Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 295. page
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>Gf of 2 1/2 years ends it
>Very sudden
>No arguments for months prior to breakup
>Her reason verbatim was "I don't know, we have nothing in common"
>I become sad
>Look for internet advice
>Tells me "no contact, socialize, work on self"
>That was 2 months ago
>Have not contacted
>Have worked on self
For these past months I have been working out harder, socializing a lot more and pushing myself in multiple aspects of my life. I am much happier than I was, I still push myself in every way and I'm moving on.
That being said, I still miss her.
I have things I still plan to do/accomplish before even thinking about initiating contact, but that being said, should I even entertain the idea of reaching out to her?
I know this is a common topic here, but please give me some explanation to your opinion on the matter; I don't want to tally up "yes's" and "no's" to decide. I want to hear your thoughts.
>2 months
lol amateur
>>17299699
So how long would you suggest I wait?
>>17299789
>how long should I wait
You entertaining the idea that you even want to rekindle some sort of contact with her is he problem. Just remove that idea and move on.
Guys could you share god-tier traits your woman/whatever should have?
And traits which will make you drop the moman with the speed of light too.
Maybe fix picrelated
>Boobs the size of watermelons
>white ((((((EXTREMELY IMPORTANT))))))
>dosen't talk much
Congrats ur a prime gf
>>17299680
lives for sex and wants to be fucked forever. No personality required
>>17299680
I like
>dark hair on light skin
>light eyes on dark skin
>green eyes with black hair
>light brown eyes with blonde hair
>no one of my own "race" or they would have to be very attractive
>nerdy white guys (glasses or bust)
>stylist Latino guys
>cute Asians
>ambiguous gender/race is god tier, those are usually the prettiest
>ottermode or swimmers body
>medium length hair (no buzzcuts, etc.)
>sun tanned skin if not white
>sexually open (no uber religious guys or prudes)
That's a short list of that I like, it's not the whole list. I decided to mention my opinion even though you were asking about guys because why not. Please note these aren't requirements, but perks.
After 5 years, my wife wants a divorce.
I thought everything was fine, so this has completely blindsided me. We have a comfortable life, never argue, I love her, and she says she still loves me as a friend but isn't in love with me anymore.
She wants to travel and doesn't want to have kids. I on the other hand would like to have kids one day (but wasn't pressuring her to do it) and do not feel the need to travel. She loves nature, and I love indoors. And I guess I just wasn't giving her the romance or excitement she wanted or needed.
Now I am completely devastated. I can't fathom how someone can think so little of commitment or loyalty to just suddenly out of the blue say she wants out. But it is what it is, and no amount of crying or asking "why" is going to change it.
Now we live in an apartment together which we are in a lease through February. We have separate bank accounts which are tied together in the same "master" account and we split all the bills. I'm basically not sure what to do at this point to either fix the situation or make it go away.
But I am in great emotional pain and in need of any advice anyone can offer. Thanks in advance.
>pic not related
>>17299621
Try therapy. It helped me when my gf of 8 years left me. Legally make sure she can't screw you over. You can ask her if she'd like to come to therapy with you but don't expect anything from her. A lot of times couples therapy ends up being grief counseling for the one not ready to leave the relationship.
Book a trip to Thailand by yourself and then Italy buy a dog and go hiking
>>17299621
Holy shit it's totally like my ex-future wife. She did something similar just before the wedding.
It was also about traveling and no kids, are they being brainwashed somehow to do this?
And she was the one pushing for wedding and happy family in the first place. She confessed love to me in the first month of our relationship (yeah a red flag).
I can't imagine changing your feelings just for some shitty reason like that after many years, this always freaks me out in people, I can't even relate to this way of thinking.
Fucking females. What the shit?
I got the Teen Suicide "It's the Big Joyous Celebration, Let's Stir the Honeypot" vinyl and tried listening to it on my Linn Sondek LP12 and it sounded really slow even though its completely new. My record player is completely fine and all my other records play completely fine except this one. The record was shipped from America, could it be they aren't meant to be played on European record players? I don't know, it could be an issue with the record itself but yeah... I don't know.
