Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 296. page
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I'll be talking with a girl, and then suddenly out if the blue she'll say something like "am I annoying you?" or something along those lines. I've noticed I get this a lot when I start getting closer to girls - they seem to have a huge sense if self doubt or the feeling that they're unworthy of happiness. What's the correct way to deal with this? Or should it be seen as a red flag?
Chad what the fuck are you doing on 4chan man
all girl/women are like that deep down, some show it more obvious some less
> "am I annoying you?"
you asking me if you're annoying is annoying
>>17298668
Are you absolutely sure you are not unconsciously signalling boredom or annoyance in your face or body language? Maybe it is not they who are at fault.
![male-and-female-relationship-sign[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/FG5plBa.jpg "male-and-female-relationship-sign[2]")
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Here's a question for the girls
>Set up online dating account years ago
>Enter wrong birth year - it says I'm a year older than I am as a result. Don't bother changing it (just never get around to it)
>Start seeing girl who is a year older than my actual age
>Seem to hit it off, really like her
>She asks when my birthday is
>Remember my fuck up on the website, realise she thinks I'm the same age as her
>Tell her it's at the end of the year
>She now thinks I'm slightly older than her
tl;dr basically sort of lied to the girl I'm seeing about how old I am because I was worried she'd think I was lying and not want to see me again if I told her about what I did wrong on the website.
Girls: how would you feel if the guy you were seeing told you this one day?
Bump...I thought these threads generally took off more
>>17296560
I'd start to question what more he is hiding. The lie in itself isn't that bad, one year here or there, unless you are underage, doesn't really matter. You should've come clean when the opportunity came, I don't think she even remembered your age from the site.
How should I answer these questions?
>Why do you want to work at <pizza restaurant>?
>Do you consider yourself a leader?
>Can you provide examples of how you were able to effectively manage employees at past jobs?
>I need a job
>Yes
>Yes I can
>>17300799
>to further my cooking experience and gain experience on what it would be like in a restaurant cooking all day
>are you going to be stupid and say no
>use an actual example or make one up, if it's babby's first job name or make up a real world example
>>17300799
*pizza restaurant* offers great pizza for a _____ price. People get excited when they order a pizza, and it's usually a special treat. I love baking, rolling dough, and making sure that we're able to reliably deliver a great pizza to our customers.
Yes, I do consider myself a leader. In the past, when I worked at _____, one of my favorite memories was when I helped my team to _____ . I think that real leadership is helping to bring out the best in people and creating a great, inclusive atmosphere.
When I worked at ____, one of our employees had a problem with _____. It was really an ongoing issue. So what I did was sit down and communicate with him the standards of our team, and let him know that if he wasn't willing to live up to those standards, he wasn't going to be a part of our team anymore. Luckily, he decided that he valued his job and he's still working there today. He even got promoted to assistant manager! (or talk about how you taught an employee to do xyz or managed a conflict between two employees)
How do I get revenge on the guy that psychologically abused my family for years? And I need it to be subtle enough that he doesn't know it's me, but it still drives him insane,
You don't.
>>17300750
Not going to work. He's got watly more practice than you, and even he couldn't keep you from knowing it was him.
>>17300750
By becoming better despite his shit
What am I doing wrong? I just seem to fail with every girl I'm into
>Girl 1: High school, See that she's one of those quiet types,might possibly be shy,but ultimately seems more social than I was. Thought she probably hasn't went on many dates, or ever been asked out. She somehow keeps, "forgetting" that I asked her out.
>Girl 2: High school. Shes a cheerleader, one of those really popular girl types for lack of better description. Flirted with her as a joke, not expecting much wasn't expecting to get anywhere. Hear that she thinks i'm cute, and that she would probably have gone out with me if she wasnt already dating someone.
The rest are my College encounters
>Girl 3: Meet girl at orientation. We have the same class together. Become good friends with her,hung out with her almost everyday after class. Asked her out a few months later after meeting her. Tells me she would rather stay friends. We still are good friends now, but now shes currently dating my other friend. I don't really feel any attraction towards her anymore.
>Girl 4: Meet her at the bus stop,that goes back to our dorm. Strike up a conversation with her, She's keeps smiling at all my shitty jokes. Ask for her number,before we leave, and she gives it to me. Call her up and no answer. Tried it again a different day, still no answer. Never talk to her again. She still waves and smiles at me when we pass each other.
