Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 352. page
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Alright so I'm strongly opposed to drugs and I recently found out about my current girlfriend and how she used to do hardcore drugs, I'm still with her but every time i look at her i feel completely disgusted by the thought of it and it bothers me all day, wut do
>>17282223
if you cant accept people for who they are, then you shouldnt bother dating or talking to anyone.
you have decided that ap erson who doesnt do drugs anymore is disgusting cuz they used to. by that logic you cant have sex with them cuz you know they've taken a shit before and might as well be taking a shit while ur fucking her pussy.
>>17282231
I see, i just want to get it over it cause it's the past
>>17282240
thats what im saying. but tto get over it you have to mentally will it.
Lets say I learn that my gf listens to kpop and I find that it bothers me. The first thing I assume is that she fetishizes asian guys or something similar.
Now I want to ask if my behavior is normal and/or healthy. Some people on r9k say it isnt but what do you guys think? What word describes what I feel and how do I stop feeling this way?
What word describes my behavior* as in whats the root cause
>>17282162
>>17282162
Aren't certain women kinda fetishized too? Just a question tho.
My sister is into that. I find it to be a really bizarre fan base. And my sister's wall is plastered in 2PM posters, she has a damn shrine of one of the members. And we are in our mid twenties for christ's sake.
Honestly, I don't even see it as a asian fetishisizing thing, it's really just a weird boy band thing. Any girl who obsesses over boy bands and is over 15 (and that age is even cutting it close) seems really fucking immature for some reason.
>>17282162
There's insecurity here if you're thinking that enjoyment of kpop has anything to do with fantasies about Asian men! Some people like rock, others rap, etc. and would never IRL think more of it beyond enjoying the music. Most pop idol worship is just for fun and just a phase. Stop worrying about that and think about why it really bothers you...why do you even care so much about it?
Just stumbled upon #proudtobe gayshit which is orchestrated by google itself which also deletes unwanted comments there on youtube.
Feeling the urge to discuss various things in a fundamental and continious way rather than emitt little sentence fragments into the web without having an exchange.
Suggest me some websites, forums, or maybe boards on 4chan, places in the internet, where you have a social community with real persons, and can discuss politics, philosophy, questions on life, exchange every-day things?
I like 4chan, but its, very obviously anonymus, so if you can suggest me some more personal places in the internet too, that would be a bonus.
Have you tried /trash/ op?
>>17282078
im serious
>>17282110
I am too
What's wrong with me?
The girls I like the most are the most fucked ones. Alternative/hipster girls whom after banging the second or third time profess to telling me they cut themselves and are self-proclaimed sluts (one literally called herself a slut).
But they're also the most interesting to talk to, like the same shit I do, have the bad girl style I like.
Normie girly girls don't turn me on the way these alternative girls do-but I know the alternative girls are walking red flags and for all purpose "broken" and ill-fit for anything serious.
Should I just accept that I'll be dating broken girls with serious issues for the rest of my life?
Think if it's a "real" problem or not. Like how much they do trouble your life or not. At least you say you've been succesful with these women so far. I think it's alright. Besides normies probably have problems of their own too, they are just less visible.
I have the same taste as you tbqh.
chances are your mother was probably troubled in some regard since most people naturally look for mates similar to their parents
>>17281990
I'm trying to go in the polar opposite of my mother desu
Maybe it's a subconscious thing
>graduate graphics design study
>chill for a couple months
>start applying for jobs
>nothing - instead apply for internships because i have little job experience
>cant get internships due to being shit? or at least thanks to minimum wage cutting all internships down to 50%
>score a couple job interviews, get declined by all of them after all
>this has been going on for 1.5 years now
what the fuck do i do
i feel useless, i have this pressure on me, its crushing me, i just want to fucking work, im not the best designer the world has ever seen but i sure am better than half of my old semester, even the idiots who couldnt use photoshop after studying 4 years got some job because they had their shitty connections, if i only was able to network
>>17281880
>graduate graphics design study
Fuck the arts unless you have talent in your particular art.
