Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1669. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1669. page
hey guys.. I will probably get a job next week as a seller in a computer and entertainment store. on one side I'm happy as I will finally get a job and will be able to work in a field that i love - computers, peripherals, vidya etc.. on the other hand i have a case of social anxiety so I'm worried how i will deal with clients and so on..
Was anyone in similar situation? I'd like some advices.. I'm 21, Thanks in advance
>>16778312
Well.
I worked in an office supply store that specialized in computers,phones and god damn office supplies. Had a small case of social anxiety too, but mostly solved after that.
Interested in listening in?
>>16778323
Definitely, please share
focus on your job. Speak using your knowledge, rely on your strengths. You'll be fine.
'mild social anxiety' is well within the range of normal. You'll be fine.
How to get rid of a crush and stop being infatuated? It's a stupid annoying feel and its ruining my comfy apathy.
>>16778299
I'm in the same shoes as you are,
I've tried to cut contact, i.e blocking them, but i always end up getting back like a runaway dog. I've also tried quarreling with the person said, didn't work out. It's so damn distracting, and i feel as a much weaker person when i'm in love.
Sorry no advice.
>>16778299
>>16778784
>find another gril you beta xD
That's the only answer you'll ever get here
>>16778299
Meditate on the thought that girls come and go. There are lots of them and since it's only a crush, it's not like you're passing up the one and only. Might be a can of worms instead.
Or just ask her out and hit your apathetic rock bottom cold turkey.
TL;DR; Focus on all the other pretty girls.
I really need some advice, i just had a conversation with my girlfriend of 3 years about us and it just made me feel like crap. Recently i've noticed she has been seeing her friends a lot more than usual and re-connecting with older friends, going to festivals, getting high all the time and the time we spend together has felt like filler until her next hang session with her friends.
I brought it all up with her because it has started to get to me a lot, and she basically confirmed my fears, she has noticed it too and believes its because she has felt like her friends lift her up and are generally more fun to hang with because they share similar interests.
This hurt me a lot but i just pushed forward and talked about us and why we should even continue if this is how she feels and i think once it got more serious she started back peddling a bit and saying it could be a phase and that she does actually enjoy her time with me and is conflicted a lot of the time as to who to see.
I'm just lost, i told her i needed to just dwell on everything a bit and i would see her tomorrow, im just in a terrible state and hurt by it all. She wants to move forward and try to see me more but it makes me feel guilty, like im smothering her, i just want us to see each other because thats what we both want.
>>16778282
A little more info, she says she often feels like shes missing out because her friends nearly always are together, and sometimes when shes with me we dont have a whole lot to do.
>>16778282
>she has noticed it too and believes its because she has felt like her friends lift her up and are generally more fun to hang with because they share similar interests.
Well shit OP. This has happened to me too and it ended with us breaking up over it amiably.
>it got more serious she started back peddling a bit and saying it could be a phase and that she does actually enjoy her time with me and is conflicted a lot of the time as to who to see.
Ehhh. She still isnt saying that she prefers your company to that of her friends. I would say that her argumentation revolved around the basis of "i need more time to know what i want" which, to me, = stalling.
> She wants to move forward and try to see me more but it makes me feel guilty, like im smothering her, i just want us to see each other because thats what we both want.
Sounds like what most people want out of a relationship, thing is that you need both parties to want that..
I can only tell you OP that sometimes things and people change and that they have a right to do so, as they are their own person with their own hopes and dreams.
I understand you being hurt very well, but i would advise you to think very well about what to do next.
When i was in your position i dragged it out with my partner for at least 5 months or longer, which i really shouldnt have, looking back up on it.
I would advise you to take a walk outside, if you can, and to just think about what you want from life and if you want to spend it with somebody that would rather spend their time with friends etc.
Listen to music too, but do something active for at least 30 minutes so that you wont feel like complete shit.
Good luck OP.
>>16778313
Thank you, this is such a strange feeling. I don't doubt that she wants to stay together and does love me, but i dont like feeling second best. But at the same time i love her and dont want to break up, i almost wish she would do it for me so i dont have to, but she doesnt want to, so i'm left with just seeing how it goes from here...
