Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1674. page
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why is it so hard to get a fucking girlfriend?
Go away.
Because you need to talk to girls to get a girlfriend and you don't do that.
Because your an ugly fag
ok /adv/ i need some advice.
1. Assume I have no social experience
2. Assume I can not read other peoples body language
3. Please give advice in simple step by step instructions.
So, I've been dating this girl for the last month or so, we are both unbelievably awkward and dates mainly consist of watching tv and very few words spoken to each other. Recently she has indicated to me that she was hoping that i was going to kiss her last time. (of course I didn't pick up on the cues). How exactly does this work? How do you kiss a girl. Ho do you go from sitting on a couch with her to kissing her? How is that transition made? What do I do? I want to kiss her, She wants to kiss me, but we are both to awkward to just do it.
You can think of it as instinctual, when you're lips are moving in inches from someone else's they get the message. She'll be kissing before she knows it.
As far as moving towards her is concerned, just lean over, roll her over, get her to face you, put her on top, whatever you need to do. Keep kissing, not with closed lips obviously. It doesn't have to be constant though, you can pull back slightly to stop, and then start again, if you want.
If you somehow manage to pause awkwardly during this it shouldn't matter, you both know you're awkward.
Just wondering OP but how old are you?
1. Be physically close.
2. Look at her and smile.
3. Lean in, tilt your head a little so you don't bump into her nose.
4. Kiss. Go slowly and don't think too much about the movement you're trying to make. It'll be weird at first but you'll find your rhythm.
5. If awkward failure, just repeat. The cool thing about kissing someone is that even if you fuck up they'll usually let you try again and again and again.
I'm I an alcoholic if I order pizza hut drunk on a routine basis? I think they've blocked my number...
>>16776608
I can order pizza for you if you need me too. Also please retype your post. Either you're drunk, don't speak English, or both
>>16776618
I>>16776618
'm drunk as fuck...its the only time I talk. Even my closest friends dare tread this tier.
>>16776618
don't think you want muh numba dawg....it be NY
There are 3 people in my AP Spanish class, one of them is the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. I want to ask her out but I'm afraid she'll say no and then the rest of the school year will be awkward since I sit right next to her.
just man up and tell her you're into her, better than thinking what would of happened if you did
>>16776605
>really liked girl in high school
>basically perfect for each other
>too beta to do anything, unsure if she liked me too
>now that i'm older i realize she totally did
>she's been in a relationship ever since
>tfw you blew your chance
Just fucking do it bruh. Either she likes you and that's great or she doesn't and you can move on.
>>16776605
Just be careful to not put her on a pedestal. It's easier to talk to someone when you're not frothing over them.
As for talking to her, bring up something about class. Notes, a test, something like that. Starting is always the hardest part.
I broke off contact with all of my friends more than a year ago, changed my phone number and all that. I did it because I had feelings for one of them (I already confessed but was rejected, we wanted to remain friends) and slowly started developing violent tendencies and fantasies. I was seriously afraid of hurting her or the people around me at some point so I stopped seeing them and shut myself in basically. I think I've grown quite a bit as a person over the last year or so, and while I'm still depressed and lonely I think I'd have that under control now.
So my question is, was I right to do that (I don't think they took it seriously but it genuinely freaked me out back then) from a moral standpoint? And should I crawl back to them (it all ended in a fight the last time I saw them when we had the falling out) and maybe seek their attention/friendship again? Nearly 2 years is a pretty long time after all.
And yes, the obvious response is that I should get my mental health under control, see a therapist, etc. I'm aware.
>>16776582
No way of knowing until you start talking to them again, OP.
Keep it in mind that it's been more than a year,, as you have changed so have them.
Old jokes will work half the times you use them, and expect that your new ones may not work.
Just keep it cool and be you. They were once your friends for a reason, people change, but they don't become someone else.
