Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1537. page
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>have crush on guy, turns out he's a real Aspie (confirmed by mutual friends)
>become friends, but he never notices my feelings for him
>friends keep joking about how we gonna get married
>we joke about sharing a bed
>go to fancy symphony concert together, I jokingly ask him whether it's a date, he says and he jokingly ends up paying for my ticket and red wine
>go for drinks afterwards, he jokes how my drink looks like sperm
>jokingly thank him for the best date of my life
>we make plans to do more stuff with just the 2 of us
How the fuck do I proceed? Does he want to give me the D? I usually have no problems knowing whether a guy likes me or not, but his Asperger's is making it really hard to read him.
>>16817281
Get aggressive
Throw your panties in his face
>>16817281
>I jokingly ask him whether it's a date, he says and he jokingly ends up paying for my ticket and red wine
>>16817281
seems legit.
Straight up ask if you are dating. Being direct is the key to dealing with aspies.
Hello, /adv/.
My problem is, that my gf is a liar. She lies to me whenever she thinks that she can get away with it, and I don't think I can trust her anymore. I go to school out of state, and have to take a semester off due to an injury of mine. She lives at school, and there's a good 5-6 hours between us.
I know that most people tell fibs about things sometimes, especially when it isn't important, but this isn't the same. Her lies are literally to cover her ass after doing things that she knows I wouldn't like for her to do. This is mutual between us, mainly she didn't want me hanging around some unsavory people that I hung around with before I started dating her, and I said the same for her. The difference between us is that I haven't hung out with or even talked with those people since we agreed upon that. That was the original problem, since then she's moved away from possibly having contact with them. As far as I know, it was never more serious than just occasionally hanging out in a group and they (people she agreed not to hang out around) were there. I give her more room than most other boys would, I don't really stop her from doing anything. I've called her out on her lies multiple times, and still, nothing has changed. She lies right to my face when I know what the truth is, and only admits it when I press the question more. This happened quite a few times, and I keep giving her more chances. I've recently felt as though I can barely trust her.
This has changed me greatly, I feel as though since she can't be trusted, I had to monitor her somehow. Yes, I know, this is probably going to seem like a horrible thing to do, and normally I would agree, but I can't just trust her and take her word for it anymore. I've been logged in to her facebook account on my laptop ever since she's used it and forgot to log out, and monitor her messages between other people. Cont. in next post
She's gotten messages from other guys before, but never really paid them any mind, she just brushed them off and showed no interest. However, she would never, ever tell me about it. She wouldn't even bring it up. I've asked her if anyone's hit on her or something like that in casual conversation, and she's said no every time. Now, recently, someone else started a conversation with her. A little bit in, she said that she had a boyfriend, which surprised me because I expected her to leave that part out. I thought, "Wow, she actually said it, maybe I can trust her a bit more". But then later in the conversation, he L I T E R A L L Y asked her for nudes once, she said no, and then he asked again, and she responded with an animal emoji. He then said that he wanted her to think he was cute and ask to hang out with him, to which she gave some half-assed response of "oh I was wondering why you were getting so into our talk lol" he responded with a smiley face or something like that and she literally said "come hang out". At this point, smoke was coming out of my ears. I was furious. She had literally just told a guy who was asking her for nudes and clearly hitting on her to come hang out. He lives a few hours away from her, but is transferring to the same school next semester.
I don't know how to handle this. After this, there's no way I can trust her anymore. We've been fine besides this though, we've been dating for almost two years now. If I confront her about it, she'll know that I've been monitoring her. But I can't just say nothing. What I thought that I should do is just break up and say that I just don't think its going to work. I think that would be the smart thing to do. However, I'm furious. Outraged. Our relationship has always been her taking more than she gives, I do much more for her than she does for me, in pretty much everything. The fact that she would do this after how good I've been to her is stupefying. I want to confront her about it, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it.
Should I just break up with her without being specific? Confront her about this? Do nothing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
>>16817149
If what you say is true, your girlfriend is a piece of shit. Dump her and move on.
Girlfriend of about a year and a half left me, maybe 2 weeks ago.
Great timing for Valentines day and her birthday actually, saved me a bunch of money.
But, I left a HUGE box of condoms at her house. I would always buy them in the larger 50 packs because we were a steady couple, had sex often, and figured why go out and buy a 4 or 5 pack when I could buy two 50 packs, leave one at her house and one at mine, and be stocked up for a while?
well, we hadn't used a ton of the ones since I last bought the box for her house, and now, we are broken up. she came to my house and got some of her stuff, and returned a few of the things I had left at her house. Condoms were not one of those things.
like I said we broke up a few weeks ago, and I'm still bummed out about it. but, I want those fucking condoms back. not because I'm going to use them, I'll probably give them to my roomie, but I'll be damned if she's going to use them. I don't think she's going out and slutting it up now that we're separated, but still. just the idea of her having some dude over, even if it's in a month, 2 months, whatever... the idea of him coming over, and her going "hey, I have this big box of condoms, we can just use those" makes me sick.
how do I ask for those back, tastefully?
we are trying the whole "let's be friends" thing because our relationship really wasn't all that long, and we have a lot of common friends, live close to each other, and go out to a lot of the same places. so, I don't want to make it super awkward or anything, but I do want those back. they weren't cheap.
