd smile and blush
>would seem sad to see me go (I'd typically get off an hour before her)
>this week
>hit on coworker
>she largely ignores it
>doesn't even seem to notice when I leave
Did I miss my chance?
Should I just back off for a while in hopes of a "reset"?
ye back off for a tick m8, see if she approaches you. if she does, reciprocate. if she doesnt, bugger off
This place so socially stunted.
>>17249736
she doesn't strike me as the type to ever approach first
i'm thinking back off for a few days, then maybe hit on her again and if she reciprocates. if she doesn't, i'll fuck off. plenty of other pussy out there.
When wear no underwears penis leakage stains front of pants advice needed thank you
i adbise u wears underwears then :DDDD
put your penis in your ass, so you'll leak pee in your asshole instead
>>17250100
Dis is also mys advoose
Hey /adv/! I'm gay, and live in a predominantly Muslim neighbourhood (London area). Well after what happened in the US last night I'm scared to leave my flat should I move?
>>17249727
Just start carrying a gun
>>17249807
Guns are illegal here m8.
>>17249727
Well the capital of London is occupied by Muslim invaders so it looks like you'll have to fit into their world.
Try not to act gay in public?
need /adv/ on how to deal with my relationship with my sister
I'm 27 and she's 21. We've never gotten along, even as little kids I hated her. She's just so weird and embarrassing. She has pretty severe OCD and weird tics that she inherited from my dad's side of the family, she failed many of her classes and didn't graduate high school while I excelled before her, she is a huge slut and posts skanky ass photos on instagram with tumblr nonsense like "i'm so cute every day" but in real life.. i don't even know how to describe it.. like she fakes confidence while really having absolutely none at all. She dresses weird, has a bunch of bad tattoos and dates shitty men, and tries to emulate me in stuff like speech patterns (weird) and stalks me on the internet. My parents tell me that she just wants to be as cool as me or whatever (i'm gay and live in LA, have a sweet job, she stayed in our hometown) and I really, REALLY try to love her but I just can't stand being around her. I don't know what to do. She's never done anything BAD, I just don't like her, and I don't know how to fix it.
>>17249720
on that note, she and one of her friends came to stay with me and my girlfriend in LA for four nights and she's spent the whole time acting like a scared animal but being fucking stupid, like not buckling her seatbelt in the car even after I ask her to, then apologizing like crazy and whenever I talk she just says "okay, okay, okay" in this cheerful voice. everything she does just seems so insincere, like she's literally mimicking every single thing she does from me or my parents.
She never has anything to add in conversation and her friend has to talk for her and her friend is fucking annoying but a good friend. She told me "I let her be herself because your mom and dad give her so much shit" (about the tats, men, etc)
I don't know. My sister has been in therapy all her life but I'm pretty sure she's autistic or something.
Fuck it. Cut your losses.
If you can talk to her, and have common ground on some experiences as children in the same hometown, then you'll be alright. Yes, you two are very different. You're probably also pretty different from a lot of people you're close to also. She's never done anything bad, right? If her parents give her shit and neither does her big brother, who's she supposed to turn to when things get rough?
Talking negatively about her won't help you two become closer. Having a positive attitude is key.
tl;dr Girlfriend started cutting and it's raised some flags for me
>been dating for 3 years
>she has "anxiety" and "depression"
>has issues with her mom, so she moved in with me straight away
>has almost no girl friends, but tons of guy friends
>all on the internet though
>is having major family problems right now, trying to be there for her but find the whole situation stupid
>she's started cutting herself over it
The issue is pretty much her mother doesn't support her life choices and prefers her younger brother, so any time they talk it turns into a huge argument. To be honest there were a few red flags to begin with, but I'm a tad worried about how stable she is and whilst I do love her, I feel like there's no future
>she's 28
>has no job
>has no education past high school (had to go back as she left school at 16)
>has social anxiety but happily goes on cam with other guys (though it's usually when I'm around and they can see me)
>>17249676
Yeah, at 28 unless she starts making changes NOW, she has pretty much no future.
