Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 376. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 376. page
What are some good resources to start to learn programming? Also what languages are good for beginners?
I'm not programmin myself but I heard that there is a lot of sites that can help you. Best language for begginers seems to be Python.
>>17284755
C is the way to go for newbies
https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/C_Programming
C is a solid choice, but Python isn't bad either. If you're more interested in web programming, I'd jump straight into Java or Javascript though. I suggest you check out Codeacademy, they offer free, accessible tutorials.
I met the perfect girl 2 years ago and now we're talking about getting married.
I love everything about her. The problem is she never sucks my dick and never will because she's a brainwashed christian. She's never done it but I had bj from my past gfs and I loved it.
Is there a way of convincing her or should I just deal with it?
>>17284739
tell her you spoke to god and he wants her to suck your dick or she's going to hell
get ready for one MEAN blowjob, shes gunna suck the devil right outta your dick.
also if she's catholic she's probably already sucked the pastors cock for "confirmation"
Wait until she marries you and force her, she's brainwashed Christian so she should understand you wear the pants, or you won't be...
>>17284765
what if she doesn't believe me?
>>17284773
what happens if she tells her pastor? I don't want to rape her
Title says it all really. I do things because I know they are right. Just sometimes I don't want to.
One example:
>eBay purchase
>seller sends me wrong item
>they email me asking to return it
>open parcel anyway
> $160 value
> mfw I only spent $20
>could just keep it, their mistake. Not like they can do anything about it.
>actual item arrives
>don't really want to return the other parcel
>doing it anyway
I kind of want to keep it, and I know I could get away with it too.
Does that make me a bad person?
Just because I'm going to send it back, I'm not necessarily cancelling out the voice telling me to keep it.
What do you guys think? Am I a bad person inside and just denying it by doing what is right?
What would you do?
Depends what the $160 package was, anon.
>>17284708
You could try keeping it. You might get a court summons through the letter box one day though. See what happens, you could get away with it I guess
>>17284708
This is what morality boils down to. Do you do the right thing out of social guilt, or personal guilt?
If it is only ever social guilt, then you are likely a bad person who simply doesn't want to be caught (leading to isolation etc.) Bad however, is relative - if you consistently have feelings of wanting to murder someone, that is a far different bag of worms than the urge to shoplift.
Now, personal guilt - if you genuinely feel bad for doing bad things, then you are likely a good person. On top of this, if you are compelled to do nice things for others with no expectation of a reward, that is another strong point in the favour of a good person.
But this isn't exactly fair, as most people experience a mix of both, constantly and somewhat interchangeably. For example, a good person would never hurt a dog. But lets say they are having the worst day of their life and want to scream at something living - they might just terrify a dog by screaming at them, and then feel guilt and remorse later. But in the presence of peers, maybe this person decides to not shout, because it isn't socially acceptable - it's twofokd morality. The threat of being socially isolated is a handy backup for when a good person might lose themselves for a moment.
It's messy, but always go with what feels right to you. If that is social pressure, fine, do the right thing for a shallow reason. No-one would think less of you. But don't fight your true nature out of spite - if you genuinely feel bad for doing a bad thing, it will eat away at you until you make it right.
Tl;dr - do the right thing for whatever reason feels right to you.
How to get over the fact that you will never be with the best girl you could spend your life with, because she is a lesbian?
I swear to god, this fucking life of mine.
>>17284650
THERE ARE LITERALLY MILLIONS.
I fall in love errryday. After a breakup when I was 16 (which at the time I was devastated) I learned to respect how unfair life is. If a girl doesn't like you then move on. That doesn't mean I don't feel any pain but I understand that it isn't meant to be and I go and find someone else.
>>17284807
There's the difference between you and me. I don't purposely look for girls. I don't date girls, I think that the whole philosophy of dating is fucking stupid. If I'm gonna be with someone, it has to come up from a random encounter...
>>17284807
>THERE ARE LITERALLY MILLIONS.
*billions.
There are about 3.6*10^9 women on the planet. Well, females at least.
How do I make eye contact with women? Whenever an even just moderately attractive woman looks at me I can't look back. People look at me a whole fucking lot, it's because I'm 6'6" / 225 lbs and live in a country where the average male is maybe 5'10", I should be used to it, but whenever women do it I don't know wtf to do and immediately look away and ignore them.
