Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 43. page
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Is it okay for a guy to wait for a girl to ask them out, or should the guy take the initiative?
It doesnt matter who asks first. If you want to ask someone out just do it and dont make a drama
Don't hesitate.
"Faint heart never won fair maiden." (Shakespeare, I think)
>>17360676
depends on what kind of guy you are and what kind of girl she is and how well you know each other
I'd ask a guy out if we were already really good friends and having a blast spending time together
but otherwise I leave the burden of proof on the guy, because he might just be lying to use me so it's up to him to show me his character.
You walk into your home/Partners home and you catch her/Him cheating on you.
It does not become a 3 some.
Honest answers. What would you do?
Scream? Become Violent? Leave? Kill?
Imagine.
>>17360658
There is literally millions of fucking movies/books on this bullahit. Imagine these nuts.
I caught my ex-wife of 5 years cheating on me with my former best friend last year.
I walked in hearing noises, I heard her moaning a bit, but it didn't totally register in my mind that something was off. I never really came home to hearing her like that. When I walked down the hallway and looked into my room, I saw them. I stood there in absolute disbelief for a few moments, hardly able to fathom what I was looking at, and then they noticed me.
They both jumped up immediately and started stuttering random excuses and lies to me while she struggled to get dressed and he covered himself with the blanket I bought her for Christmas. I probably stood in that doorway for 10 seconds from start to finish and just walked out. My ex-wife started following me and said the typical "Babe where are you going?" "Please wait". I ignored her and left the house. Went for a very, very long drive.
Sweet thing is that it kinda ruined both of their lives. My former best friend's marriage broke up soon after and I didn't even have to tell anyone. It all happened on its own.
>>17360717
That's rough man, but hell at least they got what was coming to them.
Help! I have recently put my mind (and mouth) to giving my husband regular oral sex. I was never a big fan of giving head because 1) early experiences were very humiliating 2)i only wanted to blow a guy if i was really in love with him so I didn't have much experience 3) feeling like i sucked (har har) at it and couldn't make them cum.
Sooooo I did a bunch of internet research and amped myself up on the idea of being his dirty little cum-swallowing whore. I got myself to the point where the idea of doing it makes me really wet and the last couple days I couldn't wait for him to get home so I could practice and make perfect this new skill set.
The first day was a major success and I felt like the queen of the world. He complimented me on my skills and was in obvious heaven, almost drunk with satisfaction, this goofy grin on his face and looking lighter than air. Damn, did that make me feel good!
Last night was a different story. I couldn't get him to finish. I kept getting close and not being able to manage. I got exhausted, I accidentally grazed him with my teeth at one point, my inner lips got raw on the top from so much effort and I felt like such a pathetic, unsexy, failure even though I tried to play it off and we fucked and he finished on my face and was still very happy. The whole time I kept a good attitude, being his plaything, telling him I wanted to learn how to please him better, asking him what I could do next time. But inside I felt horrible and like I let the team down.
Please help me to reach my full potential and go from zero to hero. I need a dick-licking Mr Miyagi to learn me in the ways of waxing on and off. How can I be better? What am I doing wrong? What are your best blowjob pointers?
Practice makes perfect, just pay attention. Eye contact and playing with balls helps.
You should only give oral if he reciprocates it though.
>>17360438
The only men who are going to be able to help you are sodomites. And other women fool themselves with their own perceived prowess.
From my experience, women tend to lick and play around too much because that's what they like done to them. And it fuckin hurts when you suck balls.
You'll just have to get him to tell you what he likes. Sex is 90% in the head and 10% in the dick. The first time was so good because it was a surprise. Now, not so much.
Do it in unlikely, dangerous locations. Do it when he least expects it. Dress up like a slut. Talk slutty.
Hope that helps… but it probably doesn't.
i think it's awesome you waited to suck cock till you could get excited ybout it. ecause being eager, enthusiastic and willing are the most important ingredients to a really good bj.
other than that, it is NOt easy to get some dudes off. he might have gotten nervous or your first time was just such a big success because he was overwhelmed by finally getting some. maybe you need to work on timing and pacing more. it's not easy to get someone off when YOU dictate how fast and hard you go. you need to be able to read him like a book and play with his arousal curve. this is what will come with practice. watch out for signs that indicate that he likes what you're doing, that he's nearing that point of no return, or vice versa, that he's starting to go limp or getting bored.
you can ask him what he likes and what to do next, but do not expect him to have a scrpit laid out about his perfect bj. he might not even know what gets him off and what doesn'.t besides, a bj is all about sitting back and enjoying the ride on his end. not telling you every step you should take.
try to bring the point across that you are enjoying this very much. also, tease him at first. get him really horny and hard before you start. you probably know how to et him really aroused. do taht. make out with him, dry hump, flirt, tease,, and so on. rub his hard cock trough his pants first, then trough his panties. then undress him. let your lips gently graze his shaft. make him twitch for you. then do some slow, warm, wet licks all over his cock. make him move his hips. he should practically be begging you to take him into your mouth. then use a LOT of drool. you can produce more by scraping your tongue agains your teeth or thinking about biting into a lemon. but that's the watery kind. what you need is to get some "throat snot". that's the good stuff. it will lubricate him perfectly for a long time. you get that by taking him down your throat as deep as you can. but i'm going too fast. cont.
