Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 493. page
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I'm a guy who enjoys practical jokes. So I went to see my new girlfriends parents. After dinner I excused myself to go relieve myself. Instead of going to the guest bathroom I found my way into their private bedroom with a bath. I sat down there and pinched a loaf. I'd been saving it for the occation so it was huge and hard. And it needed minimal clean up effort, so I wiped my butt and threw the paper in their waste basket.
My gf has been hard to reach and she cancelled on the movie we were going to see tomorrow.
Should I explain to them it was just...
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>>17246026
Oh, Im a bit stoned. I didnt take a shit in their bath, i took a shit on a toilet in their private bathroom. And also didnt flush. Left it there floating. Haha.
What are we doing here, OP?
>>17246036
idk advice on how to handle it
How do you show love to your male ffiends?
Grab their ass when you cuddle them
swallow their cum
>>17245766
check'm
Fake it until you make it
Well i fucking faked and now im scared as fuck
I have to fuck a girl tonight and i have never been inside one before
She thinks im a fucking sex machine
What do i do?
Seems like comedy gold scenario.
I'd just go on with it, what's there to lose? Virginity? If you'll be able to get it up in all that pressure you're already a winner imo. Wish you luck.
>>17245104
And it'll make for a funny story regardless of what happens.
>>17245104
>>17245104
It is fucking comedy
The bad one tho, everyone for some reason thinks i get all the pussy in the world, now i finally have the chance and im so fucking fucked
There is be alchool which is nice
What's there to lose?
Worst case scenario i cant find the hole to put the dick in
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Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always...
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I sent a picture of me with my shirt off to a girl I like. I feel immense guilt and embarrassed with myself. I feel terrible right now.
Anyone else have this happen before?
>>17242901
Take your pick grills
Girls, do you tend to pick male friends who are attractive to you? Or does that not matter when it comes to friendship?
So I dont usually come here but I have no idea where to turn. My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot past two months with me being sort of the starting point, however today she basically said she would break up if I kept on going like I do now. I really like her, she is amazing, yet I cant stop getting mad at her for very basic things. Now I just dont know if its worth fighting for because she might not like me anymore. Im really torn on how to act.
Only one thing to do. Kill yourself
>>17249379
>Im really torn on how to act.
How about acting like an adult?
Plus.. You probably don't like her that much if you keep getting mad at her..
>>17249414
Yeah, damn. I have to do that.
Well its mostly due to me being a jealous little bitch.
I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 4,5 months. Today she sent me short movie where a guy proposes to a girl with some singing and shit. Then she asked me If I would do something similar fir her (jokingly). I told her that If I was ever going to do that I wouldn''t copy anyone. Then I asked 'who said that i'll ever do that, heheh'. She responded 'I dont know, whatever'. Did I fuck up saying that? How do you even answer to things like this even If it's not serious question?
How's the sex?
>>17249244
Yes, you did. She looked at the video, felt jealous, and wanted to hear from you that you'd do it.
Nah, it just sounds to me like you took the joke out of it for her. You haven't even been dating for six months yet, it was an obvious tongue in cheek thing, and by answering more seriously you caught her off guard. Could be because she doesn't like to be reminded that you most likely will not get married, could be that she suddenly felt self-conscious joking about engagement in this early stage, could be that she heard something in your tone of voice that threw her off (like you were already sure that was never going to happen or god knows what). No doubt more options....
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> In love with a guy.
> He - 'Merica, Me - Aus
> plans to see me last year, I say no - as still had a ex floating around.
> planned to go on holiday together
> cancels - says something its not the right time for both of us. I am sure we will be together soon. e.g. he is someone.
> Still send nudes to him when sad af - he sometimes sends back.
> he has been...
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>>17249238
Worst part, I am not giving great guys a chance because of this.
Yeah that sounds like a long shot, plus he is seeing someone else so you need to delete block ignore and move on.
You're Australian? Please stay confined to your island friend.
Hi!
This might sound weird, but:
Where should I, as a gay male, realistically start looking for a partner to be in a slave(/sub)/master(/dom) relationship with (as slave/sub)?
Not necessarily 100% BDSM leathery type stuff.. Could be daily life as well without all the ridiculous and leathery stuff.
Thanks.
And sorry if this sounded really weird, I have honestly no idea where to start.
Try a site called Fetlife. I don't know if its still up but your only other options are craigslist or adult stores. Some adult stores have boards where people leave note or you can leave one about what your looking for.
>>17249095
Well, not Orlando
Seconding fetlife, but be safe when doing this stuff with random. Always meet first on neutral ground like a coffee shop to make sure they aren't a total creep. Then when you're with him make sure a friend knows where you are.
So I was at my usual coffee-shop-bar hangout spot last night after I got off work at midnight, and there was a girl there that I had never seen before, and she's super cute.
