Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 340. page
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I'm a guy, How do I improve my relationships with other guys? when I went to college, I started spending a lot of my time with girls, because sex, but now I don't know how to have fun with guys. When I'm with a guy "friend" I don't know what to do, because I can't suggest we make out, or cuddle up on his bed and watch a movie/youtube videos, or just spend an evening flirting with them. what do?
>>17289303
yes you can.
but consider the following.
When a relationship (platonic) starts, you usually need an 'excuse' to hang out. you need some sort of pretense to do anything. for men this is, lets play video games, lets watch sports, or play a board game, or play dodgeball, or go to XX or YY event. from there you bond and it gets easier. invite them over just for dinner, and have a fun time a few drinks just chilling.
>>17289303
>How do I make friends?
Topic too broad.
Try How to Make Friends and Influence People. People who had no clue how friends work say it helped.
>>17289303
Oyasumi PunPun was fucking awesome!
Why do people say that you can't judge a person based on how they look? Noticing the small details such as how they wear their hair, what clothes they choose to wear and what colors they are, how they present themselves overall, their body language, their facial expressions and features, and even their tone of voice can tell you a thousand details about a person. Reading in between the lines and having good deductive skills can be really handy in getting to figure out who a person is. Sure, you may not be able to know the person you just met in-depth, but you can sure as hell figure out some traits they have solely based off their appearance. Why do people deny this? Why do they say that "it's impossible to judge a person based off how they look." The only explanation I can come up for with this is that the person judging is noticing the things I mentioned but making negative judgments instead of just observational neutral judgments. So people just say that you can't judge people based on looks is a way to comfort people into thinking that even a girl or a guy looks like a huge bitch, and sounds like a huge bitch, they're probably really lovely on the inside.
You answered yourself
>>17289299
eh this is about their hair colour and stuff.
Only a fool would treat a ho like a lady.
>>17289299
because a 'judgement' tends to indicate being final and influences the way you approach them. thats why you see a 'judge' who decides whether or not you go to jail, or pass or fail, or whatever.
you answer your own question like the other anon said, but you are asking the wrong question.
there are many times where someone looked like a bitch and they ended up being my best friend. or really nice and turned out to be fucking retarded.
you should take into account how someone looks, but you should still give them a sense to present themself before you 'judge' them.
I'm not even sure if this will fly on /adv/, but the threads I posted in /b/ and /r9k/ got no responses so maybe I'll have some luck here.
I'm writing an outline for a screenplay at the moment, and I need to know if scalding burns from boiling water can be identified on a charred corpse. In my script I've got an altercation between a mother and her daughter taking place in a kitchen, with the daughter removing the lid from a recently boiled kettle and throwing it across her mother's face, scalding her own arms/hands in the process. After that, the mother lashes around for a bit blindly before she's eventually stabbed a few times. I'm planning to have the girl remove the corpse from their home with the help of another person at night by taking the mother's car out into the middle of nowhere and torching it, but I want to have the girl tripped up later on during a police investigation into the death when it's revealed that the corpse showed earlier signs of scalding, which she herself displays. Is that even possible once a body's been burnt to a crisp?
tl;dr - writing script, person is scalded with hot water before being stabbed, their body is taken out to secluded area and torched, will the earlier scalding be identifiable at all even after severe charring of body?
>>17289227
The short answer is no, there would not be any signs of scalding if the face has been completely charred.
However, you can fall back on the stab wounds. Write it as such that the stab wounds pierced bone in a couple of places. Use a serrated blade. Investigators would go on a hunt for a matching blade that they could test for DNA.
>>17289227
nope. if its already charred they wouldnt be able to say 'yes, but that had slight boiling before it was further burnt'.
no way to do that. its the reason people light bodies on fire. if you want to have her trip up, make her wear extremely specific shoes, with a similar footprint found. just have them ask 'whats your shoe size' even and make her get nervous over that. maybe something she was wearing (like her favorite necklace or ring) fell onto her mothers body, and while its damaged its still there and she has to play it off like 'oh my mother was taking it to get cleaned that day'...
