Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2121. page
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Is there something wrong with me? I keep doing it with new guys and think it's sort of becoming a fetish. Like I'm taking what's supposed to belong to someone else.
Bump guys wtf. I think I might need therapy.
From a purely objective standpoint, the onus is on the man to keep it in his pants. Who he decides to cheat on his wife with really isn't relevant.
The thing is, most cheaters don't feel bad about what they're doing, and the reason they don't is because they're assuming they won't get caught. It makes sense that you wouldn't feel bad for being a part of it because you don't really have to bear witness to the effect it's going to have on the relationship. I mean, maybe you might have caught wind about the aftermath, but unless you deeply cared about the person you did it with (in which case you wouldn't have indulged their impulse to cheat in the first place), I wouldn't expect you to feel anything.
Sure, you could take a stance that abetting a cheater is no different from abetting any other kind of unsavory deed, but the thing with cheaters is that if you don't indulge them they'll just seek out someone else who will.
What you do need to ask yourself is if you're prepared to deal with consequences should they find you. I'll go ahead and answer that for you: You aren't. You have no idea what kind of vengeful pieces of shit are out there and how far they are willing to go if your affair is exposed and they find out who you are. A repentant husband will not hesitate to sell you out if they think it will save their relationship.
So the short answer to the question "Should I feel bad?" is, at least from me, a pretty cut and dry "no." Again, the more important question is "Should I be doing this?" is an even more resounding "no." You're gambling with your own safety, and even though your odds are good, if this is something you're seeking out, your luck absolutely will run out.
>>16523912
God this thread again.
essentially:
>moving to gf's area soon
>get message from a mutual friend (girl) of me and my girlfriend
>few days later reply to it with more information
>exchange a few messages back and forth, topics were pretty much me moving, the prices of certain foods in the area, and my gf finding an apartment for me
>later on gf's friend tells my gf about the convo
>gf is completely pissed at me for not telling her that exchanged a handful (20-30ish) of messages about boring mundane subjects with a close friend of her's
I can understand from her point of view it might be "he's talking to my friend behind my back", but I really don't see it that way. I just replied to FB messages from a friend, I didn't see any reason to tell my girlfriend about it.
What do you think, /adv/?
Have you ever tried using a mood ring as a butt plug?
>>16520697
You did nothing wrong, she's insecure.
Maybe she thinks her friend can't be trusted? I dunno.
Welcome to girls.
Sounds like you just simply need a chat. Calmly talk to her about it. Show her the messages and tell her about how the messaging started.
Ask her about what she thinks. Ask her why she reacted the way she has. Try to understand where she is coming from. You're more likely to find out she's got the wrong end of the stick and has been wildly misinformed.
Most important thing is to stay calm, even if she doesn't. If she can not talk about this like an adult, do you even want to have a long term relationship with her? Also, if what you're saying is accurate, clearly her friend is a shit-stirring bitch, avoid her like the plague, never speak to her unless essential. She has dicked you over once, don't let her do it again.
![male-and-female-relationship-sign[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/hDlRB5v.jpg "male-and-female-relationship-sign[1]")
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.
>Frog
Also piss off.
For both genders, really.
Do any of you have advice on what good shower gels and shampoos are there to choose from? Why are Axe/Old Spice a bad choice? and finally, what do you do to make your face as smooth as silk?
ill ask here since my thread isded.
If a woman breaks up with you, and she keeps trying to get a hold of you/talks for hours out of the day with your but rejects the idea of getting back together, what does it mean?
>>16520087
It means she thinks you're better friends than lovers.
>>16520084
I'd avoid heavily fragranced ones, and rely on your aftershave/cologne etc. for scent. That way you're not committing to a certain scent for the whole bottle and you can change what you're wearing from day to day and you have the option to go without if you want. Shampoo doesn't really matter, I've found even the cheap generic brand stuff works better than salon products sometimes
>wife said she loves it the most when I cum inside her
I thought women didn't actually feel this? Why do they like it? It looks annoying to clean.
>>16515895
Because that's how babies are made.
>>16515918
I mean in a turn-on kind of way. She doesn't want babies.
>>16515921
That's what I mean. You like to put your benis in her bagina because it feels good. It feels good because your body is saying "yes, this makes babies. Good anon."
Last one reached bump limit...
When I get angry and upset I start breaking things. This time I smashed my cell phone and broke a plant jar. In the past I've destroyed other phones, destroyed my computer chair recently, almost destroyed my computer, and misc other smaller things I can't think of.
