Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 36. page
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I just found out that my boyfriend of a year lied to me about his ex's name both last and first name. I also found out that he texted his friend that he was still in love with her, three months ago. Meanwhile my boyfriend knows about all of my exs truthfully and he makes sure im not in contact with him or any other boys which i abide to. I also saw that his block list on his phone was clear vs mine being full of people he asked me to block, we agreed to this mutually. I am fucking furious. Things have been going really well for us these past few months, now I feel blind-sighteted.How should I proceed?
>>17362425
Break up with him, depress about it for a few weeks, then realize that not everyone is meant to be together and you'll just find someone else until you meet the right one
>>17362425
you thought they were going well but they never were. You were betrayed and must decide if you want someone that will treat you like this. From experience you should get out.
>>17362442
I sacrificed so much for him, and respected all his boundaries. I feel so played. Are there really people out there that wont do this to me?
How does it feel to be loved? To be happy?
Why have I never experienced those feelings?
You got a bad lot in life anon, I guess. The fact that you can post here means you've got something going for ya.
>>17362420
Trust me, it's so much worse knowing what it's like and losing it than not knowing at all.
>>17362626
>he fell for the "he has a computer so he has no problems" meme
Im 18, female, and I joined a guys soccer team because theres no female team where I live.
Do you think its okay to shower with them after games? I dont mind showing myself naked but would it be awkward for them?
>>17362407
Don't do it unless you absolutely must.
They will either think you are a slut or a lesbian
Yes, it's awkward.
Hey /adv/,
There was this girl I knew for 14 years now since we were in high school.
She was nice and gentle and we shared quite a few things.
I started to develop a liking to her 2 years ago and I want to ask her out but she said she wasn't interested in boyfriends (didn't ask why).
We haven't talked for awhile as I wanted to see if she'd start the convo for once.
Should I move on from her /adv/ or should I wait?
*any advice would be helpful*
The ball's in her court. Waiting it out will be a reality check for you, but go with what feels right for you.
>>17362399
We haven't talked for 5 days and she only just started a convo with me
>>17362391
Be direct with what you want and then move on, bro
It may be a bit of a long read but please help me. I'm so stuck. I'm really torn up about this.
>I'm K
>meet this guy on an online game. Let's call him X.
>hit it off instantly; exchange Skype details
>he's extremely charming, we have an awful amount in common
>our personalities clash, he's a bit cocky but in a super hot way
>when we are great, we are GREAT
> but he can be extremely rude and condescending at times
>we are both extremely sexually attracted to each other
>I admit I have feelings for him, he says he doesn't feel the same, he's just having fun
>we fight and stop talking often but always find each other again
>one day he tells me to go fuck myself and we stop talking for a few months
>we once again reconnect
>things seem..different this time
>our talks go deeper. We discuss our deepest secrets, dreams, goals. We talk every day.
>we skype all the time (like usually 5-6 hours at once)
>constant flirting from both sides
>he admits he has feelings for me but he hates the distance so he says he can't be with me
>I'm heartbroken, I feel like I'm falling in love with him
>I tell him that
>says he hates the word love
>even more heartbreak
>says he would choose me every time over other girls but long distance relationships make him uncomfortable but swears he has intense feelings for me (but not love)
Pt. 2 coming up now
>>17362385
Pt. 2
>THeN OnE DAy
>says he has made a hard decision
>he's gonna fly to his hometown to visit his friends and family and at the same time see his highschool sweetheart, there's a chance she will move to his state with him
>didn't know he was talking to another girl.
>I'm in pieces. Tell him. He says he's sorry but says he's allowed to talk to whoever he wants, "we aren't in a relationship, K"
>I'm still wrapped around his finger, I give him the cold shoulder for a while
>he goes to his state. We are still talking every day
>things don't work out with this girl. He says they didn't connect in the way he hoped
>I'm secretly happy
>BUT he tells me he hooked up with another girl who he hasn't spoken to in ages (apparently he dated her sister when he was younger and claims that's their "history together" and he says he feels like he deeply knows her)
>claims that suddenly he's in love with her?? He's never felt this way?? He wants to give his life to her??
>I'm devastated. Where the fuck did this come from?
