Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 481. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 481. page
Hi /adv/ im a 22yo guy and i have a pretty fucked up problem. My father has been an alcoholic since i remember, not that he would become physically agressive against anyone in my family, but he has totally destroyed his body over the years. He now is 80% disabled and needs day and night care. I personally also have a huge drinking problem which i really cant control anymore.I dont live at my home but i feel its kind of my duty to care for him. On the other hand i had a time in my 16-20s where i was permanently living with the thought of him dying soon. What do you guys think of my Situation? I have often thought about asking someone but never had the balls to.
>>17252635
You're doing the first step man, I don't about your father his situation is way more messed up than yours, what's done is done. But you, you admit being an alcoholic and caring too much about your father.
This is nice, now that you know where you're stepping, let's slowly change.
> How's life ? Studies ? Work ?
> Have some discipline, don't sleep too late and wake up early, a cliché as it may sound it will stop you from drinking early in the morning.
> Set yourself some goals, change your daily habits, busy yourself with activities so that you don't be all day drinking.
> Anyone who cares about you ? Tell him/her how you feel, talk about your situation and what do you want to change and how you will do it. Saying publicly your goals will help you following the right path to do it, you might even get good advice
Plus this drinking addiction seems to be triggered by your situation, you need to fix your context otherwise every action you will do against the drinking problem will be nullified, go get a good psychologist if you have the money, or even the alcoholics anonymous. RELY ON OTHERS
Anymore questions ? I'm a student in psychology I know some stuff
Its not that im aware of my whole problems recently but i cant think of a good start. My studies are doing meh, i never did much for school and mostly made it to where I am by learning not more than 2-3 days for my exams. Its that I travel between the place where I study and my hometown mostly on the weekends and when im at my hometown im mostly around friends which leads to me going to bed early. During the week I try to eat better than the past years which works most of the time. It's not that I'm drinking every day, I don't even feel the urge to but when I go out on the weekends 1/4 times I get so fucked up that I dont know how I came home. I did go to the gym regularely for 3 years but I haven't been there for almost two years now. I talked about this with some of my closest friends but they are not really a big help, can't tell you why. What would you do in a case of internet addiction ? I need my pc for studying and exams are in 3 weeks. I also think a lot about my father being dead, although he is still alive.... I can't really do anything with him besides talking about some unimportant stuff.
>>17252684
First time posting on 4chan so I didn't know how to use the reply function
So im not sure how to go about this, I feel like this girl does like me and she did seem interested, but she doesnt respond. Any idea what I should do?
Story:
I asked this girl at work out after a few weeks of flirting. Shes always smiling and making eye contact with me. When I asked her out (Last Sunday) for this weekend she said she was busy all weekend, so I asked for her number and she gave it to me and we joked a bit before she left. Later that night I texted her my number.
The day after I asked her whats up, but she never replied. But I saw her the next day at work, so I played it cool. Four days later (Last Thursday) I asked her again when she would be free this weekend (I knew she was busy from the first time I asked), she replied that she was busy with work and saturday she had to go to a party and sunday had to spend time with family. I said its all good but asked what days she thinks she will be free next week, but she never replied. I saw her again on Friday, but I didn't want to bring up that she never replied to me, but she was still smiling and making eye contact with me, and had a little small talk with her again and that was it.
I wont be at work until Friday this week so the only way to ask her is texting again which she doesnt seem to reply to. Is there any way to ask her straight up if shes interested or not or how long should I wait before I ask if shes gonna be busy again? Should I say anything if she doesn't respond again?
From her perspective
>this guy cornered me at work
>asked me for my number, couldn't think of an excuse that wouldn't make working together awkward
>ignoring his texts, hoping he'll get the hint
>keeps asking me out, I keep making excuses
>holy shit, he still doesn't get the hint
>have to act civil at work because, you know, it's work
>how the fuck do I get him to leave me alone??
>>17252643
Maybe, though she did say yes when I asked her if she was interested in going out for lunch some time before I even asked for her number. Should I just leave it be?
>>17252681
Not the dude but my advice would be :
Yeah you could leave it be, or even be sincere about it.
Irl or even by a text message.
> "I suppose you read my text and didn't answer to avoid rejecting me, I seem to understand you don't feel the same way I do, I am really sorry I thought we could hang out and we will forget about that and keep it professional "
Something along the lines of this, mine is roughly done so change it up and make it smoother
Let's be clear, that is not getting you the pussy, but it's helping to get a better relation out of your awkward trap. And that is making it safe for another time to try when she changes her mind. She might even understand that you're a nice dude and come back to you after months of work together who knows, but let's not fool ourselves right now.