I don't know what exactly causes me to be so unstable that this keeps happening. All I can really think of is that I grew up with parents that hardly cared about my emotional well-being (they just saw me as some sort of being that was supposed to do good and school and move out ASAP). There's a cheery, outgoing side to me that can "attract" friends and there's a hard working side that people can appreciate. But I feel like my entire life now is unstable, my relationships with friends and family are always unstable. They all have their busy lives and would probably be better off or just indifferent without me around. I really crave attention and validation and when I don't get it I start to panic a bit, most of the time I go out and exercise and feel better but if I can't do that or if I don't think to do it quickly enough I end up breaking something. I simply feel like I'm struggling to survive in this world and keep it all going, it all feels way too difficult and stressful and I don't feel like I'm good enough, I feel like I'm not strong enough and competitive enough to make it in this world. I'm living in constant fear that bad things are coming and good things never last, I feel that nobody really likes me for who I am, they just like all the shit I've managed to front in order to make them tolerate me.
>>16512711
Seek therapy.
I started dating a girl, and we've been on 5 dates now. We clicked so incredibly well I almost felt like it was going to fast, except we haven't had sex yet. There's been some touching and feeling but really this is bugging me. I'm not sure if she is maybe super inexperienced or prude or just not that attracted to me. How to find out? Is this an appropriate time to just bring it up like "hey we've been seeing each other for a while and I'm wondering why we haven't had sex yet". I'm not sure what a normal timeframe is, with last relationships it was always within 1-2 dates.
Sometimes I feel like she doesn't care about me at all... Now is one of those times. Maybe she just doesn't know how to show it, either way I'm feeling bad.
My mother is insane. Literally.
She's fucked me over many times in my life.
She's attempted murder on my life by vehicle manslaughter, riding with me on the hood through the city of Calgary.
I know I shouldn't entertain a connection, or a life with her with her as my mother.
What I'm asking is whether I should take care of her in her current state.
In my life she has always been mentally unstable, but should I sacrifice myself right now to help her, even though I can't help myself? I've always been an avid believer in helping your own, but she's fucked me over to where I don't know what to do anymore.
She has alcoholism, should I even bother? She's dying.
Nope. You cant help someone who wont help themselves. If she really tried to kill you, guess what? SHE ISNT YOUR MOTHER ANYMORE.
Shes a crazy bitch who tried to kill you. Wanna help her and move on? Call the cops tell them, get her arrested, demand a court ordered restraining order, move away, live your life and move on.
>>16523872
>insane. literally.
>fucked me over many times
>attempted murder on my life
>should I sacrifice myself to help her?
Are you crazy? Assuming you're being honest and not badly skewing the story, fuck her. Get as far away as you can, work on repairing your own life, and let her rot.
Hell, a lot of the time even when the alcoholic is a wonderful person and someone you love to death, there comes a point when all you can do is throw up your hands and say "this is it. I can't do this anymore." You can't make somebody fix themselves.
>>16523879
I got her arrested that night. My mistake was not putting charges on her. I let her come back to the hotel I paid for hours later.
After she came back to the hotel I left to the airport and flew back home (far away from her)
I still feel bad, because even though she's completely fucked, she's still my mother. And she's still mentally ill.
Everyone's told me that since she's tried to kill me (I have video evidence where she told me she was going to run into another vehicle while I was on the hood in order to get me off, while she was swerving on the sidewalk) That I have every right to leave her in my past. The this is that EVERYONE gave up on her.
Should I really give up on her all of these years?
She ran me over a week before my birthday, almost four months ago. Havent spoken to her since.
Do you guys think I can woo woman. I'm 19 and lookin for living. Posting couple pics
Nope
Alright that's it, what do you guys think I can do to look better and attract more women.
I know I am not the one he thinks when he kisses me and hugs me. Wrapped in his arms while lying in his bed is where loneliness is. Help me move on. My bf still loves his ex..
>>16523196
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
>>16523196
Accept he will never love you like he loved his ex. Tell him this, there maybe an arguement but he needs to know how you feel.
>>16523196
How long ago did his ex become is ex? Days, weeks or months?
If you're the rebound girlfriend then it might take a while for him to move on from her but he will eventually.
Don't be a drama queen. Keep this to yourself until a lot of time has passed.
So for the past year or so I've become a lot more laid back, this has really helped with social situations, with girls etc but I need to know how to really go full honey badger mode. I still get nervous and fumble over words talking to people sometimes.