>>17289227
The odds of that are extremely slim, when you say charred are basically saying the dermis has been removed?
That'd be the only part where it would be detectable
I think the more likely trail of evidence you should follow is a skull fracture from the lid
>Goes to /pol/: retardation, jesusfags, mudslimes and unironic national socialism support.
>Goes to 9fag/tumblr/basically any other mainstream site: muh ashamed of being white, muh I am an economic expert but am only 20 years old and follow womens studies as a serious study, muh capitalism steals from people my particular form of socialism and communism will surely work.
Is there any site where an intellectually honest discussion about politics is possible with non-retarded people?
>>17289216
You talk like a fag.
>intellectual discussions
>uses the muh meme
lol just get out
>>17289243
>deflecting
OP is right though.
Well OP there are of course other Chans, but they are pretty cancerous also.
What are some good places to chat with other gay (male) people? Not nescesarily to hook up, I just want some gay friends
>>17289189
depends what you are after. unfortunately. online or in person? online just search 'gay chat' and see what you find but the chances of just making a 'gay friend' is pretty slim to none. as much as gay people obsess over being gay, most dont want to talk aunless its about the act itself.
>>17289207
Either, or.
>>17289229
then join adam4adam, grindr, tinder, everything and google 'gay chat'. ur not asking for anything specific so just ask google.
me and my ex broke up 9 weeks ago.
Three weeks ago, we met up and talked and we agreed that even if she can't move on, and she feels that it maybe might be a mistake to let me go, that I should still try to move on even though I have told her clearly that she is the love of my life and I want to move on with her. However, she is in a bad spot mentally and is on drugs that basically numb all her emotions. That's why she feels that I wouldn't get a fair chance if we tried again. So we agreed to me giving her some space.
Two days ago, it was her birthday and I called her to congratulate her. I also asked her how she was doing and had a positive talk with no bad vibes really. I kept the call short and then asked her if I could call her again soon. She was positive to it and we hung up. Besides this one call, we have had no contact at all.
My question is, how should I continue this? When is the appropriate time to call her so as to not being pushy or a gnat or whatever? Also, is it too soon to ask her to meet me, not on a date but for some coffee or something?
I really like this girl and really want to be with her and help her through this. But I really can't read her feelings since they are all being blocked by pain killers...
Sorry if I am being a bit of a sissy on this one. But like I said, this is my first long-term relationship and I have felt that this girl is the one ever since I first met her and that hasn't changed.
>>17289172
Proper time to call her again: never.
You didn't give us any insight why you broke up. But from whatever i've been through you never enter the same river twice. It is not worth it.
>>17289172
>how should I continue this?
No.
> When is the appropriate time to call her so as to not being pushy or a gnat or whatever?
Never.
>Also, is it too soon to ask her to meet me, not on a date but for some coffee or something?
Stop.
Hi All,
Britfag here. Despite being in all top sets and generally being a pretty smart guy I left school at 16 with just a few GSCEs because I had something mental breakdown in Year 11.
I got better after a year or so and started doing customer service jobs (inbound call centre kind of things) and have been doing so since - 24 now.
While I don't mind the job I'm in currently I'm at the stage now where I feel I should actually make some use of what intellect have and try to pursue a career in something more rewarding and interesting - only I'm at a loss as to where to even start.
I'm not asking you guys to decide what I should do with my life, obviously, but if anyone can throw some advice my way so I could get the ball rolling that'd be nice. I realise too I've hardly given you a lot of information to go on - not even sure what I should give really so I'll await questions.
Thanks in advance!
