Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 169. page
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i have this fear of calling some people on the phone and talk about important topics.
i generally don´t like getting called except by a few chosen people in my life - i guess because i have a fear to not being able to think about stuff said and react properly in time
i just had to call my landlord and i was extremely nervous because i was missing 15 bucks from my rent and asked him if it´s possible to pay those next month.
eventually it all worked out and he was cool with it but still, every time i have to call companies for job offers or strangers because of other topics i am really scared of the call.
does anyone know how to get rid of this problem?
have you ever been there too?
Find 1800 numbers for random products that you own and talk to their customer service representatives. Maybe even record yourself to hear what you sound like and see what can be improved on.
>>17329672
Great advice.
Wouldn't record yourself though, no one likes hearing their own voice played back.
>>17329668
I have the same problem. I have absolutely no problem talking to strangers in person, but over the phone is always hard for me. I usually imagine the person I'm calling is sitting at the other end of the table with me or we're taking a walk together, then I just walk back and forth between the kitchen to the living room. I pretend they can see me and make gestures and do facial expressions and at the same time I'm visualizing the stranger and their gestures and expressions.
When I was first told to try this I thought that's a lot of things to focus on at once while already being nervous, but it felt pretty natural quickly, especially if you have a picture of the person you're calling.
Last thread: >>17323583
darling, I will be yourd wife. I do
>>17329647
J,
I am so fucking in love with you. I never told you, because I am really an idiot, but holy fucking shit. You're literally the best thing that ever happened to me.
I need to wake up next to your stupid face every day for the rest of my life.
Yours,
M.
J
Still alive?
Halp
>be me
>friend with this girl for 8-9 months
>never found her attractive
>i friendzoned her, she friendzoned me. it's the best friendship ever, i swear.
>hang out alot, calls me everyday
>been with her at a pub yesterday
>she was talking about a douche that she wanted to invite next week here to hok up again, but in my presence
>"Fuck him" i say (after 7 beers). "I feel a little jealousy here?" she asks, "Just a little"
>she waited my bus with me at 5 in the morning 'cause idk why but she did it
>arrive home
>sleep
>DREAM.GIF
----
>dream about me and her having the best time of our lifes
>suddenly i am on a plane
> think about my feelings for her, i never said that i loved her. never said the real feels
>have a bad feeling about the plane, it starts to move. i am starting to regret more that i didnt told her how much i love her.
>it crashes and i die, go to a place. start crying like crazy, some dude hugs me and say "there will always be a "too late", but not now"
>have other 3 fucking same dreams, but with different crashes. one with a truck, one with the plane just falling and one with a broken wing that led to a fire
>in each dream i had the occasion to tell her i love her, but i didn't and everytime i regreted
idk what is this... but it's making me feel strange. i've had a girlfriend for like 7 months, but.. this is another type of feeling. what the fuck. what do i do? i don't want to break the friendship with her for a fucking relationship. it's the best friendship i've ever had, and i had many friends, but apparently a part of me want a relatinship. idk why... i need help.. what do i do
It was just a dream ffs. It means nothing.
Smoke pot and jack off thinking about her baka senpai
I've had something quite similar
For me, it never really interfered with anything regarding out friendship (or workplace status since we work together) but it definitely put a new perspective on things. You sound much happier to be in a friendship so there's no reason to ruin that for either of you.
Ignore it. It might feel weird for a couple weeks but it will fade in time.
Alright, friends. I need help. I need your help.
For a while now, I've been a negative person. Often unhappy with how things are and pretty vocal about it. I used to go on about how my life sucks and whatnot. This led many people that are dear to me to distance themselves, including my now ex-wife(although this isn't the sole reason for the divorce, but this post isn't about that).
I'm not going to list the reasons I think my life sucks, that's probably counter productive.