By necoming mentally strong. And you do this by taking care of yourself and living with a positive mindset. Yet at the same time you shouldn't be afraid to have mean comebacks to people who critisize you in the same way.
>>16523131
Congrats OP you've found the secret to happiness! Simply not giving a fuck, that's what most happy people have cultivated throughout their lives. I was honestly about to make a thread to help people reach this mindset but you beat me to it.
Anyways
>I still get nervous and fumble over words talking to people sometimes.
Don't worry about being nervous, just try and relax at anytime you can. Whenever this shit may come up and start to happen, just shrug it off, we all make mistakes. You'll get better and better, but for real you're well on your way to reaching your full social potential. Stay positive, stay sharp!
I've been working on saying whatever I want. It's great. I can't believe the stuff I say sometimes but I've never been happier. Frequently I'll just not feel that way but more and more it seems I'm able to let my freak flag fly.
God bless OP. You're doing God's work by being unabashedly yourself.
/adv/ Please help me figure out what to do.
My Dad is a cat hoarder, he has 60-100 cats at any given time and they've ruined his health and his home. He lives all alone and smells like cat urine everywhere he goes. Every time you go in his house there's cat feces, urine and vomit everywhere.
I'm sick of him living like this, I want to get all of the cats out his home and clean it up so he has a safe place to live.
What pisses me off the most is his friends on facebook cheer him on and tell him he's a "cat rescue" when he's not. All his cats are sick, have worms, are flea infested, and dying and they wander around the home tearing up everything. He spends hundreds of dollars on them every two weeks on food, litter and medication so he lives in poverty and is about to bankrupt for the second time and lose his house.
If I report him to the police they'll throw him in jail for it because it's a felony here and I don't want him to lose his job because it's the only one he's had for 30+ years.
I'm afraid the SPCA or similar will also report him to the police.
He's totally estranged from his family (except for me his only daughter) and has no friends.
What the fuck do I do?
>>16523115
op I know this isn't what you want to hear, but jail might be best for him.
They may be able to get him a medical health plea if his hoarding is seen as a strong enough mental disorder
but the fact is all of these animals are suffering, so are you and he may not think so but he's also suffering.
Nothing less than immediate psychiatric attention is going to save him op. This is not a band-aid fix.
>>16523128
When I ask people if I should report him though they tell me no because it's his choice to hoard and that I would be to blame if he went to jail and that would make me a bad daughter.
This is animal abuse and your dad is sick. Like the other anon said, reporting him and him having legal action taken against him is probably the only way and what's best for him, you, and the cats.
>>>/an/ probably has more people knowledgable on his this works.
so, there is this girl in my math class that is super pretty. I've become super shy around girls and I don't want to make a scene. She's asain and I don't know if she is into white guys like me. Also, I have some friends in my class that might make fun of me if I get rejected...what should I do, guys? [pic sorta related]
>>16523019
Get to no her, and in an honest way. Not a desperate attemtp at sex.
I don't want sex at all, honestly. I just wanna kiss her and stuff but also a quality relationship
>>16523019
Shy, you will get over it.
And this is what is going to happen to you.
You are going to have your heart broken many many times.
Girls may find you a nice guy but will never sleep with you.
You will be played by girls. They are going to trick you in to giving them money and other stuff.
You will get depressed and suicide comes to mind.
Girls in time will talk about you behind your back saying that you are gay.
You will lose your friends, because girls make fun of you so your friends will do that to.
You will be alone and feelings of hatred will come to you.
You may begin to use drugs/alcohol.
The hatred has taken it's place and it's what drives you.
You will hate everyone and you are going to serk someone to unleash your hatred.
You may get arrested. Probley for some violent crime.
You will go to prostitutes and treat them like shit, cause that's how the girls in the past have treated you.
You will lose yourself. But atleast you are not shy anymore.
This is what awaits you. Man the fuck up and don't let it come this far. Take what you want, just go for it.
My head is fucked /adv/. And i dont know what to do.
Its 01:30, i have work at 6. My mind is full of shit, its stopping me from sleeping and its ruining my life. For 9 months ive been like this, and it isnt getting any better. Its gotten to the point where offing myself has become very attractive.
9 months ago, the girl who i was planning to spend my life with snapped, broke up with me and moved 200 miles away.
We were together almost 3 years, and without going into detail, it was as close to a perfect relationship as could be.
The reason for the breakup is a long, drawn out story that even i dont understand the majority of. So i wont go into that.