So last night I had this really vivid dream.
For some reason, I was back in highschool with my best friend. Our class went on a field trip to a sex shop. And I bought some toys, and woke up.
I am married, and currently 9 weeks pregnant with our second. Which could be why I've been having such random dreams.
Our sex life is alright. My husband doesn't like to do the positions that get me off because he "can't feel anything" which is bs because he cums every time I've done it.
So every time we have sex, I basically don't get to get off.
Do you think my dream is a sign that I need something else? Should I actually go out and buy toys?
I've asked my boyfriend to bring toys to the bedroom in the past and he didn't seem very comfortable with it.
I don't want to make him uncomfortable. But then again I'd like to be able to get off too.
>>17360254
you need to have a talk with your man about putting a little more effort into it. Really selfish to only think of his nut. I'd go buy the toy and not tell him
>>17360254
Speaking for myself, I'm supposed to be the sex toy. I don't want to be competing with some dildo. I also don't feel like I've done my job if my wife doesn't get off. Too bad you are married to such a jerk.
>My husband doesn't like to do the positions that get me off
such as?
Sorry for the bad english, this isn't my main language.
So, I've been living with my GF soon-to-be-wife for a month now.
Everything is perfect, we don't argue, we don't have problems between us, we have a really happy and stable relationship.
Even in sex, we are really happy on it. We are a kinky couple and fuck almost everyday.
BUT, it's been a while, my sex drive is very low, it's almost killing me, because most of time I just fuck her to make her happy, and it's annoying me.
When she wasn't living here, I used to see x-rated content, porn, hentai fetish and etc (no need for masturbation), and those things got my libido at a high level, but now with she living with me I can't see those things and this is killing the pleasure for me.
I don't have creativity, inspiration and the urge to make sex.
She isn't the problem, I can really be turned on by her at the moment.
I don't know if I should tell her about this problem, I wouldn't blame her if she be mad at me if I say something like that. But I really love her and want to do everything to make her happy.
Any /adv/ices
>>17360239
your sex drive will fluctuate and a month is nothing to worry about. longer you might check if there is something physically wrong. Otherwise suck it up and fuck her. Women fuck their husbands all the time even when they are not in the mood because they love them and want to make them happy.
why can't you look at porn just because you now live with her? i'm going to move in with my bf soon and i sure as hell will continue to watch porn.
>>17360692
Not him but I can't watch porn around my girlfriend because she takes it personally like "What am I not good enough?"
My bf doesnt eat pussy, never has. This lesbian girl from my class has been teasing me on snapchat for weeks about how she wants to do it and im thinking about accepting.
Would I be too much of an asshole for this?
It's still cheating, even if it's a girl...
Does your bf know you WANT him to lick your pussy? Maybe you have turned him down a few times at the beginning or it seemed like you were uncomfortable or not enjoying it. Talk to him instead of just looking elsewhere.
>>17360023
Only if you don't inform your bf,and don't take the right action to sever romantic ties beforehand. Nothing wrong with getting the old lickaroo. He might even be ok with it if you tell him
>>17360032
He knows. Some context: We have been together since we both were 15, hes my first and me too, I'm 19 now so its a long time. He has never, ever done it. He says he doesnt like the taste.
I started going to college this year and made friends with this girl and one day we were talking about our sex lives and I tell her this and she starts saying shes a lesbian and the thing she loves the most is to go down on women and so on. Ever since then she flirts with me kind of aggressively and is always sending me pics and messages on snapchat.
Whats the best way to anonymously deport an illegal immigrant. There's this family of south americans living next door and all they do is play loud music and race around in beat box civics. I want to do it anonymously so they cant find out it was me and send the cartel to kill me.
How do you know illegal? It you report it falsely because it's a person you don't like then you could face criminal charges.
>>17359876
I know for a fact that they are illegal. My neighbor has tried to speak with them before and nothing came of it other than they now are even more rude to us.
>>17359848
Here's the thing, OP. They're immigrants, which mean they don't have much money. They live next door to you, which means you live in approximately the same conditions. Which means you live in a poor neighborhood. Which means you're just as big of a garbage heap as they are.
Poor people need to stick together. Go be friends with them.
