Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2113. page
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I'm 25 and just started a bridging at uni. I caught up with my neighbour whos 52 and started saying its too late and that I should just join the army. He says he doesn't understand why I have a girlfriend, says im a loser and that I'm a failure and to just join the army. Said I need to live in the now and that Im unemployable. I now think I'm suffering from anxiety and haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. I dovt get to sleep until 3 am and cant stop thinking that my future is fkd.
Why do you care what your 52 year old neighbour has to say?
>>16527269
I sort of respected him, part of the neighbourhood
>>16527263
anyone else had to deal with this type of crap?
1. Is it weird, if I have an exam in the same room with a girl, to take it, wait on a bench outside for her to come out, and ask her out?
2. Is it weird to have a mental script before hand? It's nothing complex, but I figure it would be good to have my words nailed down. Will it be obvious I planned my words exactly?
I don't interact with women often.
>>16527208
Yes, it's weird, and no, it's probably not a great idea. A better idea would be to rehearse ahead of time, several times if need be, but not commit the words to memory or write them down. If you do you'll sound like a robot.
And pick a different setting. Her mind will be way elsewhere, and she won't be in the best mood. Also it's just weird.
That's not the best idea. But ofcourse we don't know how you know this person or anything if you two are relatively friendly already it might be ok. Just take mental step back and really think about your aproach.
Having a script is very handy from my own experience. Keep it short and simple and don't overly explain yourself, be brief and to the point.
>>16527208
It's not weirder or more awkward than any other cold approach. Keep it casual, talk to her like anyone else.
Mental scripts aren't a bad idea but don't get too detailed- you've got to learn to ad lib
Hot girls always rejected me. Give me one reason why not to pull a rodge on them.
Hot girls are annoying. They often say dumb cringe if you ever listened. It's not worth the hassle to pursue hawt gurl pussi when you can fax to them all you want
Because you'll make me look bad. I do not need people thinking I'm going to attack them because I had feelings for them in the past. They might even attack me, and that would REALLY suck.
So yesterday or two days ago I made a post about my boyfriends phone. Apparently one of my friends saw him messaging this girl who flirts with him in class
I asked him today if I could go through his phone but he said no and defended his response with the classic "you're invading my privacy" and "it means no trust" response.
The few people I've talked about this with said that it was a bad sign, they all advised me to dump him because it's suspicious. I just need opinions on this.. Suggestions would help too
Break up.
>>16527192
I swear god that if a girl went through my phone without my permission I'd dump the shit out of her for starters. people need their own private space, just because he likes you doesn't mean he should bend over and take your dick up his fucking ass when it comes to everything in life.
>>16527192
>oh no he talked to another human being i need to search all his belongings to ensure that the only human he ever contacts is me
are you building a pit in your basement to trap him inside too?
jesus christ
Alright so, here's the story, and if some kind anon could advise me on what to do next, I'd be eternally grateful. I'm being general so ask me to elaborate if needed, plz
>My 4 year relationship with a girl started declining due to stress, and at one point she wanted to go on a break so she could focus on her uni work for a while.
>After a week, she says that she needs to be alone indefinitely and that we're over because she needs to "find herself".
>After a couple days or so we're texting again, and she breaks away from normal conversation and says something to the effect of "I miss you", just not worded that way.
>If I remember correctly it was like "I want to kiss you" or something.
>I never really wanted to separate so I reply with something equally flirtatious but never went past that message, the conversation returns to non-romantic stuff and life goes on.
>A couple days after that, I ask to see if maybe we could go out as friends.
>It was really a ploy to get alone time with her to maybe open up about how I feel, but for the time it was just friendly because even though we see each other often we had been avoiding each other awkwardly.
>Instead, she suggests we go out as a couple one last time, says it will be more fulfilling for me.
>I accept, and after hesitant withdrawals of the offer it happens anyway out of the blue when she decides to push the envelope and make it happen one day spontaneously.