What is wrong with me??
pic unrelated.
>>17284647
Where are you from? Sounds like southern europe or south america or something.
Just speak to them as if they were guys. Don't give a fuck really, it helps.
>>17284647
eye contact implies sexual attraction and conveys confidence, you looking away signifies that you don't find them attractive and or don't have confidence
Anyone here been on antidepressants? How did it go?
I went to the doctors in hopes of seeing a therapist but since she urged me to go on lexapro first.
I'm very on the fence if I want to start using them for my anxiety and depression.
Any advice would be very helpful
Here is my conclusion of the year I took antidepressants
you should use antidepressants to push yourself to a new state of wellbeing, not on your daily life. They should be temporary.
they will do nothing if you aren't willing to study what it is causing your unhappiness.
What I experienced when I took them was that the veil of sadness I always carried with me suddenly dissapeared and it was somewhat easier for me to deal with my problems. In particullar, I became willing to meet new people.
However, they dind't make me completely happy. I would say my mood improve from a 3/10 to a 5/10. The antidepressants blocked my sadness and my numbness. My threshold for coping raised and even if I wanted I couldn't feel terribly sad about nothing.
During the year I took antidepressants I made a new group of friends which now I abandoned and I started to appreciate myself a little more. It helped me to become more sociable and I discovered a few things about myself. Now I would say I am a constant 4/10.
I stopped taking them when their effect started to disappear and I would need them to keep up.
So... that is my experience with them if it is useful for you. They work, but take care.
>>17284606
i've been on them (zoloft, specifically) for a month and a half now. it's been pretty good for anxiety, hasn't done much for depression - so it's harder to get the motivation to do things, but when i actually do it i'm not as scared. i was really worried about starting them at first but the worst that can happen is you decide you dont like taking them and stop (gradually, don't quit suddenly).
if you have any specific questions i'll track this thread
>>17284644
Thank you for telling me about your experience.
The way you've described it to me has given me much more insight on exactly how you feel on them.
How did you find getting off of them later on?
Anyone can tell me how can I do some realistic face swap so it looks like it's not me and that this photo is a fake??? Or do it if u are good in photoshoping please
Only if you tell us the backstory behind how this happened to you
>sides in paradise
why did you walk around naked?
>>17284538
is that realistic enought?
Hello anyone reading this.
I have 26 and have phimosis, if you dont know what that its, basically the skin around my dick dont retract compleatly because the neck its too tight.
I had read a lot, and seems a circuncition its the best option to this, but i really wonder if should do it.
I asexual, the only sexual experience i ever had was really unpleasant, was concencual but still...very unplesant and maked me affraid of have sex with anyone, so really dont see the point if fix this if i would not gonna have sex with anyone.
The only point in favor its the bacteorological danger that may have, i clean myself well but still dont want have any infections caused by this.
I dont really have anyone to talk about this and would like some advice.
Please excuse my bad english
>>17284528
I had it pretty where it was painful to stretch it back.
but a regime or stretching solved it (mostly, still a little tight)
stretch it regularly until you can get it right back
Pull it back every time you piss.
Pull it back and leave it back while you sleep
worked for me
>>17284548
>I had it pretty
*pretty bad
>>17284548
did you know where i can info about the stretch regiment thing? i had seen it mentioned but never found any links
Readings for anyone interested using tarot and animal cards. Just need date of birth.
Sept 10 1987
18 augusth 1990
>>17284529
Ok let me start by saying you always feel like the odd one out you are very picky and like order almost to the point of perfection. This causes you to feel emence issues with self confidence because you set yourself this unbelievable high standard of what is "right" you are complicated but instead of seeing the good in that you see the bad and continue to self hate.
So. As easy as its said and not so easy done stop with the critical side of your nature stop worrying about perfection, this will take awhile as its been engrained into you. Start small let a bit of disorder into your life but by bit and this will start an action where things will improve.
Work/study- You are the type of person that at the beginning is all guns blazing but once in the thick of things you start to procrastinate. My advice here is music, pick a song you enjoy one you can listen to for hours on end and play this song while you study let it be your motivator.
Family- Things are ok in the big picture. You get annoyed but look at the big picture they say it because they genuinely care.
