Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 476. page
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I don't understand the concept of seducing a woman.
Yeah, I get that you want to get the woman to be interested in you, but what do you do to achieve that?
Do guys have to impress them? By talking? Body language? Or is it something completely different?
I don't understand the slightest bit of that mechanism. If anyone (especially females) could kinda enlighten me on that subject I would be very grateful.
>>17254101
Also, I'm not a virgin, I've had meaningful relationships in the past, it's just that I've never really 'seduced' a girl - they mostly seduced me. So I just kinda played along and, after several awkward situations, everything kinda went okay.
>>17254101
Also, please don't give me references to PUA webpages/books, unless you have a really good reason. I've read most of that stuff, and it's mostly oriented on a method of seducing as many girls as possible - it mostly doesn't say a word of how to actually do it.
ur an fagit
Guy in mid 20's trying to get back in the game after a looong hiatus. I look healthy, can be funny around friends, and like to play sports casually.
I've been playing a pickup sport with this girl once every week. I find her very attractive but I can't tell how she sees me at all because she's so "nice" to everyone. She often laughs at my jokes but she's always smiling and positive that I can't make any meaningful deduction out of it. We hardly get to talk during our game since everyone's intensely running around and when the game is over she usually hurries back to her grad school studies unless we go get something to drink as a group. That's pretty much my only chance to talk to her, although we are friends on fb.
This is where I need your help. She seems like a reserved/quiet type and while I'm decent at making fun of myself to make people laugh, I've never quite figured out how to talk to a girl to signal that I'm interested, especially if the girl is as reserved as she is.
How should I break down the barrier and start signalling to her that i'm interested? Any tips on carrying the momentum of a conversation when the girl is not an active talker?
Don't know senpai but giving you a bump because I've got the same question
>>17254084
Its a lost art dont know how to communicate with them either and the girl i liked was a qt as fuck latina, you ever find out let me know
Just ask her if she wants to do something outside the of sport. Worst case she says no.
I just did it and it went terrible (she said yes) but yeah, so this week's game will be interesting but whatever. I'm glad I did it.
How can i deal with being a manlet?
Step 1: leave /r9k/ and don't set foot there again.
Step 2: stop giving a fuck.
>>17254108
>Step 1: leave /r9k/ and don't set foot there again.
also /fit/
Like every other shortcoming in life. Own it. Embrace it. Make fun of it publically. Dont give a fuck. I make fun of my small dick all the time and ppl love that shit.
I was babysitting my 12 year old cousin recently and we had both fallen asleep. When I woke, she was nowhere to be so I checked the basement. My now ex bf was in the basement with my little cousin was crying and I noticed that her clothes were all messed up. She wouldn't tell me why she was crying and when I asked my ex when he got there and why he didn't wake me up, he kept insisting that my little cousin let him in. Between that and a few other things we argued and broke up that night
Next thing I know, I see a post on reddit with him talking about what sex is like with someone younger. I'm not sure what to do. Idk if you all can see the post, its by psyhanh. Idk what to do
Call the police, tell them what you know and let them handle it from there.
I called but there is no proof and my cousin refuses to tell me if anything happened. Idk why she was crying when I got there....
You could consider telling her parents. But knowing parents they might make it worse. I mean, rape can be pretty bad but the shaming and guilt tripping done by society after the act is pretty bad as well.
>yesterday told myself I'd start working hard today and doing all the learning I want to do
>it's today
>I'm telling myself I'll start tomorrow
How do I start working really fucking hard? I have shitloads of free time and waste it all on internet browsing, watching sports, and eating junk food (the gym keeps me from being fat).
Picrelated summarises what I think I'd look like after having the epiphany that gives me motivation.
Simple, you need to get outside your comfort zone.
The most scientific explanation of what a comfort zone is relates it to anxiety levels. Your comfort zone is any type of behavior that keeps you at a steadily low anxiety level. Imagine something you do all the time, like watching sports or internet browsing. Everyday activities that you’re used to won’t make you feel anxious and uneasy, so they’re part of your comfort zone.
Bring your laptop to any public places, turn off wifi, and soon enough you'll start doing all the learning you want to do.
>>17254061
I'll tell you tomorrow.
>>17254061
pour hot butter on your face
worked for me
Is it wrong to dismiss a relationship with a girl because she is disabled? This girl (24) who I always felt was a cousin to me hung out one night. One thing led to another and we had sex (25). Never saw her sexually before that but she is disabled. Just her legs, not her head. But still a turn-off for me. Is it wrong to not want a relationship with her just because she is disabled? I was her first time she says so I don't want to make her feel like I used her. We are friends, what should I say.
My group of male friends are basically saying "Ignoring her disability for a moment. What are your feelings then? Are you dismissing this potential relationship because she's disabled?". But that doesn't change that fact she is disabled.
>rejecting Emi
I don't even know where to start with you.
>>17254056
You asshole why get into this shitty situation. Be with her for sometime& act normal otherwise you will soon be responsible for her suicide.
