Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2231. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2231. page
I'm not sure if this is the best board for this question, but everything I've googled is inconsistent, and I can't afford to go to the dr right now.
>menstrual period is really late this month
>fiance and I always used protection
>when I ask if one of the condoms might have broken, he comes clean to me
>one night, after I'd had a bit too much to drink and passed out, he fucked me without protection
>he guesstimates that this was ~4-6 weeks ago, maybe longer
I thought I started my period last night, but it's weird. It's not like a normal period. No cramps, I had no pms, and it's really thin blood. Still bleeding today, but not much. Every pregnancy test I've taken has been negative.
...so, what the fuck's going on?
>>16452246
That sounds like the symptoms of early stage ovarian cancer
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovarian_cancer
>>16452246
ok first of all, your fiance is a fucking creep and he pretty much raped you.
if the pregnancy tests are coming out negative then you're probably fine, if you're really worried about it, go to a doctor.
but holy shit your fiance is a whole other story. my suggestion is to bail and never look back
>>16452256
>le drunk sex is rape
Nice meme
Dating a black girl but a few problems
My sister told me that dating one is pathetic and only guys who are desperate do it. One of my friends also made fun of me for it. Basically should I break off? Will I be looked on in society as that guy who couldn't get anything but a black girl?
>>16452210
if you're a racist you probably shouldn't be dating someone who is black, just so you know
I can't tell if this is bait or not, but in case you are serious.
No anon, love who you love, society is wrong not you. Unless you started dating this girl purely because you felt desperate and didn't actually have any feelings for her then you should break it off and find someone you like. It doesn't matter who that person is, what race, gender or anything else, it only matters that you are happy with them and them mutually so.
>>16452210
If you don't like black people, don't date them. If you break up with someone because of your racist friends, that's shitty.
Day 11 of NoFap.
Benefits so far:
none
Cons so far:
cold sweat, aching, hyperventilation, headache.
Should I stick it out?
>>16452183
HAHAHAHAHAH SORRY BUT I DIED LAUGHING
why exactly do you want to stop fapping? What is your current situation on a day to day basis?
>>16452201
I have no job. No gf. I whack it about three times a day. Slowly slipping into neckbeard territory.
I'm sorry, this will be long.
So I live with my boyfriend and we've been together over a year. We're in a committed relationship. He's always been very touchy about his phone and computer and tablet, not wanting me to ever touch them. He has said before if I tell him what I want them for he'll let me see it, but last night I went to play a game on his tablet and he snatched it away from me. Literally snatched it, like I was 5.
He can go through my things any time he wants because I have nothing to hide. That's always how it's been, since we got serious. He's done this five different times now, and two of the times he refused giving me some of his family's phone numbers when I was heavily involved with some things going on and could possibly need them.
He also has told me he has a porn addiction he's dealing with. It doesn't make me mad or anything, to be honest I respect that he feels guilty and wants to change that but if it wasn't an issue in our relationship I wouldn't see the harm in watching porn.
>>16452170
But him being this protective seems kind of sketchy, doesn't it? I'm a strong believer that if I need to find something out I will without digging around. He leaves his phone unlocked around me sometimes and I never look through it because I'm not a digger.
My point with this is I told him I think it's wrong of him to give me no right with his things, especially since we live together and he has access to my things without issue. It's a trust and respect thing to me. He absolutely disagrees, which is an issue to me.
I'm trying to gather others' views on this matter. I'm not asking to go through his things whenever I want, but I do expect to be able to use his things if I want to like he can do with mine. Other couples I've talked to about this seem to side with me, in that he's acting like he's single and won't even try to talk with me about it. They also add they have no need to keep electronics or anything else from each other, because no one in the relationship has anything to hide and they know the other doesn't obsessively go through their things.
>>16452175
So what do you guys think? I'm not an oppressive person, I'm actually pretty easy going. But this is worrying to me, and I don't think I'm unreasonable in my opinion. I'm more than willing to work to some middle ground, because 98% of a relationship is compromise and you can't avoid that, but he doesn't want to talk at all. I'm not sure what to do here.
>>16452188
He sounds kind of unbearable. You can maintain your privacy in a relationship but him snatching his tablet from you is just downright childish and extremely sketchy.
The fact that he can't talk about it either is weird too. If you guys are going to be in a serious relationship you're going to have to learn to talk to each other.
If you're doing all the compromise and he's just reaping the benefits, it's a one sided relationship that's pretty much going to lead to nowhere.
Be honest with him OP. If he can't compromise on such a trivial matter then maybe he isn't the person you should be with.
Month after breakup because of long distance/her losing feelings... worried im going to break within a few weeks or month or two and message her again telling her i miss her.
I dont know if we should get back together but i DO miss her.