Oftentimes, I have these intrusive negative thoughts, such as "I want to put a bullet in my head" or "Going on isn't worth it". But I don't want to kill myself, as much as I do struggle to find reasons to go on. Not only that, sometimes when I leave a certain someone a message, and they don't reply right away, replying after several hours, I get greatly upset. Logically, there's no reason for that, at least not immediately obvious ones.
Friends, bottom line is: I'm a negative person and I want to change. I need to change. How do I do that? Pic may be related, hell if I know.
Thank you for reading.
i was depressed in my youth, here is what I do different since then:
>find things you like
for me i came to the conclusion, that i find it fascinating, how people grow up from a child to a humble human beeing, and even if I would never achieve anything, i would still not kill myself for the sole purpose that I want to watch kids grow.
I put off the preasure i and my parents put on me. I basically said, it's ok if I am not the center of attention, if I dont play the main role in the world. It's enough if I am an bystander who just watches and enjoys.
Since then I'm not depressed anymore.
>So what are things you like?
Since then I also have no regrets doing what i like, I love computers and love building them. nobody will ever take that away from me.
Once you learn to see the big things positive, you will also start to do the same with small things. When my GF doesnt message me back right away, i think that she is bussy, which is good.
Try to find a positive explanation for everything you are unsure off.
e.g. If your wife doesn't tell you about her meeting a guy, don't assume she tries to hide it from you (which is a negative thought) but just aswell, she could think it's not a big deal, because she loves you so much.
This has implications for a relationship. When you educate children and trat them like unreasonable little shits, thats what they are gonna be, but if you treat them like little adults, you educate them to become adults.
A relationship works good, when you think positive about your partner, and yes, you can change the way you act. just as much as you could beat her, but dont, you can give her compliments but dont.
>>17329653
This does put things into perspective. It's true I didn't compliment her as much as I should have, or encouraged her or simply been there for her. I'll try and work on making my interpersonal relationships more positive.
I have no passions for hobbies, other than playing video games and GMing for my friend(s). I do plan on learning more skills and reading more books.
Thank you for your input, friend.
>>17329659
how old are you?
sports is always great, having friends iRL is great aswell, a lot of guys are lonely and the best quality to become a friend is listening.
it has come to the point where the funniest things I've said are from others and this just fucks me up
how do I stop and start being more funny myself
>>17329636
Join an improv club. It'll help you learn to think on your feet.
>>17329637
And do what in the improv club? It wouldn't make much sense if I already rarely make good jokes by myself
or i just don't know how improv clubs work
I guess that's not an option though because I doubt there are any in my country
>>17329642
You aren't open to new ideas. I'm willing to bet you are stuck in the same ideas and values in life as well. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but coming up with something clever or taking a different twist on something is difficult with your mindset.
Once you get over the public speaking barrier, improv is simple to get into. Just say yes to everything.
So basically I'm falling out of love with my girlfriend. I cant do it anymore. Should I break up with her? And if so how should I do it?
got any more context to the situation?
>>17329620
I have a massive exam year next year and I will not have time to see her. She lives far away from me. I also want to focus on my future.
>>17329625
do you not see her as part of your future?
Will she understand why you will not have time to see her?
is this just bait that I have fallen for just now?
Hey,
so i finally have a girlfriend for the first time. Shes experienced and im obviously not. When we tried having sex, i was erect but i could not maintain my boner. This happened 2 times and now she thinks somethings wrong with me. Shes really hot and i get a boner almost every time we are together but i simply cant hold it. On the one hand I think it has something to do with my psychological condition, i have a depression and im currently under high pressure. On the other hand i have a really strong fetish, but i cant really tell her because she is annoyed by guys like me. I also stopped watching porn but it didnt really help. What can i do?
Thanks for your help, i really appreciate it.
more foreplay, get her to calm you down
>>17329607
Im not nervous, but i always have in mind that i cant satisfy her even though she gets really wet.
Our foreplay was really long and thats the phase where my dick gets flaccid.
