Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 479. page
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I've been sober from booze for about two months and alls I can think about recently is going to a bar, getting some greasy food, getting a nice buzz and going to the movies.
I have a history of drug and alcohol abuse, this the problem.
What do you think? Should I do it?
>>17253342
that's the only problem*
not sure what happened there.
probably shouldnt
>>17253349
I was hoping you'd say otherwise.
I just want to stop thinking about it, my dude.
hey /adv/ I already posted in /g/ but idk if that was the right place to post so here I am. I'm looking for a laptop that I can take with me to uni that is able to do regular school assignment work stuff as well as be able to play overwatch and dark souls 3 type games on mid to high settings. so far I've found this: http://www.xoticpc.com/sager-np8658-clevo-p650rg-p-8654.html
anything in the $1500-$1900 price range is do-able.
>pic related it's my dog
>gaming
>laptop
Pick one
>>17253322
ya I know it's a stretch. but it's not like I'm asking for the rig to be able to play games on ultra high settings either yanno
>>17253327
If you want to be able to play games even half-decently, you won't get a laptop.
I have a guinea pig that is anywhere from 9-11 weeks pregnant. She is at the cusp of having them and my wife and I are worried about her. We have had baby pigs before with a different mommy so we know what to expect. But here it is and her pelvis has not spread apart and today we had her on a towel on our bed and shes started bleeding on it a bit but it stopped. Her pelvis started spreading but it closed back up and no dilation has happened yet she should be experiencing it, We are worried she will die soon. Anyone else with more expierience know what to do. I am fully prepared to go in and take the babies out myself but that would kill mommy undoubtedly but Its a chance for the babies to live. The other option is to wait but theres the chance she can die while we sleep then the babies go with her and we are just worried. We dont have money to do a vet,
Think >>/an/ can help you more.
Hope Piggy and her young will be ok
>>17253350
I have already posted with no replies as of yet still
>>17253315
>guinea pig
That's a tad racially insensitive
How often do you check in with your significant other at night when you're not living together? By check in, I mean just any kind of contact.
My girlfriend goes MIA for 12 hours at a time at least once a week. When I type it out like that, I get insecure that she's cheating. So instead of going full retard I'm stopping and thinking and asking advice.
How often do you receive contact from your S/O at night? I've always at least texted once before bed, even if it's short. I rarely ever go to sleep without telling the people i love that I love them. Maybe it's a habit from being a military kid. You just never know when someone's not coming home or not waking up.
My girl seems to think there's no problem with "falling asleep" until 2am and then texting me that she was napping. Naps are cool and shit but I don't know if I can maturely handle my woman going MIA routinely because "naps."
I'm texting my SO basically any time we're not sleeping or at work/school.
In your case, I'm going to give you some advice that you might consider radical or unconventional: have you tried talking to her about this?
>MIA for 12 hours at a time
Holy crap. You have some serious co-dependency issues. Get a hobby or something.
>>17253309
>have you tried talking to her about this?
Yes and there's an impasse. Her argument is that she shouldn't have to control naps. She works hard, she's tired, etc. etc. I've never taken naps before in my life and work harder so it's tough for me to be sympathetic, but I try to compromise.
I told her it's OK every once and a while but the routineness of it concerns me. I told her it would really help if she would just text me a good night or something, let me know she's alive.
She gets mad that I "don't trust her." That view is silly IMO because you can still text and cheat. It's not like shooting me a text at 6pm is really going to change the ability to cheat... so it really is just that I don't like not being able to reach her.
It also bothers me because at the start of our relationship I had no problem with it and did the same thing. She bitched endlessly about how worried she was that I was cheating blah blah blah.
Lo and behold, here she goes doing the same shit. So it hits me on a few levels. And she just gets mad and bitches when I try to talk with her about it.
>Holy crap. You have some serious co-dependency issues. Get a hobby or something.
I think you misunderstand. I am a very busy man, which is why this bothers me so much. I spend my day working very hard... it would be nice to not have to worry about my girl.
So yes, of course some of the trust issues are mine. That doesn't change the fact that i feel she's not meeting me halfway.
a girl on kik asked me why i am hiding my face on my profile pic.
what should i reply?
>>17253300
Honesty.
>nice dubs.
