Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1531. page
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How do I get out of going to a funeral?
>>16831653
You don't, unless you want to be labelled an asshole.
Depends on who's funeral.
find the corpse and weekend at bernie's it so the funeral gets cancelled
can't have a funeral for someone who's alive
![male-and-female-relationship-sign[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/w93KN3k.jpg "male-and-female-relationship-sign[1]")
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon and frog posters
Fuck off
Boys, my boyfriend is struggling with his porn "addiction". When we'd have sex, half the time he has a problem with going soft and having to work himself up again. The worst though, is when he doesn't want to have sex at all, even though he has a regular sex drive when he feels healthy and "away from porn". He shared with me that he's had a problem and how it seems to be a male-only problem where he watches porn, then it escalates into more extreme stuff for him to get off... trannies. Then he's unable to even get an erection and so, avoids sex because it won't work anyway. I told him it's okay if he's bisexual and he can sleep with a trap or whatever, and that it isn't a bad thing to be bisexual... He tells me he is straight and is struggling with this porn thing, and that he reads about a lot of guys having similar sexual dysfunctions... Currently, he is trying to stay off porn, told me to give him a few weeks for his dick to work again.
What do you think about this? How can I help? Do you reckon he is most certainly bisexual for getting off to traps, and sissy caption shit? He also likes dressing up in girly stuff in private, he doesn't do it ever, but he did buy stuff online for himself. I miss sex with him and we broke up to take a break to fix our own problem but we still hang out as if we are together. During our relationship, I thought maybe he was unattracted to me, so I said he could fuck his hot ex, and later traps once I found out and then he started having dick problems.
Girls, how much should a guy talk to you before he becomes clingy?
I went to a first date with someone. She's supposed to let me know when she's free for a second one and it's been a week. No contact from her and no message. I figured she's changed her mind or something and that's fine. I can't shake the feeling that I'm messing it up by not sending her messages to just chat, but at the same time I don't want to start harassing her in the hope that she likes me.
Same happened with another girl who suddenly barely sends anything. She once started a conversation only to reply with single words messages. Nothing from her since. I sent a message around Valentines day to get some news from her and she barely answered. I consider it lost cause but of course I wonder if maybe I should talk to her more.
Basically i'm not losing any sleep over this, and I'm fine. i just don't want to lose on something because I kept my distances for fear of being clingy.
Ladies,
Did you experience increased libido after starting working out? My wife recently started trying to get into shape, and it seems to me that she's more interested in sex now. Just wondering if there's a corelation.
Hey there,
I am a 20 year old dude in Community College, having a hard time finding any sort of meaningful relationship with girls.
I've had girls interested in me, but it always fizzles out or just doesnt work out in the end. Most recent example, and one of the worst choices in my life. My best friend of 6 years started to like me, I caught on, asked her out, got a yes, but about a month later she said it would be better if we stayed friends. She hasn't spoken to me since.
In the past, I have been friendzoned a fuckload of times. I get that it just means that they aren't interested in me, and thats fine. Platonic relationships are great, but people arent interested in having them once I've shown interest, which sucks even more. I just dont understand why this keeps on happening to me. Its not like I'm going for supermodels or anything. Just people who are smart(personality), somewhat attractive to me and who I can have a nice conversation with. I'm short (5'7), but I dont think I'm hideous (pic related)
Some of my friends have said to hide my geeky interests(Art, History, Anime(not a weeb or anything), video games computers), but is that really a long term winning strategy?
Its been about 6 months since I've even tried. I know it will end in the friend talk, or an awkward half-rejection without any real explanation.
I dont know what I'm doing wrong, but I'm getting close to just saying 'fuck it'.
Well you don't know what's wrong with you, so how are we supposed to know? From what you've said, there's nothing wrong with you - the only problem I can see with you is that you look at least 5 years older than you actually are (which might not actually be a bad thing at all).
Also don't hide your interests, that's retarded if you actually want a relationship with someone.
>>16830277
>attractive
>seems to be smart
>possibly shy
Have you even asked anyone?
>>16830297
I haven't found anyone who's shown interest.
Is it justified to do something very immoral, something that will hurt another person but it's a sort of last request for yourself?
depends. did the person in question hurt you? do you genuinely think that doing this will make them a better person, despite the pain? ultimately, it's your choice, I would try to talk you out of suicide, but it seems you've already made up your mind. if your life isn't being raped and/or abused regularly, don't do it. just don't. but for the action? also don't. if you're going to die, die satisfied that you didn't hurt someone.
>>16832299
No the person is a little child who is family, they did nothing to me I just sorta chose them since they are the child I am closest to. My life is pretty shitty/going nowhere soo..
Just live on and say fuck em.
Or do it. Cripple them or whatever, they may heal depending on their will power, but more than likely its irreversible for most of our lifetime.