My ex hasn't replied to me in 11/12 days now since we sort of half-assedly broke up/got into an argument. I left a few kind of lengthy-ish messages saying "hey im worried pls message me" or "this isn't fair please lets talk this out" etc. *At this point I've realized it's over* HOWEVER, I wanted the last thing said between us to be bitter sweet. I'm aware it might seem pathetic (too late) but i don't want to seem like i'm still holding on, or super bitter, or sad. Something like "you might not read this but i know it will probably be the last thing i say to you. things got weird, mainly because blah blah, but i dont want to focus on that i just want you to know i was sincere, i just want to say thank you for all the good times (name off examples) i think i was a good partner, although i do sincerely apologize for being rude about this thing, thanks for everything and good luck in school, wherever you end up going to."
Is this a good idea? Or should I just wait a week and see if I get a response?
>>16778207
just leave your ex alone
OP here honestly at this point I am ready to let go, but reading the actual message I conjured in notepad made me tear up a bit and think of the good times and it's always so hard to say final goodbyes no matter who it is...
>>16778212
i just wanted to say a final good bye :/ to feel like the air is cleared and no hard feelings
Trying to come up with ideas on financing the restoration of a 1886 home. It still has the original wallpaper, floors, 30's kitchen/bathrooms, original woodwork, original wood windows, etc...
It is going to be expensive, any advice on ways to help raise money to afford it?
>>16778202
The state of Illinois used to have a special grant and/or cheap mortgage for just that sort of thing. Your state might have something like that.
Prostitution is nice
>>16778202
2,408 Sq/Ft
1 Acre Lot
4 Bedroom 2 Bath
Finished Basement with Den, 2 Bedrooms, Kitchenette, Wash Room, Boiler Room.
We paid $55,000 for it, and it is in great shape other than needing a new roof and some minor water damage repair.
Updating, another issue. 1930's kitchen, 1940's bathrooms... *sigh*
i just realized that i haven't had sex with my boyfriend for four days
we usually do it every two days
what's wrong? we probably would have fucked yesterday but he had to go drive a friend home from a drink up and i was asleep by the time he came home
Nigger chill, everything is fine.
>>16778199
relax girl. If you are worried by this much just jump on him the next time you see him.
If youre really this worried, talk to him about it. What man would say no to a discussion of "do you want more sex???"
Damn you emotional.
>>didn't have sex with gf for 4 months
>>didn't really feel like it
>>at some point i recalled she never initiated anything
>>so i decided to wait until she initiates
>>didn't happen
>>broke up with her over some bullshit reason
don't worry 4 days is nothing
Beanbag chairs: are they good for your back?
Are they comfy? I've never met an office chair that I felt comfortable in, probably because I am a tallfag, and I don't want to get back pain later in life.
>>16778195
Talk to a doctor about this. Its good that youre at least thinking about this.
>>16778224
I don't trust random doctors and I don't really know any good ones unless it's related to sports injuries. Not really an option.
>>16778253
Youre a hyppocrite. You dont trust people that worked 8+ years to earn their license to work this profession, but you trust random faggots on an anonymous imageboard?
Are you retarded?
Look up doctors in your area and their reviews and then go and talk to several. Or maybe read papers on the subject over the internet, i dont know.
But a medical question should only ever be answered by a practitioning doctor, what is so hard about that?
Other night was first time i meet girl in bar. I was very weird and didnt know what to talk, can someone give me tips ?
Someone help me pls mf
>>16778204
Hey man just start with the basics like name and such, then ask if you guys would like to meet up somewhere :^D
Here you go
/adv/
Which is better?
Scenario 1 - a partner who is settled, will look after you, loves you unconditionally and will take you down the standard life path (marriage, children, etc), but with whom you have very little in common and absolutely no spark
Scenario 2 - a less settled partner with whom you have an amazing connection, lots in common, who may not be as reliable but will make up for this in amazing chemistry alone.
