Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1545. page
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Hey /adv/, I am 24 and I cum too quickly during sex. I'll even cum when I'm soft. I have never been more embarrassed in my life every time it happens.
I try jerking off before but then I have a hard time getting a boner and I don't care about chasing women anyways.
Any advice from more experienced guys appreciated. I'm getting desperate.
>>16812507
Stop masturbating with a soft penis. Stop masturbating really all together.
>>16812517
won't that make me bust a nut in T minus 3 seconds?
>>16812507
Cut off anything that may fuck with your adrenal levels. Cut off caffeeine. Drinking stinging nettle infusion may help. Not guaranteed to help and work at everyone. Whatever, I suggest you to look into something called GABA. It's sold in tablette form called valerian extract even a few tablets considering they are pure should help you out. 500 mg a day is a good dose
How much anxiety is it normal to have about being single?
I understand you have to love yourself before anyone else can stomach loving you, and that the key to getting a relationship is not wanting one in the first place, but aren't human beings pack animals?
Isn't it normal to just want to love and be loved in return?
Should I get medicated? Do anxiety pills make you stop wanting to be kissed and loved?
I've been in enough terrible relationships that I just don't want anything to do with them anymore. I'm pretty happy being single. But before I ever dated anyone I felt lonely all the time. It's normal.
>>16812472
So getting into an awful relationship works as some sort of a vaccine?
How bad does it have to get? I've spent a good chunk of time in an unhappy relationship, and I still want a new one. I don't know what it'd take to convince myself they'll all be that bad.
>aren't human beings pack animals?
no, actually.
Hey there, /adv/. I'm having problems controlling my sex drive.
It always intervenes with my relationships with the women in my life. I almost always develop a lust for them. I usually let them know so as not to hide anything, but it never ends constructively.
Like just recently:
>be me
>be in uni
>qt from high school comes to visit
>we're cuddling in my dorm
>I get to too comfortable, kissing her face, her belly, and her mouth
>she doesn't kiss back
>my blood runs cold, knowing I've done it again
>she forgives me, but I haven't forgiven myself
So how can I control this? I've tried to stop masturbating in the past, but the longest record I've held is roughly two weeks.
I want to be a better person, /adv/. How do I suppress or completely eliminate my sex drive?
Everyone else seems to be able to hide/control their own so well...
Stop acting dense... Why are you trying to supress it? If someone told you that he's either a homo or jealous. Just move on with your life.
>>16812460
As I said, I want to get rid of it because it causes more problems than it alleviates.
I've been told I'm terrible at sex, anyway.
So there's that..
>>16812477
It won't solve the problem. Unless you say something pervy at an awkward situation why do you bother to supress it? And you know what? You cant and you better try not to. If you love someone you love someone, it's only natural that "you wanted to know her scent more".
My girlfriend stumbled upon a "guy from her class" on her way home, so she walked him home (even if it meant having to walk waaaay more to hers, and felt down that night because of that).
That bothers me, he isn't even a "friend", I dont even know him, for far as I know, she just ocassionally talks to him and out of nowhere she does that, and it bothers me.
I have problems with jealousy, and it probably is nothing, but I never know how to go about this kind of stuff.
Ignore it ? be cautious ? ask about it ? blindly trust her ?...
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Something is wrong with this situation, either with her or with you. Whichever it is needs to be addressed and not ignored. You probably won't like it, either way, but it is for the best
>>16812366
Well I know I HAVE problems with that (I have A LOT of insecurities overall, not just relationship-wise), and even though about going to a psychologist about it, and always struggle to not let it affect my life too much.
Because of that...I always think twice about what is right to do and what isn't, regardless of my instincts
Unsolicited bump
Am I immature for cutting contact with a crush after she met another guy and it going out with him? I don't think I can handle seeing them together so I want to distance myself because the pain of distancing myself is alot better then the pain of constantly seeing them together.
Was my choice the right one? Or should I just of manned up and acted like nothing changed but die on the inside.