Is it ok to do this? Am i just being pathetic and need to drop her memory out of my life?
Just one bump...sorry I know I was vague... will probably just post again in a couple weeks but still, this is consuming my mind ;\
>>16452164
I don't know your relations anon, but breaking is understandable. Consider the possible outcomes though, best case you two talk a little and get reminded about why it was a good idea in the first place to break up. Next best she feels the same and you get back together, is this a good idea? You have to answer that yourself. Worst outcome she gets annoyed and angry at you. Which might leave you with some more closure, but also make you feel bad.
It's ok to break, everybody has these feelings, but think about the greater good.
>>16452164
You will not stop feeling bad until you finally break it off/get back together. These lingering thoughts will remain with you. There are times in your life where you are faced with hard decisions mate and this is one of those times.
Quit pulling her along, give her a solid answer. Give yourself a day to really think of what YOU want, in the end thats all that matters. It will hurt not doubt, but you will get over it along with she.
Missing someone is completely normal, it means you had a connection. But you have to stop being so damn indecisive and make up your mind or it will end much more horribly.
>senior year of highschool
>wanna get the best grades i can since last year
>can't focus for shit or procrastinate to the last minute
>>16452159
>Highschool
Fuck off.
Your life depends on it, so fucking do it and don't be a piece of shit like me
If you half-ass this shit it's going to be a foundation for insecurity and self doubt for the rest of you life.
So instead of doing that, make sure you give it your all and then you're going to be able to look back at this time with pride and feel like it meant something, that you did your best.
You're always gonna get a job if you don't fail completely, but for your own sake, don't waste your oportunities, or you're gonna end up with a regret and "what if?".
I always wanted to have 2 kids and have a family but i just found i'm infertile. my whole life i dreamed of leaving behind my shit ass life an make a new one, make a family. now the dream is down the flush. why shouln't i kill myself?
Because most kids fucking suck and more than likely you wouldn't have a perfect angel of a child like mine.
Why not adopt? You can still raise kids and have a family, just as you've dreamed of. The actual childbirth part, not so much, but is that worth mourning?
>>16452099
It's different. I'd rather die alone than raise the child of someone else.
I've been dating this girl for over 2 years and I'm worried I may have officially ruined it. She's a med student and always looking out for my health and one thing she has a problem with is my drinking. I always thought I had it under control but looking back I never did. There have been countless times that I've ruined our night by drinking too much and puking or just passing out.
Last weekend I really fucked up. I wanted her to come with me to a happy hour but she didn't want to go. I told her I'd meet her after. Next thing I know I'm drunk as hell. I blacked out and woke up on the subway puking with my phone dead.
I left the bar at 9 and didn't get home until 230. I had calles her and told her to meet me and I never showed up. This isn't the first time I've ruined her nighy by my drinking and she doesn't even want to talk to me. I'm worried this is it and that she is going to give up on me. What do I do? I want to stop drinking all together but as a 23 yr old that's pretty tough to do.
Bump,
Tldr, I'm afraid my girlfriend is fed up with my drinking and she doesn't want to be with me
>>16452056
Not a mind reader
Shut down the device you're on, and go ask her
> I want to stop drinking all together but as a 23 yr old that's pretty tough to do.
It really isn't though. Just don't put you yourself in a situation where you may binge drink. Or just have some damn self control. If you really care about her, you would slow down on the drinking
Hey I don't know if anyone remembers but i was the OP of >>16438339
Well I went back and talked to the girl and I don't know what I was expecting but it went pretty much like you guys said. When I first texted her she responded she would like to because I would "really benefit from the news she had" this of course made me think I was about to be accused if rape but none the less I went.
So I went terrified and she came outside alone and we sat on a bench, I don't have a word for word recolection of what she said but it went something like this. She started by saying I should be greatful because she wasn't accusing me of rape when a lot of other girls probably would (i think she just realised she wouldn't win in a court of law), and that even if I want to rationalize it because she gave consent she still believes it was rape.
Anyway She informed me that when I had sex with her it was entirely about me showing that I had control over her, that it was about me degrading her as a woman. Im misogynistic and she feels sorry for any girl that has been with me because I probably raped them too. She thinks I'm a sexual predator and remind her of the type who would drug a girls drink. She told me I was too immature for sex, too immature for relationships and too immature for love. She doesn't know whether I'll ever find this but I certinely don't deserve it.
She told me that because of me she needs to go back to therapy, and she had to call her mom to tell her she's been sexually insulted again. Therapy is expensive too and tough to afford. But the worst thing I did was when she first asked me leave I slowly put my clothes on and didn't instantly just out of her room. This shows that i all I was in that situation was feel embarrassed and that I felt no remorse (really I was simply super confused on what she was freaking out about). She believes I might be incapable of feeling remorse.