I need some /adv/ on snapchat ettiquette
When a girl adds you after a date should you send her something? Are selfies contrived?
>coffee with a qt today
>she's v keen
>gives me her snapchat
>add her, she accepts, I leave it
>couple hours after accepting she texts that she's accepted
>odd, figure she just wants a snap, send her casual selfie of me smiling/chilling, with 'hey'
>no response
Is this a bad sign? Was the hey a bad move?
bump
>>17359836
>using snapchat
>being this basic
Just delete the app.
You should only contact women if you're setting up a date. That's it. Sending snaps saying "hey" will only do more harm than good
As far as the no response thing, who knows? Maybe she just didn't know what to say. Maybe she was really busy. It's not a big deal
Just set up another date through text/call in a few days. Nobody cares about snaps
>>17360134
nigga how old are you? This chick's 20, snaps are an essential part of communicating
What incentive is there for marriage over just living with your bf/gf forever?
I keep seeing these people on my facebook constantly posting shit about marriage being the best thing that can ever happen to them.
I just don't get it?
All I can find is the benefit of medical decisions and social security payments.
And then some minor things such as lower car insurance and easier to get mortgage.
It feels like the negatives just outweigh the benefits, especially in the event of divorce.
As you said, certain legal provisions and tax related matters.
If I were me, I would argue to get rid of marriage entirely. Simple registration system little different than a change of address.
>>17359736
>All I can find is the benefit of medical decisions and social security payments.
bingo
It permits you to have sex without offending Allah.
I am a male and I just don't have much in common with typical dudes. I hate sports, I hate talking about sex or who is fucking who, I hate "dude talk". Like "oh yeah Anna? I totally plowed her field bro".
I feel alienated. I also don't get those super crazy sex urges. Like a lot of my friends said if some 10/10 offered to fuck then, they would not hesitate. I would hesitate and not fuck her.
What the fuck is going on? What's wrong with me?
You're a beta
>>17359656
you are around douches
I'm male that doesn't get along with anyone, so I can kind of relate. I know I'm not building any kind of social relationships or network I'll make use of, I know it doesn't get me anything in the moment, and I know it won't get me anything later.
And, the conversation isn't enjoyable in the moment. A lot of this aspect is my fault. I'm either in pain or anxious about being crippled by the aforementioned pain, which has wired me over time to deal with things in discrete "chunks". When I communicate there's no flow. It begins and it ends, because I rigidly keep to what I have in mind.
With women I'm either detached or apathetic. I just don't attempt connection. People are probably readily aware I'm in a sense talking -at- them, rather than with.
Anyway. No one can give you answers here. You'll have to plot out the dynamic for yourself. Maybe what I said gives some means to begin considering what constitutes a given interaction.
So I am a girl from France. I got a temporary job at a company for 10 days. It is a transnational company and some people from the states flew here for work.
This coworker is Latino. I am currently learning Spanish and I mentioned how I am looking for language exchange partners during small talk. He volunteered to talk to me on FB. Should I accept his request?
Do you want his dick?
If yes, accept.
if no, decline.
>>17359649
He is hot but I am not the type of girl into one night stands and hookups
>>17359650
I would decline, it doesn't seem worth the drama. Spanish is one of the easier languages to learn, especially castilian. Unless you're trying to learn the clusterfuck of spanish that comes from mesoamerica.
Girlfriend (25) and I (26) have been dating for 1.5 years, just about to move in together. We don't fight - if there's an issue, one of us will bring it up and we discuss it calmly.
However there's a few things that I still hold some hard feelings for, and I can't shake them.
The first issue happened in our first 6 months. She was at a party with some of her close friends and one of her best girlfriends was trying to get her boyfriend to do something a bit kinky that night. So, to get him in the mood, my girlfriend told me she started saying sexual things to him and rubbing his leg (her friend was aware and okay with this). When she told me, I said I was not cool with this and she apologised and said it wouldn't happen again. Since then, there's been some hostility from the best friends boyfriend towards me.
About 3 weeks ago, my gf told me that they once told her that she's the only person they'd consider having a threesome with, and she's seen them fuck on camera (before we started dating). She also admitted that she thinks the boyfriend is hot and would love to fuck him (but won't because we're together).
I appreciate the honesty, but holy hell this is killing me... I can't explain why, but it's putting me off from furthering our relationship.
Am I overreacting?
>>17359155
I mean she really shouldn't have told you that. Any self-respecting guy isn't going to take that shit. You are probably overreacting a little bit, but she doesn't come out looking very good in this. If you have any doubts then you shouldn't move in with her just yet.
>>17359158
I had to read his post twice to make sure I read yours correctly. How is he over reacting in any way?