>>16778132
Neither.
I tried both before and they both suck. Scenario 2 is harder to get over. I pick Scenario 3, stay single and masturbate until a girl meeting your standards enters your life.
Have you ever given or received the advice "just be yourself" unironically? In regards to what? Was there any input or was it a one liner?
Did the person who received the advice actually felt better when he/she "started being themselves"? How did they change socially, did they turn into tactless autists or become more friendly?
>>16778110
Yes i have and it is true to a certain degree.
What "most" people that i value search for is genuinity. As in, people that are comfortable being themselves.
There was this huge turbonerd in my class last semester and i was talking to this one girl about him, who i considered would trash him because he was a low-beta guy.
But she blew my mind when she actually stated that she really respected him for being who he was and for being so genuine about his views.
When i asked her what she thought about me she told me that she thought that i think too much and that one can feel that.
That really blew my mind at the time and i have now come to accept this worldview while trying to be more genuine myself.
However, the gist of the message is also to try to accept that failure in interacting with some people will happen if you are unwilling to conform, which is what happens when you are genuine.
As such: be prepared for people to laugh behind your back for as long as they dont clap at you.
Change may come, but you will have to work on it and your attitude.
These are my 2 cents on it OP, i hope it helps.
okay 4chan, I'm intoxicated enough to think this is a good idea so let's go
>be me, 18 y/o guy
>beta as fuck, very quiet but book smart/nerdy type
>in first year at college
>play video games a few hours every day
>smoke excessive amounts of weed every day, also sell a decent amount
>say that it's self medication and it helps with depression/anxiety/sleeping problems/suicidality which it does but I'm still a delinquent
>virgin, only ever been in a relationship with one person so I have essentially no romantic experience
>basically I'm a waste of space and a lost cause
>can count the people I've been actually interested in on one hand, combination of the facts that I generally want an actual relationship with someone I'm connected to and that I've partially accepted my fate and don't really talk to girls as if I'm looking for a relationship
>have a huge crush on one of my friends from home (pic related)
>liberal college stoner girl
>met her through my older brother a while ago but she's my age
>very beautiful with long red hair
>she's honestly a 10/10 in my eyes
>WAY out of my league
>first started liking her last spring, around the time I started smoking (the first time I smoked was with her)
>sorta like her for a while but never do anything about it
>always look forward to seeing her
>at a party over the summer I was tripping balls stoned and asked her out
continued...
>she says no
>says she's going away to college in the fall so she doesn't want a relationship
>super embarrassed after I sober up
>she ends up going out with a mutual friend a short time later
>makes things a little awkward between us but we still talk
>I lie to myself and say I'm over her
>they break up before she goes to school in the fall anyways
>fast forward 6+ months
>she goes to a community college near home, college was too expensive
>see each other semi often when I'm home from school, usually with other friends
>always subtly (or not subtly) hoping something will happen between us and wanting to flirt with her when we hang out
>sometimes try to communicate this with subtle flirtation (i.e. "accidental" touches, being really nice/generous)
>she actually seems to respond sometimes, but I'm shitty at it and always assume she did it accidentally or something
>seems like she's more interested in casual sex so I'm not sure what to do
>saw each other somewhat often while I was home on break, until recently
>she's all I can think about
>normally I would only want a real and long-lasting relationship but I eventually realize if she just wanted to fuck me I might let her
>holy shit I'm a mess
>I really like her though
>lose sleep over it some nights
>don't have the slightest clue what to do about it
Do you think she might be interested in me after all or do I have no chance? How do I even start to do something about it?
>Nose piercing
If you manage to fuck her make sure to use a condom
I'm a girl, 18, who has been in almost this exact situation but from the opposite perspective. So, this is my advice, from someone who seems to have experienced the same stuff as your crush: Instead of expecting her to pick up on your little flirtatious advances, or trying to impress her in some way, for christ sake just talk to her about it. Just say something like "Hey I think you are super cool and I enjoy hanging out together, would you maybe want to go on a date some time?" or "I've started to really like you, do you think you could see us being together in the future?" If my friend had done that, and just had an honest conversation with me about how we both felt, it would have saved him a lot of over-thinking everything I say to him, and it would have saved me a lot of awkward attempts at being hit on. The worst that can happen is she says no, or that she doesn't feel the same, then you just move on. I am still friends with the guy, you will get past the awkwardness of talking about your feelings.
