Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 172. page
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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>I'm about to have sex for the first time. What do I do?
Humans have worked this out on their own for centuries. You'll be fine.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. You either know how to tell, or you don't. If you don't, you learn through experience. So ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
>>17328244
I claim this thread in the name of Pegasus the Herald of Andraste
>>17328251
Off to a great start!
>>17328251
>Dragon Age
I thought your taste couldn't be shittier. Guess I was wrong.
I'm very conflicted about marijuana. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.
>late 20s
>started smoking in mid-teens off and on
>chronically by early 20s
It's been one of the best and worst things in my life. How do I reconcile such contradictory feelings, experiences, memories with a healthy outlook for my future?
For me, it was a gateway drug and I have terrible, terrible difficulty only smoking weed. I can stay completely sober for weeks but once I smoke again it initiates the cycle again. What happens is that I like to partake in marijuana in a certain mood, for certain purposes, and I do enjoy it then, but then I will hate the hazy after-effects and crave more of a stimulant or dissociative type of drug to "reset my brain" in a way. It's like day and night and I habitually alternate between the two, never satisfied with either by itself. The problem here is that all this combined takes a toll on my life, health, relationships, finances, etc. It can't go on anymore.
So... just stop smoking, right? Problem solved? Not so fast. I can live 100% sober but I just don't enjoy things anymore. I can sense my brain resetting its neurochemical balance back to normal, I make it past the psychological withdrawal phase and feel fine but something is missing... I almost feel like a stone statue without it, like all humor and joy of living vanishes and I simply cannot get into things, which inevitably brings me back to using it, which inevitably initiates the addiction to other substances, too.
I don't know what to do... I've been living this way for so long, it's so ingrained into my life. Anyone else relate? Anyone with experienced and insightful advice to offer? If you're inexperienced with these things I don't see what useful advice you could give, no offense, but I know this type of thread will attract many "psh, just quit you degenerate stoner!" responses from people who don't really understand the ins and outs of it.
Thanks.
Bad news is that it's affecting you negatively. Good news is that your conscious of it. You say that life seems mundane without it? Life itself is filled with ups and downs yknow. Sober people get just as bored. Maybe you're not a zombie but rather you're doing casual shit that doesn't give you a rush. Go on an adventure with friends or alone and see how you feel. You can quit too. You do yourself no good by convincing yourself that you can't. I consume bud too. 4-5 times a week I vape marijuana but a bowl usually lasts me a week. I hit it once or twice a day.
Stop smoking. Pot is not for everyone. I had to cut that shit out, you just gotta not smoke weed. Throw your stash out, dont 'just finish off what I've got left' cause that never works.
Just stop
>>17328192
>responses from people who don't really understand the ins and outs of it.
I do. I wasted many years just smoking weed. I had the same problems as you.
Quitting was hard and I'd have times where I would try to smoke it casually (and not be stoned 24/7).
Nothing worked.
Quit the weed.
Force yourself into some hobbies. Get out into the world and do shit.
I still have urges to smoke weed and on very rare occasions I do. I end up regretting it and my brain feels like shit for a day or two.
I'm 26M.
Last week I was fired from the job I've been worked for about 3 years and a half.
I've got enough money to survive for about a year without worries. So money isn't really a issue at the moment.
My real problem is that, back when I was working, I looked forward to coming back home and relax doing whatever on the internet, usually when until up late at night just wasting time.
I usually didn't hang out with people I worked with, I just leave my job immediately to occupy in my own business, and I was fine with that.
But now I feel hollow, I feel that I had no purpose.
I had no friends, haven't got a girlfriend nor have sex since 2008. I still live with my parents, I do pay some bills tho.
I don't drink alcohol or do any kind of drugs, and I don't really want to.
I've always been an introvert. So hanging out with people is not something I want to do too m.
I just want to find a way to spice up my life some how.
how do I find motivation to do anything anymore?
Listen to anything from David choe, joe rogan, Duncan trussell and watch thumbs up series on YouTube.
Help yourself, help others, change your environment .. try harder work harder things changed for a reason look on the positive side. Where do you live? If USA I'd recommend getting a nice van or rv and taking a road trip along the west coast and desert. Be creative.
>>17328183
sadly I'm trapped in a 3rd world south american country and there's not much I can do about it.