>I'm angry
>I lie and say I too have hooked up with some super hot guy (trying to make him angry or jealous idk)
>doesn't seem to affect him
>he posts edgy tumblr posts like "when I think about us not being together, I get depressed. Etc. "The kicker is that I love you." "#iminlove"
>I'm pissed the fuck off. He reconnects with someone for a day and he's in love?
>she rejects him,says she's not interested in a relationship
>LOL
>>17362390
>>17362390
I pretend to be supportive
>he's acting all devastated
>I actually meet someone. Let's call him D. It's harmless fun. We aren't even dating. We are just messing around. We both have the same kinks.
>I tell X.
>he seems to be fine, but makes one or two comments that hint at jealousy
>I break things off with D, not feeling it. We will just be friends. All is well.
>X tells me he has something important to tell me. But doesn't want to tell me straight away cause he doesn't want me to make assumptions
>HEREEEE WE GOOO
>he gets drunk on skype one night and I tell him to tell me what he needed to
>he says "I think I'm in love with this girl. But she's very far away. I don't know if she feels the same"
>I'm like "u talkin about me" so he's like "yeh"
>then I GO OFFFFF and I'm like "so I'm fucking Plan B. U literally just told me you were in love with another girl. And now that those two others didn't work out I'm the fucking back up plan?? You don't even know what love is etc.."
>X says "no no no. I should've told you before I went back to my home state, I made a mistake. This is why I didn't want to tell you this so soon"
>im angry, all I've wanted is for my dream guy to love me and now he says he does and it feels wrong???
>the worst part is that the night he told me he was SO good to me. Complimenting me, telling me he would finally come visit me in my country in December.
>painting the perfect picture
>says everything I want to hear basically
>tells me his deepest darkest secret the next day. Says the only people who know are him, his parents and the victims and now me
>WTF. He's being honest right??
>what if he's just a fuck up but actually does love me and care about me??
>he's been apologizing for all the stuff he's put me through with other girls.
pt. 4 last part coming up
>>17362392
>says it won't happen again
>says he only says he was in love with the other girl cause he "wanted to feel like he was in love, but it wasn't genuine."
>says he's blocked her on everything. Never wants to talk to her again.
>says things like "please don't think I'm not serious about us. I'm fucking serious"
>he's been super clingy since he came home from his home state.
>says only reason he hasn't asked me to be his gf yet is because he's so scared of the distance.
>fast forward to now, two days after he told me he "thinks" he's in love with me
>am I being taken for a fucking ride?
>am I a fucking idiot to believe him?
We have been talking for 2 years and a bit.
Please help me. I'm so lost and fragile. I want him so much. I think he might be my perfect match. But at the same time I don't deserve this right? My perfect match would've shown commitment and honesty right?? I feel like I know him extremely well, part of me is telling me he might really have these feelings for me and that he's just lost and confused and did genuinely want to be in a serious relationship for once that he simulated being in love to himself..
BUT I DONT KNOW. What do you think?
Thanks, K.
>inb4 "he's in it for the nudes" I have NEVER sent X nudes. It's not something I do. I'm very private with my body. We have sexted like three times tho. So I highly doubt he's stringing me along just for sexual stuff??
how should I name my email address for general purposes? something like me@[myname].com? info@[myname].com?contact@[myname].com? [myname]@[myname].com?
>>17362370
[email protected]
Is pretty standard choice
>>17362380
i have registered a domain of my name already tho
I want to use a second mail for my personal stuff but I can't come up with a good name
friend does [email protected]
I prefer [email protected] myself
How often do you climax together with your partner? Does it depend on how long you've been together?
>asking 4chan virgins
>>17362349
The times my boyfriend and I climax during the same "session" has increased very greatly over the years.
We've been together a long time. The first time I ever came from him was like 2.5 years into our relationship. And he first made me cum from oral.
More recently, he's been making me squirt a lot. This is a relatively new discovery for us. So I've been cumming multiple times when we do it. But there are times when I don't. Usually if we're having too much sex and I get sore, I can't cum if we do it.
I think for me, it did need to take a lot of time and experimentation. I went into this relationship assuming I'd never cum because I no one had ever made me cum.
