Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 347. page
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What makes something easy to respond to?
if I am talking to someone what are rules that would make what I say easy to respond to?
Questions are straight forward so they are easy to respond to, but what about answers or reactions? how do I make them easy to respond to?
>>17287419
Vague and odd question right there.
What kind of response are you looking to get? Shitting on a sidewalk in public is bound to get easy, disgusted responses.
>>17287430
i mean when you talk to people or even a date
how do i make it easier for them to respond? make it so that they easily have something to say, and not have the small silence or feel awkward?
Don't close the conversation. Many people make the mistake of short answers (nothing) or give dead end answers (me too).
Don't let your response be a dead end unless you plan to change subjects
I am 22 years old and I am completely trapped with my parents with no choice in the matter and no clear options. I have nothing and no experience in this world because they have neglected me my entire life except for feeding me and keeping me clothed, they have completely ignored and put off anything that would give me the means to live a life for myself. When brought up they simply get angry and repeat the same old lines like "you have it easy!", "you live free, you don't have to pay for X, X or X!" as if that justifies their failures as parents. I was forcibly pulled from school at 13 years old because of their constant fighting and splitting up, so I don't have a complete education, I don't know how to do anything because I never had anyone to teach me, I don't know how to drive or have a license for that matter, I don't even have so much as a state ID, as far as I'm concerned I don't even have records of my existence past the age all this started.
For over 9 years I have lived in what is essentially a cushy prison and I don't know what I can do to get out of it, I have no means to do anything for myself and I don't know who I could go to or call for help, the rest of my family members are just as bad and uncaring as my parents and I don't have real friends anymore, and to top it all off nothing is within walking distance.
>>17287398
that seems odd - you are an adult legally, and maybe start asking your parents you need your birth certificate to get an id
if u have cash hit up uber to take you places
Got a GED? Driving school an option? Online maybe? No public transport (bus)? State job agency? If all else fails, pursue the neetbucks and never look back.
>>17287398
Look up cluster B personality disorders, especially NPD. It'll help you realize what is and isn't normal about your life. Trust me, you don't even KNOW.
First of all, get your documents. Birth certificate and social security card are a must. They are yours by law. Call the police if they won't give them to you. The local number, not 911. Look up how to order new ones online. Do all of that research before you ask, because once you show signs of fleeing they'll stop you any way they can. They want control and they'll do almost anything to keep it. Shit's going to be rough for a while.
Next, run the fuck away to a shelter. Google for any in your area that will take you. Again, do the the research before they know anything about it. You only get one chance like this. Also, if they monitor your computer, delete your browser history and NEVER leave anything open.
Once you're home free, apply to jobs through a temp agency and by looking online. All the information you need is on the internet -- just look and it will be there. Take anything you can get. You are above no job. Life will suck for years, but once you taste freedom for the first time it will all be worth it.
One thing you need to learn is that your parents messed up providing for you, but you have to be the one to fix it. Take responsibility for yourself. Most importantly, GET OUT and STAY SAFE.
how to not get distracted by a mans boner if theyre having a conversation with you? I seriously try not to look down but its just reflex.
Tell 'em to pack it up.
inuyasha 4ever
>>17287216
i hope they fap the next morning but they dont
I recently trellised that i am stupid. I am avarage level at work,
i can not win attention to the others , when i do it is for short time. When i person knows me better he or she starts avoiding me.
I got e few friends but life becomes boring and i want to win some more, but it appears that majority of the people are n't interested in me.
Guys please help! I could really use an advise right now!!!!!!!
>>17287195
Grammar aside (not criticizing that), this post boils down to
>People don't find me appealing, therefore I must be stupid
...do I have that right?
If so, how are we supposed to help with that? Start reading some books.
>>17287210
dude my hobby is reading and still i am stupid and an uniteresting person.
When i keep my mouth shut everything is ok.
But when i start talking my thoughts people become bored
>>17287229
Lacking charm and/or charisma is not the same as lacking intelligence (and not a sin, either). It might be beneficial to work towards that goal; there are plenty of ways to do so. Just learn how to speak in public and sound/look appealing in general. Sounds good?
I haven't seen them, but I know a few are there.
My question is:
> How do I get rid of them without an exterminator?
> Do foggers work?
> Does 91% alcohol work?
> Does vacuuming work?
> What about the light sockets? Can I spray alcohol in there and not start a fire?
>>17287153
>How do I get rid of them without an exterminator?
