Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1754. page
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To what extent do you avoid offending other people?
Where do you draw the line? At which point do you stop and say to yourself "ok, that's it, if they're insulted by such a silly thing they're either pretending or they have some serious issues I don't want to deal with or tiptoe around"?
Here are some not-so-removed-from-everyday-life examples I intuitively feel are crossing that line, but I can't logically explain why. Please help me find the pattern or devise some kind rule-of-thumb:
>your gf accuses you of cheating because she had a dream of you being with another woman, you think she's joking, but she's actually offended for real
>your old classmate doesn't talk to you because you jokingly used their old nickname which mocks their surname
>users of a website want to ban a certain emoticon because it reminds them too much in shape of a penis, you wonder what kind of perverted mind could see a penis in that
>someone's religious feelings are hurt because you said islam is in some way responsible for 9/11 attacks
>your friend is offended you didn't respond to them while you were busy taking a shit
How do you argument not wanting to apologize, giving them the benefit of doubt that perhaps they'll calm down and listen to reason?
Feel free to point me to any pages, threads or book resources that talk about this and help you with argumentation. Does this behaviour have a name? I see it more often in women than men, but god damn me, men do it too.
>>16736536
I don't. If they don't like it they need to stay the fuck away from me.
>>16736536
>>your gf accuses you of cheating because she had a dream of you being with another woman, you think she's joking, but she's actually offended for real
>your friend is offended you didn't respond to them while you were busy taking a shit
This is retarded if it's true, please find less emotionally needy people
>your old classmate doesn't talk to you because you jokingly used their old nickname which mocks their surname
Some people do get pissy over that,just ask if you can use "x" name
>users of a website want to ban a certain emoticon because it reminds them too much in shape of a penis
Who cares?
>someone's religious feelings are hurt because you said islam is in some way responsible for 9/11 attacks
That wasn't very smart of you desu. That's like talking about how PETA are a bunch of retards with a vegan friends.
Let me rephrase that and give you a tl;dr version: how do you tell if you actually done something offensive, or if they're just too sensitive and rather than expecting you apologize they need to recognize their flaw and deal with it. You know, grow a pair.
Can I get a rate, I shaved. Me in my current state, going go college soon I'm gonna hit on some girls. What are my chances.
Me not tired
>>>/soc/
They will give you honest rates because it's a fucking normie zoo over there.
>>16736459
That's disrespectful, I'm not a normie. reeeeeeeeee
How do you start having sex with your long term bf/gf? How do they start? Do you just start to touch them more intensively or you just tell them? What if they are not in the mood?
>>16736325
Ask them if they want to have sex. If they say yes, then the next time you're alone and touching/close to eachother, grab something you haven't grabbed yet, and start taking your clothes off.
My gf is usually really horny no matter what time of the day, so sometimes I say "let's fuck."
But most of the time I go in for a kiss, then we look at each other and then we kiss harder and more deeply, and then we usually just go for the whole deal by then.
Keep in mind my gf and I are fucking idiots.
http://www.comdotgame.com/play/zone-tan-hacked
From my experience it's like this game.
Hey /adv/. Should I fap today? I'm 2 weeks in NoFap now and I have a strong urge to fap.
>>16736138
Why are you nofapping? If you have a goal, keep it up. That's the point.
If you are doing it just to challenge yourself, fap. Fail your challenge. It don't matter, none of this matters.
>>16736138
Why are you even falling for the nofap meme if you're just going to fap anyway?
>>16736146
Well, I wanted to raise my confidence levels. Luckily, it worked somewhat.
Might be losing my job because I made death threats at work. what do?
Tell them you take it back
>>16736083
Accept your punishment and do not repeat your mistakes.
Sign up for anger management?
>>16736083
See a shrink. You're the reason society is a mess.
How to I accept the reality that I will never win the lottery, and the only way I can ever hope to have money is being a wage slave?
>>16736035
Give up on the idiot tax, and invest that money properly instead.
It's not hard to make money from money. You just have to be willing to do what it takes.
>>16736037
How would you suggest I "Invest" the $10 a week I would otherwise spend on lottery?
>>16736041
typical vague empty advice, want to be more specific or are you just teasing me?
Here's the skinny:
>Boyfriend calls me stupid every day.
>I do more stupid things because I work terribly under pressure; making him call me stupid even more.
>He asks me to do so much and I do so little. I feel so lazy and I definitely look like I am.
>Don't want to use my depression and other physical and mental illnesses as excuses, and only say so when I think it is so necessary.
>A few nights ago he snapped and says a few horrible things - will describe below.
>Don't know how to feel and what to do.