For almost an hour and a half she hung out behind the bar and did small menial tasks while she talked to me about stuff. I got her name, but I was kind of drunk by the time they closed and I left and neglected to ask her for her number.
How can I follow up on this without waiting around at the place for her to show up like a total creep? Did I fuck up by not getting her number? If it...
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>>17249024
Shameless self bump.
>>17249024
>How can I follow up without being a fucking creep?
if you go in sober she'll lose interest. go back under the same conditions as last night
>>17249107
You really think so?
I guess I can wait until next weekend. I'm just thinking she might forget who I am in that time. But if she doesn't, good on me, right?
I felt pretty weird staying until close there, too. I got the impression the male bartender that was there was really not into me hanging out and talking to this girl.
Hello /adv/
Today I forgot that it is my moms birthday. My dad texted to remind me and I called her directly after. I feel bad about this, but not truly. My mom, dad and my sisters get along and seem to relate to each other, generaly behaving like a family does.
I however have never felt like a part of the family, and if it was possible I would opt out and never care about them again.
Am I just autistic or is this feeling of not belonging / not wanting to connect with the family common? I've always kept to myself, and I don't hate them or anything like that....
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I'm on the same boat as you, anon.
It seems like you never connected with them. It may be some deep isues, it may be just the fact that they didn't spend with you enough time but it's their fault, not yours. It's not like it's child obligation to form connection with parents.
Don't feel shitty, just do whatever will make you happy.
Anyone acquainted with Tinder that can tell me what's going on/if anything is going on? I've used the app Swipely to show me people who've already liked me. When I go on Tinder and like them back, nothing happens. Also I've used Steven Kelly's photographs and got nothing, no matches. I emailed Tinder about it and got 10 matches instantly, then nothing for an hour or so. I replied to the email I sent and got another five instantly, then nothing again! An explanation I can figure is that while I was away from the app people have been liking me/liking me...
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>>17248907
You were using Steven Kelly's photos? Like - someone else's pictures?
What do you honestly expect to accomplish with that?
Maybe people just know you're full of shit
>>17248915
I would've never heard of Steven Kelly if not for 4chan. I've no idea how famous he is. I'm using his photos because he's obviously attractive and his photos are nice, and trying to see if my account is screwed or not. 30 women out of around 700 right swipes, is it normal? That's all I want to know. Like I said, I suspect my account is messed up for some reason. But when I go to the gays I get a match every second, so maybe not.
>>17248922
I'd say that's fairly normal for the easily fooled.
Use your own pictures. No selfies, no pictures with hot girls. Have like, 1 of you with a friend, 1 of you doing something you like (outdoor hobby)/you with your dog, and then one of you with a group of friends doing something that you like.
Have your description say something short and sweet - not a paragraph about your whole life.
Something like "New to [city redacted], avid cyclist and film lover. Trying to meet new people...
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Hey guys. I've been in a relationship for the past two years. I love my girlfriend so much, to the point where I'd sacrifice myself so that she may live. The thought of her getting hurt or dying makes me lose my mind. I don't feel the same way about anyone else, not even my family. We share everything, we let eachother know about everything. She's been so loyal to me. But I have a problem: I'm constantly attracted to other women. I haven't cheated on her yet but I'm scared I'll do it when the opportunity comes across. I feel like if I...
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>>17248899
Cut your eyes out, you'll never be attracted to a girl you can't see.
Be the person that you want to be.
It's that simple. Say no to yes, even if you regret it.
Drop her and go chase some ass if that's what you really want. You sound like you're not the least bit sexually attracted to this girl and you just admitted that if given the chance you'd fuck someone else. The cruelest thing you could do is lead her on and continue to use her as an emotional tampon while thinking about other women on the side.
Break up with her and find someone who your standards.
i need a new haircut, any suggestions?
Suicide
>>17248829
You have a moon pie face. Dunno if hair can help, loose weight.
>>17248829
Hitler youth
Me and my gf have been going out for over 2 months and she never shows me any affection, we've only hugged a few times and she's reluctant to do it. She rarely holds my hand and when I tried to kiss her she pulled away. She says she likes me but I feel unwanted and unloved. I'm her first boyfriend and I don't know if she's just shy. I'm considering whether I should break up with her because I can't continue like this. A relationship without any intimacy is just a friendship basically. What do?
>>17248821
That's not shyness. It's mental illness. She has some serious fucked up trauma in her past to make her not want to be touched. Or she has autism. But the former is more likely.
You should communicate what you said here, to her. See what she says. If she doesn't make immediate changes, dump her. You don't need that level of fucked up.
>>17248827
Thanks man, she's defos doesn't have autism cause she plays in a band, works with people and is really sociable. I figure I don't have much to lose anymore so I'll ask her why she's so distant.
>>17248857
You guys might need to just talk it out. She might be uncomfortable because she doesnt know how far you'll take things, or that youll rush her