I've been living the NEET life for 3 years since I dropped out of uni. Enough money to not need to work (Great, cause I hate workplaces and people) but still poor.
I'm terribly anxious and can't talk to people so therefore I loathe even the thought of working. But 3 years spent mainly in bed means I haven't achieved anything and I'm out of reasons to live. Nothing feels worth doing and I usually quit activities due to social anxiety so I'm stuck in life and frequently contemplate suicide. Is there any hope for my kind?
If social anxieties are holding you back from school and employment, you should talk to your doctor about getting treatment to help. I can tell you right now, you can be prescribed a beta-blocker that will remove the heart stopping nervousness and give you the confidence you need to get out there.
Yeah, there's definitely hope. You can start by going to a doctor or therapist. You'll also have to start doing stuff like exposure therapy where you slowly start facing your fears and doing it over and over again. The most important part though is to hold yourself responsible and not sliding back into neetdom. It'll be stupid hard but it'll be a lot less painful than continuing down the path youre on now. Also stop going to places like /r9k/ and surrounding yourself with neet shit
>>16831957
Force yourself to become an adult in a one time, no backsies, life decision. Join the army.
How do I find joy in things other than internet and alcohol?
Everything else feels like a waste of time and money.
weed
I feel your pain, except alcohol and internet seems like a waste to me as well. Why am I even alive?
>>16831836
what else have you tried? i mean theres lots of 'one off' thigns or special occassiosn you can do. if you cut back on alcohol even the lowest budget people can start to afford them.
instead of spending 24 bucks a month on beer, go out and spend 15 bucks oen night on limitless laser tag.
cut the internet for a few months and put that money towards a sky diving groupon.
I know this is weird to ask in /adv/ but I guess it's worth a shot.
I'm a single re-married mother. My child's dad was still in her life. I started my daughter in therapy because she was experiencing some pretty severe anxiety symptoms.
Months into therapy, my daughter breaks down and says that when she's at her dad's every other weekend, he spanks her very hard for very trivial things. I know spanking is on the fence, I was spanked as a child, I'm not destroyed mentally from it, but my daughters a good kid, not a liar, doesn't have any manipulative behaviors, she's occasionally whiny but I'm just stern with her but not physical. Gets good grades, model student. So, the therapist thinks that my daughter saw this as a bit of a "traumatic" experience considering she usually didn't understand why she was being hit and it was always the first punishment, no warning, etc. Spanking is also legal in my state, so nothing could be done legally about it.
I confronted her dad. He confirmed it all. Blamed it on me. He's generally a manipulative little shit in arguments. Loves to turn things around. Never confronts that maybe, he was wrong and should try something else.
I have primary custody, he has no real rights, we never went to court because we usually solved things by talking. Now it's going down hill.
My daughter hasn't seen her dad in over a month. She has no more anxiety symptoms, finally acting like a child should and it's wonderful. But the therapist doesn't want to break families, she wants to help them. She suggested my daughter's father and I do therapy together to learn how to communicate effectively and for him to stop spanking her because it's obviously not working.
My daughter still wants to see her dad, but she said she doesn't want to be hit anymore. The solution we came up with is therapy until my daughter and I see fit that he can parent effectively.
1/2
2/2
I start therapy with him in 2 weeks. Which will be awkward. He always does this petty shit. Claims he has people spying on me and seeing I'm a horrible mother. Says I let the tv baby sit my daughter. General bullshit to avoid his own issues with parenting. He doesn't know or want to know about our daily lives. He doesn't even know her teachers name. Doesn't want to do homework with her. Hell, I honestly don't even know why he wants to spend time with her on the weekends if she's just being slapped around every time she visits him.
I'm worried about starting therapy. I have a strong feeling he's just going to lie and manipulate and point all this negativity on me. Just to deflect. I don't even know how to handle it. This is why we broke up, this is how he always acts with me. I almost feel like calling it off because it's just going to be a new headache. My husband also thinks it's a no hope situation, but says I should endure it to show courts that her dad is a deadbeat.
So, how do I just emotionally protect myself from the bullshit I'm going to endure by going to parenting therapy with my ex?
why did you have a child with this scumbag?
>>16831230
Because scumbags usually don't act like scumbags until you have kids with one.
I swear I think he is antisocial personality disorder/narcissistic personality disorder. All his behavior is defensive, gas-lighting, manipulative bullshit.
Age old situation: I am in love with my FWB... He hasn't completely shot down a relationship in the future - and we are both able to see other people. I keep getting jealous... I want to try waiting it out and hope that he eventually wants to be with me... And I know how stupid that is... we are just so perfect for each other. I don't know if I have a specific request as far as advice but any would be appreciated.
>>16831041
Start fucking other guys.
>>16831050
I've tried. All the guys that I keep meeting are fucking losers that just make me like him more
>>16831050
Are you a guy? From your opinion - is there any situation where this works out?