>>16817088
There is not way you can ask for those condoms back without her interpreting it as an insult and trying to hurt you back.
Buy new condoms or hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
>>16817088
Just ask for them back, it's not that hard.
She might poke holes in them though so watch out.
>>16817088
>how do I ask for those back, tastefully?
I don't think you can. It's either leave them where they are or telling as it is: Yo, can I pass by your house to get some of my stuff?
Don't stress over the "let's be friends" thing too much. It's not exactly easy to remain in good terms with a person you used to fuck.
Why do people prefer assholes?
Legitimate quesiton, I always try to be nice to people always put others first and yet everyone is drawn towards assholes. People that hurt them time and time again.
I've tried talking to them and all they do is talk about themselves...
Why?
You're probably boring as fuck
Because you're boring and obnoxious, and the people you call assholes are actually the interesting ones with personality
I'm nice and people like me. But I'm also interesting and funny and enjoyable to be around.
So my new gf told me she wants to model nude for an art class. In lieu of payment, she wants an original drawing from the artist who teaches the class.
To be honest I dislike the idea. It's not that I'm particularly worried about infidelity (the way I would be if she said she was going to some photographer's studio to shoot stills) but overall it makes me question my decision to date this girl seriously.
She said she wouldn't do it if I asked her not to, and I said I'd think about it. I'm wondering if this is a bit of a test to see if I'm insecure, or to see what my boundaries are.
Anyways, I can give more detail if anons request it, just wondering what you'd do in my position.
attend the class and draw a pig instead of her
>>16816822
begin
just let her do it
if she start's doing it on a regular basis///gets far too excited about it afterwards then
acquire new grill
end
>>16816841
This, let her try it maybe let your reservations be known but don't stop her. If she starts wanting to be a nude model, then talk to her and tell her you're uncomfortable with it.
I want to fall in love
What do?
>>16816748
find a qt to fall in love with
>>16816748
Well fall in love obviously
>>16816748
Go out. Meet new people. Hopefully one of those new people will be some good wife/husband material for you.
>able to fap for hours
>edge constantly
>last about 5 minutes in a vagina
What the fuck? Is there any trick to last longer in bed?
>>16816530
>posting shinji for your normalfag problems
absolutely heretical
>>16816532
I became a normalfag just days ago. Am I no longer allowed to be a dweeb?
>>16816530
Change the way you masturbate. Clutch your dick harder. Vaginas are soft, hardly clenching your cock. If you masturbate softly with your hand, it doesn't matter how much yo
Anyone else adamant that they won't make it past 25-30?
I've always felt like a failure of a human being, I flunked out of university, I work a manual labor job out in the sun, heat, cold and rain.
I've disappointed my highly educated parents, and I've given up my once big and naive aspirations on going to a prestigious university doing medicine or law, finding a nice girl, have a fulfilling career like my parents did or even leave a legacy.
I live alone, and I work hard, I've made lots of friends, I'm hopeless with women.
Ever since I was 22 I started getting into extreme sports, and that was my lifestyle, I lived a purely hedonistic lifestyle to seek adventure, I've made many friends and I've lost a few doing what they loved.
But for those few years I was happy.
I've lived a life of dignity. But the future scares me, I don't see how i'll fit into the world.
The idea of a wife in kids in suburbia seems too luxurious for me, I find the live-fast-die-young idea oddly comforting.
I don't want a legacy, fame and acclaim doesn't interest me, I plan to eventually be forgotten when I'm gone, I find it strangely empowering.
I'm not the only one, surely?
>>16816425
26, Same here but I graduated with degree in a major I give no fucks for. Poor fag, only mom went to college. Had unrealsitic goals of being famous or being creative for my career. I rather die before 30 since I have no goals and still live at home. I became somewhat of a recluse. Havent had a chick since 21. Unemployed looking but manage to get hired for shit. Hard for me because I live in NYC where everything is expensive. Tax is 8 percent and we have low minimum wage
I was not a failure, I did well in school and graduated college to a high paying job, but at 23 I'm pretty sure I don't want to make it to 30.