She told me I made her bed smell horrible (i had showered and soaped my entire body before) and that she had to buy new sheets. She was also unable to sleep in her own bed for two whole days. She may have PTSD. When I came back into her room she was terrified and since i stood between her and the door she thought that I was going to force myself on her.
She doesn't know whether she'll ever stop hating me but honestly she doesn't care. I said ok to all of this. Showed her I was deleting her number from my phone and left.
Well I don't know how to feel she seems to have demonized me as something she can throw everything she thinks is wrong with the male gender at. I didn't realize this is how rape victims think, or that this girl has this many problems. She doesn't know me well and simply started to proclaim all this slanderous untrue stuff. So honestly I've stopped feeling bad about it, if this is the way she thinks and acts then it's for the best she's back in therapy.
I know this is kinda bloggy even for /adv/ but if I can give one thing I learned from this: DONT STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY
You quite possibly banged one of the most fucked up chicks I ever met.
ok i know this is a terrible place to ask for advice consdering youre all autistsbut i know there are some normal people in here aswell
does she like me?
she responds to my texts the second she reads them
she texts me first 50% of the time and we end up texting for like 2-3 hours most of the time
we text every day (mostly in the evening)
on monday she asked me if i wanted to do something on wednesday (today), we went for a walk in nature
she seemed pretty happy, laughed at even my unfunny jokes etc
the problem is that it seems to me she doesnt have a lot of time. im not sure if she just uses excuses all the time or if shes actually busy (i know that she has a lotta things to do but come on, nobody has THAT many things to do)
TL:DR SHE SEEMS TO LIKE ME BUT IM NOT SURE BECAUSE IM TERRIBLE AT READING THAT SHIT SO I DECIDED I NEED ADVICE FROM INTERNET STRANGERS WHO ARE PROBABLY EVEN WORSE AT THAT SHIT THAN ME
pic not really related
You're calling us autists when you're the one posting something like this? Fuck off.
>>16451916
>>16451916
u wanna fite about it or what
im not calling you autist but lets be real 4chan is full of losers, hard to find "normies"
pls answer
Generally for guys these day is it normal to be fully shaven down there or what?
Yeah, but it's half and half with its social stigma.
Full shave = hygenic and looked after
No shave = hairier but more manly
The above are what people legitimately believe.
As far as I know, general consensus:
>bald
Weird and oddly childlike, but some girls do prefer it because, well, pubes get in the way
>trimmed
Most girls prefer this, as it is a nice middle ground
>bush
An equally small amount prefer this as bald, because pubes get in the way of blowjobs and look unkempt
trimming/shaving was started by dicklets and pornography so that they can pretend their penis is bigger
no woman actually cares at all
So, dear /adv/
Have you ever being in a situation where, in a relationship, you realized that your feelings for the other are dying (or already dead) while the other is still holding them towards you?
How do you deal with it regarding yourself?
inb4 the obvious: "you break-up in the cleanest way possible, the other will get over it".
The question here is: how do you know for sure that your feelings are not just down? Why would you risk breaking with someone who loves you when you are not sure of what you feel?
How do you deal with the internal conflict between feeling guilty of turning down someone who loves you VS how annoying it is to have someone who loves you around you when you don't feel the same?
Help me /adv/, plz
>>16451788
so this is pretty much every relationship as it winds down.
Unfortunately there is no easy way around it.
You will feel guilty, mainly because you are not a sociopath.
But remember OP, the person that loves you wants to be loved in return. If you can not provide that, then you are really doing them no favors.
That said, there is no reason to rush into anything. Maybe try spending more time apart and making the time you are together a little more special. See how that goes.
May I ask:
How old are you?
How long have you been dating?
Do you live together?
If so, for how long?
>>16451805
>How old are you?
>How long have you been dating?
>Do you live together?
>If so, for how long?
34yo
1 1/2 years
Yes
for 1 year
>>16451813
How old if your partner and does she want children?
Actual advice, dump it
>>16451722
>Don't act as a doormat
>But always act as a chivalrous knight
I will never understand women.
![tumblr_nn12zjLj6G1utt9mwo1_500[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/giDNEZ0.png "tumblr nn12zjLj6G1utt9mwo1 500[1]")
Why is it so hard to date your best friend? People fall in love with their friends left and right, for obvious reasons aswell. More often than not the reason it doesn't work out is "I can't date him/her, he/she's my best friend".
For people already in relationships, why is it so hard to treat each other like friends do? I find a lot of couples playing the dating and attraction game for years, constantly seeking validation and approval. Doesn't it get tiresome?
When platonic friends are mistaken for a couple by strangers, why is the response "we're just friends"? Why just? Isn't friendship, at least for very close or "best" friends, a lot more than what 90% of relationships are?