>>17253306
what...give me something smart
>I need someone to pay attention to my massive self-esteem issues.
My gf has a terrible case of letting people walk all over her. It's taken me a year to let her ease into telling me off when I need it and sticking up for herself.
>today
>large fight erupts between her and her roommates
>they kick her out for the most rediculous reasons.
>girls say then never want to be friends again
>gf says maybe one day
My girlfriend stood up for herself well, and is doing the right thing by not being hateful. But im angry at what they did to her and how they spoke to her. I will never forgive these girls and I can't stand the thought of my gf being friends with them again. How do I get over my hatred for these girls if my gf ever does try to reconcile?
I can't believe she would ever want to reconcile with these people, they sound like massive cunts. If anyone ever kicked me out of my own house for stupid reasons I would never talk to them ever again.
You shouldn't have to get over your hatred of them, especially since it seems well justified. I think you should just try to be civil with them at the very least. You shouldn't have to like them, you only need to tolerate them.
>>17253274
>How do I get over my hatred for these girls if my gf ever does try to reconcile?
You don't necessarily have to, unless they're your friends, as well. Let it be known to your girlfriend that if she wants to reconcile with her friends, not to make you a part of it.
>>17253274
ridiculous*
also what is ridiculous is relative, you aren't part of that situation and therefore have incomplete knowledge, and it's not your problem to be hateful for. your role is to be supportive. to do anything else is to exacerbate the problem.
Dated a girl last year, we broke up, had mad love for her still do. Recently she broke up and is single, during the time she was dating I asked her for a second chance with her. Today found she's been fucking her weed dude and is in love with him after she just broke up with her ex literally 3 weeks ago, didn't give a shit about my chance. We've been friends since we broke up and I told her that I couldn't continue being friends with her because it hurts to be friends. Thinking about her with some man every day, knowing that I can't have her tears me apart. I miss her so much already and I just did it about 20 minutes ago...Did I do the right thing? If you have any questions about the situation just ask em and I'll try my best to explain.
Been there before, bro. I was too stupid to move on so I stuck around like a dumbass. Eventually built up anger let loose and she got rid of me for good. Felt awful at first, a year later I'm glad she's gone.
> TL;DR power through until a solution arrives
>>17253263
I talked to /b/ the other day and they helped me come to the solution of ditching her. There was no anger from me, but she seemed to be mad at me probably because I Called her out on how she was acting. It feels good that I dont have to worry about her ever coming back, but its the fact that she isn't coming back that hurts the worst. I'm dumb thinking that she still loved me...
I wish you the best of luck in your search for love friend.
>mad at me probably because I Called her out on how she was acting
I'm mad at you too, for being such a puss. Seriously, it's a fucking girl.
Something is wrong with me /adv/. I don't like kids.. like at all. I am 26 and I just HATE hearing kids talk, laugh, play. I hate seeing couples. I hate seeing pregnant women. in fact... I think I just HATE seeing people happy. I am mostly bothered by laughing children though or children saying words.
I also feel.. asexual? I masturbate a lot to porno but never really pursue relationships. Like, it doesn't feel compelling? I don't have that drive to get a relationship and I don't know why.
One of my friends told me that sex and relationships should be like at least top 5 thoughts for any healthy male.
Is my mind fucked? I am just super miserable and bitter and salty. What have I become?
>>17253203
Exactly how busy is your life? Do you work a job or go out at night on the weekdays/weekends? Most people who feel this way tend to either have some serious mental defect covered in the DSM-V. Others might just see life as bleak and half-empty because they don't get to experience this kind of happiness. I remember when I fell into depression because I felt as though I was doomed to be unhappy and that's just the way life worked. Fun fact, it doesn't. Life is how you make it, even if you think positive reinforcement is bullshit, it helps you trick your mind into a more stable state of being. Either way, you should describe your most common weekly routines and your most common social gatherings if you have any. Maybe some interests or hobbies.
>>17253237
My weekly routines consists of having to get up at 5:45am and take a hour long bus to work and get home at 7pm every day. and I work on sundays sometimes too.
I don't go out much but would really like to but I just don't fit well in that scene. My friends describe me as a ornament of sorts. I just am kind of there but when asked about me, no one can remember exactly what I was doing or where I was.
I do like playing video games and working with electronics. I try to spend some time jogging and working out just to stay healthy a bit.
