Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1666. page
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Why does a girl not reply?
I asked for this girls number yesterday, we understand very well and I don't why'd she ignore me like that, we texted yesterday but she hasn't replied to my last message since yesterday night, she's been online almost all day and it feels like she doesn't even care.
What should I do, message her again or do something, I don't wanna sound needy or cringey or anything, I just kinda wanna have a relationship whit this girl but as it seems she doesn't share the same ideas.
What should I do, ignore her or send her a message like hello or good day or something?
>>16779141
I dunno man, maybe you need to realize there's a million other women out there and realize that maybe she doesn't like you
>>16779154
This. Don't chase her up. If she hasn't replied, that's pretty clear message
>>16779141
She didn't reply and she been online all day? Don't bother with her she's a bitch.
Hey guys, as a senior in high school, how can I prepare myself for a computer science course? Any links to tutorials or videos would be greatly appreciated. As of now, I know just about jack shit.
Anything you find on Google would be sufficient. Just pick a language, choose a project and start coding.
What modules are on the course? There's a lot of pieces involved. I guess if you want to get up on the coding side join HackerRank.
Also this https://www.google.co.uk/about/careers/students/guide-to-technical-development.html but it's missing stuff like CPUs, networks etc.
Times when I'm tired, like now, I feel so incredibly sad that it's basically agony. Then it dies down and I feel happier, to the point where I'm laughing and smiling and enjoying life completely.
Then the cycle repeats. Over the course of 12 to 16 hours.
The sadness has ruined a lot of things in my life, it's only gotten worse since I drove my girlfriend away.
Does this sound like I have mental problems?
I'm sorry.
I'm feeling better now
Alright it's been over a month and I'm still not over her. I've tried fucking new girls and all I can think about is her. Even though she hurt me in the worst way, I miss her.
Should I tell her?
>>16779107
This would give her power over you.
The only way she's ever going to have a slight chance to come back is if you stay silent to her and act like you don't care.
Hang in there friend. It gets better. You're at least better off than most others because you can in fact fuck other actual girls.
Its been a year for me. We havnt spoke for 6 months.
I still think about her every day, and it still hurts just as much.
The thought of her fucking her new boyfreind makes me want to vomit, Even though ive been with 5 girls since.
I hate her. But i still love her.
It doesnt get easier.
It wont ever be the same.
Remember this OP.
/adv/ please help.
I'm 29 years old. I always moved around in life a lot (military, switching schools, etc.) so I have been in a lot of situations where I have had to make new friends without having any social connections.
However, since breaking up with my ex 2 years ago I haven't made any friends. (She was sort of the last link to the last social group I was in.) The breakup hit me hard (I thought I was going to marry her) and I was in a really deep depression for about six months.
But now it's like it's so much more difficult to make friends. I haven't had a single fucking friend in two years and I am afraid it's driving me insane. I haven't had a single person to talk to about non-work or non-school related stuff for TWO YEARS. I haven't been really happy for years and everything feels flat. Everyone around me my age is either married or has their own social group that they're not looking to expand.
To be honest I'm fucking scared. Did I fuck up irrevocably by not hanging on to my social groups up until this point? Is this what my adult life is going to be, a friendless, flat nothing? Are all my conversations from now on just going to be about work? Am I just never going to have a connection with anyone ever again?
I know it's starting to fuck with my head. I used to write a lot, now I barely do it at all. I used to read, now it's like I can't concentrate. I feel like I've lost all interest in the things I used to love. My head feels like it's in this thick fog all the time. A couple of nights ago, I was walking down a street I've been down hundreds of times, and somehow I just....didn't recognize anything around me. I felt like I was lost on a street that is literally one block away from my apartment. A lot of times when I lay down I feel weird, like I'm detached from my body and watching myself.
I don't know what to do anymore, really. It's been this bad for at least a year. I don't want life to be like this.
You probably fucked up in not developing a strong motivation to construct your own satisfying lifestyle. This is very common. It's just that most people enjoy the luxury of social lives to sort of cover up that mistake.
You're 29. There's no reason why you shouldn't have every little detail of your personal life exactly how you like it. You should eat the foods you like, travel to the spots you enjoy, play the games and sports which interest you, etc. 24/7 your life should be "The OP Show." That's the whole point of having the freedom of adulthood.