The bond and trust between me and my close friends is stronger than that of any couple I've met. We can insult each other, play pranks on each other, laugh about each other as much as we want, we don't require proof that we're friends, we never question it. Being there for each other feels like the natural way things should be.
Where and how do I find a girl to be both best friends and intimate partners with? Someone to high five after sex? A girl for a relationship that feels natural and doesn't require flowers on valentine's day.
>The bond and trust between me and my close friends is stronger than that of any couple I've met. We can insult each other, play pranks on each other, laugh about each other as much as we want, we don't require proof that we're friends, we never question it. Being there for each other feels like the natural way things should be.
One of the biggest reasons I only date friends and my longest relationshipo was my best friend of several years. It didn't work out, but we realized we just work better as friends so we went right back to it after a few months cooling down period.
I have trust and commitment issues as it is, I simply cannot get into someone unless I spend enough time around them that I know I can lower my guard, so to speak. I've had one night stands but sex for me is pretty carnal so I actually avoid any such things with a girl I might be interested in. Once my mind catalogs her as good to go for sexual thoughts and deviancy, I can't have feelings for her.
Fucking hate dating too, what an awkward and uncomfortable courtship ritual. Pay out the ass and dress up in some monkey suit so you can play a game of emotional poker where you try and win over some girl. It seems absolutely ludicrous to me. Rather befriend the girl and hang out with my friends, go urban exploring, bbqs, swimming, hiking, movie nights and all that. That's how you see the real someone, when they're truly comfortable around you and others. Makes for a longer-lived relationship IMO.
>>16451897
>awkward and uncomfortable courtship ritual
>play a game of emotional poker
Exactly this. Where do I find the girls who are equally tired of this socially constructed bullshit?
>>16452161
I can't tell you, my method (that is, befriending girls and integrating them into my friend-group) has a way of both bypassing that and mostly attracting likeminded individuals. The ones that don't really fit tend to break away eventually.
As should be obvious, I feel at my most comfortable around my friends, so when a new girl is brought I don't feel awkward or anything because they are on my home turf so to speak. This makes me treat them as a friend, like I've known them for a while and I'm naturally very playful and a jokester, so it tends to disarm them.
The best thing to keep in mind is that you interact with them as if you want to make a proper friend, not hook up with them. Proper friends you joke with, playfully insult them, give them a good ribbing when they say or do something stupid, laugh at them, get serious when they need advice and all that. From my experience and if done correctly, they don't see you as an emotional pincushion. That only happens when you serve them hand and foot.
>been dating gf for a couple of weeks now
>early on she joked/talked about how she undressss in front of her deeply friendzoned guy friend
>when we started dating she said she'd stop because she's all mine now
>she lives with her ex bf's family (he's out of state) because rent is cheap
>last night she mentioned that she used to or still does undress in front of ex bf
>said that she still loves him but like a brother
How do I communicate to her that this isn't ok? Should I just flip things around and ask her how it would make her feel if I were undressing in front of my ex gf? Is this the sort of thing you would break up with a girl over if she didn't stop?
She also said that the friendzoned guy looks away when she undresses and that she didn't remember telling me that she'd stop undressing in front of friendzoned guy.
On a different note, it's perfectly reasonable to be concerned/upset about this, right? Just want to make sure I'm not making mountains out of molehills. I get the impression that she's somewhat of an exhibitionist.
Different people have different levels of comfort when it comes to nudity.
I'm a dude, and I'm one of those guys who doesn't ever wear shorts (unless running/swimming), always wears a belt, only wears long sleeve button up shirts, wears undershirts. Essentially there's like none of my skin showing (and I'm in California btw)
But If you've ever seen me naked, IDGAF and will walk around naked around you because you've already seen it.
I've got a female friend who's got the same DGAF view. And with me in particular, I've just stripped her and thrown her in the shower, held/washed puke out of her hair, and nursed her from killer hangovers enough times to where that sense of modesty doesn't really exist between us.
Maybe it's that, maybe it's the exhibition thing, who knows. Just saying, nudity just isn't as big a deal to some people.
You communicate to her that this is not ok by saying "this is not something that is ok in a healthy relationship, and its not somethimg that i should have to tell another adult to stop doing"
Then you walk away and never look back. As someone who is to old to put up with that shit, you dont have time to cater to people like this.
Well ah'll tell u whut, the 'friendzoned' guy is gonna git yer girlfriend preggers, their gonna git married, then yer gonna git her preggers with her next kid, friendzoned guy and her will git divorced, you'll marry her and adopt the first kid, and then her ex-bf will git her preggers with her third kid, and then she gonna find Jesus and divorce you to marry the preacher.
But its all okay, cause you ain't gay!