She needs to get her shit together immediately, or you're going to have to move on, unless you're equally as futureless.
>28
>cutting
LEAVE
>>17249676
>>has social anxiety but happily goes on cam with other guys
>has almost no girl friends, but tons of guy friends
>>all on the internet though
Pffff, you're getting played like a bitch
>be me
>start dating girl i really like
>everything is going normally
>suddenly she starts talking about the future of our relationship
>oh okay, she wants to clear what we should expect
>go along with it
>eventually kiss and all that, spent hours on that date
>now shes kinda distant, seems like im the only one putting any effort into our relationship
I think we went too fast /adv/. Is there a way to go back a bit or slow down without making things seem weird.
Be honest with her about your feelings. The key to a good outcome in any relationship is openness. Ask her if she's alright, tell her the vibes you've been getting, and tell her how you feel. There's clearly some tension there, and if you take the initiative and be open, she'll respond with openness too. Then, you'll have your answer.
Go text her now, OP. Text the lady you fancy, and connect again
>>17249685
She says everything is fine, she just isnt ready for something serious.
But she doesnt want to cease dating exclusively either. I offered her the way out and to come back when shes ready, but she doesnt want to do that.
>>17249702
Hmm, that's interesting. She sounds a bit confused. I've been in that kind of situation before. She could just be scared of commitment, but hey, what do I know? I'm just an anon on an imageboard.
If she doesn't want something serious, but wants to be exclusive, then what does that make you two?
>Be 27.5
>never had gf
>some dates/stuff in the past (see pic), girls lose interest fast or are just doing it for a pity fuck
>about a 4/10, 5'8, 150lbs. in good shape, low body fat percentage, 4 abs etc
>still in college because military first then college
I've sort of exhausted my social options/groups and there's never been a girl that's ever had so much as a hint of interest.
No problem being social, have a few long-term female friends who I kind of have hit it off with but it was strictly just being friends on their part. Older women seem to feel pretty bad for me.
Not unfuckable but I'm really average and not in a great financial/job place.
Girls just don't seem interested in me.
I'm really just thinking about killing myself as a long term plan now. At 28 my 20s are over and I've missed out on so many experiences people typically have in their 20s. I just can't picture getting to know someone in my 30s and really growing to love them. They just havent known me almost 50% of my life and I don't know them. The whole thing is just a matter of forcing it for the sake of forcing it. Both parties having missed all opportunities before or having none. If either party were players or something it's fine but in 90% of cases it's just people settling.
I really just don't see the point anymore guys. Do I have to stick around to watch everyone get happily married and have amazing jobs, amazing social nights out etc?
I impact no one's life bar my parents, and really I think they'd get over it.
I just can't do it anymore. Every weekend is spent alone, every week bleeds into the other and it's been like this for probably 5+ years now.
Does this get any better? For the people who are alone and in their 30s+ how do you get through it all? Every day I just hate everything and seem to be surrounded by nothing but hate and other people in nothing but pain.
I feel I can just about cope for 5 more years and I'm done. I can't face the absence of hope anymore.
>>17249601
>I'm really just thinking about killing myself as a long term plan now.
You won't, because if you were going to kill yourself, you'd have done it already.
Fuck escort
>>17249605
I mean long term, just a long term plan to take a holiday somewhere nice but with easy firearm access.
Drive out somewhere isolated and end it.
Really if I'm in the same place at 33-35 I think people would understand it.
If I interacted with people on even a weekly basis but all my friends have sort of just "moved on" I guess. I can't blame them, I've no money because I've been doing college the past 4 years. They just always go out with work groups, and a lot of them hate each other because of that now.
Basically our group of friends used to be tight but everyone got a job and suddenly no one hangs out. I ask them all the time "do you ever hear from x", and they just say "nah not in ages". If I ask for a reason they just shrug.
So either people legit just don't have time or at 27 we've all decided our friendship really didn't mean much.