>Girl 5: Find out this other girl I was interested in is part of my new group of friends. Find out shes an insanely huge weeb, More than I could ever be. Even studied in Japan a few times. A lot more responsible than I am, and she lives off campus,alone. Might actually be a workaholic. Apparently doesn't think much about 3D guys, only cares for her husbandos. Rejected me because she was too busy for a relationship. Find out later she might be asexual. I find out asexuality is actually a thing.
Am I doing something wrong here?
Cont.
>>17300693
Simple, you care too much. Just let shit happen naturally instead of feeling bad that other people are living their lives. Live your own as well and everything will fall into place.
The last one is funny though, Asexual? That's conman speak for "Not into your body, but maybe your wallet."
>>17300693
Okay maybe there is no Cont. Just thought i should point this out incase yore waiting for more.
But over the course of this time period, I've changed quite a bit, some good some bad. I've actually became a hell of a lot more social than I was in high school. But I just cant figure out where I'm going wrong.
Theres this girl I'm really into right now, and i'm almost certain i'm going to fuck it up.
Tl;dr
2 weeks sober here and it's getting harder everyday. Depression seems to be getting worse, like a lot worse. Before I was just drunk and gloomy, now I'm sober and suicidal.
Any /adv/ice?
One drink won't hurt.
Keep going forward. Don't hide your problems with alcohol, face them instead.
workout, eat better, find something to do and stop drinking.
Busy beats sad. Tell yourself it'll get better.
read the book "feeling good" david burns. Go search the pdf or w/e.
Get therapy if you can. Switch therapists if it sucks.
Is trying to get with someone at work a bad idea? I just started a new job about 2 weeks ago and there is this ridic cute redhead that works there. We catch eyes ocasionally and smile and we've joked around with each other. I don't that much about her because I'm usually too busy working but she seems aiite.
I know i need to pull the trigger before any interest/tension wanes but im hesitant to start something because what if it goes wrong? I really like working there, and although I feel I could handle any fallout, I don't want anything to get awkward.
I'm not really worried about her saying no to me asking her out, there are girls everywhere. Just curious as to your guys' opinion about dating in the workplace. Pic related, should I pull the trigger?
>>17300561
>Just curious as to your guys' opinion about dating in the workplace.
If the job is not important to you and it wouldn't affect your life if you lost it, go for it.
If you need this job in any way, keep your dick in your pants and be professional.
Dating someone at work is generally a bad idea.
If it's a large company and you work in different depts and don't really see each other, it might work.
Think of it this way, if things go south, one of you will probably need to quit.
>>17300595
This. It's a better chance of something happening, so don't shit where you eat. Unless you're OK with working around someone you no longer have good vibes with, and most people are not.
Is cosplaying, trying to roleplay as shared otps too cringey?
>>17300536
Nah sounds fun. I wouldn't tell anyone about it though.
Privately, no.
Publicly, yes.
>>17300547
I wouldn't either, of course
Are you a boy or a girl, anon?
I am a girl and it's hard to imagine guys can put up with it.
What should i do if i quite possibly have ptsd and have no money to afford therapy to get clinical help and a proper diagnosis
Avoid what causes it?
Where are you located, OP?
>>17300512
I would save enough to have proper diagnosis before you try to treat something you THINK you have.
>Start talking to girl
>Text all day every day for 2 weeks
>Constantly entertaining each other
>Develop crush
>Think she might have a crush on me too
>Decide to go for it and ask her out
>Don't actually use the word "date"
>She says yes
>Going to eat dinner then go to animal shelter
>Pick her up and take her to restraint
>She starts talking about the due she fucked last night
>MFW
Is there any hope at this point and if there is should I even pursue it?
Ask her if she knows any cute boys faggot
>>17300490
She's either clinically retarded or a complete bitch. Or both. Likely a combo of both. What she did was wildly inappropriate, even if you were just her friend. She shouldn't be that chummy about her sex life 2 weeks into knowing ANYONE, friend or potential partner.
Time to bail, OP. She's fucking gross.
>>17300497
She thought I was gay in highschool
>>17300499
I honestly feel so disgusted/disappointed. I just don't want to feel even worse about it that I didn't do anything else later on.
Is it weird to not like women? Not in a homosexual way, but I just don't like them as people. I don't care about anything they have to say. I don't find them funny. I don't enjoy being around them. I still want to fuck them though. How do I explain this?
>>17300439
Women are fucking dumb
More news at 11
People are afraid to admit this even anonymously.