Even trying to volunteer somewhere else would be really expensive and an investment I'm not willing to do at the moment.
I've been thinking on moving by my own for a chance, but I've never live by myself and doing it at the moment would be really hard monetary as I see it.
Thanks for your reply.
>>17328147
Is your first priority to get a job? Logically, I think it should be, especially because you don't have your own place yet, which makes me think you're financially dependent.
I would think that, if you enjoyed your line of work, then getting a job would also provide you with that self-fulfillment that you seem to need.
I've decided I will spend the rest of my life alone if I don't take action soon. I'm a 23 year old kissless virgin, mostly because I'm scared of embarrassing myself while interacting with women romantically.
Another big problem holding me back is living with my parents. We're living close enough to where I'm studying to communte and since a place to live in the city is expensive, staying at home seemed like the reasonable idea, most of my local friends did the same.
So, due to a complete lack of privacy at home, a childish room full of legos and living half an hour from the city where social life is happening, picking up girls and going to my place is out of the question.
I'm planning to move away for a 6 month internship in a different city in half a year and spend every minute of my free time on tinder, socializing and living with no regrets.
Now, I completely forgot what I wanted to ask, upon reading the above it seems like a solid plan. What do you guys say?
>>17328108
Dude, just put some effort into getting what you want. Life is effort. Don't spend the rest of your life missing out on something you want when it's actually quite accessible.
Before you can become a carpenter you need to cultivate skills and knowledge. Before you can get a girlfriend you need to cultivate skills and knowledge. The only thing stopping you is you.
Honestly, go for it.
Do you have the finances for it though? I would pick up some sort of social hobby, online apps won't do it all.
>>17328108
>I will spend the rest of my life alone if I don't take action soon.
>23 year old kissless virgin
>23
You fucking faggot you're still young. What? Are you going to cut yourself now?
Fucking drama queen.
Move out, get a job and then look for pussy. If you put in the effort to look good then getting some dumb female to open her legs for you shouldn't be that difficult but with that self pitying attitude I doubt any female would want to even get close to your dumb ass.
Focus on yourself before you even bother thinking about getting a gf or whatever.
I can't stop watching lesbian porn
and guys don't turn me on nearly as much as girls do. The thing is I only want to date guys and I can only fall in love with guys. Why is this my fate? I just want to be fucking straight. Is anybody else like this?
>>17327819
My wife is like this. what you enjoy porn wise and what you enjoy real life are 2 completely different things
Yes, there are lots of lesbians in denial.
>>17327819
Eventually the demon inside you will take over and your propensity to suck the souls out of men will take hold on your fragile sexuality
Templars, we must slay this demon while it is weakened
ON ME!
CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
>tl;dr
single father and my 7 year old girl still sleeps with me. Her teacher told me it "looks bad". Is it?
>be me
>4 years ago
>be 20
>get a letter that i may have a 3 y/o daughter, whose mother just passed away
>picture of girl makes it kind of obvious she is mine, paternity test confirms
>decide to take her in
>she is still afraid/sad because mommy is not there
>i let her sleep with me
>kind of assume she will eventually grow out of it, but no rush
>she doesnt
>recently she mentioned it off handidly to her teacher.
>teacher decides it looks bad and asks me thinly veiled questions
>convinced her it is completely wholesome, but she still mentioned it "looks bad"
Basically, is it bad that i still sleep with my 7 y/o daughter? Should i try to force her to sleep in her own room, or can i just continue to wait until she is comfortable with it on her own?
a) That teacher should mind their own fucking business. Your kid has had a rough time.
b) She does have to grow out of it eventually, maybe start encouraging her into her own bed.
>>17327690
It looks a little sketchy but it genuinely sounds like you just care about your daughter.
I would let her grow out of it at her own pace. She suffered something traumatic and awful- losing a mother and being uprooted to live with someone she's never met before. If it makes her happy, then let her.
I would ask her if she wants to sleep in her own room, but also let her know she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to. Let her decide. Don't let strangers decide for you.
I mean I wouldn't really go around telling people "yeah I sleep with my daughter" but it's not really something to hide either.
Also, kudos to you for being a really great dad. Keep it up.
>>17327703
I actually cant be mad at the teacher, because she had my daughters best interests at heart. As for encouraging her to sleep in her own bed, should i start now, or wait a little while more?