I can't get angry at what he had said; it's the truth - I can be so lazy, and no matter how much I improve myself or try, it never seems to be enough and I always do something wrong.
The night where he snapped, he thew my laptop on the tile floor after shutting it on my fingers and said I am incapable of anything, I have no ability for anything. He said I am so stupid and never do anything right, and in the spur-of-the-moment he told me he doesn't like me and told me to go back to my own country (Our living arrangements are complicated; we are both from different countries, etc.).
Of course he said more things than that, but I am so upset that he thinks so poorly of me. I love him so much and being depressed makes it hard for him. I always feel like I bother him. Whenever I try and talk to him about this, he simply says I think too much and carries on with his day.
At the end of the day, we both make each other more happy than sad, and we always say that we love each other (no lies). The problem is me, and I am just scared I will make him snap again and this time it won't just be what he did (listed above).
>You don't necessarily need to say leave him or not, just your opinions are okay.
>Do you think I create a toxic relationship?
>>16735892
Yeah, you need to get the fuck out of that relationship about five times over.
What country are you from, and what country are you in now?
>>16735892
You haven't done anything wrong. If someone you love is constantly calling you stupid and berating you, he's bad. You're fine.
You may love him, but he's hurting you. You really should break up and get out of there.
I'm looking for things I can do other than go to work & sit in front of my computer all day. They really need to be things I can't do at a computer, things unlike reading or listening to music, because it's always cheaper and more convenient to do it that way. Aside from obvious things like eating, drinking, sleeping, etc. I also can't stand the idea of going to a gym, since I already get enough mindless, repetitive exercise at work.
I'd also love something to get me out of the house, but it seems like the only things to do nearby are eat, drink & buy useless crap.
Hike or find a trail to walk along. Get a bike and go around. If you do reading/writing or any solitary deskwork, do it at a coffeeshop instead of home. What city are you in?
>>16735830
If everything the guy above me tells ya fails join a sports team
It'll make ya fit, be a new hobby and give you some new friends
>>16735884
>join a sports team
As I said, I already get enough mindless, repetitive exercise at work.
>It'll make ya fit, be a new hobby and give you some new friends
a new hobby is a good idea, but I have no knowledge of sports, I don't even know what sports I could/should try.
>>16735866
>Hike or find a trail to walk along. Get a bike and go around.
As I said, I already get enough mindless, repetitive exercise at work.
>If you do reading/writing or any solitary deskwork, do it at a coffeeshop instead of home.
Why? I'd be doing the exact same crap, only with less privacy & comfort. I also hate coffee.
>What city are you in?
Garden City
Does anyone know any alternative medicine that can help me with my social anxiety?
going outside
Stop thinking about stuff.
>>16735784
I've heard the most success stories with GABA related drugs, but you should always consider medication your last option and only after talking to a doctor. You could also try good old fashioned alcohol.
>>16735789
>>16735813
Die in a fire
So how does someone even kiss? Is it just touching of the lips?
I use a sledgehammer and a napkin dispenser.
>>16735453
No,it's far more complicated than that. You'd never fully understand.
It's not as simple as just lips touching. There are 16 different steps involved.
Is it weird to date a girl 3 years younger than me? I'm 22 and she's 19
>>16735199
Uhh no? You're not in high school anymore.
>>16735199
the more important aspect is whether or not you're at similar points in life.
>>16735208
...I think so? we're both in college
I've been going through the roughest breakup of my life, /adv/. If you follow the "get it off your chest" threads, you might recognize the circumstances.
What happened was, my boyfriend went berserk and broke my hand, but he also damaged our shared apartment. He's damaged every single door in the place, and broken the frames of two of them as well as the drywall in several places.
My question is, should he pay for them? I make more money, but it's just enough to cover the apartment and living expenses alone. He also has cancer, and has to pay for medical supplies. Should he be completely at fault for the damages, even though I know he can't pay? Or should I just try to pay on my own? What do I do?
>>16735061
who is on the lease?
>>16735061
Pic related, that's where he threw me into the wall. He pled guilty to assault himself, I don't know if he admitted to it on his own, or was told it was his best option.
>>16735068
We have no lease atm. Our lease switched month to month in December, and we haven't resigned a lease agreement. The landlords are aware of the situation and the damage, but all of the rent receipts are in my name because until recently he made more money than me, and we would've received a bigger tax return from me claiming the apartment.
I've watched a lot of "funny" how to pick up girl videos with obnoxious dudebros on Youtube.
I'm wondering if there are any melancholy or flat-out depressed dudes on /adv/ who are legit good with the ladies. If so, how do you do it?
