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My girlfriend us fat. She's gained 25 pounds since we've started dating and it doesn't look like she's going to lose weight any time soon. I've tried encouraging her whenever I notice her lose a few pounds but she says I'm shallow if I'm only attracted to her when she's losing weight. I've tried monitoring her diet and seeing where she eats so many damn calories but she said I was being condescending and judgemental.
I don't know what to do. We've been together 5 years and I've lost attraction towards her. There are other girls with model -type bodies trying to get with me and I don't know how long I can hold out.
My gf hasn't weighed herself since about October because she's afraid of the scale. She says it makes her feel bad. How can I get her to look good again?
I've tried getting her to go to the gym with me but she says she feels like everyone is judging. She very self conscious about her body and it hurts her self esteem. She's always complaining about being fat but I don't see her put any effort into changing it. When she does, its usually some retarded diet plan that takes way too much effort and she inevitably fails. It's like she's either putting no effort , or way too much and expects instantaneous results.
I've given up on monitoring her and trying to encourage her, but since then she's gained 5 more pounds. She's says I still judge her silently and sees the way I look at her. Says I'm shallow for wanting her to be thin and not ffinding her attractive in her current state.
>>16831967
Want a plan? Here we go.
1. Start working out yourself, do this for like a week before step 2. If you already work out just go to step 2.
2. Ask her to join you, if she does, do fat burning shit and problem solved. If not, (or if she does but then quits) then step 3.
3. Show an interest in health & fitness (drink grass n' shit, then talk about it) and begin to worry about hers. (DO NOT back down from this stance, it is your trump card to call her fat without getting hit with #body-shaming).
4. She has two options now, she can healthy up to meet your standards, or she will bunker down in fat shaming and refuse to meet your new standards.
5. It's your move. By now she has either shaped up, or you have a perfectly crafted reason to leave her for a sexier, healthier lady. Simply, she doesn't meet your standards and you left due to being unfulfilled.
All results are a win
If she doesn't care about herself, how do you expect her to care about you?
I always get cum everywhere. I've read masturbating in the bathroom helps, but I like to do it in front of my computer. I also read about using tissues, but I like to use both hands, so I can't really catch anything with tissue when I orgasm. Any help, /adv/?
Computer? Get a fucking smartphone you caveman. Then you can fap anywhere.
>>16831876
Can't you sorta aim? Like, put a tissue on your chest or whatever.
>>16831881
The screen is too small though.
I think I've fallen in love with my husband's best friend and I have no idea what I should do. I love my husband very much, and we've been happily married for 7 years. We have a beautiful little girl together. Money isn't an issue at all -- We don't have any debts in the world, and can afford to travel on a fairly regular basis. We get along well and never fight. We both have great respect for one another. Our sex life is great and he fulfills me perfectly.
No matter which angle I look at it from, my life is very happy and easy right now -- Very content and fulfilled.. But I love my husband's best friend. I can't get him out of my mind, so I try to avoid seeing or being with him at all when I can. I haven't told anyone about this, and I'm not sure how much more effort I can put into keeping distance between myself and our friend without making my husband think I don't like him.
Even the slightest thought of hurting my husband or robbing my daughter of a happy, normal life fills me with profound sadness. Please give me your thoughts..
>without making my husband think I don't like him.
sounds like the only issue to me
and one which would be perfectly suited to discussing in
marriage counseling
dun dun duuuun
>>16834392
The gut reaction of a random mid/late 20 year old male that doesn't know shit about being married:
You're too "content and happy" right now. Sounds like you're basically having what's the equivalent of a mid-life crisis right now where everything's been going too smoothly, and your immediate reaction is that it's driving you crazy so you want to act out.
The more you try and struggle against this shit and try to force yourself to do the "right" thing, the more it validates those feelings of rebellion and makes you want to act on them.
My advice, stop flipping out about this shit. Let it go.
So what, you're attracted to another dude for now. It happens. Don't make it such a big deal. You know you love your husband. Phases happen. Don't dramatize this shit like a teen until you convince your self you're madly in love.
Who knows though. Maybe i'm full of shit. Best of luck
>>16834402
The gut reaction of a random mid/late 30 year old male that doesn't know shit about being married: I strongly agree with you.
except I still suggest marriage counseling instead of letting it go.
Why does fiction seem more real to me versus actual real life?
Is it because it relates to what I wish I was rather than what I actually am?
So I voluntarily or involuntarily decide to treat fiction as my pseudo reality?
Am I just running from reality? Does this mean i'm weak?
If so, what can I do?
The obvious answer is to fully accept my current situation and self, then work on myself from there.
Re-evaluate my life, find what I really need and make solid goals based on my new understanding.
Though, is that really the best course of action? Don't I know exactly what to do already?
Does anyone else feel like they have this kind of thought process?
You just need to learn how to storytell your life better.
OP IT IS YOUR DESTINY!
>>16834212
it depends what you mean by 'more real'.
how is it effecting your life?
>>16834212
in the writing world, we always say that fiction has to be truer than life, because people will question it.
if you publish something as nonfiction, people just assume it happened.
women have like this army of dudes in her storage just chomping at the bit to date her? Any given girl that is decent that is. Not even talking about the 10/10 or whatever but even girls who are like.. 4/10's(i really hate rating people) but you get my drift.
How can anyone even compete? I don't feel like I could be a better choice than any of those other dudes.
This makes me really uncomfortable on dates because I have no confidence and feel like there are so many dudes after this girl that I can't possibly compete!
I just feel like shit. I know women don't mean to do it but they really do have a way of making dudes feel like shit.
