Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 379. page
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
Confidence seems like a alien substance to me. In my mind, confident people are delusional. How can you possibly believe that you are the best at anything in this world? There will always be someone better than you out there. How can you feasibly say "I will beat this person in this!" and believe it? What if they blow you out of the fucking water? Then what?
I don't understand confidence. Which is probably why I don't have any.
How do you even build confidence? It seems like the people with confidence were raised by their parents thinking they...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283521
>What am I missing?
Shades of gray.
Confidence is not about thinking you're the best in the world. That really WOULD be delusional, just as you say. Confidence is about understanding your competency and resiliency: even if you fail, you will survive.
I feel the same way you do op. Why do you think your worth anything? You're shit compared to some other people, how do you get it in your head that your effort is worth it?
you say it's being realistic, everyone else tells you you're a pessimist or jaded. I learned to just say fuck it and do it anyway, even if you're not good at it, or don't think you are. Who cares, if it won't kill you you might win you might lose, it's all temporary. Just do it.
>>17283521
You know those trick shot videos? The ones where they shoot a basket ball half way across a room, bounce it off a couple things, and it ends up in the hoop? On a abstract level those videos are a lot like confidence. One part skill, one part perseverance, and a dash of showmanship. In order to be confident in something you have to actually be good at it; or at least good relative to those you are trying to impress. Being good doesn't mean you will always succeed, but it does mean you will eventually succeed if you persevere. This is when showmanship comes in, you have to know your audience. In order to be confident you have to acknowledge your success, but if you don't acknowledge it in a manner that your audience deems acceptable your'll come off as arrogant.
>tl;dr you're a whinny unskilled bitch that gives up too easy and is too autistic to understand what your peers deem to be acceptable behavior...
I don't ever come here, so sorry if I break protocol.
My mom died a few months ago and other than the expected sadness I've handled it pretty well.
There is one problem though. A few years ago I lost my temper and said something mean to her. (I don't want to say what). She didn't cry or get upset, but I could tell that it hurt her.
Now, that's all I can think about. That look on her face when I hurt her feelings.
How do I learn to deal with this? She knew I loved her because I was able to tell her that, and show her by spending...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283451
firstly bruv sorry about your loss.
secondly bruv she is probably reading this at the moment and seeing that you're obviously regretting what you said and didn't mean it and are apologetic. hindsight is a crazy thing but i'm sure she knows you didn't mean it
Quit being a little FAGGOT and LIVE A GREAT LIFE like your MOTHER WOULD'VE WANTED YOU TO.
>>17283461
thanks man.
>>17283463
pic related
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years.
She's actually a pretty great partner. Spoils the fuck out of me, loves me to death, and does a whole lot. However she's fucking crazy. She's not okay with me looking at porn and while searching through my phone for it. Which she did. She found a lot. She also found out I've cheated on her twice in the span of out relationship. She screenshotted everything. and even got a little violent. what do I do
You don't deserve her?
Good b8
>found out I cheated on her twice
>Spoils me and loves me to death
You're a degenerate op, hope you get railed by karma.
>>17283430
God I love this picture, what does he think he's doing?
Anyway yeah OP sucks forever we're all agreed go away OP the end.
hey guys,
I wanted to get your opinion in today's dating culture. I think that men have the upper hand actually in dating. Women often times are sacrificing more of their emotions, and more of themselves to the man the deeper they go into the relationship. We get into a very vulnerable state of mind where we see the man as the protector in the relationship and lean on him for that. We have rejected every suitor but that one man, and we give it our all to that one person. Everything we have-- we share our experiences with you, we give our entire bodies to you, we...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283374
My girlfriend makes over double what I do, has 2 more degrees than I do, and has way more balls than I do. Our roles are completely reversed. This is similar to her 3 sisters and their husbands, also. High success women from a high success family. She leans on me for nothing but the love I give her. I would never dream of leaving. There's no pussy in the world more valuable than her's. To leave her would be financially and emotionally irresponsible.
Your theory falls flat when it comes to any woman...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283387
well honestly that's really sweet and nice to hear that you say no other woman is more valuable than yours. that's how it should be.
>>17283374
>I think that men have the upper hand actually in dating.
Oh shit, what?
Is this bait, or is this fantasy?
>Women often times are sacrificing more of their emotions.
Well, yeah, after being called 'creepy' too many times, men do tend to close off a lot.
>We get into a very vulnerable state of mind where we see the man as the protector in the relationship and lean on him for that.
Well,...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>be me
>be 100% heterosexual male
>inb4 nope your a faggot.mp3
>show me a nice pic of tits that cut off the rest of the womans body
>nice.jpg
show me a pic of a nice ass that crops out the rest of the body
>mmmmmh yeah.jpg
>show me a gif of a zesty girl twerking
>i'm diamonds.png
>show...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283346
You honestly think the general women population likes looking at penises? They're tools of the trade. It's the male body, especially a good looking one, that people like to look at.