My first thought about you- "Stop comparing everyone to them and you will find the one"
Should I visit a psychologist or psychiatrist? I won't write my whole life experience, but ATM:
1. I definately have depression
2. I definately have OCD
3. I am afraid of people, I get high blood pressure when being in big groups and meeting some certain types of people on the street (social anxiety)
4. I definately have anxiety neurosis
5. I definately have the lowest possible self worth
6. I don't go out AT ALL, since I finished my IT engineer college studies last march I barely got out of my parents' house
7. I have literally ZERO friends. ZERO.
8. I have health problems (physical) that are not connected to any sickness/illness (I had maaaany examinations), mostly pains in stomach, feel of grip in my throat.
So - Should I visit a psychologist or psychiatrist?
>>17284520
Do you want drugs? Psychiatrists are the ones that do that, psychologists do things like cognitive behavioral therapy. Sometimes a mix of both is most effective. You should probably just find one you can go to for an initial evaluation and hear what their opinion is.
>>17284649
I just want to end the suffering.
which of these illnesses do you recommend? i want attention too. social anxiety is probably best because it also gives me excuses...
Good morning everyone. This won't be worded the best way, nor may people get it, but please listen to what I have to say, and what I have to ask. I am 31 years old. I am African American( In before standard black person jokes. Trust me, this comes into play.) I dislike my job. I work with someone I have known him 10 years and I can't stand him. He is very high and mighty, he acts like he owns the entire world and it owes HIM. IF you want details as to our "extensive" history, ask and I will comment. I want to get a new job, I want to leave but a few things stop me from doing so.: 1 The reason for anything; money. This job pays well. 2. Getting another job that pays as much may be difficult. 3. I am unsure if this same thing won't happen at another job, were I to get one. I know I am not listing all the details, as I type this I think I should have thought this more out, but I want to ask for advice now. Please feel free to ask any details but some kind words of advice would help. This is driving me nuts. I think about finding a job I would like, but at times I feel I am Mr. Boring and can't think of anything to go for. Also before I forget, not bait, b8, or anything like that. Just a jumbled 5 am request for advice
>>17284511
I don't need any more details than this
>1 The reason for anything; money. This job pays well.
Well good for you. Learn to appreciate it, faggot.
>2. Getting another job that pays as much may be difficult.
Well then the more of a reason to learn to appreciate your current then.
>3. I am unsure if this same thing won't happen at another job, were I to get one.
There's no such thing as dream jobs. Anywhere, literary anywhere will be downsides to a job AND people you won't get along well with, or who are plain asshole's. Learn to deal with it. Ignore those people and get as small contact as you can with them. Concentrate on and enjoy the rest of your life. You do have a life beside your job, don't you? Hobbies, passions, family, friends, a girlfriend?
>>17284718
A bit harsh, but yes, I do have those things outside of work. Problem is I am stuck with this guy in a tiny room for 8 hours, 5 days a week, kinda sucks.
>>17284511
Can you talk to Your boss, or HR, about it? Not even to get him in trouble, just to see if you can be partnered with someone else instead.
So..
>girlfriend oftentimes will do something that doesn't make sense to me
>I ask questions to understand first, to make sure I'm not hearing anything wrong
>See that something could have been done a lot better and in a way that would benefit both of us
>Normally she used to understand and say she sees what I mean and agrees, then we move on with no problems
The thing is, this sort of thing usually involved both of us, and got me stressed out a bit, IE: she says something that is rude without meaning to, knowing she didn't mean it I bite my tongue for my response, and try to calmly get to the bottom of it with her and clear things up. The problem is, we both take things personally, and can get defensive easily, which USUALLY isn't a problem because we can contain it, but recently...
>She has been stressed out from her new job a ridiculous amount, too much
>We've talked about this and shes aware its stressing her out so as not to take it out on me
>Same thing happens, only now she takes it personally, and starts getting
defensive, taking it personally, etc, and starts arguing and getting upset.
>We end up calming down, fix the problem and make up, but it happens again
>and again
> and again, to where its been going on for a few months like this and I have long since had it.
>I've lost my temper countless times, and we've gotten so bad we are saying horrible things to each other (that I know we don't mean) and things that aren't okay (like personal attacks) that we vowed we would never say
>slowly stopped apologizing and fixing things all the way, instead delaying our talks to fix things until we're calm and have had time to think.
>keeps happening, "breaks" between talks are getting longer and longer.