Well I googled the question and found this
>https://forum.audiogon.com/discussions/how-do-i-adjust-the-speed-on-my-linn-sondek-lp-12
>Assuming the motor an dpower supply are OK, the speed CAN be adjusted, but it is a pain in the keister to do. The only way to do it is by shifting the tilt angle on the motor pulley. Thiss is accomplished by loosening/tightening the two adjustment scrws next to the pulley. These screws contact the casing of the motor and by loosening/tightening will tilt the motor (and pulley) for minor speed adjustments. Alittle goes a long way, and you must first loosen one of the set screws before tightening the other in order to avoid deforming the motor casing. You do need something like the KAB strobe to check the speed when doing this..
You might also try posting on >>>/diy/
Lots of skillful repair guys there.
>listening to nu-music on vinyl
lol o wow
Not our field of expertise. This is /relationships/. Try /mu/.
I created a dating account just for the hell of it without expecting much just to see what was in my area and maybe for a quick hookup. The profile picture I used isn't me because I felt weird about having my face on a public dating site, but its a pic I found online of someone who has very similar facial features to mine. Everything else I wrote on the profile is genuine, just the profile pic is fake.
This girl began talking to me about a week ago, and now I'm really starting to like her. We're going on a date tomorrow but now I'm nervous as fuck. Not because of the date but because of the fake profile pic.
Should I be honest and tell her that it was a fake pic or just hope she doesn't notice? I have already deleted the dating profile so she can't go back and look at it. The fake pic is a doppleganger version of me but there's still some minor differences if you look for them.
Post both of the pictures here and I'll use my expertise to see if you'll be okay.
if this were the plot of a movie id watch it
>>17299573
i suggest the same
-need straightfoward questions to ask females on the interwebs so i dont seem boring.
Anything from erotic ,adult and basic to get thing s going and interesting.fwtish questions to just whatever you got
-would like alot of females to asnwer but males answers are cool to
>>17299538
I don't know why but you type like you were on speed
Do you like big black dick
(Op here)Lol i type fast when i gotta poop sorry
I posted about my fiance here a while ago, we've been together 5 years, 3 of those were long distance, 1 of those we lived with roommates, and the rest of the time it's just been us two. He used to do coke, drink, smoke cigs and weed, and party. He quit everything except drinking. He's a responsible guy with good work ethic and able to stand on his own.
My beef is that after cracking his ribs because of a fall while he was drunk, he said that he'd take a break from drinking. Alcohol has been a problem before, he's gotten violent (not with me, but he destroyed our first apartment), he's said that before, it's been somewhat successful before, he used to get shitfaced a lot more than he does now, and so I thought the problem was dissolving.
>be me last night
>open fridge cuz starving, fiance's already been home for a couple of hours
>find 6pack with 2 beers gone
>ask him about it
>he gets defensive
>go put some shit in the sink
>bottle of whiskey I had just stared at while doing dishes is next to sink as always
>notice it's an inch or so less full than it had been for that entire week
>bring it up
>he says he hasn't drank from it
>gets even more defensive
>starts fighting with me, I'm just talking calmly
>starts throwing alcohol in trash
>I just walk away and go to bed
>we discuss this further, he's agitated, I'm not at all
>just telling him my problem is he said he'd take a break, not that he drinks
>he thinks I'm prohibiting from having "a beer after work"
>AM I NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A BEER
>says it's his only outlet right now
>this morning I'm doing dishes again and find a shot glass in the dishwasher
He usually has 2-3 shots and like 2 beers every day after work. Idk what to do at this point. Idk if that's excessive. Idk if I've been blind for 5 years. Idk what to fucking do.
FIVE FUCKING YEARS
>>17299473
That's not a terrible drinking habit.
Most the alcoholics I see are buying 3-4 half pints at a time, because if they bought the bigger bottle they'd just drink the whole thing.