Back to the point, since the breakup my life has just nosedived, I lost my dream job, had to move back to my parents, my £20k savings have been wasted on shit...
I still love her, i would do anything for another chance with her, and... Technically, its still possible. But whether its a good idea or not is debateable. We are still in contact, she knows how I feel, and i know her enough to know she feels the same way about me.
There is just that much negative history over the last 9 months that we both are scared of going back. We both see it as a lost cause although we both still want it...
Another problem, we have both very recently gotten into relationships. Now, i have no idea how happy she is with this new guy (although the thought of her sleeping with someone else repulses me, even though ive done it too) but... At the minute, i am not happy with mine.
I cant help but compare this relationship with my last. Nothing even comes close to how it was... And its pulling me to pieces. I cant cope and dont know what to do.
I mean, realistically. Ive hit the jackpot. qt3.14 loli stoner chick who actually has her shit sorted and has a good life, and she is great in all regards. Its just... Great isnt as good as perfect.
Couple points:
>looking back on relationship in skewered view; relationship probably wasn't as good as you're making it out to be. You're just not used to being alone after 2 years of relationship.
>you didn't ask for advice on anything.
Time ends up fixing this stuff. Since you got so used to a relationship and company as soon as you were lone you turned into a mushy pile of autism. Take a step back and actually look at your relationship with the previous girl and determine how good the relationship actually was.
Finally:
>pls no self-pity or 'she is the one' replies.
>>16523040
I've had enough time to think about this stuff already. I can say with 100% that we were both happy for the majority of the relationship. Her life improved drastically after meeting me (i did a hell of lot for her). And the only time we wernt happy was during the breakup, which took about 2 weeks.
I stand by what i said, it was as close to perfection as it could be.
Im not looking for pity, i simply came here to ask what in the hell i should be doing with the cards i have in my hand.
>>16523055
Moving on then, obviously.
From the looks of it she sounds high maintenance.
>I did a hell of a lot for her
Sounds like she used you for a month then moved on. She was content with you looking after her and being an keeping her happy while you enjoyed her company. Probably just felt guilt at the end of the relationship and decided to end it. Don't assume she enjoyed the relationship as much as you just because of the smile on her face.
>what in the hell i should be doing
move.on.
Today my girlfriend got mad at me, and I kind if loses my shit and told her that we needed to talk seriously and the theme needed to be discussed personally, she thought I tried to break up with her and she told me that she doesn't give a fuck and that she doesn't need that in her life, after 7 hours we talked again we both agreed to talk tomorrow.
I never wanted to break up with her and all I want to do is forget everything, but I'm also pretty pissed off cause this isn't the first time this happens, and I'm really pretty fucking done with it.
What does adv/ thinks?
Try to make things up? Or see if we're really both done with the relationship?
PD(We both seem like we're ready to break up, we're both pretty pissed at each other )
In a normal relationship you would probably talk and discuss all night.
You "lose your shit" and don't really want to talk.
It sounds like you're only drawn together because you're emotionally weak, (which also explains the losing of the shit).
If you're in the wrong then make up. If your relationship just isn't working then break up.
>>16523006
I actually told her that right now it wasn't the best time to talk , I mean we're both at knife point, even more when we're both about to end the relationship
Can a girl be pregnant and still get her period?
My gf masturbated me (no ejaculation) and then she masturbated with the same hand. I rubbed my dick against her ass (and vag but for like 2 seconds) always putting my hand around my "head". Then we fucked but with condoms so I guess the closest thing to get pregnancy is the masturbation thing. She got a 3 day delay of her period,and then it came down, but still. I'm not 100% sure...
You're fine.
>>16522916
It's possible, but very rare. There can be normal spotting during pregnancy though.
If you want to be sure, just get her a pregnancy test. You should have a few on hand anyways if you and your partner are sexually active.
You should also consider using better BC than condoms.
if she has had her period a pregnancy test will work
might as well try it, they cost $5
I'm thinking of making a homemade Christmas card for my ex that has an in joke and says some of our nights together were perfect.I want her back and I'm like 65% sure she eventually wants to too.
Is this beta as fuck tho
You ARE beta as fuck bro.
Enjoy the KEKENING
>>16522910
No. If you want her back then get her back. Just don't go through the same cycle that caused the break up in the first place. I got my girlfriend back because I am not a beta cunt that's going to watch another guy swoop in on her.
>>16522910
>65% sure
You got to be 100% or nothing.