This thread is bait for white knight shitposting.
either gender will find 95% of the other gender pretty unappealing to say it nicely.
When i was young and antisocial I never had a good conversation with a girl and at some point just stopped because they were of no interest for me. But in college things changed and i got along with them better, found some girls who are chill and friendly and then I found my first GF and other chicks that are nice to talk to.
Has anyone here completely changed their career? Got sick of being an office wagecuck and decided to get out and do something different? What were you doing before, and what are you doing now?
>>17300423
I went to school for something unrelated to what I'm currently doing.
I succesfully switched from having a career to having no career.
Pls respond
picture of my ex came up on my facebook with her new boyfriend. Breakup was bad, everyone took my side, and it was 3 years ago, but it put me in a sad mood. also have been having dreams about her and I dont like having them.
I'm always teetering on depression, was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression about 4 years ago and put on lexapro. it worked but the side effects were worse than the depression, and I found that weightlifting and better diet helped almost as much, but i still have this aimless feeling about life.
I know there isnt an easy answer, but does anyone have any tricks or advice for someone who seems to be perpetually in a slump at best, or full on depressed at worst?
>>17300372
I wish I knew, but honestly I just went through 8 years of depression without knowing what the fuck I was doing and now I feel okay.
>>17300376
looking back I've had pretty bad depression for most of my life and I just didnt realize that it wasnt a normal amount, and I had irrational anxiety over things as far back as being like a 4 or 5 year old.
college made things a lot worse though.
Ok, so I dont want to be a leech, so I'll post things that ive found helpful in situation like this (while simultaneously bumping my own thread)
Working out. not running as I hate cardio, but lifting weights for at least an hour, even up to 3 hrs a day have immense effects on my mood for the rest of the day. I had been told that side effects of working out are better mood and neurotransmitters and stuff, but i never really wanted to do it, until I started doing it. after almost 3 years its become a regular part of my life. I do see a significant change in my overall mood - no longer severely depressed, wanting to get hit by a car, just waiting to die all the time. Also its fun to try new things and see how your body reacts like exercises and dietary restrictions. Also went from 196 and like 30% bodyfat to 186 and 12-15%, which is a substantial difference in body comp, and I feel healthier physically speaking, no upset stomach, chronic back pain, or migraine headaches.
Vitamin B has noticeable fast acting effects, but I have to take it in large doses. usually whats in a 5hr energy is 12,000 and 8,000 percent B12 and B6 for the day and that helps me.
Walking is good for general calmness. I walk or try to walk to class (when I was in school), school, gym, and store for small things. I was at a time walking between 7 and 10 miles a day.
During that time I started listening to podcasts a lot. good distraction and more intellectually stimulating than music. I listen to Joe Rogan, Your Moms House, Radiolab, Dr. Rhonda Patrick, Planet Money (great way to learn about the economy in short, relevant bits), Snap Judgement, and Wait, Wait, Dont Tell Me
I briefly had a job writing computer code for a USDA lab, and one summer by boss pulled me off the computer to pick blueberries with some of the other people in the lab. It was the best job Ive ever had. A lot can be said about working outside and with other people. look in to it for the experience.
Where do I find comfy 28-40 year old females?
Not Craigslist shut-in types but like the well adjusted and interesting to talk to kind that give me faith in the female gender?
Also how do I impress them enough to date as a 21 yo student?
Btw for anyone who wants to make fun or post buzzwords, this isn't a physical fetish or anything, I think I just found a genre that hits most of my criteria.
>not social media obsessed
>not crippilingly anxious
>doesn't project anxiety
>interesting experiences and personality
>can laugh at self
>up for most activities if the company is good
>a calmer counterweight to youthful paranoia and self destruction rather than doubling the amount in the relationship
I could go on.
Anyone have any experience with this?
>>17300365
Your mum
>>17300378
I was thinking more like yours m8.
But seriously.
I'd like at least one serious reply.
Just called a law firm, said they charge $1000 to take my case, the attorney said to hire an attorney relatively soon to get the paperwork filled out before the next arraignment, then hung up. Should I even bother with this shit or just take the $200 littering ticket and get it taken off my record later? It's in MO and I believe it's a misdemeanor. No doubt the case would get dropped right off the bat if I hire a lawyer.
>>17300358
Well, did you litter?
1000 vs 200
HMM
>>17300398
OP isn't sure if it's a felony. A felony sticks on your record and is generally something you'd want to avoid.