>>17329602
what kind of fetish?
your situation reminds me of mine
I've been with my gf for 6 months. Few days ago she started to work in a coroporation for summer. She's in a group with one girl and two guys. How do I stop being insecure about her spending time with these guys?
>>17329594
Do you expect her to not come in contact with any male other than you for the duration of your relationship or something?
>>17329596
No. I think I'm just insecure because of all these stories about cheating I read and heard.
>>17329661
Stop reading or hearing stories of cheating
people telling me to shave and get a job.
>>17329590
Get a job i dont want to waste my taxes on you.
I don't care about the shave unless you look homeless or smth.
Just get laser removal instead? It's not that expensive nowadays.
>>17329590
Go shave and get a job, fucking useless.
I feel like I'm on the verge of making a really bad financial decision because depression.
I really wanna buy a motorcycle so I can live free, die whenever. Is it possible to hook up a trailer to a cycle or nah? Like in the case I'd have to move
>>17329585
Eh man I did that too when I was 20. Got rear ended, bike totaled, nearly killed through no fault of my own. Just some idiot woman texting and driving.
Get a pickup, you can throw all your shit in it if you need to move or sleep in the bed under the stars if you want.
>>17329589
I'm sorry to hear that. It wasn't even your fault. Do pickup trucks run on diesel or gas? I just have a normal ford sedan. I've never driven something on diesel before
i bought a motorbike when i was my poorest ever
i think it really lifted me out of a mental funk and the financial demand of motorcycles since then (i now own 5) has kept me going on a pretty happy, productive tract
don't get me wrong, when they get fucked up you'll also be fucked up but if it's what you enjoy, it's worth it
So I'm in such a predicament and don't really know what to do.
>have female best friend of about 14 years now (I'm male)
>we have experimented sexually together quite a few times back in our teens
>always kept the sexual stuff kinda separate from our friendship and never dated or anything
>she's been in a relationship for a couple years now
>going through rough spot in the relationship so she invites me over to help cheer her up so she's not sad and alone
>end up having just a fun and good night (nothing sexual happened)
>put on a movie and I fall asleep about halfway through
>she gets a phone call and it wakes me up
>she doesn't realize I wake up
>it's her boyfriend
>pretend to sleep and overhear their conversation
>he's trying to fix up the rough patch and asks if it's he could just come over and work it out in person
>she tells him it's not really a good time
>he replies with "oh so you're with anon?"
>she tells him we're just hanging out and watching a movie
>he gets all pissy and upset cause I guess he's just jealous/uncomfortable with how close of friends we are
>asks her if she loves me
>hesitation from her
> "yes... No... I don't know. Can we just talk about this some other time?"
>rest of the call isn't really important
So she doesn't know that I heard their phone call and I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin our friendship or anything and I kind of feel the same way but I also don't even really know how I feel. I've just been distraught since. Advice?
Anal fuck her beastly. Show her u rep u alpha dog
>>17329582
Man I'd love to get back on that piece of ass but I just don't know if all the headache that would cause would be worth it
It's totally worth it life moves on and of them will learn a valuable lesson. Arse fuck her though. No kids no unwanted commitment.
How do I stop being an edgelord?
>>17329567
You must fully realize and embrace the innermost darkness residing in your cold, black heart. Then you must find a passion in which you ignite a fire of which that brings light within your soul. As that happens, your innermost apocalypse will begin, with every ounce of your soul and mind combating each other from within, fighting a brutal battle where blood will be shed. Either the light will win and bring you back into the world of which your physical body currently resides in, or the darkness shall take you to the worst path in which you will find yourself awakening in the spirit world of nothingness. It's limbo. No hell. No heaven. Just pure nothingness that only Bhudda finds peace in.
You do not want to become the nothingness.
Bring light to yourself. Consume light more than darkness. Shove a flashlight into your asshole.