I will admit, I am super depressed but I feel like depression is one of those "coward afflictions" that can't be cured.
Relationship wise.. I am not doing well. I don't understand the concept of dating or "making moves" which has left me crippled in this department. I don't understand how things work and people would find it strange if I asked for help.
>>17253245
I can relate to you, but I was in highschool when I felt like this, which made it easier for me to cope with what was going on. Now, from what you've said, all you basically have for social interaction is work. Do you have anyone at work whom you're fond of or at least is fond of you?
You say that you have friends yet you don't do much going out, which makes me think you just hang out with them at home. That's fine, but it's harder to meet people like that seeing as there's no one new in your home. You just have to find things that might be interesting to you, especially given that we live in an age of technology and social media is the easiest way to connect people. Things like Meetup, Timeout, or just walking around your local subdivision/neighborhood could really help you out. You just need to keep an eye open for things to do with friends.
Most people go to music festivals or showcases, but you should find something you would enjoy or someone you know might enjoy. Like, recently, while walking through my neighborhood to work, I saw a poster for some independent wrestling circuit. I don't care much for it, but one of my friends is a big WWE mark, so I thought it'd be fun to tell him. Just because I did that, other people who knew him or me asked about it and we got a group going. Sometimes, connections are made simply because you talk about things openly in front of other people who know you at least a little bit.
Depression is very hard to deal with and one of the best ways to get rid of it is to become inspired. At least, that's how I did it. Once again, I was in highschool, so it was a lot easier to find something that would impact me. Honestly, it's pretty corny, but I played FF: Crisis Core and I felt as though I related to Zack in some kind of odd way. Maybe I was just a huge faggot who didn't know what they were doing. Honestly, most people are, I've met more people who have no clue what they're doing than successful people.
Cont.
So at 24 I'm still a kiss-less virgin
Growing up my parents were overly strict on everything since both grew up in very overly abusive households. I almost never got to go to friends or have them over. (Not like I had many) Now I'm living alone in a shitty apartment going to college finishing my BA soon. By an act of god I met a girl (20) and we hit it off since we both accidentally found out we both have the same fetish. (Probably one of the few people in the area that are into BDSM since most are really religious here) and since I've never had a GF I didn't really know how to ask her out or anything so we ended up just becoming really close over about 4 months.
Anyway, over the last year or so the fact I'm still a virgin is crushing me and my confidence making me feel like a failure as a person.
She is the only female friend I've really had, so she is really my only option. How do I get her to have pity sex with me so I can finally lose my virginity and gain some confidence back.
bump.
What do I do /adv/ I'm so sick of feeling inadequate.
>>17253202
Why don't you ask her out?
better make a move op before some more alpha male takes her.
Is it okay if I never come out to my family about being gay? My friend said it's like I'm lying to them that im not being honest, but if I know for a fact my family wont accept me is it okay?
I don't know how you expect to go through life without them knowing, while maintaining a relationship with them at the same time
Sounds like they are religious. Don't tell them if you're still living with them. Doesn't matter what you say after you move out
Unless you absolutely need to tell someone, don't.
I'm 19 and plan to commit suicide once I turn 20 (or at least within a few weeks of). It's for a very, very complex reason. Care to ask why?
Why
>>17253111
FYI my birthday is on the 27th. My life is in a bullshit fucking rut. I was also diagnosed with high functioning autism as a kid if that helps.
>>17253118
You won't do it, you don't have the balls
>once I turn 20 (or at least within a few weeks of)
don't even have a fixed day
true procrastinator
you're just making this thread to get attention, and blaming everything on a disorder is stupid. I have aspergers and I can function just fine in the real world
I'm scared that even after dropping all this weight, going to the gym all the time and lifting and just in general getting /fit/, getting /fa/shionable clothes, having a undercut, and reading a fuckton of books like how to win friends and influence people, that come this upcoming semester I won't be able to get people to like me enough via joining clubs and rushing frats to be able to build up a social life on the level thats needed to get laid.
I'm not gonna be able to go on if I cant pull it off this time, I can't watch another year go by and still be a fucking virgin, I'll be 20 this time next year, I cant keep doing this.
>I'm afraid that it might be something that's less easily changed like my personality that makes me so damn unlikeable
It's probably true. People don't like people just because they go to the gym or can dress themselves well, they like people because they're fun to be around.