Is someone being too ghetto legitimate grounds for not dating them?
She's a really nice person and I like her public self, but in private, her family is ratchet as fuck.
>>17252631
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Don't do it. You'll regret it. What if she gets pregnant?
Yes.
And holy fuck that's a hot gif of Dwayne
>>17252631
Is it just her family that's ratchet or is she like that too? She might be fine, don't dismiss her for her family.
>looking for apartments
>go on Craigslist and email everyone
>emailed 20+ people
>literally only 1 of them has even emailed back whatsoever
>it's been about 1 week
>tour the place real quick
>they never even message back after that
What the fuck am I doing wrong?
What do I do? Like what am I supposed to say to people in the first email? Is there some reason nobody is responding? The listings are still up
All in all I'm super easy to get along with because I'm clean and keep to myself. Have a decent job and everything.
>>17252624
>What the fuck am I doing wrong?
trying to rent as opposed to buy
>>17252624
Maybe you look poor
>>17252624
>go on Craigslist and email everyone
>Craigslist
There's your problem
Retard here,
I havent had a gf in 3 years and im generally pretty independent and self sufficient. Right now,my focus is to,get into grad school.
Anyways there is this grill who i started talking to out of the blue because i thought she was cool as fuck (she is also gorgeous). We have good rapport, and i casually mentioned things that i do, and she said "id like,to check that out sometime" or "id be down to go" does that mean shes into me and wants to spend time with me? Im completely oblivious when it comes to this.
As an added plot twist, she recently left the country for some school things. Should i maintain contact through email? What do i say?
Im aware i sound autistic as fuck, im generally not this autistic, but the whole not seeing her for a month to ask her out and gauge her interest was a real curve ball thrown at me
Thanks in advance
>>17252621
Just send her a text, or if email's better do that, every once in a while. Not everyday, just every so often through the month.
Some people may or may not take this interest in contact as a want for a relationship. Either way it's good for you if you want a relationship.
Bring up things like "How's it going over there?" or "I went to this place" or "I checked out this [thing]. Thought you might like it too"
You should look within yourself for the answer.
>>17252765
That is the most non-answer out there you fuck.
Im mildly schitzophrenic and I applied for disability but I have been denied. I want to become a truck driver but I hear that you cant be on any medications which make you drowsy and on top of that schitzophrenia is a disqualifying condition. But truck driving seems like the only job I could really do. Im fat and lazy and look like white trash so I probably wouldn't fit in in an office. And I really cant do much physical labor because Im too fat. So what should I do?
You're diagnosed right? How the fuck did you get denied with schizophrenia.
If that's the case take it as a sign to be thankful. If you're denied disability the government is basically saying 'we don't think you're hopeless'. Schizophrenia is fucking horrible and comorbid with not-as-bad things like depression. So instead of giving up and going for the most isolating career you can find, fight it. Don't isolate yourself and don't settle for mediocrity.
You should follow your objectives and try your best.
Not trying would be worse.
>>17252602
I really think truck driving is the only thing I can do. I suck at talking to people. Im shy and socially awkward and pretty white trashy and im fat. Really I think its the only carreer I could get into where people wouldn't be judging me because Im soo quiet and I look like white trash and don't have any marketable skills.
I just got a call from an unknown number. It was a well spoken Indian who knew my address and my whole social security number. I didn't confirm it was mine, I had it on speaker and whispered "holy shit" to my cousin. They hung up after that. I put a freeze on my credit, checked my reports and no inquiries have been made or any new accounts created.
Will I be alright?
Pls guys
you are going to die in 7 days
Give him what he wants.
![Pulp_Fiction_trail_1040165a[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/avHQbVH.jpg "Pulp Fiction trail 1040165a[1]")
Hey /adv/ i don't post here often but i really need help now
I've always been awkward around girls but i still hung out with a few
my 21st birthday is coming up and i would like to lose my virginity to one of them
ive been texting her for the past few weeks
she seems to really like talking to me and tries to stretch the conversation as long as possible
but i can never keep the conversation going
we talk but it dies in a few minutes all the time
i text her the usual hey, whats up, what you doing
and that shit isnt getting me anywhere
any tips on how to keep a conversation going
or anything to further my chance of sex next week?
>>17252563
You've become her texting buddy.
Most likely isn't going to happen brother. You have to make your intentions sexual from the get go or nothing is going to happen.
>>17252573
How would i even make my intentions sexual?
not even good at flirting, how do i intrigued her?