Get a job flipping burgers or something while you build a portfolio of your own work.
Be good.
Find a job (any job). Continue applying for entry level positions in your desired field. It's better to have job experience in something completely unrelated, rather than nothing.
>arts degree
Well, you tried
I have what my friends are calling a "good problem." but I don't know how to handle it.
I met a girl online months ago and ended up meeting up with her while traveling back in the spring. We hooked up, had a good couple of days together, and then we sort of left it as a fun life experience with the plan to never speak again.
A few weeks later, she got really shitfaced and contacted me upset that it ended like it did and I ended up calling her. We struck up our old conversations, and from there started skyping, texting, calling, and all of that at least once or twice a week. This also led to sending pics (including nudes), phone/skype sex, and sort of snowballed into "wish you were here" type talk.
At some point I mentioned that I could fly down, but then renegged when I got slammed with hard times, and so she went and bought a ticket instead to come see me. She'll be spending nearly a week at my place and once that was "set" suddenly I am the talk of her family and friends, this "mysteriously amazing guy she met on vacation who must be her destined love."
Here's the shitty thing though: I don't really want this. At all.
She lives across the country, for one, and while we talked about "if only" I know that, deep down, this could never work. I can't support a long-term relationship and don't plan on leaving my job or my life, and I know that she is in a similar boat. We're chasing at "maybes" at this point.
For two, I haven't felt as strong a desire to talk to her as I did a few weeks ago. To be completely honest, I haven't even contacted her over the phone or social media in about a week and she flies up in less than a day.
>>17281846
That way she and I originally described the trip was "testing the waters" to see if we could click a second time around. But as time wore on, it became "I just want to be with you" and "I can't wait for you to hold me and fuck me in person again." Way more from her than me, but I definitely said similar things at some point in our conversations.
To throw an even bigger wrench in the works, while I said I felt "okay with being single" while she was in the picture I did actually meet somebody. I felt this extreme urge to get out there rather than waiting for this girl a thousand miles away, and started putting myself out into the open on dating apps, at bars, in my social circles, etc. This girl is totally aware as I slowly injected the idea into conversations, but I think she's overconfident that I will be true to her. And, last week, without her knowing, I met somebody who is not only a really fun, interesting match, but she is local. Which is huge. I've already taken this girl out on a date and hung out with her two more times, and it's a feeling I haven't had in a while -- not even with the girl I met on the vacation.
It's almost like this girl from out of state was my stopgap to satisfy my urges until I met somebody who satisfied my needs.
I feel like a tremendous fucking idiot. I have no idea how I want to handle this, but my gut is telling me to ditch the girl from out of state. Even if it means slowly being a "terrible host" so that she comes up with her own decision to drop me. I don't know how else to handle it and still land on my feet.
Help?
>tl;dr have a girl I met online and in person flying out to visit me for a week, but I'm not feeling it anymore and only recently met somebody else who is a better match and also not a thousand miles away and inaccessible. How do I let down the girl from out of state?
>>17281846
By long-term relationship I met "long distance." Oops!
I want nothing more than a LTR, but it can't be with somebody who I can only twice a year...
Boring. Just fuck them both, nobody's promised anything yet
I'm a 20-something stuck between a wealthy father who is going to kick me out, and a shitty waiting job I'm about to loose.
I've been saving my money, living small; but I honestly have no idea where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do
I have aspergers and I find many things very difficult like driving or shopping, and I never did very well in school for reasons unrelated to my academic ability.
my family is honestly very unkind to me, and have never been much support; yet I struggle to maintain my independence.
I need to get a real job, but university isn't a real option for me
career testing I undertook came back with anomalous and unhelpful results
something has to give sooner or later
>>17281788
You need to suck it up and do things you're uncomfortable with, because you can either do them now or later, when you're homeless.