>It happens, we go out and do shit that only couples would but officially we're not together.
>No sex or anything just walking around, kissing and hugging and whatever.
>At the end of the "date" I suggest we do it again, she declines saying that it would be contradictory because she previously insisted she isn't ready to date again, but does still love me.
>She wants to stick to her word, and she kisses me goodbye.
I still can't tell if I should wait for her, if she wants me gone, or what. I'm just so damn confused and I love her guys. What now?
>"find herself".
This is the point where she started cheating on you, and where I stopped reading.
You already know what you must do, stop being a pussy.
Seriously, you were dumped because you got too beta, OP.
>At the end of the "date" I suggest we do it again, she declines saying that it would be contradictory because she previously insisted she isn't ready to date again,
Actually, nevermind.
You got SO beta, wishy-washy, romantic, non-confrontational, unleader-y, that you not only killed off her attraction to you FOR GOOD, but you also made her completely repulsed of relationships AT ALL, and she'll pretty much admits she'll be a long time in the cock carousel of casual sex until she forgets what a pussy you've became in the course of your relationship.
Hope that helped.
I know it sounds that way, but I'm almost 100 percent certain it's not because of someone else for reasons I can't be assed to explain unless you actually want me to. So let's assume it's not that. Now what?
My alcoholism made me goof bad guys and I'm not sure what to do
>Be me yesterday, finish studying and start drinking because I've been feeling like trash all day.
>Underestimate how drunk I've gotten from the first few drinks so I chug two more
>Start fading in and out of awareness so I wrap myself in my blanket and decide to listen to an album one of my housemates suggested to me
>Long fade out period
>Fade back in rambling to him and his gf while they're in bed (I had woken them up) about how great the album is. At this point I realize I'm in a situation I should not be in and say I'll just tell him tomorrow and excuse myself.
>Fast forward to this morning, I'm getting ready to go to go class and see him, we chat a bit and he brings up last night (which I had mostly forgotten about) and for some reason HE apologizes TO ME about being too tired to understand what I was talking about, so I just run with that and we end up discussing the album and the artist for a bit before I have to go and he seemed pretty chill about it. Then he reminds me that I left my sweater in his room which makes me even more confused
So why do I still feel like a garbage housemate and have this urge to apologize to him and his gf? At the same time I feel like he gave me a pass to escape the incident with minimal awkwardness between us and I should just take it. I haven't seen his gf again yet but I feel like I can't just ignore what happened.
I'm not particularly close with him or any of our other housemates and sort of feel like the outsider in the group, but I think that distance has been shrinking recently and now I may have gone and fucked it all up by gaining a reputation as a drunken nuisance.
What should I do /adv/ ?
You're most likely tripping out and nothing bad happened. I get literally the same feeling after I drink - an insatiable feeling that I fucked up or embarrassed myself somehow. That's why I never get smashed in public anymore, and save it for my boys. If the dude is close enough to you he would be open and tell you something made him uncomfortable.
Don't drink to shake off feelings. It will just worsen them and escalate things. Talk to a trusted person about your problems. Does alcoholism run in any of your family?
>>16527157
Yes and I'm painfully aware of the road I'm walking down but its ridiculously hard to stop for more than a few weeks. I've told myself I'll drop it if it ever gets to the point where I'm skipping class to get drunk but now I'm not so sure if thats the best point to wait for.
>>16527156
It's good to know I'm not the only one who frequently gets this post-drunk anxiety. Do you think I should just pretend it never happened and move on?
I'm going to start by telling you all that I fucked up. Hard. I cheated on my girlfriend, but that's not what I need help with. We've worked past that already. What I need help with is different. One of her friends was in contact with the woman I cheated with, and obtained the only nude image that I sent her. Now her nuts friend has it and is threatening to post it to the facebook wall of all of my friends and family unless I give her $150 before 12-4-15. I have no other options. I am literally begging the 4chan community for help.