>>17283346
Same. Vaginas really don't do anything to me. I enjoy a nice ass, or a nice pink asshole or a nice pair of tits a lot better. Ask me to fap to a pic of a vagina and I'd probably have a hard time staying hard.
>>17283346
nope your a faggot.mp3
Well, I'm trying to turn my life around by being more productive. I'm hitting the gym now and I've started investing my time more on reading books and learning new things like teaching myself sign language, but there's one thing that's consistently hindering me. I'm constantly going back to viewing porn and masturbating to it. I fap around six times a day, which I hear is not healthy. I also masturbate prone which is when you're in a lying down position and you masturbate by rubbing your penis towards the ground.
My personal favourites...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Get a hobby, loser. How do you even have the time to masturbate more than once a day unless you have no life?
Uh, get off the internet, you have no self control obviously.
>>17283343
that's what I'm doing but during time off my impulses get the better of me and I just want to masturbate to relieve myself.
I recently got my Associates and now I am continuing on with my education.
The problem is, I don't qualify for a whole lot of programs for higher education. The one I'm currently in requires a few CS classes and for the life of my I don't understand the subject matter. I started my first class of the degree this summer and I'm currently getting fucked by an intro class.
My parents are paying for my school and I told them that maybe this isn't the right path for me. I suggested maybe a technical program or learning a trade may be a little...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
only 3 good choices
EE
Electrician -> EE
Electrician -> Master Electrician
>>17283342
What about HVAC, is that a meme?
>>17283342
I'll look into it. Acquaintence from high school is an electricians journeyman right now.
My boyfriend went through a really shitty breakup before me. He was ghosted and genuinely horrible to him. It's really sad to hear and he did talk to me about it before we started dating, he still feels bad about it to this day. Because we've been dating for a month and have been close for much longer and he still feels bad about it, how do I help him? I told him that he's not in the wrong and that she was an awful person (seriously she was, I'm not just saying that because I'm his gf) but he clearly is still bothered by it.
I want to help him...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283260
If he is like me his head is a cluster fuck right now.
I have no advice but to give it time.
>>17283260
you're a very caring person. just be there for him and continue being good to him. he should have waited until he was over it before getting involved with anyone, but sometimes you can't help it if fate intervenes.
it will go one of two ways: he will get over it and be a happier person and you will be happier for it.
or, the pain will fester and make him cold and bitter until he starts taking it out on you.
i hope for the former. good luck.
>>17283260
Just do your best to be a great girlfriend, try to be forgiving when he gets mopey about his ex, and don't be afraid to call her a fucking bitch from hell who never deserved him in the first place.
You shouldn't put up with this forever -- after a certain point you have to say "Look, you need to stop spending all your emotional energy on your piece-of-shit ex, I'm your girlfriend now, not her" -- but I'd give it another month or two first. Sorry you have to deal with this, you...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
So basically I sit in a shit situation largely of my own making. The girl I love and want to be happy chose a Fucking nutter.
I chose to act in a way to push her away and keep her a friend because my issues with family were more significant. I kissed her twice, used to talk to her for hours on whatsapp, and now its gone. Now it would be fine if she had. chosen a decent bloke but she chose a legit nutter who is nothing but a bundle of self pity and autism.
The man calls her a slag a lot (I get how it works I wasn't a gentleman as such either but to excess), he is constantly a cunt to people, and posts 4chan memes a lot on Facebook. In addition to this, the cunt found out my internet names and spied on me, found out I liked the girl, and tried to manipulate me through it into alienating her. The cunt constantly feels sorry for himself, he tried to cut himself in front of everyone at a party and I sat there with him for 10 minutes trying to talk him out of it while nobody else cared. He gave no reason for it. Meanwhile, my whole family is falling apart, my dad is a legit psycho abuse Fucking arsehole, my mum is dying and my brother is cutting himself and I don't whine at all.
I now almost want to forget my homelife and be with her just to help her dodge the Fucking psycho, what do I do? Is there anything I can do?
She's the kindest girl I have ever met I don't want to see her end up with an emotionally unstable creep who will cause nothing but short term happiness and long term pain.
bump this
someone has some tips for this guy somewhere, i have nothing in mind but to intervene but that's stupid and we both know that
>>17283259
Did you expect her to wait forever? If you broke them up and fixed her up with a decent guy would you move on or would you still be jealous? You missed your shot.
So... the worst thing he does to her is call her a slag?
>inb4 no he does a million other things too and here are some examples
Quit your bullshit and stop pretending that you're concerned about her. If you really were concerned about her, you wouldn't have spent most of your post talking about how he's supposedly an awful person and how your life sucks, you'd have talked about how he doesn't treat her well
Tell me about your situation, how you look, what your current life-status is, about the girl you love, her looks/status/situation, and I will try to help you as much as humanly possible. Breaking out of the friendzone is tricky, but I know how to do it.