But we never cum at the same time ever. I almost feel like that is a myth. My orgasms are so unexpected. I mean, there's the build, the peak, then the orgasm, but I generally don't know how fast or slow it's going to happen. One position makes me cum instantly, some times it could take over 30 mins for me to cum. My boyfriend lasts anywhere from 20-40 mins give or take.
>>17362421
women are just unpredictable in everything they do
And I'm fucking lost. I know a little bit of "everything" and I can't fucking specialize. Throughout my life I've tried maybe 10 different sports and gotten to varying degrees of competencies in each. Ooh I swam for 5 years, let me try boxing. Oh boxing was fun but I wanna do BJJ. BJJ is cool but I'll play rugby now. I'll have different interests in fitness, art, learning languages (I'm semi-fluent in German and conversational in Spanish). In college i took classes in engineering, business, liberal arts, regular arts, cause I never knew what I wanted to "specialize" in. Professionally in the same way, I can be a little business savvy, a little creative, a little analytical, but I'm not "good" in any real domain.
I'm a jack of all trades, master of none, and i can't decide on anything to be really "good at"
There are people I've encountered who have had 1 interest since they were a kid, and now they're all in and never strayed from the path. One friend has a musical theater career he's been working towards from like age 7. Another was D1 athlete in a sport he's played his whole life and is now trying to go pro. One friend is at an elite law school cause he's been interested in politics and debate since he was like 12.
Are people like me useless? Will i ever be able to shine?
OP, to me it sound like you're having a incredible life. You've tried all these different things most people don't get the chance and energy to. I envy you
>Are people like me useless? Will i ever be able to shine?
You're the opposite of useless, and I think other anons stuck on their basement or the same shitty job will have a similar opinion.
Now, if it's something YOU want to change, by all means, do it. Just pick one thing and stick with it. You'll get better at it, but it will probably become boring!
Never shine. But people that can see from multiple angles are good. You sound well rounded and it's not a bad thing.
>>17362339
I got as far as reading "I'm a perpetual jack of[f]"
I've found "the one" we talk to eachother everyday spend as much time together as possible and we both openly admit how co dependent we are. We've already discussed marriage at length and I already know I'm going to purpose, however. When is the right time? We've both talked about it and we seem to be in agreement that we should get married later. When were living a stable life on our own. And when we've dated longer to make sure its the right choice. Both mine and her parents divorced and we both agree we don't want to end the same way. I want to spend the rest of my life with this
Cont: woman but I just don't know what the right time is I was thinking possibly two or three years from now. Could someone share their proposal experiences? Whatd you do? Whered you do it ect.
You didn't find "the one" you're just horny and impulsive. You'll get over each other in about 6 months.
>>17362321
Hey OP. I've met "the one", the perfect person I've been waiting for. A soulmate, a lover and a best friend I've ever had.
Bitch cheated on me shortly before the wedding.
Don't get too high, it's never too long to check the person. I've been with her like 3 years and luckily dodged a bullet just before fucking up my life because I was the one who found out about it just by accident.
My life is just school, study and gym senpai.
Sometimes I'll see my friends and we'll go catch a movie but that'd be maybe once a month or something.
I tried getting a part time job but I can't even get one hombre's. No one wants to employ an incompetent overqualified 25 year old for 20 hours a week.
I guess I could ask for one of my old jobs back. I've walked out of every single one because I hated everyone so much. I guess they wouldn't like that very much if I did.
idk what to do. Any ideas?
>inb4 kys
>>17362319
>I've walked out of every single one because I hated everyone so much
Stop being a bitter asshole.
>>17362319
>hated everyone so much
Elaborate senpai. If you discover the reason for this and get over it it might just turn your life around.
>>17362452
>If you discover the reason for this and get over it it might just turn your life around.
I wonder about this a lot. It'll usually happen when I feel like I don't fit in there anymore.
I left my old job because everyone wouldn't stop making fun of me. I get told I treat people like we're together. I guess this means to be more independent but I can't pull that kind of confidence out of my ass.
How do I get better at sucking cock?
Practice, also stop posting frogs
>>17362312
I love frogs
>>17362309
sex instructional videos
I've had nightmares literally every single night for about a month now. I haven't been getting much sleep, and I think it's starting to wear down on my body and state of mind.