On a somewhat related note, I recently bought a PS4 protection plan that I can't actually use, so Sony is sending me a $60 refund Visa Prepaid card. I know that nobody likes doing things for free, so whoever can help me will be $60 richer if they so choose.
Please!! I don't want to lose the woman of my dreams, although I know I don't deserve her.
For personal reasons, I wont be uploading a photo of me, my girlfriend and I, or the conversation with the threat. If you do wish to know what we look like or what exactly was said, please let me know of a way to privately contact you.
>>16527103
Blackmail/Extortion is illegal. Tell her that you've documented everything, and that if she continues to threaten you (or leaks said picture), you're not afraid of taking legal action.
>>16527103
Karma tbqh
>>16527109
This. Call the cops (non-emergency line obviously).
Kids fucking suck. Why are people still having them other than to make their parents shut up about "muh grandchildren?
I'm sick of being asked when I'm going to pop some out.
>>16527095
>Why are people still having them other than to make their parents shut up about "muh grandchildren?
It might be hard to believe, but some people genuinely like them.
I'm in a weird situation where, if I don't have a child soon, I'll probably end up completely alone when I'm a bit older. Aside from my husband, everyone I love is dead or will die very soon. But at the same time, I know how selfish we both are, and so I try to fight the urges. I feel like I'll regret it either way.
>I'm sick of being asked when I'm going to pop some out.
Make a sad, serious face and tell them you're barren. They'll stop asking.
>>16527104
I just see it as extremely rude to even ask someone if they're going to have kids. I will try the barren response, thanks.
I'm the same way with my husband. We just like how things are.
When people ask me how many kids I want I say "I do not know how many does it take to create a village?". They never ask me again.
Best way to commit an hero?
Least painful way is obliteration with an explosive device.
Best way is either handgun/shotgun or jumping headfirst off an extremely high building. Good luck with that.
>>16527032
Depends. If you live in western country currently accepting muslim refugees, please do the rest of us a favor and suicide bomb one of the 'asylum' centers.
Explosive devices are the quickest way to go, and you'll be making you death useful for the rest of society.
>>16527032
100 pushups, 100 situps, 100 squats, 10, 000 km run ez
Guys I matched with a girl that is really cute and we messaged back and forth since last night but today I asked if she wanted to get lunch or something and she hasn't responded. Should I just leave it alone or try to say something else?
>>16526986
Give her a day.
it's almost like she has a life or something
>>16526990
A life that's fine without OP in it
so I have poor communication skills with women when it comes to texting....and in general.
list things that a hetero male should NOT do/say
Is this some sort of joke?
You shouldn't make a giant list of the things you shouldn't say. You should just practice talking to woman like they're people.
Unless you're SO clueless when you try to talk to women you just creep them the fuck out. Then you can ask for some pointers.
I have no idea what you're asking, so I'm just going to assume.
When complimenting a woman, don't use words like sexy or hot until you're actually in a relationship. Use words like pretty, gorgeous, lovely, etc. Remember, be the prince, not the bard. Unless you're just trying to fuck. Then be the bard. But for relationships be the prince.
Do ask her about her day. Do pretend to care. She says she didn't do anything today? Throw in a cute line like "Well, I was thinking about grabbing some coffee later if you wanted to come with. No pressure." If she mentions a hobby anywhere, two options. 1) If you actually share this hobby, bring it up. 2) If you do not share the hobby, do not pretend like you do because that's frustrating for everyone. Say something like "Wow, what a coincidence! I was actually thinking about getting into [hobby]."
Anything else?
So there's this guy I became friends with very recently and apparently he's also pretty infatuated with me (which is exactly what i didnt want to happen)
but I found out that he's like really fucking super into pretending to be a baby and having like a pacifier and like wearing diapers and shitting in them or whatever and stuff like that and like I don't know what the fuck to do.