Ladies, I propose to you a hypothetical situation
Your boyfriend has a female friend he has known for years. They're very close and text each other a lot, sometimes about everyday things, but often about a rare niche interest they both have in common.
There are no signs of flirting, but this girl is extremely attractive (read: totally his type), and you find out at some point (he wasn't hiding, it just hadn't come up) that they have some romantic history, but it was brief and several years ago.
How do you handle this?
>>17327586
FUCK THAT
>>17327586
he's in a relationship with you. spends his time with you. he's intimate with you.
i'm assuming you have a past and have been with other guys. i'm sure he doesn't mind or judge you based on that information.
i suppose it's unsettling that a part of his sexual past is still around but unless you intend on giving him an ultimatum about this friend then i'm not sure what you intend on accomplishing besides making yourself out to be insecure and jealous.
he put his dick inside of that friend. she probably gargled his cum. maybe she's better in bed than you. perhaps she left him but he desperately wanted to continue being in her life.
who knows anon.
I would be ok with it if he made her a mutual friend.
Is there any acceptable way for someone who's transgender to approach you in a romantic context? Is there any way to NOT make it weird, or should I just wait to be approached at a bar or something, and take a wild guess when it's necessary to warn them ahead?
>>17327367
you should go see a therapist/psychologist.
>>17327367
If a transgendered person tried to convince me that they were female and led me on for awhile before telling me of their status I'd be pretty upset. I already don't agree with what you're doing to your body and definitely don't want to be intimate with whatever you got going on down there. Plus you're being pretty deceitful by conveniently avoiding telling me.
>>17327384
I have seen so many shrinks and psychologists that some of them were still in school when I started with the first.
They do agree that I can be allowed into treatments, it is only a matter of time now. I'm not going to go for some conversion therapy nonsense.
>>17327386
How long is "a while"? Let's say someone comes talk to me in a bar. Should I say it before we head home, or before I introduce myself? How do you make that not-awkward?
I posted the other day how I need to stop seeing escorts aka whores and that its a problem, that I do every 2 weeks lately.
Well over the past weekend I put my parking pass to work away so incase the hooker saw, and went to work this morning and they put a warning slip on my car :( do it again its a violation, I dont want to find out what that is.
I really gotta stop, I know girls especially on online dating s ites can be difficult but I'll only stick to that.
I fear that if I keep seeing these escorts, something worse could even happen.
>>17327336
I don't know what you're asking and why you think we can help you with it.
>>17327336
But it's so worth it, yeah? Nothing is better than pumping some banging hot girls tight body full of cum. The best part is you don't even gotta deal with her after. You could just fuck her again whenever you want. Seems pretty legit to me.
>>17327336
just stop seeing them you retard. do you have any idea how many steps you have to go through to locate, contact, meet, and fuck an escort? you can stop yourself at any point between getting horny and fucking the whore.
stop being so fucking weak.
>Be on holiday with fiancé and some of his extended family
>Everything is fine, family are all sweethearts and they're all close unlike my extended family
>Until his aunt, uncle and 3 cousins arrive
>Youngest is a 9 year old girl, we'll call her Nina I guess
>Fiancé and I are sitting in the lounge, relaxing
>9 year old cousin tells him to move down the sofa, he tells her no and that she should sit somewhere else, all playful and sweet
>She threatens that she'll sit on his lap and he calls her bluff
>I should add that... The way he talked to her, the tone, it kind of reminded me of how he flirts/flirted with me in the early days
>Any way, she sits right on his junk and wriggles about to be annoying.
>I see his eyes widen and he gives ME a sheepish look before he gives her the seat.
>She's super touchy feely/physically playful with him, way more than any other cousin
I feel sick, our wedding is this winter and I feel I've had a deal breaker thrown in my face at the WORST time.
Please, am I overthinking? Would I sound crazy if I confronted him?
>>17326819
HE IS BEING SWEET AND PLAYFUL WOTH HIS LITTLW COUSIN WHO PROBABLY DOESNT KNOW WHAT SEX IS. Jesus Christ fuck off dude
>OP finds a great guy to marry
>great guy shows his fatherly traits by being sweet with his young cousin
>OP assumes he's a pedophile
You need to get the fuck off this site for a while
>>17326819
>Please, am I overthinking?