Now I know that part of your show would include other people, and that's obviously missing right now as per your entire post. But at age 29, no one is going to stick around as a close friend unless you have a really developed life which they can be a part of. No one wants to just exist alongside you. They have their own show, you have yours, and friendship will be about guest appearances. Step up and start dictating the terms of your life. The people will follow closely behind.
I sympathize with your story because I feel like I am heading in your direction. I don't think you "fucked up", as life goes on friends often begin to drift apart, They come and go.
What do you do outside of work? Do you have hobbies or anything that have you going out and attempting to communicate with people outside of work?
Try not to worry to much, it's easy to feel like the rest of your life will be like this but nobody knows when you're going to find your next friend or partner. You could even try online dating if you're looking for someone. But you have to constantly be around other people with similar interests as you if you're to make friends.
>>16779581
I'm not really sure what you mean, honestly?
>>16779584
Most of my hobbies are more or less solo activities (writing/drawing/doing my own little programming projects) although as I said it's like I have no interest in those anymore. I do like to go for long walks in the forest, although that's not really something you meet people at. I'm not really sure what kind of activity or anything you can go to that wouldn't be weird just showing up alone by yourself.
I've never really needed a lot of friends - there have been points in my life where I only had maybe 2 or 3. It's just that having none at all is driving me out of it.
Right now dating is completely out of the question for me. I don't feel nearly stable enough at all for that kind thing.
How do I friends?
The last people whom I thought were my friends was a couple who just wanted to have a threesome/me to fuck his wife.
When I turned them down, they stopped talking to me.
How do I make friends as an adult?
putting out helps, to be honest
I'm into this girl. I wanna be a thing with her. I'm too busy this week with exams to ask her out on a date right now. However, I don't wanna blow my chance and take too long. What do?
>>16779020
Make time or study together?
I have terrible luck with love.
It seems like I can get women to really like me at first, but then after a while they leave me.
I was dating a girl recently for a couple of months, and at first she was saying shit like, "I can't believe you've been single so long", "you're an amazing guy", or "I'm lucky to have met you." She was pretty much smitten with me and was extremely kind and generous to me. I wasn't used to that kind of treatment, so it caught me off guard but I did my best to reciprocate.
Then she calls me yesterday and tells me she doesn't think she's in a good place for a relationship and needs to get herself straightened out which is basically code for "I don't want to be with you but I can't bring myself to say it."
This pattern of quick infatuation, then sudden disappearance has been happening a lot lately, and even with girls with whom I had never been romantically involved. I have to think something's wrong on my end, but I don't know what it is. I try to be a good person. I have a handful of hobbies, I treat people with respect, and people tend to enjoy my company.
I've spoken with my therapist about this (I'm seeing him for unrelated reasons, but brought it up the last few sessions) and he tells me I take things too personally. Like every failure I experience is a character flaw. I suppose that's true, but I try to learn from my failures so that I can grow as a person.
I'm just so sick of this pattern. Whenever I start really getting into someone and start feeling good, they leave.
What do?
>>16778988
Not every relationship is a winner.
Keep at it until you find someone you love and lover you back.
Sounds like you may have an annoying trait that is not obvious right off the bat. But don't stress about it. Good relationship are build by people who are oblivious to their lovers annoying traits. Just keep at it.
dude, people are embroiled in their own lives. What they do is not usually about you. I wouldn't have any reason to doubt what she's telling you, both that she likes you and that she's not in a place for a relationship.
>which is basically code for
this is the phrase that should scream "the following statement is a massive projection of my own insecurities!"
>>16779027
you can't tell me you've never been on the receiving end of a hidden message like that. People do it all the time. They claim they do it to protect the feelings of the person they're saying it to, but in reality they just want to protect themselves from the backlash of being honest while technically accomplishing the same goal.
my gut is telling me somethings not right with this girl at the moment and here's why.
I met this chick about a month a go and everything was going great, dating, flirting, talking dirty over the phone, sexting, it's was all really hot passionate stuff.
Im quite a cold guy by nature and for some reason women have always just attached themselves to me because of that. I'm guessing it's because they can't work me out or I'm not confessing my love to them, no idea. So this is why this problem is all new territory to me.
