Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2236. page
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Almost 4 months ago i was in a car accident and became 'disabled', I've been having a really hard time accepting this as my new reality. I come looking for advice on how to deal with being so different and any advice on adapting to having to do things differently. I hate being in public or around people because my disability is not easy to hide and I still have to depend on those around me for a lot of things.
Any advice is appreciated. In return, I will answer any questions that I can answer about being disabled.
Pic semi-related- I lost both arms, my right being pretty much same as the picture and my left being a little bit shorter.
>>16449462
Shit, idk.
Epictetus was born a slave and beaten so savagely that his leg broke and it was not allowed to heal, making him crippled for life. He still went on to be a beloved and renowned philosopher of stoicism, preaching about how events beyond our control had no bearing on us as people, as long as we can rightly examine ourselves through reason.
I have no personal advice though.
>>16449462
How do you post on 4chan without any arms?
>>16449502
somettimes i use my feet for typing or a pencil and my mouth. i use my feet for the mouse stuff
What was the main reason that has led to your breakup/s?
I'm asking because i just met somebody truly awesome and i really don't want to fuck it up this time, so any pointers to what can ruin a relationship would be apprecciated.
>>16449455
getting too comfortable.
I was with a dude who made a bunch of promises he didn't intend to keep. Worked 100% at the beginning and as time went on and he became more secure with the idea that we'd be together (forever? I guess? in his mind) he decided that those things weren't necessary any more. So when I would call him out on it, he'd make those promises again (communication, spending time together, work habits) and then keep them up for about 2 weeks and then stop doing them again.
don't say you're capable of something you're not. If your partner asks if you can do some thing (like keep in contact when doing xyz), you either say "yes, I can do that for you" and do it, or don't promise it at all. Don't say "yes I'll do that" and then make excuses why you don't do it consistently down the road
>>16449482
Ok, i can definitely see the problem here and will keep it in mind. Thanks anon!
>>16449455
- constant contact
- passive aggressiveness
- finding pics of random dudes she was talking to on snapchat
FEMALES: Do you mind if your partner saves porn on his computer?
MALES: Why do we feel compelled to save porn when we're in a relationship?
>On one end of the spectrum, I can understand that I should be respectful of my partner and women in general. On the other end, I'm very visually stimulated, and masturbation is sort of a "meditative" practice in my daily routine.
>Is it wrong for me to save images and passively fantasize about women I don't care about? Is it wrong for my partner to get jealous and try to act upon her insecurities by asking me not to look at porn?
When is porn problematic? How is that any different than her reading vampire novels or watching TV series geared towards romance with a big, masculine protagonist?
It all depends on personalities. I have to go now.
>>16449451
The same could be said for most of /adv/'s questions. But you're right!
>>16449442
femanon here
I don't care if a dude watches porn as long as it doesn't affect his abilities in bed, which has been an issue in the past for me.
Saving porn is kind of weird for me. It seems obsessive. If one person had a hundred pictures of one celebrity you'd think they were obsessed. Having a hundred naked women, even if they're all different, still signals a fixation and is a glaring red flag to me.
>used to be a good looking fuck
>had bitches, friends and confidence
>could take a selfie and feel good about it
Now overweight, ugly and halfway through 34. How do I deal with it?
>>16449437
Get fit lazy bones.
Also start focusing on your future instead of your past.
>>16449437
you kind of answered your own question, OP.
>become a good looking fuck again by losing weight.
>get bitches, friends and confidence
>take selfie and feel good about it
>>16449437
You must eat poorly or have bad genetics, 34 is too young to start losing your looks. It might be your self esteem, not your outside.
I'm the girl the other day who made a thread about her boyfriend peeing in the bottle in the middle of the night and leaving it on the floor under the bed while I was asleep next to him. Well, I brought it up to him and he said it was just laziness. I just said okay, and asked him to at least throw it away next time and not leave it there.
This happened again last night. He woke up and sat up. I heard him peeing in the bottle, so I turned over with my eyes barely open when he was done.
And then he drank his own piss out of the bottle.
I have not kissed him since or let him knew that I know. If he had just pissed and threw it away, or even left it there, I would have let it pass. But he fucking drank his piss. What the fuck?
I don't even know what to do or say to him. How do I bring this up without it being awkward as fuck?
Tldr;
> bf peed in bottle and had left it on floor
> said he wouldn't do it again or throw away bottle
>he does it again
>and then drinks his piss
> what the fuck and what do I do?
Lol you sure it was his pissed?
Tommorow night he is going to make you drink it
>>16449428
Yes, I'm positive. It was the only container or bottle that he had at all, so its not like he just picked up a different one.
He pissed in the bottle and then drank out of the same one.
Hi,
Femon here today at work I had something odd happen to me. I work as a cleaner but I dress like the lady on the far left to be professional only I wear yoga pants that do not look like yoga pants because I have crohns and can not wear anything that restricts my stomach. There was a meeting this morning and someone ratted me out saying I wore yoga pants the boss got a girl to go up to me and yell at me saying I am not allowed to wear those at all and then when she was done yelling at me she called my boss over saying she told me and he told me to go away so they could talk. The odd thing is I have been wearing pants like these for three months and no one has said anything to me until now. I explained that I had a medical condition and I can not wear jeans or tight pants because I would not be able to do my job then which is most important to me.