>>16776599
I don't even know how to initiate a conversation again to be honest, I think I even wrote a message to one of them after seeing (and ignoring) him on public transport, it was cringeworthy and emotional and way too long. Didn't get a reply (or he changed his phone number at some point, totally possible).
So, yeah. How do you talk to someone when the last time you saw them was nearly 2 years ago and you were telling them to fuck off and that you don't want to see them ever again?
>>16776603
Well, I had a similar situation going for a few years. Basically, fell for a girl, she lives in another state. Tell her anyway, she tells me she'll give me a chance. Some weeks later she gets a bf. I get destroyed.
Fast foward 2 years, she messaged me asking how was I doing and such. I had forgotten about her and didn't feel anything for her anymore. However she had changed a lot as well. We started studying different fields when we got to college and nowadays we text sometimes.
Yes, it doesn't sound good. But she still lives far away and we're both very busy. Anyway, you said you saw your friend. Interactions in real life are usually easier to work, as you can hang out and not just text.
Finally, I'd just message one of them like "Hey Anon, how are you doing?" or similar approach. No need to be afraid, don't be too desperate though. Just act normal and things will be fine!
What shall I do this guy has been racist to my child and I don't know what to do about it, however a guy which I know had his in ip address so he sent it to me
>>16776581
Are you black?
>>16776585
Could be a dunenigger
>>16776581
Did this guy actually DO anything to your kid, or did he just say racist shit on the Internet?
Make the punishment fit the crime
so i'm autistic (big surprise; diagnosed and everything)
would this help me get into college/net me some scholarships?
i'd like input/advice from other spergs on the subject if possible
Probably not.
There might be scholarships for people with high-functioning autism, though, so you should look into those.
I want our kids to have zoobook and highlights subscription
Can I get a huge loan for a nice wedding? And ring? On already shit shit shit shit credit?
>I want our kids to have zoobook and highlights subscription
So now I want to get both her sisters pregnant as well, can I do that?
Also should I get her a boob job?
>this image
Suicide yourself while it's early.
>>16776535
Is that your weed?
Plant sell plant sell
You're gonna get nowhere smoking that shit
Ive been a NEET for a decade. I want to lock myself away for a few weeks in order to study for my upcoming GED test (if i do very well I get college credit and stuff,) study Japanese, workout, quit video games/watching porn cold turkey. Ive heard 21 days is the avg amount to set a new habit.
Do you guys think it'd be possible to develop these good habits and stop the bad ones for 21 days? Any advice?
I hope it's possible. I'm in a similar situation, but I fear that everything is hopeless because I just lack any semblance of self control at this point. Every time I try to make a resolution to abstain from the computer or do something productive, I just end up giving in to mindless pleasures. Personally I think a lifetime of engaging in mindless pleasures without putting in any effort has rewired my brain in a way that makes it very difficult to change. I hope you have more discipline than I do.
So, just went on Youtube and there was on those most watched videos a certain "Would you rather have friends or an iPhone?" caught my eyes.
DO PLEBS REALLY CONSIDER EXCHANGING FRIENDS FOR IPHONES?
>>16776493
Depends on the 'friends'.
>>16776493
That's completely ridiculous.
Android phones are far superior
Depends how literally you want to take that question, even though it's obviously click bait shit.
What if you need your phone for your job?
What if your friends are shit?
What if you need your phone for other important services like emergencies?
>get word from friend a to hang out at store
>pick up friend b
>arrive
>person I hate shows up
>says event is happening
>person I hate is hosting event
>both friends know this
>abandon me to play in event
>left with nothing to do
I hate this. How do I not making shit friends?
>>16776488
Find someone with good values, find people who normally dont do anything, if you in highschool this happens to a lot of people someone says they want to link up, then when the event starts they dont wanna go, they dont bring you, then you find out your friend then you find them posted on frankblock with their fucking gang
I arrived at the conclusion that sex is beyond me. Better than me. That there's something wrong with me because I can't have it. I tell myself that I also don't need it. That it isn't important for me and relationships would only serve to destroy me. I see myself as being incapable sexually, yet capable of other things. I control my sexual desires rather than them controlling me. I ponder on how amazing sex could be if I could experience it on the highest level.