Honestly, you can either pay a professional to do it, or you can waste a whole load of time ond money on popycock quick fixes from the hardware store and then pay a professional to come and fix it.
>What about the light sockets? Can I spray alcohol in there
No Anon, you can not spray a highly flammable liquid in to a confined space that that has live conductors in it. Well, you probably could, but only once.
> Covered bed and box spring in a bedbug proof encasement
> Set off two foggers
> Sprayed 1/2 a gallon of 91% rubbing alcohol
> Taped the outlets closest to my bed so as to be never used again
> Vacuumed every inch of my room
> Washed and dried sheets and clothes not hanging up
Surely this must be enough to stop an early infestation? I haven't even seen a single bug yet.
>>17287523
Get some glue traps.
I'm just spitballin here
I've been having dreams about cheating on my girlfriend for a month and a half. I'd like to get rid of them, but they're so frequent and vivid. It's not like wet dreams, it's just me being happy with other women.. Not that I'm not happy with my girlfriend. Sometimes I screw other women while my girlfriend watches. I just wish I new how to control these thoughts.
"Not that I'm not happy with my girlfriend"..." Sometimes I screw other women while my girlfriend watches."
>>17287139
>I've been having dreams about cheating on my girlfriend for a month and a half.
>Sometimes I screw other women while my girlfriend watches.
>>17287372
>>17287379
...I assumed OP was describing his/her dreams there, not something he/she really does.
This cute girl I have hung out a few times and have been really flirty with in the past came with some friends and I to a gig last night - we had a great time, and I was definitely picking up vibes.
She kinda threw a pretty strange red flag comment though... We're 22, she mentioned that she'd slept with a 38 year old dude who lived near the area we were in. Pretty funny joke, and I didn't really think too much of it - but I guess it's a little weird, in retrospect - we're going out dancing tonight too so I'm sure something's gonna happen, but yeah, what?
yeah women are whores, what's new?
>>17287137
maybe she is a little more forward in her words, and letting you know what she has done, to give you a hint?
maybe a red flag if you want a more reserved one, but maybe a green flag if you just want dtf?
>>17287192
I'm hella broken already and doubt I'll be falling for anyone any time soon, but I'd kinda rather not fall for someone that's done that kind of shit. At the same time, we've all done ridiculous stuff... so maybe it's not that bad? eh. >>17287146 lel
Dear anons,
How to deal with grief?
I can't just sit at home crying my eyes out all day. I have to like, go to work and clean my house and whatnot.
My gf of four years broke up with me yesterday. I also found out yesterday that the grandmother who raised me is on her deathbed, and I am in another country and unable to visit. Then my newly born-again father called, and told me if I can't accept Jesus as my personal savior, he is done talking to me and cutting me out of his life.
I've certainly had worse days, and lost people close to me before. But for some reason, it is really hitting me hard today. I can't stop crying.
I have to go to work, and mow my lawn, and do laundry. I can't just sit around crying.
How do I snap out of this, anons? At least enough to be functional for the next week, until it stops hurting so much?
>>17287125
You already have the answer, OP
Become a sad clown.
>>17287125
Grief goes away with time, the world won't stop for you, just keep swimming
Sounds like you know what you have to do, or want to do. So, ask yourself. What matters to you right now? What's important? Are you crying because you're sad? Or are you crying because you don't have the answers to handle the situation you find yourself in?
How do you keep yourself from crying during sex?
Lube would probably make it painless but I'm still worried I'm going to cry or resent my partner.
>>17287112
How about you actually get aroused before he sticks his dick in your pussy you idiot.
>Inb4 I can't get aroused
Fuck off.
>>17287112
Why do you think you're going to cry?
By having a partner who goes slowly and can understand simple phrases like "Ow, stop that's hurting me." And being willing to speak up and say so instead of crying and trying to hide it.
So.
I am going through a weird 'break up'. It was LDR and I'm never gonna try LDR ever again even if I am lonely as fuck.
I can't really say if it is break up or not since the guy admits that we never dated to other people.
He turned out to be lying about everything even though some parts in the relationship period he did some couply things with me such as fucking up his sleeping schedule to talk to me and more things and it is getting more confusing as I'm getting told he never had feeling for me from beginning and he just dragged it on and I'm unsure why. We could have ended it months earlier but he came back saying he started to feel something for me.