Now the thing that bothers me is that almost every female employee was wearing lagging and yoga pants I asked some and they told me they did not get in trouble for it.
What should I do?
The two pictures on the right is how the women dress at my work.
>>16449355
Nice dubs. Also fuck off slut
>>16449360
That is not nice Anon.
>>16449355
You probably look trashy in them and the other girls don't.
I'm constantly unfocused because I'm angry about someone or something.
I don't know how to stop it.
Any advice?
Just don't talk to fags
Find the source and eliminate it.
Try talking to a professional.
>>16449294
anytime anything remotely angering happens, walk away. if its something you can't walk away from, recostruct your life so you are able to cut those things out.
if its 'customers' get out of the service industry and focus on something else.
anywho, whenever one of the unavoidable situations happen, just go away, listen to a calming song, and never ever ever ever ever engage.
if you teach your brain not to acknowledge these things that make you angry, it becomes an automatic pattern. it will become second nature.
i recently had an experience on a bus where a really hot hippie dippie type, not well shaven, not well taken care of, smelled like pot, read pretentious philosophy book while wearing a stupid headband and I kinda hit it off.
and i now realize this is my fetish. pic related is the type of headband, but this guy is way too er... clean? i guess.
point is im not even sure what look im describing, is there a word for it? im google searching like "hippie headband guy" and stuff like that but nothigns coming up.
so exactly what 'scene' is this? where can I go to find more guys like this? just the 'i dont care, i just want to smoke all day' kinda pretneding to be spiritually enlightened types?
I manage an office and dress the part even when im not at work, but would love some messy dude to hang with. what kind of music event am i gonna have to sit through for this? help me out? help me define this?
>>16449272
i think this picture is a little closer to what im looking for. the more hippie and pretentious the better i guess.
>>16449272
>smells like pot
>not very clean, or well shaven
>hippie type
There you go. But one location where there'd be tons of these types is beachy areas like the californian coast, or neat beach areas of europe. Beach bums and surfer dudes are like this, but probably arent as inclined to read philosophy
>>16449292
I live in los angeles so it wouldnt be hard to go out to the beaches some weekends and see what happens. i remember somehow ending up in some hippie drum circle one night.
are they still called hippies though? is that like a group? like what do these types of guys identify as?
Sup /adv/ can someone give me a definitive answer? Like i always knew It was an unhealthy obsession before but now its gotten to the point where i have passed up sex (as a virgin) for the sole reason that not so much I'm small (or maybe i am fuck the internet is useless when it comes to dick size) but all woman rlly do want 7+ inch dicks, none one wants average, and its natural for everyone to want at least slightly better then average in not just partners size but everything in life.
Also Its a stupid question i know but so far out of most of the pictures iv had to suffer through in /soc/ and the rest of the web most of the dicks rlly are 7+ and I'm starting to consider the study's are wildly inaccurate or made as a condolence to smaller guys.
I don't know i find it hard to phrase what Im trying to convey but it boils down to what penis size to girls consider to be meh and at what point do they start appreciating. Im close to paying a prostitute just to honestly tell me if im slightly small, average and boring or slightly big.
You and me OP.
Once I admitted I was bi I thought things would be different but that made things even worse.
Then I started hearing stories about how even straight guys experiment with bi/gay guys with big dicks.
Life is hell OP. Life is hell.
unless you stop worrying about this, and start fucking women, this will lead to you not ever fucking any women.
continue? y / n
i dont know OP
but i can tell you this:
I am 5 inches and have had some mind blowing sex with girls in the past. slept with 10 or so girls? so yeah, size doesnt really matter
I just went to the hospital and of course I get helped me the female doctor, should I have asked her out? She was very Milfy.
>>16449185
Sure why not?
Don't bother. Almost all female doctors are married.
>>16449351
And the ones not married are getting doctor dick.
Are Ou a doctor? No, then don't waste their time.
I had $1500 macaw who is about 7 years old. great personality, super friendly, and very silly. she was practically my baby and she was expected to live another 20 years.
Yesterday I came down stairs and my brother had the backyard door wide open. i asked him to close it since she can fly, and he started to get mad at me. so I said "you have no place to complain. you're the reason we lost two of our cats" (it was for the same reason.) that tipped him over the edge though, and I came down this morning with my macaw on the ground with a broken neck!
I want to get him thrown in jail, but my parents are saying I shouldn't. I'm so frustrated! I just don't know what to do!
>>16449163
Send him to the shrink if he breaks your pet's neck over that shit.
and yes the signs were very obvious that he did it. he even kind of laughed when I confronted him about it. all triumphant.
I'd beat the shit out of him with a bat but that's just how it is where I live
What general skills are extremely valuable in life?
It really depends on your environment. The ability to create things tends to be up there. Stuff like carpentry, cooking, etc. Crafted products generally carry more value than straight labor.