I became a wizard time ago. I mostly ignored ever having a sex life. Now I feel as if it is no longer available to me. That I've become too old and undesirable. The undesirable part being a fault I recognize as my own. I don't dress up much or go out. My life is kept simple and uneventful. Something makes me think that I can't enjoy life without a crucial part of it in place. I don't have sex so it seems to rib me of a certain part necessary for a good life.
How misled am I? How much of a problem do I have because I avoid sex and relationships?
Since you are only talking about sex here, and not romantic sex. What exactly is stopping you from seeing a prostitute? You could hire one in your own country or go to a foreign country to have fun.
How old are you exactly?
>>16776494
I don't want a prostitute since there can be some risks involved regardless of preventative measures.
I stop myself from having sex since my dictation is that I wouldn't be good enough and I couldn't learn how. I am fearful of deep connection.
I am 32 years old. I think being of this age is a contributing factor against my eligibility for sex because I am completely inexperienced with sex at my age.
>there can be some risks involved regardless of preventative measures.
Does it honestly matter at this point? Literally man just YOLO it doesn't even matter. Do you really want to keep going on like this if it's bothering you so much? And also experience, so what? You are making some pretty weak excuses if this is something you really want man.
You have Three options. You need to pick one right now.
- Fuck a hooker and learn sex isn't that big a deal
- Start signing up for dating sites or networking and meeting people, Find your partner
- Carry on this silly struggle and keep doing nothing you change yourself
Choose wisely.
So, /adv/, any hypocondriacs here who want to share methods to "just like chill"? I'm being ultra paranoid because I'm afraid the constipation and slightly impacted colon I just got visited for two days ago might be worse than initially thought and that before the 6 days of therapy the doc prescribed me I'm going to die an explosive, brown and smelly death. Granted it already happened to me and lasted much longer, but my intestine didn't hurt that much the one time it happened two years ago.
In all seriousness though, because of a previous trauma I'm fucking horrified by the perspective of being in a hospital, mostly because it would disrupt my routine so much.
And I have a couple of important university exams coming up. AND THE PROM IS TOMORROW!
HEY
HEY
HEY
LISTEN.
Anon, we're all going to die. Why the fuck are you worrying about what's going to kill you? Sure, prevent your death as long as you can, but it's going to happen. If you end up with an illness that cuts your life in half, fucking whatever man. You're wasting the (very short) amount of time you have on this stray blue planet worrying about the inevitable. SNAP OUT OF IT!
>>16776502
That's why I'm worried to waste time in whatever therapy or hospital. Everyone I know gives me shit about being paranoid about my health, considering I've gone through much, much worse stuff, but I think they see it more as a "Oh you must be afraid of being hurt or dying". I'm more concerned with wasting time being hospitalized or otherwise incapacitated.
Every moment I'm not studying, learning, having fun or shitposting on my favourite chinese cartoon website feels wasted, doubly so if I have to feel like crap for a while as well.
>>16776562
See, that's the thing man. Waste is subjective. Your entire life is a cumulative series of good/bad/exciting/boring/etc. events. Spending time in the hospital or therapy or what have you isn't a "waste", it's just another experience.
Roll with it.
Can I get some advice on how to safely and efficiently fist my own anus?
Some people are dealing with very serious and painful issues can you please refrain from posting inane ramblings. Thank you.
http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-78268-Hulk-Smash-Hands/dp/B000XUA6KG
>>16776457
Holy fuck im crying
I think i have some brain problem. I get bored very fast and lose my interest about anything. Sometimes I just look in van and I think I stop thinking. My brain goes too slowly sometimes. Any advice to improve it?
Ps. I am prety lazy.
>>16776399
Pick up jogging every morning or exercise more often.