>gf says a bunch of borderline cheating shit to some guy
there is zero reason for your gf to have said anything sexual to this guy, she did it because of our next bullet point
>gf admits hes hot and would fuck him
too much information for me, saying this only serves to hurt you and pad her ego
>gf tells you they want to have a threesome with here
now she's basically fishing for you to say it'd be ok or on the other hand, just to let you know she has options
then the asshole faggot has the nerve to be hostile? he's trying to force a rift in your relationship. i'd be fucking pissed. id split this jokes face open with a solid hook before he knew what was happening to him if he said something to rile me.
this is the part where you tell your gf to ditch these people if she values you over them. it's time to start being adults. put your footdown and let your girl know you wont stand for this or she will walk all over you. this kind of behavior is absolutely not acceptable
>> Since then, there's been some hostility from the best friends boyfriend towards me.
Well he can fuck right off. It's none of his business.
Hard to know what to do here OP, I would not be happy either. Seems like she is fishing for your permission for a 3-some. I'd second what the other poster said in that if it ever comes up again, firmly put your foot down.
If she can't respect that? Then...
Hey /adv/, I've got somewhat of a conundrum for you. I'm 25, and by almost all measures and metrics, I'm successful. Pic is me.
I've got an MS in Electrical Engineering from a highly rated university in the northeast and work as an Electronics Engineer in a research lab. I'm a homeowner. I'm married to a great girl (who is both amazing and infuriating, often at the same often) and have 2 amazing puppies.
My entire life has sort of been a pursuit of the next stage. I worked hard in Middle School to get into honors classes in HS. I worked hard in HS and took college classes in HS to get into a great college. I worked hard in my undergrad to be able to get into a graduate program. And I worked hard in the graduate program to be able to get a job in the research world and make a difference in the state of technology.
I saved and scrimped to be able to be a homeowner at a young age. I was overly social in college (which is hard for me as a natural introvert) to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with, and I did.
I guess, I'm just not sure of what comes next. My entire life has been the pursuit of reaching my goals to be happily married, a homeowner, and have a great job that makes a difference in the world. I've reached the top of the mountain, so to speak, and the lack of a direction of where to go from here has got me feeling somewhat disoriented and empty.
Sure, there's professional advancement, which is all fine well and good, but that's far from something I'd consider an overarching goal that can permeate my life and would provide me with the motivation I need.
Maybe it's just a grass-seeming-greener thing, but I feel like the lack of some kind of overarching goal is sapping my motivation and my drive, which is leaving me feeling lazy and I dislike seeing myself as lazy.
What should I do /adv/? Where do I go from here? Do I find a new goal? Do I try to figure out how to live a life without that next-stage mentality? If so, how?
get your phd
find a new goal.
maybe you should start thinking about spawning brood that you can shape and mold into fine achievers like yourself
I've been dealing with social anxiety all my life, and with my first year of college under my belt with literally no new social groups or crazy fun memories to show for it I feel unsatisfied. I have a desire to be more social but it's very very hard for me to because of how terrified new people make me (I can't even bring myself to approach them and say hi).
I already wasted half of my own summer break sitting around the house doing fuck all. I've been trying to work on myself during this time (and I think I've made a good deal of progress the past few days), but I feel rushed, I feel like I have to solve this problem right away in fear of missing out on "college life".
This is supposed to be the time when I start living is it not? Where I'm putting myself out there, meeting lots of new interesting people, doing cool fun shit? I know if I miss out on all this because I couldn't figure out how to work past my anxiety in time I'd hate myself. I'd have a big fat nothing during a time where I'm supposed to have some of the wildest memories of my life.
This really has me scared guys.
BUUUUMMMMPP
>>17358981
>get a gym membership
>workout
>fix your diet
>focus on this until you feel good
>do it only for yourself
Once you learn to enjoy yourself. Making yourself the shit. Not giving a fuck about anything but becoming the fucking best. Pursue that shit. Then not only will your anxiety will go away, youll feel great and get what you want.
>>17361332
>he fell for the /fit/ meme
Is calling black people "niggers" really still just 4chan's go-to form of edginess or is your use of it based in some kind of ideological reality? Would you leave your house and say the word nigger in a social context and accept the consequences for your beliefs or is it still something you and your white friends say during LAN parties when you know no one else can hear you?
Are you ACTUALLY racist or do you just like having fun participating in the shitpost echo chamber?
Honest question.
>>17358430
Me and a bunch of my friends like to use racial slurs around each other as a joke, and usually people just react with shock.
>>17358436
So I'm guessing you're like 15?
I come here to let off the anger I build living a life I'm not adapted to. I've said nigger out loud once in anger and immediately felt bad from letting fsuch a strong emotional response take over me. So instead now I say it on the internet so I can let it go, fucking nigger