>>17254056
it's not wrong and you are obviously not ready for this relationship it's a turn-off for you, just say no and move on
So a while ago I posted a thread about wanting to become a criminal, and someone called me out and gave me a really good idea on how to make a lot of money easily without crime, but I cant be fucking damned to start
Im scared to fail, and he only left me extremely small tidbits, its like a fucking game
I know I can do it, but I just cant start. How do you guys get the extra push to get going?
Pic unrelated
fucking quit or shut up, man. no one here can make YOU motivated. sounds harsh, but it's on you. ask for help all the time, not motivation.
>>17254044
Im asking for help on how you guys get motivated
do you have any particular thing that you want or an image of what you think would make your life worth chasing
it's actually pretty boring desu
>>17254009
It's not worth buying, but if you have one, you might as well hold onto it.
I hear they are hard to come by.
You can create a legacy that lives on farther than you ever will
Generations upon generations will remember you and base their lives on you.
Also skee ball
I talk like a fag and my shit is all retarded.
Are there any good resources online for learning to talk without an accent, or at least with a clear and respectable one?
Please help /adv/, I do not know where else to ask.
Post vocaroo
>>17254086
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PaA8ZrmERJ
I can't stop cheating in college
I primarily do this by having foreigners do my papers on the cheap, and it sucks spending the money, but the real reason I hate it is because I'm terrified of being expected to know things when I start a new job. Nothing on my resume is a lie, and I have zero interest in accounting (math is by far my worst subject), but these are the main classes I cheat in. I absolutely loathe finance and bookkeeping and I have no interest in starting my own business. With that said, you never know when you'll need this info and I know it'll come in handy.
I think I'm still debating with myself about it. What does /adv/ think? Give me your thoughts. Convince me to stop. I know I need to.
... what the fuck are you even studying, you don't give a shit about it.
you don't seem to like it, go re-do your life from the beginning
You don't need to. What's the big deal? No one remembers all their courses from school. Just make sure you understand the shit directly related to your career.
>>17253993
I could've explained myself better. I only cheat in courses I give no fucks about. Finance essentially. I took finance accounting and quantitative analysis, then started cheating in managerial accounting. If I had a job as a long-term bookkeeper, I think I'd kill myself. Bus Systems Analysis and Design, Business Law, Principles of Management, Introduction to Info Tech are all courses I had fun with and did well. It's when we start talking about profits and efficiency percentages that my eyes glaze over.
>>17253994
Maybe you're right. I'll think more on it.
What's the best way in storing millions of dollars without putting it in a bank or risk easy access for thieves (personal safe)?
A briefcase?
>>17253992
I'm pretty sure that's easier to get to than a safe.
I just want to know the best way to store large amounts of money with the least amount of risk in losing all of it.
>>17253980
Build a fake wall in your house. Just don't hire anyone, do it yourself.
>meet homely girl
>she has a 10/10 personality
>she takes great care of her body
>she works out 7 days a week
>she studies 7 days a week
>she is out of school
>she
>she is very stable financially
>we have many shared interests
>she gives me my space and I give her her space
>she only ever talks about happy memories she's got
>she's got a lot of them, but they're all weirdly specific
>like we were hiking up a mountain and she kept talking about things that she did with her dad and brother on that mountain, all happy
>it is fairly obvious that she doesn't talk about the hardships she's endured
>it is fairly obvious that there are a lot of them
>she has weird scars on her inner thighs and on the backs of her knees
>they are not cutting scars
>they look a lot like stretch marks
>but she's never been fat
>I'm 99% confident that she's self conscious about them
>so they never come up in conversation
>I'm really curious though
[cont]
>But I don't want to ask because she only ever brings up bad memories if there's extreme relevance
>Like I asked her why she won't invite me over on holidays to hang with her and her folks
>She told me that she isn't close to any of her non-immediate relatives
>Also that her step-dad is prone to anger
>Another example is I asked her why, since she's been trying to patch things up with her parents, why she doesn't try patching things up with her other folks
>She told me that she likes to take one thing at a time
>And cousins used to bully her
>And she never met most of her aunts and uncles, except the ones she has met were garbage human beings barring her uncle Greg
>About the scars
>She's told me about some of her scars
>Dog bit her face when she was young
>Hurt her eye sledding when she was young
>Dog bit her arm when she was young
>Someone threw a shotput at her when she was in highschool
>Someone threw a rock at her before she switched elementary schools
>But she just never talks about the scars on her inner thighs and the scar on her wrist and the scar on her right breast
>And I'm really curious
>But I don't want to hurt her by asking
>Is there any way to bring it up without being an asshole?
>>17253957
Maybe making assumptions but it sounds like she was raped
>>17253957
I'm partially the same as your gf. I feel for her.
Let me show you examples :
> " I love you, I cannot tell you how much I love you, and I'm seeing those scars. I mean I understand that if you don't talk about it, then I will never push you to do it. I just wanted you to know that I will always be here and that if someday you need to open your heart to someone, I will be here for you, as long as it takes."