Good god yes. Not every grown man that let's a child relative sit on his lap is a fucking pedophile you psycho. He was obviously uncomfortable with what she was doing if he gave her the seat, and little girls are always grinding and wiggling their butts on stuff because it feels good to them.
Christ you've been on the internet too long.
so im thinking of telling my wife to get a bf on the side so i can watch her get fucked but afraid of her reaction anyone ever go through this ? Pic related
>>17326547
>but afraid of her reaction
she will lose all respect for you and eventually stop being attracted to you.
God, what on earth would make you want to be such a literal cuck? Have you no self-respect?
>>17326583
Just think it would be hot watching her suck cock
>>17326612
Then set up a camera dude. Holy shit. You're pathetic.
Can a fat girl be aver pretty or is it a tumblr batshit propaganda? I mean fat, not chubby btw
>>17326144
The only people who are willing to have fatties are kissless virgins who have virgin beer goggles on, or other ugly/fat people.
>>17326144
>Can a fat girl ever be pretty
If she loses some weight so you can observe her facial structure and body features without seeing folds and chunks. That's not to say some dudes don't like fatties aesthetically, but it doesn't seem terribly common.
Yes, it is legitimately possible. Although it depends on the girl.
Either way, loss of weight is still advised for health reasons, not aesthetic ones, as obesity can bring serious problems.
>Tfw bf has penis that can fit in, but is too big to be comfortable.
>Tfw every guy I've ever met who has a proper sized small useful penis is into femdom and humiliation over it for some reason.
>Tfw I can never find a guy with both a small penis and an aggressive attitude.
Where the fuck are they? They have to exist, right?
Yeah.
We're typically pedophiles, though.
I hope you're alright with wearing elegant lolita dresses and calling men "daddy".
>>17322382
How small are we talking?
Try /soc/.
Yesterday I had a bad presentation in my philosophy class and was berated by my instructor in front of the whole class for it. I made my preparations and wholeheartedly studied my topic/material for days but I just couldn't for the life of me deliver in a class setting. Not only was I assaulted by my social anxiety but my mind went pretty much blank the whole time. I was stumbling over my words and I failed to make any concise points so I eventually ended up just reading everything on my slides until the whole thing is over. I prepared notes written on a piece of paper that would supposedly help me navigate through the presentation but I got lost over them and I just couldn't make my mind function then. I REALLY did my best but I just couldn't give a presentation in a huge crowd even when my life depended on it.
I don't even care for any advice on how I could deliver a better presentation but how can I cope with the reality that I'll never amount to anything because I'm an autistic loser?
learn from your mistakes
try, fail, try, fail better
if it makes you feel any better i did my 4th year undergrad thesis presentation the day my dog got hit by a car
i didn't stand up, i mumbled and probably cried between slides, i didn't answer questions
i got ripped apart but still walked away with a 90 final grade
I did it by being less serious about everything. You need to find some you're comfortable with when having a presentation. So have your presentation go about dank memes or dead hedgehoges or some memes specific for your country. If I weren't known as the goofy kid (and I mean in the cool sense, not the "what a fucking idiot" sense), I probably wouldn't have been remembered very well at all, as sad as that sounds. Surely you must able to talk smoothly to your friends and family, right? So talk about something so stupid that the class-setting dissapears altogether.
For the record, I wasn't as much of an autistic loser as you are probably, so I'm not sure this works.
i do all the finances in the house
i've been out of work since october
>he believes i'm on pogey and have $10000 in savings
i do not, it's gone, i thought i'd be back at work by now
i can
>use his money and keep the house running until i get work (i'm on a union list, it's only a matter of time) and he won't notice or
>tell the truth and upset him but the outcome will be the same
wat do?
>>17329350
Outcome will be same what's difference if you tell him?
Tell him. Most divorces are due to a lack of financial trust between couples. Plus if he isn't willing to support you financially when you need it, why the fuck are you with him?
>>17329366
>>17329369
risk/benefit
i know he's willing to support me but i don't know if it's worth bringing up since he doesn't internet bank or even open his pay stubs so the chances of him actually figuring this out are incredibly low
i don't like lying but i also don't like upsetting people
>give me the best of both worlds
![male_female_night[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/clu8uWk.jpg "male female night[2]")