Ok. I'm pretty desperate so I will take any advice.
Me: 21 , Student , maybe 7/10
She: 20 , Student, I don't really know for me she's attractive , for some of my friends she's only fugly.
Knew her for some years now but she always had a bf which in the end dumped her by text LOL and then she had a fuck buddy which was friendzoned guy before me. He wanted smth more serious so they stopped fucking, she's finally free. The problem is that she doesn't think of me as a possible sex/relationship partner. Even better she introduces me on every...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283218
I want to know how you did it first.
Sounds like you are dealing with a chick that really likes to be single, since she stopped fucking the guy after he asked for relationship status. You need to repeat what he did, but without his mistake at the end. Had he kept fucking her, they would probably have ended up a couple if their personalities were compatible.
Your clue here is that guy she fucked. Do you know him? If not, fucking befriend that guy no matter what. Add him on facebook, find out his interests. Stalk him like you would stalk your crush. If you can get bro-status with this dude, you might get him...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
I am starting to feel that getting into a relationship is really just RNG or begging RNGesus to assist you.
I am 26 and have never been in a relationship. I know many people who probably shouldn't be in one but are in one. Which is fine.. but what I want to know is how they even got into one.
It seems like NOTHING but RNG comes into play when it comes to relationship. No skill involved, no formula, no... sense? It just seems like people try until they get into one through the grace of RNG.
What am I missing? My friends have told me that its getting...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
One thing that really REALLY helps "Noticed the capitalized really because its REALLY important" Is that you my friend you, you , YOUUUUU you need to look GOOD
And by looking good I mean you need to be in good physical health mm hmmmm yessssssssssssss that is correct good physical health. Good physical heath translates to feeling better in general and that will make socializing and learning in general just much easier and the sex is also great
Listen have you thought about how terrible it would be to have sex if you're out of shape? Well LMFAO I...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
How many girls have you asked out in your lifetime?
If you don't give a number, I'll assume 0.
You need to be charismatic and/or flirtatious (easy with practice), or otherwise really appealing (affluent, famous, etc.) but the latter won't get you a good relationship.
How do I get a gf if I look like pic related?
>>17283151
summerfag.
>>17283151
Cut your hair so it doesn't look so weird. Make sure you build up some muscle. Many women don't mind extremely manly faces if you've got manly muscles and a voice to go with it. (My wife is one of these. She likes how I look OK even though I've got finer features. She'll point out some guy she thinks is hot and he'll be some CroMagnon looking dude).
Haircut/facial hair
Anyone with PTSD here? How do you cope? Does it get better? Do relationships work or are they even possible?
Shut up.
>>17283088
Thanks for the bump I guess.
My friend started therapy months ago and the progress is really slow. She dropped out of highschool. Her health is bad. She doesn't seem to be coping.
She has an amazing relationship with her boyfriend though, even though she was raped for years by her cousin. So it definitely can work.
I got 2 sick grandmothers and a very broken mom who's not coping. 1 is terminally ill from cancer and she only has a few weeks left, the other is doing fine but it's still tough on the family.
Whenever I try to talk to my boyfriend about it, he just repeats "it's hard when family is ill" and "it's a part of life" adding to that he says "people move on" - honestly, it's insulting but I don't want to start a fight.
He keeps emphasizing that I need to be open and honest but wtf?
I've been with...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
What do you want him to be acting like?
>>17283055
>"it's hard when family is ill" and "it's a part of life" adding to that he says "people move on"
what the fuck you you expect him to say? I'm s-sorry your grandparents are dying? Do you wan't some kind of speech? I would of said the same thing if I was in his position. I honestly wouldn't know what to say or whats the most "conforting".
I'm not trying to be an asshole but, what exactly do you want him to...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17283055
Maybe the situation makes him uncomfortable. If he's had anything similar happen to him, he might be trying to stay out of it to save himself the grief. Or he could just not care; both are possible.
So i got REALLY BORED one day and browsed through a female friend's friends list on Facebook and noticed this cute girl. She's a 6.5-7/10 at least, likes anime, cosplays, the whole weeb package. Apparently she used to live in the same town as I did but moved close to Seattle. The best I can describe her is a shy Ramona Flowers. So I ask my friend to put in a good word for me and see if I could message her on facebook. She said she would do it and that we would make a cute couple. 2 days passed, nothing. I asked the friend for any luck and she says that the Ramona girl...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>17282666
Listen Satan.
There is no way you can spin this at this point without coming off stalker/weirdo. Take the hint.
>>17282666
>Ramona Flowers
Oh boy.
>>17282666
Isn't there a "recommended friends" list?