>>17289151
>I'm at a loss as to where to even start
and were at a loss as to where to even push you.
i mean we need something. you didnt even tell us where your intellect lies.
math? science? politics? history? or are you claiming literature as an intelligent field?
not all nerds are created equal. someone who did extremely well in politics can not know shit about math or science or vice versa. you are not just 'smart'. you are a certain kind of smart (if any at all). so start there.
also narrow down what you fucking want further, cuz its still not enough. what is 'rewarding'. a smart math guy can go be an accountant. a smart science guy can go work for a shampoo company. is this rewarding or worth it?
is it rewarding cuz its money, or is it rewarding cuz you give back to earth?
you are asking too broad a question
>>17289161
Most things would be more rewarding than dealing with irate customers but I take your point!
English was always my strong suit in school and I'm definitely a good communicator. Been praised repeatedly at each of the jobs I've had because I can diffuse customer's grumbles most of the time by clear and firm while still being genuine and "human" rather than a faceless corporate dick or whatever.
I have a pretty impressive memory (both short and long term but mostly long term) which helps a lot with pretty much anything. While the jobs I have had don't require genius I've picked them all up a lot quicker than expected because I don't usually need telling twice.
Sorry if that's still kind of vague!
>>17289203
it is. if you're into literature, think about whats the best job that can support whatever you want to do there in your spare time, cuz there arent a lot of jobs in the 'literature' field, and considering how vague you are i wouldnt know where to begin pushing you towards if you insisted on legit working.
but for fun, write a book. or a script. or a radioplay.
Is there a psychology behind being into femdom?
>>17289149
Repression
Oedipus
I mean of course there is, but rhat doesn't mean anything to the individual. Real psychology is about case by case bases.
>>17289149
there can be. but some people just like what they like. if you dissect all the fetishes i watch regularly you'd probably think im some weird horribly traumatized sociopath. but im just kinky and very open to exploring sexuality.
also porn and real life are different things. keep in mind that while you may think you proxy yourself into the guy each time, sometimes you dont. sometimes you are just a guy watching a guy getting femdommed.
meaning you dont want fems to dom you, but you want to watch them dom others (in real life, or in porn). so whats the psychology for that? vastly different from wanting to be dominated im sure.
>>17289149
It's cool?
I'll make this brief, I hope one of you has had this experience.
I have a Motorola G 2nd gen and yesterday it stopped showing me notifications. It also will not let me swipe down to see notifications or anything at the top of the screen. I also cannot access quick settings when you swipe down twice. The only way I can tell if I have a notification is when the light starts blinking at the front.
I have scanned all options in settings and nothing seems to be messed up. Online I can't find any real solutions other than factory reset which I'd rather not do. Unless there is a settings reset without wiping all my data and info. And of course I've tried turning on and off. Have not installed any new apps that might be interfering.
pic related: what happens when I try to swipe down
making me pretty sad because now when the light starts blinking i have to check all the things to see which actually has a new 'post'
and a list of all my apps
how would you guys handle this shit?
>bf is coming to meet my family for the first time for dinner
>can't make dinner at home, gotta find a place for us to eat
>mom refuses to eat anywhere new and prefers a quiet, fancy-ish kind of setting, and most preferred is japanese or asian
>bf is fairly flexible, but unfamiliar with asian cuisine; not into sashimi and doesn't know how to use chopsticks. has social anxiety
i suggested italian, mediterranian, grills, etc. but my mom would just pick me apart for whatever i choose, yet insists i be the one who finds a place to eat.
i do know a place my mom would be happy with, but it'll completely compromise my boyfriend's tastes... what do i do?
>>17289093
If i were you i'd talk with your bf about it. Hell, if i was in such situation i'd suggest you'd teach me how to use chopsticks and give me a little try of asian food before going out.
He's the one who's supposed to work hard to make a good impression.
And in my opinion, social anxiety is way overused today. It's a poor excuse to man up and do things that you're supposed to do if you want your life to be entertaining.
>>17289093
asian is much more than raw fish. most every sushi restaurant ive been to also has basically rice with a sort of asian fried chicken or something similar. go through the menu with him before him and show him pictures of the food cuz chances are half of its just slightly higher quality versionso f what he gets at chinese take out.
after that, simply say 'HI COULD WE GET SOME FORKS' to your wiattress, cuz there is no japanese restaurant that refuses to carry forks you dumb bitch.