>>17281798
it's a practical issue, not one of willpower
I am prepared to do what I have to, but I'm not sure what that is
it's not about what's uncomfortable, I live in a perpetual echo chamber; I'm not really sure how to explain it to someone else but if I'm under to much strain I simply can't cope, trying harder doesn't make me more functional
I jump at noises and flashes, I get overwhelmed if too many things or people are moving, I struggle to do things sequentially
my father shows me little respect in the household, he constantly pushes me to spend my money having fun; yet doesn't understand I don't have fun like other people do and tht while he threatens to kick me out I need that money for personal security.
he is an alcoholic and is often away, he eats out every meal then blows it at me for making dishes; he leaves the house unlocked or the door wide open when I'm asleep, I can't keep living with him.
>>17281788
there are middle grounds. its not just 'minimum wage vs university'.
while im sure you struggled you could attempt to go to community college. all you need is a shitty generic business type degree to land an office job.
i went to a fucking film school to get my associates degree and now i manage a business. the point is that you just need something on paper saying 'I LEARNED' to do generic work that is above burger flipping.
also consider trade school. also consider driving for lyft or uber. my friend has legit autism and he does that, makes a little extra money whenever he gets something published in the san diego times.
>bang gf for first time
>turn her around for doggy
>theres shit in the crack omg
>lose erection immediately
What do fit? I wanna get rid of her but she's under the impression I got ED because I lost my erection
Help me please
>>17281697
And by shit I mean theres like diarrea al over her asscrack
Be honest.
>I can't see you anymore. You don't wipe your ass properly and it's a deal breaker.
>It's so fucking disgusting that it makes my dick limp.
>>17281697
That's pretty disgusting.
Dump and move on my friend, that's the best advice I can give you
>hooked up with a girl
>asks me add on FB and go out
>whatever, i could fuck around with a bar slut before dumping
>later on add her and talk
>turns out she got cheated on a month ago and she's been going out with a couple of dudes at once to get over the pain
>also, trust issues
I'm smarter than let myself get cucked by some slut, but I've looking to fuck around with someone casually, no strings attached. I haven't had anything going and just want some casual hookups. wat do /adv/?
Either hit and run or just run.
Kill the fucking bitch.
>>17281680
It sounds like you found what you are looking for!
Keep knocking it off until she disappears, then move on to someone else
Just keep your emotions close to you, and don't let her get into your head - keep it physical
Anyone ever date someone larger than them. Especially a women.
I have feels for this pretty girl only issue is she's chunky. Got a tummy couldn't wear a two piece and I'm sure I can't lift her. 5'3 bmi of 30.2
And i don't want to hear from family and friends about her weight and I'm sure she is going to be insecure.
Any advice?
She's definitely not a land whale. She actually decently well and is motivated and good hygiene
>>17281612
A lot of the times I find people who are just 'chubby' or a little chunky just dont have that outside motivation to eat better or excercise.
I used to be 5'7" and 198lbs. I got a girlfriend 2 years ago and now I weigh like 145.
Honestly if you actually like this girl, and care for her, date her. Warm up to eachother, and start going to the Gym together, buying yummy Fruit/Veggies, etc.
There are so many 'chubby' girls from Highschool that transformed into busty, plump ass adults once they dropped a good 20lbs.
>>17281612
>She's definitely not a land whale. She actually decently well and is motivated and good hygiene
Why not ?
I've dated chubs and am with one now. It has is pro's.
>And i don't want to hear from family and friends
So you're worried what they say ? Fuck them.
Man up. You like her. Date her.
Any real person in your life won't judge you. Only shallow fuckers you probably don't need to be around.
>>17281612
>And i don't want to hear from family and friends about her weight and I'm sure she is going to be insecure.
Tell them to piss off then? None of anything you said sounds like a problem. Just date her.
I am currently unemployed due to a lack of work in the construction field and would like to get out of that type of work and move to the internet for a full time job.
How do you make enough money online to support yourself?