Just stop. You sound fucking pathetic. That's why you have no friends. It's not how you look or what you wear, it's that you sound monstrously autistic.
>But... what if reading books about making friends won't help me to make friends? How will I go on?
If you go to the gym, clothing stores, classes, work, etc. you'll start to see the same people and they'll start to see you. A comment here and there; "Hey", "How's it?", "What's going on today?" as you become a regular sight to them begins to build rapport and then you can escalate these comments into more specifics - interests, current events, etc. Stranger -> That one guy I see sometimes -> acquaintance -> friend -> girlfriend/boyfriend?
/adv/ will have you believe that by going to a library and walking up to a girl and saying "Hi, I'm anon and I like books" will somehow get you a soulmate.
It's not a science.
>>17253107
the point of all this self improvement shit is to be able to put off a persona that people like
>>17253123
>that entire gym thing
well yeah that's already happening, but I don't think its going to be enough
>fell in love 6 years ago, while in HS
>Told her, she wasn't interested
>fast forward to present day
>I am successful with an engineering job, but can't form romantic relationships b/c she's always on my mind
What do I do, /adv/? I've never had a gf/am still a virgin because I can't get her off my mind. Should I try to form a relationship anyways just to try to forget about her?
pussy is pussy my nigga
it comes and it goes
just focus on getting some money
and stop being thirsy and chasing this ho
Forget about her. She was a nobody. If she suddenly becomes interested in you now, it'll be because of your success, and not because of who you are. You're no different now than the person who didn't interest her in high school.
>>17253070
Heh, forgot image.
I started dating a really wonderful woman last year. Problem is, her daughter is 50 pounds overweight.
I don't want to raise a five-year-old senior citizen. How do I whip this kid into shape?
Sign her up for soccer.
>>17253052
Soccer is over for the summer.
Take her to the park to play, sign her up for sports, dance classes, just anything to get her out of the house and moving. What kind of foods is she eating? Maybe encourage the house to eat healthier, with you partaking too.
This happened to me Saturday. It was my first time ever interacting with police in my life so I don't know if I can take legal action or not but I feel violated as hell:
>walking down street of a large city downtown at about 1 a.m. after a night of bar hopping, no one else around
>cop car come screeching up to the sidewalk and 2 cops jump out, draw on us and start screaming the HANDS LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS STOP RESISTING shit as we stand there wondering wtf is going on
>they separate us and like 8 more cars come rolling up
>one tells me UP AGAINST THE WALL and like 10 of them slam me into a store window and I get cuffed and also hit in the back of the knee with a nightstick (still cannot figure out wtf that was all about) but it didn't really hurt
>get searched and they keep asking me questions trying to trip me up
>I ask several times what is going on and the answers I got were "don't worry about it," "shut the fuck up," and "something happened"
>get a call saying the suspect is wearing shorts which I was not
>uncuff me and he says "there was a robbery and you perfectly match the description, white male 6'2 to 6'5, average build, wearing a red t shirt (cause I was certainly the only one in a city of several million who matched that)
>guys are still being assholes and have this attitude that I should be grateful they're letting me on my way, no apologies
>we walk off and are like "uhh wtf just happened"
I didn't get any names or badge numbers, but I'm sure it wouldn't be that difficult. Where do I stand legally? That was some total fucking bullshit and there's no way everything they did to me was by the book. My friend got it way easier, granted he wasn't the suspect but he said they kept trying to trip him also trying to get him to incriminate me.
Before anyone asks, I'm white, clean shaven normal looking guy who has a baby face. Maybe I'm flattering myself but I don't think I look like much of a hardened criminal.
tl;dr just read it you're not doing anything else
As a legalbro in Europe I'm pretty sure cops are allowed to do that. After all, you were a suspect.
Besides that, judges dont like making cops their job harder. So they wont blame them for anything. Plus you'd always lose if its their word against yours.
Look on the bright side - if you were black, you'd be dead or have broken bones at least.
>>17253003
I assume this is in America? What they did is more than likely legal. It falls under probable cause.
Depends on how closely you matched the suspect's description as well as how close you were, geographically, to the location of the crime, they were well within their right to do what they did.
You're just butthurt. Leave it.