Most of those videos are fake as fuck. It's basically already known by now. Don't try to emulate what they do or make yourself feel bad because of them since it's not an actual interaction with another human being.
>>16734967
I'm not "good" with the ladies but I've fucked like 4 in the past month or so. I guess they're attracted to the quiet types. But you kinda already have to be "cute" for that to work. And yeah, those videos are fake and use paid actors. It's pretty pathetic, they capitalise off other people's loneliness. I tried to emulate it once a few years ago and I shit you not, this is what happened.
>Be depressed
>watch a few pick up videos
>omg it's so easy! xD!
>Go to the city
>two girls sitting down
>fuck it, just do it
>sit next to them "hey my name's anon, i think you're really pretty"
>legit 2 minutes of silence, have no fucking clue what to say
>finally one of them says ".... Weeeelllll anon, we'll save you your trouble because we both have boyfriends"
>Walk away to hear them laughing loud
>crushed inside
Yeah OP, don't be like me. That was a few years ago and now it's just a funny story I tell to people.
>>16735010
It's admirable that you tried. I can improvise a little more than what you described to try & jump-start things but there's not really much connection because I'm kind of serious & morbid while women are so ebulient.
Now if all the lonely anons could be their genuine depressed, misanthropic selves & get reward for it? Wouldn't that be something? There has to be one who can teach us the way of GENUINE game over "be like Chad bros".
What do I do, /adv/? I have had a huge crush on this girl for about a year now. She's two years older than me at my university. We started talking recently--she's in two of my classes--and we get along really well. Our fb conversations have been good, funny, etc., and in person we get along really well, but our interactions have been rather brief. Anyways, I really fucked this up and I'm wondering how to recover from this in conversation... I hope she doesn't hold it against me, which I'm not sure she will, but I guess I should just wait it out and see? Is that all I should do?
Also, she has a boyfriend.
>>16734837
bruh, just fuck leave it alone and don't bring that travesty up again. you can't fix that spaghetti. that's grade A, prime, aged spaghetti. do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up.
>Also, she has a boyfriend.
then move on you faggot.
Why do you faggots do this
>PLEASE fill me in on what music you like
Don't use the word ''please''. Don't act as if you're asking for some vital information when in reality you're just fishing for conversation topics.
>hours later
>or don't, I don't need to be filled in, whatever
>or don't, I don't need to be filled in, whatever
>or don't, I don't need to be filled in, whatever
WHAT THE FUCK?
>oh SORRY
Why are you apologizing? What's wrong with you?
>just really like talking about music
pic related
Don't feel bad OP. You just gotta talk to women like they're equals. I'm sure you'll do better next time, I'd drop this particular girl though.
well , i just end my relation with my gf , because she have lot of " close " male friends , and she always invite them at her house or she go to see them , she go to parties and clubs , and she drink ( even she don't get drunk ) , but she always tell me that nothing bad happen and i should trust her more , but i just can't .. it's impossible to trust her while she's not helping me to .
today she just told me that her first kiss was with a Stranger in a party long time ago , and that make me doubt her more and it end up by dumbing her .
specially that i live too far from her right now , but i was planing to move and live with her in couple months.
i'm from a conservative society and i was serious with her in our relation and i wanted a real one that may end up by marrying and building a family in the future , but she's from a very Liberal society and she want us to stay wihout marriage nor having kids because she said she want to be free and the only thing that relate us is LOVE .
i do love her , but i just can't give up my manhood and just being a cuckold , and i also believe that people should change their lives style after getting into a relation ..
have i done the right choice by breaking up with her ?
thanks everyone and sorry for my bad english
>>16734503
her having male friends and going out drinking makes you a cuck? it sounds like she has friends and is having fun. she understands why you're concerned and urged you to trust her. you guys are currently long distance so it's not like she could spend time with you or have you come along to calm your suspicions.
if you're unable to trust her and are constantly worried that she's cheating on you then it wouldn't matter what sort of friends she had or what she did on her free time, your imagination was going to drift there anyway.
maybe she is/was cheating on you. i don't fucking know but neither do you. you have no proof of anything happening.
you being that suspicious and untrusting is going to push pretty much anyone away. no one likes feeling controlled like that. the lack of trust in a relationship is a red flag as well.
>>16734545
i didn't hold her from having friends , but with limits , when she invite a male friend and they are alone at her place or at his place , that's not friendship , at least she should respec our relation and respect me and my feelings
>>16734503
You did the right choice. She was a liar, and clearly didn't care about your feelings.
What, she HAS to go out? No she doesn't. She CHOSE to go out.
If she doesn't care about your feelings, she doesn't care about you.