Okay man. Let's be real for a second. Fuck this ideological bullshit excuse of a life that society sets in place for everybody. The most important thing in life is just being happy. Your parents may be disappointed in you but so what? Would you rather be miserable working some job you hate, doing a 9-5, day after day, slowly sinking into darkness until one day you have the courage to put a 12 gauge to your head? Fuck that shit. You don't need a wife, kids, or a house in the suburbs to be successful. Success is a standard you need to set for yourself and not allow society to set for you.
If she's telling you her plans with only her girl friends and that she's been lonely, is she hinting at something?
>>16816368
if hes posting about her in an internet forum, should he ask her out?
>>16816378
Wat
>>16816403
less speculation, more action
Give me your honest rate and tell me if I still have hope. Currently me, I shaved it al. Btw im 19 not underage
>>16816314
Get those fish pictures off your wall.
Second pic
>>16816314
>Btw im 19 not underage
mentally i would say that you are 7, but for real, are you trying to turn into a meme or something or do you just like to embarrass yourself?
and how can you make them sane. or put up with their crazy well enough to love them.
They had to go through puberty twice as different genders basically. That would drive anyone crazy.
Anyway, you can't fix crazy regardless of who it's from. You either can deal with it, or you can't. If you can't, you're hurting both of you by staying.
>>16816138
why can't you fix crazy? isn't it something therapy and drugs can fix?
>>16816130
Because like all homosexuals they suffer from mental illness
She just broke down and decided to end it
I feel so torn and don't know how to cope
help /adv/. My heart feels shattered right now
>>16815771
May the pain last forever normalscum
>>16815783
thanks man appreciate it mr pegasus
>>16815797
I tried to warn you bro
I know information about a guy who sexually assaulted his female cousin. What should I do with it? Should I report it to the police, or just let the internet do some justice to him?
>>16814671
Go to the police so they can gather facts and resolve it at least somewhat objectively. We're not going to play executioner just because you've already decided to play judge and jury.
Police
>>16814671
Come on, son. Go to the police.
Has anybody actually stopped masturbating completely? I'm trying to. I'm going longer between each time, but I still give in every now and again. Does anybody have any tips on how to quit totally?
>>16814496
no fap is placebo, you're a retard
>>16814499
eh to an extent.
Not fapping too much will lead to more energy, better sex drive, better flirting skills, and a few other things, but quitting masturbating completely will remove the benefits.
The key is to masturbate the perfect amount. In a book I read The Multi-Orgasmic Man, it recommends that if you're in your twenties, try to only masturbate once every four days.
That gives your body enough time to build up lots of sexual energy that gives you the benefits, but if you don't ejaculate often enough you will get CRIPPLING blue balls, or may even jizz your pants just cuddling with a woman.
I try to only masturbate if I have horrible blue balls and can't get sex off my mind.
If I masturbate too soon, I feel anxious and wake up tired.
If I masturbate at the right time, I feel refreshed. I wake up feeling clearheaded and motivated.
As you get older, you have to ejaculate less and less to compensate for lower sex drive.
30s, maybe once a week. 40s every two weeks. 50s maybe once a month. The book recommends people in their sixties should never try to ejaculate because they can get erectile dysfunction much easier, and supposedly cumming too often in old age is what leads to men having a shorter lifespan than women.
Basically only bust a nut if you have to.
>>16814529
all these fucking words jesus stop talking
you're wrong, accept it you're wrong
How do you help someone who won't help themselves?
My sister unemployed and living at mom's, contributing nothing to household chores and not making any kind of an attempt at looking for a school or getting a job. If and when she's asked about what she wants to do with her life, she has a mental breakdown/tantrum and cries bitterly because she has absolutely zero realistic ideas of things she could stomach doing.
She's been diagnosed with depression and sunk really deep into the enabling tumblr hole and all of the "expecting recovery is ableist" nonsense, and altogether she flat-out refuses to grow up and accept responsibility of her own life.
What can I do to help her?
Getting her to somekind of camp/institution/organisation that gets these kind of people back on their feet?
>>16814653
Where do I find one and how do I convince her to go do that, when she refuses to even open up the employment office's website?
>>16814492
Well maybe she's just not interested in manual labor? Based on your description I could be your sister. People tell me to grow up and look for a job (which I did but they never hire me), but then they say look for lower class jobs, but I refuse to work in a disgusting factory for pennies or become waiter. I do not want to get varicose veins at 25.
What i'm tryin to say is: find out what is her thought process. What is it that truly motivates her. For me it's Health > Job. Happiness > Job at a soul sucking shithole. Oh and Everyhing else >>>>> money. Personally I couldn't give less of a fuck about money. I know, I know "but it's what puts food on the table" I still don't care. I haven't an ounce of materialistic interest.
You could get me to work at charity for free, but wouldn't take a high paying job offer if the conditions I set for myself aren't met.
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