>>17329567
1. Go to Old Navy
2. Buy clothes and wear them
3. Throw away all clothes and accessories you own.
>>17329695
That takes care of looking like one but the behavior remains that's the problem
I'm considering plastic surgery, or more specifically some form of facial liposuction to reduce the fatness of my face.
I was also considering a nose job.
Has anyone else on this board ever had cosmetic surgery? Did it make anything any better, or was it a disappointment?
I've just recently turned 18, and I've been struggling to do normal things such as talk to checkout assistants, or ask for help in stores due to my ridiculous insecurities.
I wish.
I lost 189 pounds of obese now i have all this excess skin everywhere and i feel uglier than i did fat.
If only i could get rid of all that skin
>>17329533
Go to a shrink you pussy
Might want to get therapy
6 months ago while travelling around the globe I met a girl that was quite special and what started out as harmless fun has developed into something serious which has been both very good and quite sad. But more than that, it has made me reflect on the way I live my life as a whole and I'm starting to think I really need to change my mind set entirely and that's where I need your advice.
So basically I met a local girl while I was travelling, we had a great time and I kept seeing her again and again and I was satisfied just being there with her that I completely put my travels on hold and bummed around for many, many months in a place that I knew wasn't good for me with a girl I knew I could never make a serious relationship work with. Now I've had to move on due to work, and I'm thinking about what happened and feel terrible about having wasted my time and gotten so far of track even though I had a great time and was very happy during that period of time.
However, I realize that I have a strong tendency to just go with the flow, whenever I meet someone I like or have a good bunch of people to hang out with then I completely put my plans and goals aside to desperately cling on to that connection and make it last as long as I can. Eventually, they move on with their lives and doing what they want to do while I'm left behind moaning about the good time that has come to an end. I think this is a pretty pathetic approach to life on my side and I really need to start taking charge of my life, go my way and pursue my goals. That seems like a confident, strong mentality.
cont.:
>>17329532
Op cont.:
This then led me to realize that the issue probably lies in the fact that I don't really have any goals to pursue or a plan for my life to go on with. I'm just floating about like a flag in the wind going with whatever makes me happy for the moment because I simply don't know what to do with myself, what I really want and how to get it.
And then that further led me to realize that the real problem is my depressing, nihilistic perception of life that nothing I do really matters, it's all just pointless and worthless and we all just die anyway. I just don't care much about anything. Not enough to put any effort into it or try to change anything about it. Might as well just get the most fun out of it while it lasts. And that's just what I do, I've done just enough to get through school, got bored of everything back home, didn't want to go the average joe's career path so I fucked off to travel. And I don't even think I enjoy travelling much, I just want to get away from friends and relatives judging me for doing fuck all with my life. Also, these days I really don't like being alone anymore. I don't care much about what I do or don't do but I really just want to do it together with someone. Makes everything so much more fun. But that's a stupid mindset because I can't depend on others for my own happiness.
I don't really know where I'm going with this. That's just my thought process and I'm working on a way of fixing my life, find some sort of motivation and grow a pair and go on my path. Any thoughts or advice on any of my rambling is highly appreciated.
>>17329532
Hey I've been there before. The best thing to do is to learn to let go, I just live in the moment and don't dwell on the past or future. Of course still have friends, but don't be clingly once they have passes on.
>pizza boy
>deliver to this rich looking mansion
>hot 40 yo answers door in a dressing gound, half her breasts showing
>asks me how my night has been "good thanks how about yours?" "not too bad, could be better"
>starts licking her lips and giving me puppy dog eyes
>husband rock up to the door and gives me a smile "hey anon, what do you think of my wife"
>"she's a 11/10"
>looks at me like a weirdo and slams the door in my face
wtf is this shit? what kind of bullshit? did he expect me to further say "hey let me have a go bro, you dont mind do you?!"
Well, could be better, indeed.
pic related.
what am i missing in this scenario?
>>17329497
Perhaps they just wanted to fool around with the naive delivery boy