My sister is now officially an IRL SJW. She is 17, but in the last year she has been getting more and more "politcal", when previously she had zero interest. The thing that changed is that she went to College (pre-University for the Americans reading this, you go to University when reach 18). She's now in her second year, and all of a sudden she's coming out with bullshit like "its 2016" and "you sound like an old person!". I've heard her you the term "pansexual". She rabidly supports allowing millions of undocumented refugees into Europe.
Now,there's nothing wrong with having opinions. But what fucking pisses me off is that she can't justify them. She's gone to college and learned nothing about logic or debate structure, they've just filled head with shit that she now mindlessly spouts. And next year she's going to a London University, the most progressive place in the world.
So, how can I reverse this? Too be honest, I doubt it possible because she doesn't actually care about right or wrong as long as the biddings of her marxist college teachers are fulfilled. How do you re-educate a SJW?
If you are a guy you have no hope.
>>16830576
you can't, it's called growing up and everyone whines about something. women complain that that they're paid 77 cents on the dollar for what a man makes (this has been proven false doesn't matter), black people whine about slavery (that was a while ago) and white people whine about how the world doesn't care about them (despite having a huge leg up in society)
asians are pretty chill though, but they're a different kinda weird
bottom line everyone feels wronged, nothing will change, life is awesome*
It sucks, but it's life. She may realise truth at some point, but she may not. Sucks, but maybe she'll learn and grow and come out of that phase.
Is college really worth it?
Depends on what you want to get out of it
>>16830557
It can be, but it depends entirely on how you approach it. If your picture is any indication of your intended approach, then I would have to guess that it is probably not.
>>16830557
College is a risk investment.
You are putting yourself in debt with the promise that you will perform well and get out with the skills to acquire a high-paying job.
College is totally worth it if you are going in with the discipline to study, passion for the material you're studying and having to ability to check the demand of the skills you're acquiring on the job market before embarking.
Most of the time though, people go to college because they think its "the next step in life" with no real objective and end up under performing, failing, and acquiring massive debt.
My sister and I have been having sex regularly for about 11 years but recently her boyfriend proposed to her and she said yes. She wants to carry on but I want to stop now that she's going to get married. She's getting a little weird now since we haven't been together in about a fortnight and I'm worried she's going to do something stupid and ruin their marriage before it even happens.
What should I do? I don't want to get in the way of anyone's marriage.
Finally some stories of fiction and also falsehood!
How old is she?
>>16830489
She's 27 I'm 24.
How is an average looking guy suppost to get with an attractive female?
>inb4 personality and 'be yourself'
been their done that didn't work fuck you, also if an ugly guy approaches an attractive girl it looks like sexual harassment to some people
>inb4 rich
i'm only 18
They are out of your league. Deal with it
Why would an attractive female want an average guy, assuming all we're going by is looks?
>>16830295
because males will often date uglier girls but you almost never see hot girls with ugly guys
How/Where can I get in touch with interesting people?
I'm a 21 yo female, and I want to befriend people who are intellectual, ambitious, strong, etc for the sake of my own personal growth. These people I imagine are likely quite older than me, and most often men. I suppose I'm looking for some kind of mentor.
I think I'm fairly attractive at least, and I'm willing to spread my thighs if that's what it takes, but it's not what it's about.
I just don't know how I can encounter and befriend these people.
go to a college campus, find people doing serious study
>done
>>16829667
>I'm willing to spread my thighs if that's what it takes, but it's not what it's about.
Here's a little bit of wisdom: the less value you put on your bargaining chip, the less value other people will give you in exchange for it.
Seriously, if they know you're going to spread your legs because you want their ambition and intelligence to rub off on you, they're going to play you like a fiddle. They'll tell you whatever sounds smart or ambitious. They won't actually give you the real thing, they'll just give you the easiest substitute they can pull out of their ass.
>>16829667
I hate promoting websites but for interests I've found meetup dot com to be a good site for events always going on in nyc.
> I'm willing to spread my thighs if that's what it takes
Yeah no
shy, quiet, virgin guy:
>loser
>beta
>unnatractive
shy, quiet, virgin girl:
>role model
>attractive
>keeper
y do u dis society
Outgoing, confident guy
>role model
>attractive
>keeper
Outgoing, confident girl
>bitch
>slut
>loud mouth
>>16829566
Btfo in one post, why is r9k so shit lol
>>16829555
shy, quiet, virgin girl:
>role model
>attractive
>keeper
Just no. Shy virgin girls are as lame as shy virgin guys.
If not with cutting/burning/self harm, how do you deal with feelings of inferiority and worthlessness?
Crying? Doing something positive about it?
Cutting is for attention, it has no practical effect.
>>16829323
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9jXPGTc5TU
>>16829327
>Cutting is for attention
lol