>social anxiety
have you considered telling him to grow the fuck up? no one likes meeting hte parents. its a chore. but acting like its a traumatizing event cuz of
>muh brain condition
is dumb.
and TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND
say
>my moms a bitch, she wants to eat here
>i know you're not a big fan, but can you NOT BE A FUCKING BABY FOR FIVE SECONDS AND JUST EAT SOME FRIED RICE WITH SHRIMP OR SOMETHING
take out the profanity and rudeness but you get the idea. this is dinner at a restaurant. not the invasion of normandie.
>>17289109
>And in my opinion, social anxiety is way overused today. It's a poor excuse to man up and do things that you're supposed to do if you want your life to be entertaining.
this. nothing drives me more insane then
>I CANT DO XX CUZ I HAVE ANXIETY
>BUT I STILL DEMAND YY TELL ME HOW TO GET IT
it is an excuse.
When filling out job applications should I let the employer know I have disability (leg doesn't work) or leave that section blank?
Which will grant me the be chance of a interview?
Depends on the country, some countries the government will give the business enough in tax breaks to fund almost your entire salary.
I usually put "will discuss" in that category.
>>17289107
I'm in America. This is an office job and I've worked office jobs in the past. It hasn't effect me before.
hi /adv/, little bit of a long story and i hope youll take the time to help me out; 4 months ago i was sitting in my colleges dining hall, eating lunch when i saw this girl, who would become my gf of now 4 months. we made eye contact several times until i gave her my number. This was on a thursday. She texted me, and we planned to go out on a date for sunday evening because she was visiting a friend's college. I figured that was fine, and we talked a little bit just about where we lived on campus and simple things. First date went really well and we decided to make it official because we had already had such a connection. Now dont get me wrong, i still love this girl, but she mentioned at one point (i forget if it was the first date or somewhere in between then and now) that she mentioned the night before she came back to our school, she had made out with some random guy at a frat party while drunk. Quick backstory: she was there because she was visiting and one of her friends boyfriends got them all on a list to go to this frat for one reason or another. she hooked up before that and i had no problem with that, but the fact that she made out with this random guy a night before we decided to be together really upsets me. Am i in the right or am i wrong? thank you for reading and i hope you can help. Feel free to ask any questions if anything needs clarification
so she was at that party and kissed someone in saturday?
>>17289071
yes
>>17289060
Getting worked up over inconsequential shit is always a bad idea. If you two weren't dating exclusively to the explicit understanding of both of you what that means, you have no right to be mad about what she does with her free time when she's single. Period.
Get the fuck over it, be happy you've got a girl at all, and man up enough to believe she's got no reason to cheat on you. It'll make everything easier whether it's true or not.
What Up advisors,
So my last two semesters of college (8 months now) I've been with this guy.
However, we both have graduated and are now across the country. We always said that long distance wasn't something that we wanted. Especially because soon he'll be doing military things that restrict his ability to communicate and I'm moving around the world. In fact, we said we'd be done after graduation and I was prepared for that.
But he's really been holding on, gets mad at me for not texting him all the time, etc.
He's coming to visit over the weekend. I know that he asked my old roommate what ring size I am and I hope to god he's not going to propose or some shit.
All the same reasons still stand. I don't want a long distance relationship let alone engagement. And I'll remind him of that if it comes to it.
My concern is that I'm going to ruin his trip here. It was supposed to be like our last hurrah. If he proposes the first day he's here do I turn him down then? What do I/we do for the rest of his trip? But waiting it out seems like an equally shitty thing to do. What's the lesser of two evils?
I would personally recommend getting these feelings out before he comes, that way if he takes it really hard, he could just not show up. If that's not possible, then don't waste time leading him on at all. Turn him down immediately. It'll weigh on your conscience the entire time you're there and he'll feel like he was teased.
>>17289058
It seems pretty obvious that you wouldn't be interested in marrying this guy even without the distance. You should let him know immediately.