Do whatever makes you feel better. If they were your friend and you still want to be friends with them, then endure the pain. If it was just some random crush, fuck it. Get away from them.
>>16812320
a bit immature yeah. but you're acting like you really only had the two choices.
by cutting contacti assume you mean deleted her on social media and blocked her and such though.
the correct response is just to back off.f if you see her say hi, but then just go about your business. she'll get hte idea.
>>16812328
So I used to text and talk to her everyday, but now I only respond to texts that she sends and I make it short and dont give it a chance to open up into a deeper conversation. Im not that immature enough to just flat out ignore her but I am going to cut back my conversations with her like 90%
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How do you deal with being ugly? Or at least feeling ugly? It ruins my night whenever I get that thought in my head, which usually leads to obsessing over the mirror/camera for hours.
No, I will not be posting face.
Post face.
>>16812309
iim the kind of person who has to work to look good. honestly its more embarassing being in my 'ugly' ohase in front of friends than it is with strangers.
but for the most part i just say 'i dont need to be attractive' right now, and thats it. im on an acne treatment thats taking forever to kick in, so my face is kinda wrecked because i stopped my old treatment. been ugly for like a month. worse, the new medication dries me out a lot so my skins always peeling right off my fucking face....
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>>16812313
lol
>>16812317
Jesus, that kinda sounds terrifying. But I'd like to reach that point where I can just accept that I don't have to look good, but something inside keeps making my thoughts irrational.
I'm 31, a virgin, never had my first kiss even.
I'm fat, ugly, poor.
I'm a Christian, Libertarian.
I don't smoke, do drugs, drink.
I live in the country.
I've tried all the dating apps and websites, women won't reply.
I'm lonely, I tried suicide with kratom (really hilariously stupid), I have a serious heart problem and will probably die by age 40.
Should I kill myself now? I don't want to, I want to find some happiness, I want to be not alone.
Pic is me.
Sorry to hear about your situation mate. You could be worst off (pic related) I mean the chance of you even being born is like picking out a blue marble in a seas worth of red marbles. The chance of you being born is impossible but it happened, don't waste a life man. Make a plan to change yourself into a person you like. Talk to your doctor about losing weight without compromising your heart. If you spend just one year working hard, you can spend the rest of you life smooth sailing. Start by getting rid of the facial hair and finding a new hair style. Good luck captain
That's a shitty situation anon...
What do you think it would need for you to be happy? What would your ideal life look like?
I am always surprised when Christian males are virgins. That's literally life on easy mode. Go to church, marry a girl, and you get all the sex you want.
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I'm looking for reading material that will desensitize me to violence and or heartbreak. I've concluded I have some sort of emotional hang up and I need to rid of it in order to be more productive and start living. If a book exists that contains a myriad of absolutely horrid, depressing short stories or something of the like, I would appreciate being pointed in its direction. Websites that have these sort of stories would be fine too, or books that are just generally depressing (I believe I'm at a point where I can read something depressing and not end up being...
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>>16812252
the bible.
>>16812254
Does it actually have depressing stories in it? I don't like the idea of needing a savior or anything like that so I wouldn't be reading it for spiritual guidance (I don't believe in spirituality or god). I would prefer gritty, realistic stories that have no saviors, no happy endings, etc because I believe that sort of reading will help my reevaluate my expectations and become more self-reliant and self-dependent.
>>16812264 (cont)
I could probably just read depressing news stories but I like the idea of reading things specifically designed to be as heart wrenching as possible, whereas news stories try to sugarcoat things a bit
Any advice for someone going in for Bipolar on emergency?
Things not to say? I just want to get better. Doing it without family knowledge. They don't care. They just get pissed at the idea I'm getting help. Not sure why it bothers them so much. Probably an embarrassment.
What should I pack in my small sack? A change of clothes? A book? I'm confused, alone, been in and out of facilities that haven't helped but theres an upscale non-profit one close to this place I moved to that is willing to take me in and actually help me. Its weird to have...
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Gonna take a train up to the location walk in and explain the situation. Can provide website of the actual thing too. Live right by the big apple.