Keep in mind, a half pint is more than 2-3 shots.
Adding a few beers into the mix aint hurting noone, especially after a long day at work.
If this habit starts happening in the mornings, or during work, then I could see it being a problem.
>>17299473
> Idk what to fucking do.
For starters don't keep a fucking bottle of whiskey right next to the sink.
This isn't rocket science.
>>17299486
I lol'd at this. And yet it's true.
I am being told i should sue lyft. I have no idea where to even begin and to be honest I have zero moneys. i scrounge up an extra couple hundred bucks a month but things are tighter than usual.
do i have any hope in this or what?
>>17299458
We're going to need some details here mate.
>>17299491
>get a lyft home
>guy seems friendly we chat
>we talk about where we've been
>i mention guam
>he says he cant go there or hed lose his wife
>i ask what he means
>says you can get a girl to take care of you for a week for 20 bucks there
>i explain thats not true, its more expensive to live there than in california, prostitution exists but its not an industry the way it is in hawaii or okinawa cuz our main source of tourism is from japan
>he insists im just a child and dont understand
>i say 'im not a child, i manage a business, and I've actually lived there so i would no better'
>i start to unbuckle my belt cuz were right around the corner from my place
>keeps calling me a child starts saying 'BETTER BE CAREFUL YOU'RE STILL IN MYYYYY CAR'
>i get out at my stop say
>okay, enjoy your tip
>flip him off
>he gets out of the car yelling and running
>chases me up to my gate
>i kick him as he comes at me, but hes over 6 feet tall and extremely jacked
>he starts doing this thing where he 'whacks' my arms and chest, sometimes grabbing and squeezing
>i do my best to fend him off, start screaming for help
>someone comes by and says they'll call the cops
>he leaves and says 'NEVER FLIP SOMEONE OFF'
>i of course flip him off as he says this.
>i call lyft they file a report
>next day wake up sore and have bruises
>lyft sends me a message saying 'there will be disciplinary action' and that 'we hope your future rides will be more enjoyable'
>>17299458
Haha I'm in that OP pic
I've been applying everywhere for a new job.
How do I stave off anxiety while waiting for people to call me back?
why are you anxious? you should be more like excited
>>17299472
I'm unemployed, and afraid I won't find a good job.
>>17299481
We all have to start somewhere OP. What's yoiur background?
Well this is a rough read
https://m.reddit.com/r/blackladies/comments/4pynla/okay_ladies_lets_talk_about_it_does_dick_size/
Sorry for linking to reddit. I stumbled upon it when I was looking into dick sizes, and those comments fucked me up.
I'm like 5 inches and not very much girth. Friend of my girlfriend of three years told me her old boyfriend was super hung
I kind of always felt like I wasn't pleasing my girlfriend but I guess it's probably true. Sad realization.
And yes, I have spoken to her about it. She insisted everything was good for her but I'm certainly not causing the same kinds of stories her ex caused.
And this is probably the most pathetic thing I've ever wrote.
Read "she comes first the thinking mans guide to pleasuring a woman" by Ian Kerner. Once you read this book I promise you will be able to please any girl. I've been married for 6 years after I read this book my wife and I started having more sex than when we were high school and she is always horny and wants more now. I don't have a huge dick either but she gets off EVERY TIME we have sex.
You can find it in the kindle store on Amazon and just download it lol buying a book like that at the store might be a little awkward haha
>>17299452
Thanks, I definitely will
Easy ways to make money on the side?
I.E. Donating plasma
https://www.mturk.com/mturk/welcome
You can sell sperm/blood/plasma-
If you live in the UK you can't sell sperm and some places have no where willing to buy blood or plasma for miles.
Paid clinical trials-
This is where you basically test experimental drugs or psychology tests, these give good money but you have to spend days at a time In quarantine and have to keep going back a couple of times to be tested for results. The best way to get these in the UK is by singing up to trials4us online, I get weekly emails telling me about trials BUT it's in south London so it can be hard to get to depending on where you live
>>17299289
What are you good at or qualified to do? Education? What country are you in?