>>17289076
This is OK, but I think not having this conversation in person is a little shitty and a lot cowardly.
Obviously he's acting like he wants to continue the relationship, possibly to the tune of proposing. You need to lay all your cards down as soon as you see him though. Tell him what you've discovered, tell him you're still not interested in continuing a long distance relationship, and then just tell him how you really feel. If you want to be friends, say so, if you think it'd be easier to just go your own ways, tell him that.
No matter what you say or when you say it, it's going to fucking suck, so just get on with it so at least you'll know if you're worried about nothing or not.
I was talking with this girl I'm crushing on, and the topic came up of getting with (i.e. kissing/touching up - is 'getting with' a phrase that's used in the US? Anyway...) people in clubs. She's gotten with several guys in the past (but not slept with anyone except in an actual relationship); I've gotten with a few, but definitely fewer than her, although I have had some casual sex.
And the thought of her getting with these guys bothers me so much. Hypocritical, I know, since I've done it too, but the image of her with these guys in some club absolutely disgusts me, in a way I can't work out. Why? The thought of it in a relationship doesn't bother me, perhaps because there's love there. But the thought of her getting so physical so quickly with some stranger in a club... I don't know. Is it some ego thing? Do I feel threatened? Is it normal or am I fucked up psychologically? I don't know if there are any Freuds here but I'm really curious to find out what is going on here.
Pls no bullshit non-answers about her not being 'pure' that are based only on societal expectations
Stop being a jealous asshole. Get over it fucking hypocrite. Maybe you do feel threatened but if she's going to be with you then just be confident that you're good enough. Are you worried about it happening again? Or that you're just another quick hookup. Either way you've gotta decide if you're going to trust her or not. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt because judging her for this that would be dumb shit
>>17289054
Probably jealousy and double standard.
That's not abnormal, but it's not a positive either. Most people are good at rationalizing and excusing away their own behavior as ok but condemning the same thing in others.
>>17289064
>>17289070
thanks for the replies, and yeah I feel bad because it's so hypocritical, but I still feel it
First official interview is on Monday. I never had an "official" job most of the work I've done has been off the books and I've never had an interview before. Mostly casual meeting on the levels of hey you want work? Anything I should know? What do I wear? Do I have to wear a button up and tie with shoes?
>man
Wear a button up dress shirt and dark dress slacks and a tie. Polo Shirt might be okay if it's very informal. Make sure dress shoes are polished and they match your belt. Remove all piercings and hide tattoos.
>woman
Wear a knee length skirt and a blouse, conservative colors. A pantsuit also works. Closed toe shoes. Don't go overboard on makeup or jewelry. Remove all but ear piercings and hide tattoos.
Clean nails, ears, teeth. Don't use too much cologne or perfume (or any at all really).
Introduce yourself kindly to everyone you meet. Stand when you are introduced to someone. Firm handshake with 2 gentle pumps.
Bring pen, notepad, extra copies of resume, list of references. Leave your cell phone where you can't ever touch it. If you need it on you, turn it off.
Before interview, read up on the company and understand who they are and what they do. What are their longterm goals? What problems are they going through now? Who is the most important person in the company, location?
Read up on some common interview questions and practice. They hate vague answers and love explicit examples. For example, "when is a time you had conflict with your group and how did you solve it?" "Well, one time in high school I was the team leader during our stock market project..."
Maintain eye contact. If you're interviewed on a panel, look mostly at the person who asked the question. Avoid making jokes. Never be baited into bad mouthing old employers or dropping your professional attitude. Some will try to be cold to freak you out, some will try to be friendly to get you to lower your guard. Always be polite but professional.
When they ask "Do you have any questions for me?" ASK FUCKING QUESTIONS. Nothing says passive/lazy like "Uh, no that's all." Ask about the company culture, ask about specifics on the job, whatever.
Join CO*OP
Depends on the job, you idiot.
![0yVHmgB[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/JkSiCgu.jpg "0yVHmgB[1]")