He's honestly a nice dude aside from that but holy shit how do I proceed this is so fucking awkward and uncomfortable for me.
I can't really look at him the same way
and I feel so bad because I'm usually of the thought that I don't care what weird shit people are into as long as it's not like harming anyone (who doesn't want to be harmed) and like I said I wouldn't judge but i seriously cant help it
it's weird when like you're actually friends with the person and they're kinda into you and it's like what the hell do I do now pls help
>>16526936
Be friendly, but do what you can to avoid leading him on. Don't accept gifts, money, favors, etc. If he ever confesses to you, make it known that you're just not interested in him that way and that it'll never, ever happen.
>>16526936
You're a gill right? Just be nice to his face and exploiting his time and money and then ridiculoule him behind with his black best friend.
I thought this shit came naturally to you.
It's not really OK to cut a friend out of your life for being into something weird -- provided you didn't, like, tell them "my boundaries are pretty strict, I'm really not comfortable hearing anything about your sex life" and then insist on telling you all about it anyway.
It is OK, though, to ask somebody for some space if you've found out they're infatuated with you. It can be a positive thing for them too sometimes.
Figure out, is it really that you can't be friends with someone with this fetish, or is it that you just really don't see him that way and it's odd for you knowing he does? Being squicked out by somebody's fetishes does contribute to "not seeing them that way."
How do I be a man,/adv/?
I didn't have a father, or any sort of fatherly presence in my life.
>>16526900
bump
Be mature. Be independent. Know how to take care of yourself and others, and do so. Be knowledgeable, and pursue things that interest you. Be confident, prove yourself to yourself, and work to be the kind of person you want to be. Be kind and generous, be compassionate, be open to other points of view but know when to stand your ground to protect yourself and others.
In short, just try to be a good person.
I am a man and I don't want to be.
How easy is it to transfer from a community college to university after getting your associates?
My parents barely wanted to pay for my community college, and they certainly wouldn't pay for my university (which stings because my family has plenty of money, they're upper class but they don't want to give me handouts) it sucks but I kind of see their reasoning.
Anyways, I really care about furthering my education. I plan on getting an engineering degree and for that to mean anything I have to go to a university and then grad school.
I also barely have money by myself (working a 10 dollar an hour job).
My grades are good, mostly A's with a few B's (just about to go into finals for first semester, hopefully those don't tank me, or they could bump me up) but sadly in HS my grades werent good enough for scholarships.
I just need to know if I keep things up (good grades) how difficult will it be for me. I want to spend the least amount of money as possible. Idk how scholarships work while in community college.
I'm just really not sure how all of my fucking friends (who are not rich by any means and didn't get scholarships) got their parents to pay for their university
>>16526853
You need to talk to the university you want to transfer to about reqs. Its going to be a pain in the ass. Creds from some classes will transfer and some won't/
It's not optional. Talk to the universities you will be applying to after community college.
To-do list
>Check the transfer requirements
>Talk with a counselor and see how many of your credits are transferable
>Reach your goal, make the move
>>16526853
If you want to be an engineer, don't go to grad school. Get a BE from an ABET accredited school, cheapest and closest one you can find. You're life won't be a roller coaster ride, but you will prolly never have money problems.
What do your parents do for a living?
Go to grad school if you are sincerely and deeply interested and dedicated to a specific field or furthering some knowledge... Don't do it otherwise it's a waste.
>tfw no friends
>tfw socially retarded, never say anything in discussions except to answer direct questions, often with few word answers
>tfw office party tomorrow
>at a bar, free drinks
>not really close to anyone at work
>tfw the girl i like from the office will be there
h-how do i have a good time?
>>16526800
>how do i have a good time?
Stay home.
as long as she stays like this and i can stare, no problem
>>16526800
Get drunk to the point you don't care anymore and just try to have fun talking to people, but make sure you don't get drunk to the point where it might hurt your reputation at the office.