It doesnt sound realistic
>due to lack of work in the construction field
where you at op? Cause it definitely ain't slow for me or anyone in my area
Currently in Michigan, USA
So I'm going to be moving out of my parents house, sharing a place with a friend.
Aside from some obvious stuff like respecting their space and cleaning your own mess, is there anything someone should know entering their first roommate arrangement?
>>17281456
Prepare to master the Stealth-Wank
>>17281456
>respecting their space and cleaning your own mess
Yeah, that's going to go right out the window.
>>17281456
>sharing a place with a friend
You are going to learn a lot of things about your friend that you may or may not like. Prepare yourself.
Don't eat other people's food, clean your shit up, don't bring people over without asking your roommate first, don't blast music etc. In general you just need to be conscious of your roommate.
Guys , if you were a girl , what would you do to attract the guy you are interested in?
Would you want the girl to be respectful towards herself and others like, "I'm available Thursday evening if you'd like to go out to dinner with me. Just let me know if something comes up, we can always reschedule".
OR
Would you rather have the girl come up to you and be very straightforward like , "I wanna bang."
I would be definitely respectful to myself.
Wanna bang if I want that and nothing more.
Just do what you want to do and you will attract the kind of men that suit you best.
Personally the second choice you give will immediately make me assume the girl is a whore, but a lot of guys don't care about that and just want to fuck. So do whatever.
Somewhere in between.
I think every guy has the fantasy where a hot girl wants to go up to him and bang, but IRL that kind of aggressiveness is really strange. It just throws me off. On some level, I want to take the masculine role of being the one to initiate things. If the girl just throws herself at me lewdly, I have the instinctive reaction of wanting to find a girl of higher sexual value, which doesn't make sense to me on a logical level, but is exactly my reaction on an instinctive one. That said, if I'm not getting any positive reaction from the girl and I'm pursuing, that's an even bigger turn off. I get why it works this way - if I just give up I appear as weak, and on a subconscious level I signify myself as more timid and uncertain, and thus a less valuable sexual candidate. But if I could alter reality, I would stay as the pursuer, but have the girl respond extremely positively to my advances.
IRL, I've only been with two women. On the occasions where a woman has clearly been on the prowl and throws herself at me, I'm just instantly turned off. Then when I think about it later, sometimes I kick myself for it.
The two times I was with women, it was because I was pursuing them uncharacteristically aggressively, because I was horny, and probably because I wasn't thinking straight. I'm almost surprised I didn't get charged with sexual assault with the second girl, but she responded so positively to the advance (which literally involved me groping the inside of her thigh and her breast) that I got her number, the next time we met we had crazy sex, and I wound up dating her for six months. This experience didn't at all fit my preconceived notions of how you're supposed to act with women... still doesn't, which I guess is indicative of how off my understanding of women is, and ergo why I've been so unsuccessful.
tl;dr as a guy I want to be the pursuer, but I want the girl to respond ridiculously positively and encouragingly
I had a one night stand with a girl in a hostel (no protection). I never told her my name but she could figure it out if she asked around. Should I never talk to her again, or get in touch with her on Facebook?
P.s, I stole a pair of her panties before I started flirting with her, she might suspect me or someone else in the hostel if she noticed them missing.
Do nothing until she's on your doorstep with your bastard child in her arms demanding child support
>>17281373
You really think a slut wants to get back in touch with you?
At least you know where you got your genital warts from. Enjoy getting shit burned off your dick.
>renting
>if i get hot water out of the tap, it's a milky white color
>cold water is clear and looks fine
What's going on here? Is it contamination? Should i try to get the landlord to fix it?
it is fine, just remember to moisturize your skin after showering.
But if you mean if its good enough to drink... i would not count on any tapwater, without boiling it first. Yeah, i boil and chill it in the fridge, just to be sure its clean
>>17281357
Milky white? If you shake or stir the water does it become clear? If it does, then there's just air in the water and it's fine to use.
http://water.usgs.gov/edu/qa-chemical-cloudy.html