So for a few days my gut has been telling me somethings up, I don't know what, it's just been going nuts and to the point where I can't even eat.
She's been a little distant for the past few days and I don't know why. Nothing has changed, she's a loyal person, she speaks her mind and that's what made me really attracted to her to begin with. So yesterday she said she said she was in the bath, I said now I've got a picture of you in my head and she then sent me a nude picture of her bathing. I'm sitting here thinking, it must just be me being paranoid whilst my gut feeling is not budging. Fast forward today and I call her and say I'll send you one of me today in th bath, that's if you want one of course and she said yeah of I do. Again, my gut is at 100. So I get in the bath and sent her a pic and she replied with naughty xxx, I then replied wish you were here with me, she replied so do I babe xxxxx, then I said, the naughty things I want to say to you right now xxx, setting her up for a reply. I've seen she's read the message and I've haven't got a message back. Everything felt very force with her replies.
I bought some very expensive theatre tickets for next week and im wondering if she's just stringing me along until then? But she's has also invited me to a party next month as well which also leads me to believe she might all of a sudden be playing hard to get?
Any advice or input would be much appreciated
Anyone?
Im being sent somewhere for psychological evaluation, what should I prepare myself for? I really don't like talking about my feelings.
Why (are you being sent)
>>16778968
>>16779119
okay i guess OP's making coffee or taking a dump or something. i had 2 psych evals.
first one
> i'm from mid EU
> every man, after he turns 18, has to do 9 months of civilian service or 6 months of military service
> before that there's a physical exam and a psych eval
Psych eval was two parts; first you sit in a room, everyone's got a PC, there's questions, you answer. I literally just mashed the buttons (i was a rascal in my teens). Later there was a 2 minute segment where we talked our answers through with a psycholologist. I passed, I even scored higher on intelligence than most of the others (mind you i geniunely just mashed those buttons i have no idea how they score this shit).
second one
> be me, still
> doing my drivers licence
> fail the theoretical part 3 times (that must make me sound thick as fuck but i really just hate memorizing stuff, and i never drove before nor had much interest in cars and whatnot so i hadnt had much previous exposure to uh, the laws of the road, i guess)
So after that happened they made me do a psych eval to see if I was mentally challenged or something. I told him I just didnt study and he was like yeah okay just fuck off. That was it.
tl;dr - Psych evals are usually used by institutions processing a LARGE amount of customers / clients / applicants to check for and weed out mentally challenged people and dangerous nutjobs. They don't care if you are a grimdark sperg who wants to fistfuck his stepmom as long as you can shut up, say yes/no/thank you and do any extraordinarily stupid shit like walking into the psych eval with concealed firearms on your person or a "9/11 was an inside job" t-shirt.
>>16779199
>and do any extraordinarily stupid shit
*i meant "don't do", of course
>tfw I realize the only reason why I want human relationships is being fine with my ego
How should I feel?
>>16778951
>fine with my ego
define ego
>>16778974
Selfsteem
>>16778986
so, you realized that all you do is driven by making you feel good about yourself? yeah, that's normal and healthy
I am a young guy and I had a son with a Korean lady (older by four years), I've been knowing her for three years, but we couldn't make it work out. We both love each other but have destroyed ourselves treating each other like crap. I'm from a Spanish culture and we're very romantic and attentive to detail, while she appears cold, uncaring, and materialistic
Now I met this girl younger than me (by five years), she's pretty, sexy, and dedicated and devoted to me, very passionate. Problem is... She showed me how immature I was with my ex in many other aspects. All her young girl bullshit/drama.... I did to my ex.
I apologised to my ex, we talked, we still love each other, and I have a chance to keep a family with my beautiful little son and a great mature woman if I decide to give us another chance.
So I'm torn. I found someone who SEEMS like they'll be better for me (younger girl), but if you love someone else (baby mama), is the former really better for you? Seems like the best and most mature decision would be to leave this young girl and go back to my ex and continue to be a family. Funnily enough, learning to let go of something that didn't work in three years to start over new and fresh, is also pretty mature.
Unfortunately I don't want to break this young girls heart either. I'm not in a relationship with either, but I'm torn between the two. My ex knows of this young girl and just wants me to let her go as soon as possible so we can continue where our family left off.