Have you tried asking her out? Also "can I lose my virginity to you for my birthday" is never going to work
Posted this in the girls ask guys thread, but I decided that this sort of needed it's own thread.
Boyfriend is getting more and more distant and it's scaring the shit out of me.
In the first couple months that we started seeing each other, he was literally obsessed with me, we talked all the time.
Now that we're nearing month six, getting him to talk to me is like pulling teeth. He has all sorts of serious emotional baggage in his past (was raped, molested, beaten to a pulp in school, was never close with any of his family, ect), so I understand that he's probably terrified of having a real emotional connection with me, it's probably why he makes up lies and excuses as to why he can't talk to me.
...But he gets so fucking happy when he drops me off or when I leave (it's long distance, two-hour trip). Like, ecstatic. He's really happy the whole way to drop me off. Last time he dropped me off, he was grinning as he kissed me goodbye and fucking fist-pumped "Yes!" as he was getting back into his car. I don't think he knew I was watching.
Recently it's been seeming like he's been coming up with excuses not to see me when I try to make plans with him. Last time it was something along the lines of "I'm not sure I have the money to spoil you", he usually takes me out to all kinds of places whenever he can when we're together, which is also concerning in itself, because I've talked to him about him not needing to blow all kinds of money on me, yet he insists on doing it anyway. That's a different story, though.
(cont)
I talked to him today about getting together later this week, said he's broke and won't have enough money for gas, so I told him I'd make the drive up this time. He usually picks me up because I have Aspergers and ADHD, both factors that make me shit at driving. He made these weird moans and sighs almost the whole time while he was talking to me, like making conversation with me was agonizing or something he really, really didn't want to do. I asked if there was anything wrong, he said he was fine several times.
Money has never been an issues before, and I'm not sure why he gets so happy when I leave. The last time we hung out, we had a great time and nothing came up, so I don't understand why he'd still be so happy to let me go. We have fantastic physical intimacy, but I've been suspecting that he's cheating for a while, and I'm sort of close to finding out by my own means if he's been faithful (not disclosing what, exactly).
But we've made future plans and he says that he's never going to leave me, and he still tells me that he loves me. I'm just not sure I can take any more at this point.
>>17252548
>In the first couple months that we started seeing each other, he was literally obsessed with me, we talked all the time.
>Now that we're nearing month six, getting him to talk to me is like pulling teeth.
Things were great in the honeymoon phase and now that its over your relationship has fizzled out. First you're close, then you drift apart.
It happens all the time. Sorry.
>>17252554
I really don't think that's what it is though. Like I said, I've given him several opportunities to back out of the relationship or to leave, I still do sometimes. He's chosen to stay every time.
Hey \adv\, so my problem is, I(20m) never really felt any affection towards women, and I'm not sure if thats a sign that I'm gay?
Like I even feel some kind of disgust towards them? Idk, how to describe it. And no I'm not a mysogonist , I think I may feel like that cause my mother has some legit psychological problems.
For example when I browse \hm\ I feel a tingly feeling in my stomach, but when i browse \s\ nothing really. On the other hand maybe I just masturbate too much?
When I am on nofap I have the urge to fuck some women, but its my dick speaking, no real feelings involved, like the tingly feeling mentioned above.
So How do I tell?
No I'm not a virgin and I'm relatively attractive, so that isnt the issue.
4chan creates yet another faggot.
you could be demisexual
>>17252611
Why do you think that?
>>17252523
Nah this time its not 4chans fault...I think
How can I fix pockmarked/minor acne scarred skin? Male/27.
>>17252481
My forehead in particular.
Is it actually indented, or is it spots of smooth discoloration?
I've heard dermabrasion might work.
So I was talking to this girl for over a month and we became good friends and from what she said I was the first boy who she got along with so fast. Well she meets this other guy who she talked to for a week and they end up going out. What do anon? I really liked this girl and even opened up to her about it before she went out with him. her sister said she is going through a phase of not knowing what she wants.
>>17252474
That other guy made her pussy wet and you didn't.
A month is a really long time before anything happens. Be more forward in your attempts in the future.
>>17252474
Welcome to the world of women. They generally don't know what they want and it's not your job to worry about it or be the safety net. Get over it. Also a girl will go with the guy that makes her "feel" the best. She could really like you but if she thinks she has feelings for another guy she will leave you in a heartbeat. Also she will be with the guy that fucks her the best 90% of the time. Way of the world son.
>>17252474
>her sister said she is going through a phase of not knowing what she wants.