My GF has a friend who she used to make really intense sexual jokes with. Hanging out with the guy for the first time, he made a sexual comment to her in front of me that made my jaw drop.
I didn't say anything about it until sometime later. I let her know that I don't understand their friendship and that the sexual comments are a bit much for me to put up with.
After the "we are just friends" speech, she relented and said, yes this crosses a line.
So I went and snooped on her and his insta and twitter and found out that they went to a few highly sexually charged events, that she suggested he be her boyfriend and all sorts of stuff like this.
Now I'm not proud of the fact that I went snooping but I feel like I'm in a "where there is smoke there is fire" sort of situation.
She maintains that they have curbed this sort of behavior, that they no longer really talk because she spends most of her time with me anyhow.
But I can't help but feel that this is more than just a friendship and these jokes are not merely jest.
I did get ugly and say I don't want her to be friends with someone who would disrespect our relationship like this, but I also don't want to be a controlling asshole.
I did her that I would be checking her/his social media and if something seems strange, she should know I would be aware and bringing it up. She interpreted this as a threat, but I really just meant to say I was suspicious and would be treating it as such.
What do I do? I'm 100% not ok with this kind of shit.
Its not really up to you who your girl is friends with buddy, you can tell her what makes you uncomfortable, but outright demanding who she can and can't hang out with is controlling man. On the flip side if she doesn't take what you say into account and at least try to limit what she does to push your buttons then she's a cunt who's not worth your time regardless.
>>17299208
Ofc she can be friends with the dude if she wants. Despite my initial feelings, I told her its fine and I can't make that choice for her. I'm just saying that there is a line of respect that shouldn't be crossed.
Clearly it was in this case and I think I have every reason to believe that they are interested in one another as more than just friends. But I still relented.
>>17299198
what was the sexual comment that made your jaw drop?
Hey /adv/
My parents are going out of town for the weekend and my friend talked me into throwing a party.
However, while I have been to a party, I've never had a party at my house before.
I was wondering if anyone had any tips for making this be fun/go smoothly etc
well, what kind of plan do you have? how many people? how much space do you have, how much money do you have to spend?
Normally you shouldnt let others let you push you to make a party.
>>17298827
I'm not really against the idea, I just probably wouldn't have chosen it myself
I have no plan so far but smaller is probably better. I don't have much money really, but BYO for parties is the standard here. My house is bigger side of average.
>>17298806
As someone who recently graduated uni and having dealt with many parties in the past, I suggest one very important thing:
The only time any crazy bad shit will happen if people get too drunk. To solve this, provide a central mixer for the party. Tell them ahead of time as to entice them to come but also discourage them from bringing a lot of their own shit.
When you make this mixer, you make it super weak. Problems solved.
How have you improved yourself in the past year /adv/?
Surprisingly last year's july I promised i won't act like an autist anymore, dyed my hair to mark that and
>started to be more vulnerable with relationships
>cut ties with emotionally abusive friends, with whom i associated, because mom whined i have no friends
>become more open, try to tell about myself, even if i think it's too lame
>attempted to try to listen and be interested in other people
>stopped wallowing in despair and fixed my college work ethic mistakes (a bit)
Now I have strengthened my friendships and it feels good that someone besides my family appreciates me.
And i feel less of a loser maybe.
>>17298756
Grats anon, keep it up
I love that only one anon replied, it tells something about 4chan
I fucked up hard /adv/
I dated a trap or a MtF transgender for the past 6 months. Recently I decided to break up with her because she is too clingy and is already trying to controll my life.
The thing is all my friends and family doesn't know I'm dating her because they might think I'm gay. Now she intends to say it to my family and friends. She is passable and qt but she says she will show her shepenis and boipussy to them just to show I am gay.
What do now? I can't breakup with her since she will definitely do it. What are my options?
deal with it, youve been gay all along anyway
No she won't.
If she does, tell your friends/family you didn't know and you broke up when you found out
but you are gay anon