This is a selfish decision no doubt about it. I want the one where I end up the happiest. I think after writing this I might know the answer, how can in be happy with the girl I dont love? If you guys have any advice I'd appreciate it.
>>16778893
None of us can tell you the answer. You're on your own.
In all honesty, you're probably going to regret whichever you choose. Just choose the one you regret less.
>>16778905
This is a great answer. I'd regret more seeing my son be pulled from side to side in the Hollidays and every day for the rest of his life.
Any idea how to let this new young girl off easy? I dont want to make up a story and take the sleazy way out either
Given likely advances in medicine, if you were born in the 1990s, it is more likely than not that you will live in three centuries.
Does that excite you or scare you?
Doesn't make me feel anything. I have the ability to choose when I don't want to live anymore. If it feels too long I can just end it.
UK lads help.
Need to fucking move out lads. I'm 25 nearly 26 and I still live with my dad, and every single fucking conversation revolves around what food he's bought, what food we're going to have for dinner, what food not to eat etc. I can't stand it anymore.
By the end of this month I'll have £1500 in savings. Is that enough to move out? Should I move out with mates or get GF first?
I live in North West area around Manchester.
>>16778872
If you have a job that's enough. That will get you the deposit on a small flat. Then just keep going.
I'm on 15k and I have money left to save.
You're not in London so you should be fine too.
>>16778953
I'm 13k a year sadly, but I think I'd be able to manage anyway. I save £300-400 a month so could change it to £200. Aiming to get a new job but easier said than done.
Just not sure if I want to live alone, or with mates or find a GF first. Preferably the latter but feel like I need to move out to get one first. Hmm.
>>16779001
Talk about it with a mate, I'm living with 4 girls at the moment and financially I'm secure as fuck with a job that pays about £12k a year (Sheffield) - beware of student areas would be my advice, its unreal the price leap they make there. Also random but when looking to buy/rent a property the bedroom is nowhere near as important as the bathroom and kitchen. My room's lovely but our shared amenities are just impractically small for 5 people. Best of luck in any case bro
Sup /adv/
Thinking of making a motivational poster. How does this look so far? Pic not related.
---
Have you ever said to yourself, "Why didn't anyone tell me these things"? Well then, here we go.
A long, long time ago, back before cell phones, computers, cars, or even houses, people lived in caves. Or if they were lucky, they lived in caves. If not so lucky, they lived in trees, or slept on the ground. Life was hard. If they found food, they ate. If they did not find food, they did not eat. If they got sick, there were no doctors or medicines. Only their immune systems stood between them and death.
But gradually, people figured things out. They figured out how to make tools to help them hunt animals to eat. The figured out how to build shelters to keep themselves out of the wind and rain. They figured out how to plant seeds and grow things to eat. These things they figured out helped increase their chances of survival. So they taught these things to their kids, so their kids could also have a better chance of survival.
(cont.)
School is the modern day way of teaching kids so they have a better chance of survival.
But survival is not the only goal. You can summarize all goals down to two main goals. survival and the stimulation of your senses. People eat and work to survive. People eat, listen to music, have sex, and do drugs to stimulate the senses, although doing drugs can work against the goal of survival.
So let's look at sex a little more closely. How can you have really great sex? By attracting a really great sex partner. So how can you attract a really great sex partner? By being someone who will be a really great sex partner. Birds of a feather flock together. OK, so how can you be a really great sex partner?
I think there are three qualities people look for in a partner, and I'm talking about someone you would want to keep for life, instead of just a one night stand. These qualities are: physical strength, intelligence, and appearance.
Physical strength because you don't want them or you to be exhausted after 10 minutes of sex. And it's nice to have someone with the strength to share household chores. So do sports or exercises for physical strength.
Intelligence because you'll need it to figure out the more difficult Kama Sutra positions. Also, a big part of life is about problem solving. Two heads are better than one, but if one of the heads is a half wit, it becomes more of a struggle for the other one. So do school for intelligence.
Appearance because in a life long partnership, you'll be looking at each other for a long, long time. So do grooming and fashion, and an appealing facial expression helps.
Is there a question here someplace?
>>16778875
Sure. What is your opinion of this work in progress?