>just basically not getting better, at best doesn't get worse, but sometimes does.
>see things going down the shitter, but don't want to let them fail, want to fix this shit and restore our relationship to what it once was, and better.
>what do I do
Any thoughts on what I/she/we can do better? Willing to do anything at this point..
You just described my relationship with creepy accuracy. I don't have answers, but I've come to the conclusion that her behaviour is due to a combination of narcissism and anxiety over the way she's perceived.
I guess it helps a little to understand where her emotions and responses are coming from, but if you're anything like me it's not much help.
The longer it goes on the more I believe it just can't be fixed.
Sorry bro.
>>17284949
Thanks bro, I appreciate the response.
Idk, I guess whats really affecting me the most now is shes starting to try to say its all my fault, because now I get so upset its so fucking bad to the point I end up yelling, which is apparently the reason she gets so bad. But it always starts with me pointing something out to fix it and her sounding upset or bothered or stressed. Sometimes she even apologizes now and says her throat derps when she says something with a bad tone, even though that doesn't make sense that a throat derp could make you sound normal aside from a crappy tone, right? And this keeps happening more and more and I'm buying it less and less every time.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just so frustrated and at a point where I don't know what if anything would even help or work to try. She wants ME to see a therapist for my issues I apparently have even thought this is the only reason I'm not okay! Fuck man.
Also bump for if anyone can help out with our situations.
>be me
>be in middle school
>infinite lust for pussy because puberty
>deep down know im a 4/10 and awkward as hell
>also still in fucking middle school
>meet 7/10 weeb girl
>kind of a bitch at first but soon loosens up
>on my birthday she sends me an email
>expecting generic happy birthday message
>actually asking me out
>o shit
>panic a little because I never saw it coming
>agree to dating her
>awkward middle school romance
>all we do is hug but mostly the same as before
>for once I don't just wanna fuck everyone
>i think I understand love
>she dumps me
>tells me she asked me out as a prank at a sleepover
>tells me she kept it going out of pity
>tells me nobody will ever really love me
>feels bad
>time passes
>never forget what she told me
>never try with any more girls
>a year later I reconnect with her
>she's a SJW now
>don't understand SJW rules yet
>constantly scolded for doing "triggering" things
>don't even know what trigger means yet
>she tells me bruises trigger her
>sends worst bruise possible like the little shit I am
>she freaks
>reminds me that I'm a failure of a human
>stops talking
>k
>3 years later
>still remember what she said
>completely accepted my fate
>reconnect with her a 3rd time
>still an SJW but mellowed out a bit
>get close with her again
>slowly reveal my big secrets
>tell her when I got raped in elementary school
>we end up dating again
>actual couple stuff this time
>she actually loves me I think
>enjoy life for once in years
>one day she goes silent
>posts pictures of her and my friends hanging out
>friend tells me she said she hates me
>I try to talk to her about it
>silent for 4 days
>finally responds
>tells me I was a terrible person
>tells me I was a disappointment
>asks to be just friends again
>I say no because I'm too much of a mess for that
>days later find out she's talking shit about me
>still isn't over her
>can't do anything regardless
>months pass
>I'm over it
>find out she's still talking shit
>two can play at that game
>make fun of her made up gender to a friend
>someone shows her the chat record
>SJW rage
>openly posts about it
>loopholes a statement I made to claim I'm stalking her
>I just checked her Twitter once
>I was having a bad time after break up that's all
>posts that I'm some sort of sick bastard that's gonna attack her
>says she's not safe
>I wouldn't hurt a fly I swear
>openly posts that I lied about rape story
>she has 200 followers
>a lot of people I know
>sends me message telling me to stop stalking her
>don't make fun of her made up gender
>I say ok
>also ask for her to be an adult and not do the posting she did
>she takes everything I say out of contexts
>posts it to make me look bad
>tells people about my rape stuff
>tells them I made it up
>actually ready to die
>can't do anything about it or I'll look bad
>tries to tell people I molested her
>too far
>uses it as blackmail to keep me quiet
>can't do anything about it
>it's been months
>I'm still fucked up from everything she's done to me
>thinking about it a lot rn
>think about it a lot period
>sometimes can't sleep over it
Help me robots.
Sorry about the long post, I just felt like I should explain the whole thing in detail.
I am sorry I don't have much advice to give on this but I am very sorry she did this to you. If possible, can you avoid her, women like that never seem to be worth it.