- About 60% of these nightmares involve me dying violently, usually being murdered by someone, but sometimes it's a car crash or an earthquake. The other 40% tend to involve sexual/romantic relationships that start off good but end horribly. My girlfriend doesn't appear in these nightmares.
- Only a few of the nightmares have involved paranormal or evil stuff, so pic not TOTALLY related.
- There are a few recurring nightmares that I've had ever since I was like 5, but I haven't had them in this weird period of constant nightmares yet. Normally, though, I'd have one of those recurring nightmares maybe 1 or 2 times a month.
As a little backstory:
• I lost my job almost 2 months ago.
• I'm living at home.
• I still pay rent and utilities, I'm not a complete scumbag (I have about $10k still saved, so I can live off of that for a while).
• My girlfriend and I don't see each other often enough, though I am very happy to be with her.
• I'm not totally sure, but I think I might be in the early stages of some depression. I don't know, I can't self-diagnose
Please let me know if you have any ideas. Obviously my life isn't where it should be, but I can't think of anything that's changed significantly in the last month that would make this happen. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to sleep.
>>17362290
Do you take any medication? Even antihistaminics. Some stuff is known to give nightmares.
You're under stress so it could be that. Anxiety overday that you don't let out translates to dreams involving fear.
Also I believe in pagan stuff so I'd link this with a psychic attack and would look at cleansing out at least my own room and putting up a ward but that depends on what you believe in.
>>17362303
>Do you take any medication?
Absolutely nothing. Last thing I put in my body other than food or drink was a couple aspirin a few weeks ago for a headache.
>You're under stress so it could be that.
I mean, I certainly have enough stress for 10 people, but these nightmares seemed so spontaneous. I've been feeling like shit ever since I lost my job, but the nightmares came on so suddenly, and they haven't stopped even once. There was no gradual onset, it just started happening every single night on a seemingly random day. I'm trying to think back and remember if anything shitty happened about a month ago, but I can't seem to come up with anything. Could this really have come on over stress I've had for months, you think?
>pagan...psychic attack
Nah, I don't believe in that stuff. I'm a Christian, so I guess I can't count out Satan being a dick to me or something, but that kind of stuff comes at the very bottom of my list of probability.
desperate bump.
What are the pros and cons of getting married?
I lived my life swearing I would never get married, after seeing my parents collectively fail through 6 miserable marriages.
But the one I love lives outside the US, and I want/need for us to live together as soon as possible, so I guess getting married would massively expedite the process.
Beyond immigration, what are the aspects of marriage that need to be taken into consideration? Mostly from an economic/legal kind of standpoint, I guess.
We are certain to not have kids ever so that's not a factor.
Well you can either get married so they can live with you in the US sooner, or you can not get married and wait longer. I wouldn't recommend marrying someone without having lived together for a significant period of time however
>>17362267
I know it sounds weird, but for the sake of my mental health I honestly can't wait more than a few more years. It's been long enough as is. But I also already know we'd be fine living together, so that's not an issue really.
>>17362255
>>17362255
Get a prenup. Problems solved. Anything beyond that can be a problem you encounter with even a gf.
Also, get marriage counseling if you ever want a divorce. It helped my ex wife and I understand each other well enough to end the relationship amicably. No alimony, no arguing over who gets what, etc.
i've been having anxiety and panic attacks almost everyday. what can i do about it? is medication recommended?
tfw no one cares
>>17362244
i feel your pain anon. My doctor subscribed me some pills but im pretty sure they're just placebos they dont seem to be having any effect. The only thing i can recommend that seems to work for me is taking little steps. it sounds silly but a few weeks ago i was too worried to walk to my local post office but by walking a little more each day i managed to get there and even further
Something might be wrong in your life.Are you happy with yourself? Do you have friends you can go out with? What are your hobbies? Do you work or study?
So a former friend of mine loses her shit because I prove her that my girl is real. Instead of accepting her defeat, she rant over her main account (forgot to block me). I'm laughing my ass that my girl is a poser without any proof or evidence. She's gone full feminazi on her rant desu.
I guess I won, can't accept the defeat
And ps, she's gone full sjw. What to do ?
Here's the first
>>17362237
>>17362240
What's her problem?
>>17362246
butthurt about being friendzoned