I'm curious why he did this and why he lied to me whole time, I want to ask but he has me blocked in everything as far as I am concerned, and I don't want to ask his 'best friend' to ask him for me.
As in lying he said things like 'love' and bitched about me whole time to other people. Pic is sorta related
>>17287101
LDR like only online? - that is only like half of a relationship, so don't put too much stock in it.
you cant control his feelings - if he blocked you, just go away. if he ends up messaging you in the future, know he is probably using you for when he is bored and dont get too attached
>>17287163
not like i want to control his fucked up feelings but i am just curious af why he used me in first place when he didnt had feels for me like wtf dude
>>17287168
some guys are assholes, and care only about themselves - its like there is always some broken pieces of cereal in the bag
Wanting to become a firefighter, opinions?
>>17287098
Go for it. It's a nice gig. Just very competitive to get into depending on where you are.
>>17287098
Enjoy your lung disease
Realize what you're doing it for. You should be giving your all and push your limits because your life or another's depends on it.
If you just want a comfy gig, keep looking
/adv/, I need some help. I'm a young guy in his first serious relationship and I have trust issues and have struggled with anxiety and depression in the past. I worry about whether or not she actually loves me from time to time and that I'm enough for her because I have trouble convincing myself that I deserve to be happy and that anyone could love me. I know she does because of everything that she's done, I just have these irrational thoughts from time to time that eat away at me. Whenever I voice these worries, she always gets weepy and I need help figuring out how to voice these irrational thoughts without making her feel like I don't know that she loves and cares about me.
pic unrelated
>>17287068
dude she is with you now - that is something - she isnt playing some sick game with your feelings and sticking around to hurt you
at least you realize your thoughts are irrational - excellent start. if she cries i would say thats a pretty good sign she really cares, unless she is some truly evil heartbreaker - doubtful
i say you ARE worthy of being loved, since its already happening in reality
>>17287068
That's pretty normal. You should slowly try to let her know about your worries. Not all at once and it can be subtly and it can be as you grow to trust and love her more. Hopefully that will bring you closer and you will get some more concrete proof to counteract the thoughts you have.
>>17287154
>>17287122
Thank you, that's really helpful. I appreciate it.
Hey /adv/ how does one accept that they will be a lonelyfag for the rest of their life? Is there a way to dull the pain, or will it eventually go away?
>>17287035
You don't, you fucking dumb nigger, fight for it.
Fight till you die.
Because at the end dying is better than being no one.
A discarded flyer in the gutter.
An abortion.
A nobody.
If you accept being "no one you might as well kill yourself.
But you mustn't.
If you're gonna go out you might as well have fun while you're at it.
Go out, have fun, talk to people, do whatever.
I was there once laddy.
You have nothing to lose, so you might as well have at it.
Talk to a random girl in a random bar
If she rejects you well then whatever, plenty o fish in the sea.
Don't give up you dumb cunt.
>>17287065
This is the most normieshit post I've ever seen
DUDE BARS AND WOMEN LMAO
>>17287035
> be a lonelyfag for the rest of their life?
Listen man, either you change your behaviour or you kill yourself.
You don't want to get lonely? Go pick up a hobby or visit events where you can meet new people. And by that I mean not going to fucking bars and pick up girls like many normans suggesting here on /adv/ to people like you. You first need control in your life and get settled with just meeting a new person...
What's the main reason that you're lonely or becoming one?
Need a quick opinion on something:
About to go on my 3rd date with this girl. Most of my clothes are dirty, no time to wash. But I have a nice button-up flannel shirt I could wear.
Problem is-- I wore this shirt on our first date. Is it a flag/notable if I were to wear this shirt again? Any quick advice would be good, thanks in advance.
TL;DR Is it okay if I wore the same shirt on the 3rd date as the 1st date?
I'd probably think you only owned two nice shirts if I were her.
>>17287022
yeah women do notice that kind of stuff - but maybe she wont care if she likes you
>>17287026
Shit, that's what I thought. Thanks for the advice, I'm gonna buy something before I pick her up.
How do I get high twice in one day? After I sober up it sometimes seems like a whole bowl has no effect on me.
Smoke more than a bowl then. Or take a tolerance break.
>getting high twice a day
Im not an experienced toker, but doesnt a high last for up to 4 hours?
>>17287042
yeah it can depending on how much you smoked (i doubt i'd feel it for 4 hours if i smoked less than 3 bowls and probably not even that) but a light fading buzz can't compare to the feeling of a fresh high