Advices/thoughts on distant relationships, also post your own experiences and thoughts on it.
Personally I know it is a challenge, on both fronts and it's a shared struggle, but I say that as long as both of us want it to work we will make it happen.
My paranoia is fueled by the omnipresent of shallow people, nevermind the challenges that such couples needs to pass through before uniting in real life.
I don't have any intention of cheating now that we agreed to be each other's.
I plan to make our initial first real life meeting as soon as possible in order to get the final hang of each other and cement the "deal".
Don't do it unless there's a good chance one of you will move. Definitely do not do it across countries unless you're in Europe and can drive 45 minutes and be in a different country.
>>17284467
I had one for 5 years. We were engaged. She left me.
Don't do it. I know you still will because I was where you are now at one time. I never listened to what others said. It's likely you won't either.
Let's just say I wish I'd never met her. The long distance relationship pretty much ruined my life. It'll start affecting you mentally as well...
>long distance relationship
>relationship
Dude, you said you have never met. It's not a relationship. It's an internet crush.
Does anyone here have an addictive or incredibly impulsive personality? I mean that quite seriously.
I believe I do, and even my sister has said it herself that she thinks I get easily addicted to new things. I’ll give a few examples. I could give dozens really.
>Sudden shoe obsession. Fell in love with sneakers. Within two weeks dropped nearly $1k on two pairs of adidas shoes, some jordans, some nikes
>Get my first ever car. Previous owners left it a complete mess. Spend the next two weeks obsessively, fanatically cleaning it every single day to my definition of clean (It was meticulously done)
>Porn addiction, not so much dozens of times a day, but just in general a crutch - sometimes spend hours just watching it for no reason (goes hand in hand with internet addiction)
>Used to smoke cigarettes, quit.
>Addicted to fitness and exercise - on some days do up to 40+ sets of weights, or workout 2,3 and 4 times in a single day (I’m unemployed, so a lot of free time)
>TV/Movie addiction. If I discover a new TV show that I like you can bet I’ll sit on my arse for the next 12-16 hours, that turns into days of excessive TV watching
More posts incoming. Reached post limit.
>>17284464
>Get lego set from parents for christmas, don’t touch it for 4 months, suddenly get the urge to do it, Spend hours upon hours working on it for days until it’s done
>Not a big video gamer, but I play casually. If I find a game I like I will absolutely binge the fuck out of it until completion. Same sort of situation as mentioned with the TV shows
>I drink alcohol. I’m not an alcoholic by any means, and I can go weeks without drinking, but when I do drink, it’s usually impossible that I’ll have one or two. I’ll binge and have 10-15 drink (usually being that person to make a fool of themself. Blacked out heaps of times and forgotten entire nights. Crashed my car at one point drunk.
>Start pegging my clothes on the clothes line with all pink pegs jokingly. Thought it was funny. I knew deep down I had a weird obsession with it suddenly and I kept hanging my clothes out with only pink pegs.
>addicted to coffee and caffeine, mad for it
In some of those things mentioned above, they can be addictions, small obsessions or things I impulsively do. The impulsivity is one of the worst because in short bursts I can just drop a shit load of money and end up regretting it a lot. I mentioned above that I’m unemployed, and I have about $2k in the bank, while living with parents helps a lot, this doesn’t stop me from being incredibly foolish with my money. The other week I realised I needed some new joggers for exercise, so I went for a drive and dropped $120 on new shoes. Not something I can really afford, but I did it anyway. I did the same a couple of months back and dropped $350 on a nice bluetooth speaker. I could go on and on with examples but you get the idea.
Anyway, this is not a issue I take lightly. It’s been a problem for years. But on top of that the addictive nature of the internet has made me lose interest in many other hobbies. I don’t even read anymore, and I struggle to even focus on large paragraphs for even a few seconds. Not for my lack of attention span, I just lose interest. It’s like my mind is always racing. It has often interfered with my sleep at night.
tl;dr additive, impulsive personality, don’t know what to do.
P.S. Diagnosed with depression a couple of years back. Don’t know if that helps. Not on any medication or anything though.
Anyway, I've said as much of what I feel is important. If anyone else has any similar experiences I'd love to hear from you.
![IMAG0151[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/35cNfQF.jpg "IMAG0151[1]")