I'm a 21 years old nerd, that has always spent most of his time playing and watching videogame content, tournaments and so on of the most typical esports/competitive games
I'd like to translate my "competitive drive" in something a bit more useful and engaging, as in a real sport. But I'm 21 years old, and it seems like in most, you either start as a kid or you're a weirdo.
For example I'm kinda interested in Table Tennis, but it's small in my city and if I went to one of the schools that offer courses, it'd be all school kids and me.
So in what sports would it be normal to begin at my age?
Curling?
Unless you want to become a real competetive player you can pick any sport you want.
>>16778101
It really depends where do you live.
In no sport is normal to begin at 21, but you can just join amateurs clubs (i dont dont know if there are any where you live).I also suppose you dont have friends to just play casually with?
Or you could try to get in swimming/track and field sports, or things like skying/snowboarding.
Any sport dude. Unless you want to get very competitive just do what you find the most appealing. I started playing volleyball at 20 and it's one of the best things I did in my life. Doing a sport really helps you in many ways, helps you socialise, makes you more confident, keeps you healthy and fit, helps with sleep and concentration, just do it you don't have to go pro for it to be good and fun. Also you can organize small competition in your town yourself if you really want to compete, that way it won't be high level, you get to compete and everybody has fun. Win win situation.
I have bipolar disorder, I'm currently so drunk that I've thrown up twice, and I think that I've chosen the wrong major for school (going for computer programming. After a semester I've realized I don't have the aptitude or patience for programming. I just picked a major without thinking and just thought it would be "fun" to be a game developer. Also, I lost my scholarship because I dropped all my classes in a manic episode.
How do I fix my shitty, life?
Get treated
Get yourself medicated, avoid alcohol, pick a major you're motivated to complete.
>>16778109
You see that's the thing. I'm currently on a combination of geodon and gabapentin. But all that does iis deal with the halllucinations. I still wake up every day wondering why I'm still alive, I still don't have the energy or will to fix or try anything, and I still wonder if there truly is a god.
Don't get bipolar by the way. It's pretty shit experience. I'm already tried (once again drunk) to kill myself to no avail. Pro-tip, if you every try to use pain killers as a method of suicide, be sure to leave a note that you don't want medical assistance.
Because if there was a god, he wouldn't allow there to be a disease where you feel like nothing matters, and there is no purpose to anything. A disease where you make life altering decisions at a whim and he wouldn't make said disease rear it's head right after you got married. If there was a god then surely everyone would get there own fair share at life. without abstruction
How do I stop sperging out when my gf dirty talks me? What do I respond with?
This is so hard for me
A few examples could be:
>Tell me everything you're gonna do to me
>I'm feeling really horny, do me now u sexy beast
Just typing these i'm sperging out, seriously how do I respond without making it awkward? She's not the problem. I am.
>>16778087
Dirty talking is juvinile as fuck dude. If you aren't 15-16 I suggest you guys grow up. Just fuck or exchange nudes if you can't. Wank it out not text it. Sexting is fucking awkward when someone isn't into it. Believe me.
>>16778535
>Dirty talking is juvinile
Underage b& detected. Illiterate too.
Sometimes when my wife texts me asking what I'd like for dinner I reply that I don't care because the first thing I'm gonna do when I come home is bend her over the kitchen table and fuck her silly. How is that juvenile?
the girl I loved wanted to fuck my best friend and now i'm dead inside, no motivation or passion for life. How do I put a stop to this? how can I get my emotions back?
>>16778081
Focus on bettering yourself as a person fall in love with a better woman. And eventually things will get better. Take solace in the fact that many people are going through the same thing as we speak. Use it as a learning experience so your time wasn't wasted