>Me and ex were going to get back together, then I found out she was stringing me and another guy along
>Told her she was a total piece of shit, and really scummy, and to not contact me anymore
>Apparently the other guy found out too and more or less told her to kill herself.
>She left a voicemail on my phone today saying that she attempted suicide, and is currently in a mental health facility, and then just said bye without saying anything else
What the fuck? Why would she just leave me that message. Was she trying to guilt me or something? I don't understand.
Should I feel bad? I'm leaning towards no.
>>17252451
Well done both you and the other guy. She reaped what she sow.
Bitch is most likely trying to get you pity her and getting your emotional support. Probably sent same message to the other guy.
Cut contact. She's toxic
>>17252465
was gonna say thi pretty much
>>17252451
She wants you to feel bad because she made bad choices.
A week ago my mother had broken a plate and some of the little pieces of glass went into my food which I obviously ingested later on, because otherwise the story wouldn't be worth of my time to be written down. I just felt that something was in my mouth when a tiny piece of glass cracked between my teeth.
Two days later It went out with shit and it cut my ass and that was it. Not much blood and it was bright red so I wasn't worried at all.
But now I'm fucking worried.
I have no fucking idea how many shards of glass i devoured and after a whole week I can still tell that something is up in my guts. There hasn't been any blood in my shit, I tried to vomit and everything seemed to be ok. I don't feel any pain at all, it's just like there's still something inside of me or maybe there isn't but my colon is still inflammed or something like that. Should I panic or it's better to wait a little longer? I don't have an insurance. Also please tell me something nice about colonoscopy.
>>17252449
You are having hypochondria
>>17252452
anon, I really hope that's the case.
I haven't slept well recently because I'm scared of dying from sepsis without noticing it.
I forgot to mention that it stings when I make fast motions. It isn't very painful but it's still noticable.
My abdomen doesn't seem to be swollen but it feels weird as fuck and my last shit was loose and left some yellowish marks on paper.
My tongue had been coated which is usually a sign of bacterial infection but it went back to normal.
My girlfriend of one year and a half just told me we should stop buying pills because she never fells like having sex with me anymore. The obvious reason for me is because I've been suffering of ED for the last month. This is destroying me right now and I'm looking for advice as to what to say to her about this.
I'm almost sure this ED thing comes with the depression that's been lurking around me rhis year, slowly getting to me until I finally broke this month. She doesn't know about this and I'm not planning to tell her right now because I can imagine three possible answers:
"You're just saying that to make me feel bad".
you're just saying that to make yourself come as the victim here".
"Stop justifying yourself".
I may add she didn't say I should get my erections back or sex is off, she said she wanted to stop trying alltogether.
How can I get my sexual life back? The more I think my gf just stopped liking me on a physical level is infuriating and destroying at the same time. I'm irrationally mad at her for putting this on me at this very moment when I really need her and her approval and caring. I also feel like a failure and that she doesn't deserve to be bound to someone like me who can even fuck. As far as I understand her, the relationship isn't off for now, just the sex. I don't think the relationship can take this. Just the mere action of her trying to have sex with me was really appreciated and made feel ok.
So what can I say /adv/??
>She doesn't know about this and I'm not planning to tell her right now because I can imagine three possible answers:
>"You're just saying that to make me feel bad".
>you're just saying that to make yourself come as the victim here".
>"Stop justifying yourself".
>I may add she didn't say I should get my erections back or sex is off, she said she wanted to stop trying alltogether.
When you're not able to communicate honestly in a relationship because of a valid fear of being misunderstood, that's a bigger problem than erectile dysfunction or your girlfriend not wanting sex.
Your relationship is doomed.
>"You're just saying that to make me feel bad".
>you're just saying that to make yourself come as the victim here".
>"Stop justifying yourself".
That's either the depression talking or you shouldn't be with this person.
>>17252462
>>17252469
Ive been thinking about this too, mostly because of the anxiety and stress dating someone puts on my shoulders, but the niceties help me distract sometimes, like spending time with someone and cooking a meal or having a reason to shower. Maybe I'm exagerating and it's just me don't wanting to appear depressed in front of her. We have so much plans together I don't want to be part off, but then I think maybe next year I will get better and thank myself for going trough this while keeping my relationship.
Right now I feel like maybe if I get to save my sexual life the relationship will get more balanced, I will get more caring and love out of it and then the depression will wear off if I work hard on other aspects of my life.
I don't even know how serious is she about all this but if we really stop having sex then yeah my relationship is doomed. But I can't think of what to say to her right now.
