Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 34. page
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Legit question - where do I find women? I think I tried about everything and all to no avail.
I heard they're outside sometimes
Just kidding, I'm also having this problem and at this point I'm so mentally fucked I can't initiate anything with strangers
>>17362833>>17362835
Dating sites? School, work, hobbies like sports, the gym, in the city....
Well they're everywhere?
>>17362840
Dating sites are too overwhelming for me. I mean, a lot of sites have bots for girls to start with, and the legit girls are being messaged by about 100 other guys and it just seems way too plastic to me.
I do plan to go to the gym when I have some more income, but right now that's not really a possibility. I work mostly with girls and I think it'd be a bad idea to try and establish something there 2bh. I have extreme social anxiety from lots of years of bad experiences, but I think I'm ok looking and I have a pretty good heart and decent personality when I can get comfortable around people. The problem is I get frustrated with myself and sometimes try to quicken the process with alcohol, so I used to be known as a bit of a drunk.
Where might a man find community of people who
>live together or very near
>Grow their own drugs
>Make grand bonfires in the woods, get naked and consume mushrooms
>Grow their own food and have some animals like cattle
And most importantly
>Would welcome major fuckups among their ranks
Where is that place in Europe anons, there must be some places like this dont tell me NOBODY lives like this anymore.
Some...
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>>17362821
You will find these communities in some bad 1960s fiction and noplace else.
>>17362821
Looking for a normal small community that you can just join with is unlikely enough. There's no way you'll find one that not only accepts drugs but also grows them. As far as running away and starting new, it's not 100% but you could visit rural farms (pretty much anywhere) and offer your services as a farmhand in exchange for food and a place to lay your head.
Small communities don't rely on drugs because they are not a bunch of depressed wimpy city boys to begin with.
Time for ultimate question /adv/? How to live?
Should you be asshole and care only about yourself while using others or is there a reason to be a "nice guy" or a "good guy" or even a "white knight" and stick to the rules while treating others the way you wish to be treated like.
So how is it /adv/?
An asshole wins duels. A nice guy wins wars.
>>17362807
If you exclusively pour out into others, always give, never take, then you'll find yourself very empty. Living selfish is shitty for everyone involved, too. Be a decent person, give some, take sparingly. Find a small/mid sized group of good friends and be very giving with them, build relationships with good people.
>>17362807
I think the best way us to hide your bad feelings. Tbh i absolutely hate everyone I know but I appreciate how useful it can be to have friends so i try and act nice when i can
Since I'm shy and not good at socializing,being funny etc I try to compensate by being nice and helping ppl but now it's gotten to the point where everyone just talks to me asking for favours, knowing I'm too dumb to say no. People who never talk to me will come asking me to do stuff for them and they're only "nice" to me when they need something. They even get my phone number from someone else and text me asking for favours. Idk how to say no without sounding rude or having them say im a bitch for not helping, but I'm sick of being used and...
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The cool thing is that you have no obligation to these people and most of them you'll never see again. Just cut off anyone that's using you, block them and never think about them again. It's rude, but at the same time they're not really your friends so why bother? For getting new friends you need to at least a little outgoing, join a club, sport, or group-based activity and just talk with those there. Build relationships where you can.
>>17362793
Practice saying this word in front of a mirror until you get it right:
No.
You're stronger than you think man. Yeah, cut all ties with people who use you. You need to just socialize more, maybe that can be people from your upcoming semester, workplace, wherever. Visit old friends maybe?
Also, just be honest with yourself. Do you really want to do favors for some cuck who doesn't care about you? Nothing wrong with saying no, you shouldnt care what they think.
Why do people keep telling me that "oh its ok other people have had depression or anxiety its k mate"
I dont want to be like those "other people", alright?
Not to sound too fucking rude, but I want to do something in my life, I'm not planning on dwelling throughout the ages
Fuck, this is why I don't feel normal, yes, sure, a specific amount of people might be having these moments too BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN ITS NORMAL
>>17362771
>Why do people keep telling me that "oh its ok other people have had depression or anxiety its k mate"
Probably because they want you to feel better? What is your question, exactly?
I think what OP means is that they want a solution that they can apply to the problem rather than being placated with statements they have probably heard over and over.
Living with mental illness can be extremely inhibiting to someone, especially depression.
Telling someone they aren't alone doesn't always resolve the issue, especially when it comes from someone who doesnt personally experience mental illness.
>>17362771
Yes, it is normal. Everybody (almost) have it to some degree. And it does not have to cripple you.
You develop strategies to cope with it and get to know yourself and what triggers you. I have dealt with panic attacks and some degree of generalized anxiety for many years (have also previously had depression). When I panic and feel my nervous system go bottom-up, I recognize instantly what is happening and what is triggering me. I know that it will pass and I know what to do to bring myself down. That helps...
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Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone else had a similar experience to me. I'm 27 and I've felt gay my whole life but I have always wondered if something happened to make me gay or if I was born gay.
When I was younger like 3-5 years old, I used to experiment with kids in my daycare in the bathroom (it was a christian daycare lol). There was like a group of 3 or 4 of us boys I can't remember. I remember that one of the kids showed us how to play with ourselves and then we all kind of went along with it.
Fast forward to me being like 5 or 7 and I'm...
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kids experiment u fucking faggot
just dont do it so manyu times, ok thats weird
>>17362773
ok :(
>>17362766
The scientific data is still unsure whether there is a gay gene or it has something to do with early experience. But one thing is clear - if a homosexual person is "damaged" psychologically it is always because of shame, fear or mistreatment for being gay. That is, they are NOT gay because they are damaged, they may be damaged by social forces after being gay.
What are the risks of telling my therapist I'm suicidal? I mean on one hand I want to stop seeing him. He says I'm not ready but I guess I can still just stop going. He doesn't know I'm still suicidal (ever since over 1 year ago we never talked about this again). But on the other hand, this is exactly what I'm paying him for, right?
Maybe he's just not that good as a therapist. And I'm afraid that if I tell him I'm gonna be stuck with him for longer or that he's gonna take some sort of action, I've no idea what therapists...
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Suicidal thoughts come in varying degrees. Honestly it depends how vivid and how likely you are to act on them that determines how they react. Being suicidal isn't necessarily a ward sentence
If you feel like you need to hide something from your therapist, you should seek a new therapist.
And suicidal thoughts / ideation are to some degree always serious, regardless of how "actually" suicidal you feel. Take yourself / your psychological health seriously.
>>17362739
Suppose you broke your arm and went to a doctor, and for some reason he treated everything but your arm. Wouldn't you eventually say "Hey! I've got this broken arm, remember?"
So I've been dating this girl for a while and things have been going great, no problems or anything like that.
Today I think is when she trusted me with this but it was hard for her to tell. We were watching a movie and she just straight up started crying, I thought I did something but then she told me that she was assaulted two years ago.
It was by this guy whom she taught was a friend and driving her home after which he forced her to perform oral sex.
It was devastating to hear but I still don't know what to do. I told her it wasn't her...
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Nah that's fucking movie shit and might get you in trouble.
Just leave all decisions to her, and if she wanted something done she would have probably done it by now. This isn't the 19th century, you don't have to defend her honor of whatever. Ask her if she wants to file a complaint and then move on.
>>17362707
not your fight OP