Watch out, if this is really important she might get on the defensive, don't answer back, just say that you're sorry, and that you will never bring that subject again if she doesn't want to.
In the end, you don't need to know if she doesn't want to, maybe after years and years, in a drunk night she will tell you about it. Maybe not, never push her, you have the right to bring the subject once as the caring bf you are and you can't ever pressure her to talk about it, some people can leave you for that shit.
Also, remind her how beautiful she are, how you love her and how you will make her forget every bad memories. From your description, she's sad little woman who fought her own destiny to get money, studies, got out of her shit-hole of a family. If you're 100% confident she's self-concious about it, make her forget that pain.
You wanted to ask about her scars, I'm warning you about her, don't mess this up man. You've got yourself fragile but magnificent girl there.
>>17253962
Yup that might be it, but it can only stay as a hidden assumption. Break her privacy and she will feel attacked in the deepest scar, her psyché.
What's a good username for a youtube channel? I plan to do analysis videos on TV shows, books, maybe video games. What works for new youtubers? I'm not really looking to make money, but to just have a creative platform that would also be recognized.
Pewdiepie
>>17253926
UnderageB& Gaming
>>17253926
Doesn't really matter as long as it's easy to remember, not too weird, well structured. I can advise you on the form of the username, not the content.
Example :
> if you know pun with animals, always works
> foreign words
> avoid weird characters : x / digits (unless with a certain meaning)
I'm so tired of being sad
I'm in my mid-20s and since I was a very young teen in middle school I have been depressed. Not a week has gone by in the past decade where I haven't thought about suicide. Been to a thousand doctors and tried different medicines. Made a few attempts and fucked up my kidneys permanently from too many sleeping pills.
Just grinding through life missing out on things. I hardly even react to my own sadness anymore, every time I cross a bridge I visualize jumping to my death and the thought doesn't even phase me anymore it's like I expect this normalized reaction from myself. Sometimes I'm too sad to do anything but drink and don't even eat, just alcohol.
And I'm so sick of it. I've reinvented myself, moved away, moved up in the workplace, new clothes, lost weight, everything. But I can't stop wanting to die.
I hate this.
Anything
Your brain is hell-bent on destroying itself. You have to break the cycle.
I don't know if that would help, but here is my a short version of my story. I had simillar problem, sadness, numbness, suicide thoughts almost every minute.
My first memories are filled with feeling misplacement, sadness, strangness. My first suicide thought and "attempt" was when I was six years old, when I crawled under my desk with a knife and tried to slice my neck, thankfully (?) got scared of pain and blood. I just felt like such a disapointment and waste of time/space despite being one of the best students in school and having many acomplishments. All those feelings lingered through my whole life I managed to get to best schools and get decent studies but it was only when I was 24 I realized what it was because. I was never loved.
Now my parents on the surface are decent folk but in family interactions they are toxic, narcistic motherfuckers that only saw their children as their property and pillows to cry on. They told me regulary that they "love me" but noone ever cared for me. Everything I know I had to teach myself. Everything from the most basic things. Only thing that they suplied was money but I always felt ashamed to take it because they were always fighting for it. They were always critical.
Now comes my worst problem/decision. I assumed it was norm. I didn't rebel. I was good kid. They absolutely "love" the way I act. I was good son, who always helped them and never gave problems. I just internalized all the problems, feeling of being unloved, unlovable even (feelings that I didn't understand), hate, rage. Nobody ever taught me anything about life, nobody ever helped me in normal problems of growing up and I felt too ashamed of myself to even reach out to other people (I guess it is subconcious realization that if my own family doesn't help me I must not deserve help of other people) and didn't want to shame my family (which always was first thing they would say to me).
It all changed first time I ALLOWED myself to feel loved.
Tell me please anyone who is familiar with this concept, is this bullshit or not. Because to be honest, I can't really believe in these "success stories". I've recenty read this book about porn by Gary Wilson. Seriously, how is this book supposed to be "scientific research", it's like 90% of its content consists of reddit posts. And almost EVERY post out there and on NoFap.com forum is quite the same: "blah blah, I was a hikki/basement dweller/hermit, virgin (or had girlfriend - not really my case) had no friends, did 100 days - and now I have made few friends, I meet girls and feel great".
Now I admit I do have a strong porn addiction. I waste a lot of time thanks to this, and I also admit it would be great if I'll manage to overcome it some day. Yet I can't force myself to believe this bullshit success stories. I mean for instance, if you don't have enough social skills to even introduce yourself properly, how the hell stopping jerking off would help to gain some?
Can someone convince me that I'm wrong and still should try rebooting?
>>17253848
when you masturbate, what do you think of yourself?
is what you're doing really okay for you?
once you have your answer you know what to do
nofap only works because it takes away the reward for doing nothing
you're basically trying to trick your body into realizing that the current behavior you're having is no longer giving you the positive results.
the same could arguably be achieved by cutting out junk food entirely
it isn't some magic thing that boosts your other senses and personality, you're just reconditioning yourself. it isn't going to fix any real internal problems.
Instead of sitting in the basement masturbating go out and talk to people