Time management
The ability to budget
Being able to cook and clean
Able to dress decently
Research skills
Good communication skills, in writing, in person and over the phone
Time management
Discipline
Charisma + good communication
Learning from past mistakes
Constant personal growth
Research skills
Humility
Guys I am fucking terrified please help.
I want to start by saying that I have never had a problem getting a boner. Usually just sitting by a girl or thinking about sex can get me up and ready. And masturbating I can get myself hard in less than a minute.
Well Saturday night a girl came over and after a while of watching TV we decided to have sex. I had a 6 pack of beer so I had a little trouble getting hard but eventually got there. We fucked for like 30 minutes and even though it was really good and she was really into it, I could not cum. I thought it was probably normal because of the beer and so did she. We stopped and laid there for a while but my dick was still hard. After about an hour she asked if she could ride me so she did and she got herself off but I still couldn't cum. Even after that I still had the erection but for some reason didn't think anything of it at the time. I must have had it for 3-4 hours. Maybe more.
So then the next morning we were on the couch and she started kissing me and biting my neck but nothing. I thought it was maybe because I didn't sleep well and was slightly hungover.
But now it's 2 days later since we had sex and I still can't get myself hard even masturbating.... Is it possible that that long erection has permanently damaged me? I know I should go to the doctor but I live in the US and am not in a good place financially for a doctor's visit. I'm also terrified to hear that I could be permanently impotent
What is going on????
>>16449041
>What is going on????
Give it a few more days and try again. It's possible that you're desensitized as well.
>>16449080
But how could this desensitization happen overnight?
>>16449041
This basically happened to me and I'm now 100% impotent. Shit sucks.
>Want to join the military
>Can't pee in front of people
>FML
My goal is to do the minimum years of military service, then pursue a career as a police officer. Problem is I can't pee in front of people, and I know you pretty much get zero privacy for military drug testing. I can't really remember when this stupid problem developed, but I'd like to get rid of it. Any ideas?
Just FYI, I usually go stand in a stall when using public restrooms.
>>16449029
>>16449029
just pull your pants all the way down it'll be fine
>Visualization, think of rivers and waterfalls and the touch of aquariums.
>Tell yourself stuff like 'I am alone, I am free, there's nobody here, everything flows, it's already over, I am relaxed."
>Relax your shoulders.
>Deep breathing exercises.
>Smile
Go, go, go!
>>16449051
i have the same problem, I usually think of pinetree needles and the colour green in general
/adv/ my fiancee and I have been having some troubles lately and I want to get some advice on what I should say/do to resolve some things and make her realize that it's her that's causing problems, not me.
We first starting arguing about a week ago because while I was on a business trip my ex texted me and I talked to her for about 5 minutes and decided to fuck off because i don't like talking to her.
My fiancee went through my phone (I believe in complete transparency in relationships) and saw that I texted her and she got really upset that I didn't mention it to her that I talked to my ex. I told her that she had nothing to worry about and the reason I didn't tell her was because I completely forgot about texting my ex back because that conversation was meaningless to me.
More recently she got pissed at me because while she was cleaning the kitchen, extensively might I add, she asked if I wanted dinner. I said yes. She continued to clean while she heated some food up for me, she placed a plate of food down on the table in front of me and I started eating because once she placed the food down she went right back to cleaning. She got mad at me because, "I didn't wait for her to eat like we always do", like how was I supposed to know you were going to eat with me when you went right back to fucking cleaning the kitchen after putting food on the table?!
Later that night, after we resovled the whole dinner thing, at 9pm I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie. I asked her then because I have to wake up for work at 5am and staying up past 11pm is terrible for me at work. She said yes but wanted to shower first
We showered and everything and by that time is was 10:15pm and she still wanted to watch a movie and I put a movie on but started to fall asleep around 11pm. Yet again she got pissy with me and said forget it just go to sleep. I asked her what was up for about 2 minutes and she ignored me so I left it alone. Now i'm fucking mad, the fuck did I do?
A little more info about the movie thing, earlier that evening when I came home from work she was tired and wanted to take a nap so I let her. I came home at 4:30 and she slept till 6:30... I wasn't mad but she loses her fucking mind when I fall asleep later than usual because I tried spending time with her.
I don't fucking get women
OK, I see how the thing about texting your ex was kind of silly. I wouldn't flip out unless I thought my boyfriend was flirting. Other than that I don't really care if she texted him first. So I'm not really sure why she flipped. Maybe try to delete the messages next time, or block your ex. Or even change the contact name to 'delete'. The dinner thing, I can sort of understand why she got upset. She was cleaning, then made you food, and got upset that you didn't wait. I think I'd be a little upset about that because dinner is one of the only times I can sit down with my boyfriend. So next time, just wait. However, I don't know why she got pissed that you dozed off. She should understand that not only did you wake up at 5am to work, but she took a nap when you attempted to spend time with her. You need to explain to her that you work long hours and need sleep.
>>16449021
She sounds a little nuts.