>>16812230
No, good luck I hope it helps.
I wouldn't go though fuck that shit waste of time.
I've heard bipolar disorder can be cured by diet. big pharm just doesn't want you to know it!
>>16812244
I wish I could help you but I tried my hardest to not be put in a psychiatric hospital either willingly or unwillingly the few times it was an option.
It sounds tired, but I sincerely hope they will help you feel better.
Have you tried calling them to ask ?
How do I force myself to take a shower?
Another problem I have is taking too long in the shower once I'm actually in there
>>16812195
>how do i force myself to take a shower.
by forcing yourself to take a shower. there is no other way around it, im not sure why you thought there was. you are literally asking how to have enough will power to sit under running water.
as for how to get other people to make you take a shower, give them that power. get whoever you live with to hold you to it.
>>16812201
I live alone and I go days without showering and it's fucking filthy
I have the same issue, OP. My hair is greasy and the rain from today and my having to go out into town didn't help matters. I'm not really holding a smell - as I've just hopped in the shower to give my body a quick scrub- but that's it... It's like.. I don't want to take a shower at all. I'm not depressed that I know of... But maybe you are? I don't know.
I need tips for staying warm while sleeping in a car tonight. Also places to park.
>>16812117
Park in a neighborhood.
>>16812121
Just in front of somebody's house? I don't want to freak them out...
>>16812117
Wear lots of warm clothes, get a warm sleeping bag or a ton of blankets. This is really something you should have been able to figure out yourself.
>"not interested in fuckboys"
what does this even mean?
>>16812088
Means they arent intrested in associating with pussy ass dudes thay cant hold their own. At least thats what it means to me. I use to hear the term get used by Jamaicans WAY back. If you got called that by a chick then she thinks very low of you and any chances you thought you may have had has been demolished along with your balls. Sorry.
>>16812088
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck+boy&defid=7906533
You're supposed to say, "Well meme'd milady!"
She will be texting me and she is the type to respond within 10 seconds to a minute. We will be in conversation and she'll be flirting with me then suddenly start replying late, with one worded replies such as "Lol" "Same" "Okay" "Nice" She does this on a daily basis, and frequently sends me mixed signals. Any idea why she does this? What kind of games is she playing?
she just wants attention
Probably this
>>16812063
Post some screenshots of this happening, what you were talking about before/after, etc.
Maybe she gets busy with real life
How do I quit coffee? I've done tons of drugs, but it seems to be the hardest one to quit because of the energy smoothing effect / productivity benefits. Loving the taste doesn't help either ._.
>>16811942
Add sperm to every cup
>>16811942
you can try swiching it slowly for black tea
>>16811942
get rid of it. no more coffee in the house. if your partner enjoys coffee or roommate or whatever, simply ask them to monitor you so you dont drink it. let them be your acountabilibuddy.
at work, get your closest employee to be your 'sponsor' ask them to not let you drink any coffee.
there is still the chance of buying it on the fly on the way to work, but thats where having an ounce of self control comes in. if you can't handle that, give up.
How do you know when you've truly moved on and are ready to try love again, and how do you start down that path?
>>16811848
>how do you know
ask yourself "have i moved on?"
if the answer isn't yes, than its no.
>ready to love again
this isnt something you should think about unless there is someone specific to love.
>and how do you start down that path
i dont believe in doing anything more than 'putting yourself out there'. sure you dont meet people as often, but you tend to meet...
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I think I'm about to experience this.
girl I deeply care about has been doing careless things that have been pushing me away. I just can't handle this anymore and I think I'm going to end this. Just thinking about it HURTS so fucking bad.
How do you move on? Like once I end this. What do I do? before I met her I was really depressed all of the time. Not looking for anyone or love but was just bored and depressed. But she picked me up emotionally. And really was mentally healthy for me. she put my head on the right track and was just amazing to...
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>>16811848
Important people in your life will always have an effect on you, but you move on by going out and having fun and meeting people, both friends and love interests.