It even makes me feel like shit when a girl doesn't text me back but I text her back like almost instantly.
What can I do to improve confidence?
Fake the confidence and learn to sell yourself based on your good qualities.
If a girl is willing to go on a date with you then she has atleast a little interest in you which is probably more than a lot of other guys
>>16834033
this is... inaccurate. Women go on many dates. Most of which are crap which is how she even ended up with the armory of beta orbiters in the first place. Basically, if its a meh date, she can shelf you and wait for something better. If nothing better comes along any time soon, she can throw you a bone and string you for a bit.
Its a fucked world.
>the only reason you broke up with your girlfriend is because you couldn't be/didn't want to be monogamous, wanted to sleep with other girls
>thinking about what sort of girls you'd like to pursue, come up with list of attributes
>describes your ex perfectly
Why is monogamy the assumed relationship structure? Why is it so reviled to have a long-term, committed relationship in the "casual dating" environment? Love should begin at friendship, not sexual exclusivity.
That's where you have a fucked up thiking. Love starts with friendship. But romantic love starts with sexual exlusivenes. Don't try to hamster your way out if this. Everything else is polyamorous tumblrina shit.
You think you can have the cake and eat it too? Think again? Something worth having is going to have a prize. Your decision, if you are willing to pay it or not.
Sex is crazy intimate. Sharing that with somebody else than your bf/gf shows that you are immature, have no boundaries, have issues, have HUGE intimacy and bonding issues. Lots of people are like that, so don't worry. I strongly advice you to get over this. It's awkward and cringey af and it will leave you lonely and miserable
>>16833883
>But romantic love starts with sexual exlusivenes
No it doesn't.
>Sharing that with somebody else than your bf/gf shows that you are immature, have no boundaries, have issues, have HUGE intimacy and bonding issues
Uh, how's that? There are still defined and respected boundaries, it only shows you don't have SOCIETY'S boundaries, but since that's exactly what I'm questioning here, that makes this the equivalent of "Because that's what everyone does."
That's not an answer to the question.
Monogamy isn't just cultural, it's very much a part of our biology. 75% of the world's nations today are monogamous. All of them have an array of extremely different cultures and people, but they all chose monogamy.
Most people want monogamy.
I'm in a weird situation. I need to pay someone for damage I did to their property. We discussed a reasonable amount I need to pay but the person I'm paying wants this under contract. Furthermore, if I hire a lawyer to have it done, he wants me to pay for his lawyer as well. I can't afford two so I was thinking about paying his lawyer to write up the contract. Does that mean he represents both of us? That doesn't seem possible.
The way I imagine it, if I pay for his lawyer, I'm not only paying for him to draft a contract but to do so without needing to represent me. It seems a little humiliating to pay someone to write a contract that benefits someone else at my expense.
Is it legal for me to pay for the other guy's lawyer? Is this normal or should I be embarrassed?
Law student here. Lawyers can represent two clients in the same matter, and often do. This normally does involve both of you signing informed consent about this, including acknowledging that you have or have declined to get independent legal advice. There are some matters where it goes against the profession's code for a lawyer to represent two people in the same matter though, where they won't be able to fulfil their obligations and loyalty to both clients. From what you've said, if the matter is merely drafting up the contract then it should be fine, but it does sound like a bit of a grey area and the lawyer may decline to represent you as well to protect themselves.
>>16833831
The person I'm paying wants me to hire a lawyer for him specifically. He was pretty clear. This is because he wants the contract reviewed in his interest because things got complicated.
>>16833851
You can't hire a lawyer for him, he'd have to approach the lawyer and retain them himself. If he wants you to pay his fees for his lawyer then that's something he's going to have to discuss with his lawyer. Between the two lawyers, they'd draft a contract, but this does seem to be the sort of thing that would be best done by one lawyer, at least practically speaking. The other guy certainly is entitled to independent legal advice once a draft contract is drawn up. If you don't want to pay his lawyer, then that's something you'd have to discuss with your own lawyer. Does that answer your question?
I'd give anything to find my life partner right now.
I'd also rather be alone right now than with someone I'm not happy with/incompatible with.
I'm not a special snowflake, but I tend to like women that are.
Most of the traits I like in women are uncommon, and some are incredibly rare.
>Switch
>Bi
>Large size
>Weeb
>Intelligent/Nerd
>Likes /sci/, /his/, /lit/
>Likes intellectualism
>Atheist
All of those which really make or break it for me are uncommon or rare among women and really apply to men.
The places I've been told to look are Unis/Libraries/Places of higher learning, and Anime Cons. And I will do the latter, but as for the former, it's embarrassing because I'm a depressed and capable but lazy piece of shit who doesn't push himself to get good grades. So I'm at a CC with the semester off at the moment.
The CC is basically filled with stupid submissive women as well as all flavors of LGT that I don't want.
I'm aware that it's ok to want what I want, and I don't think I'd change it if I could.
But the point is, I don't know if I'll find the person I'm looking for. And so, I don't know if I want to try much more or give up now.
I'm trying because I don't know what else to do.
Any /adv/? Do I give up, any general comments?
thx
nigga I just want the snake girl from Monster Musume. You think you got it rough?
>>16833781
>just a plain old girl on top of a snake's body
>doesn't even have hips or anything like the snake girls in XCOM
get better taste, start fapping to proper furries
>>16833791
monster girls are not furries you idiot. furries arent even that good anymore unless you dig really deep. this is why you dont have a gf OP, you think you know everything, but you FUCKIN DONT
So /adv/, I fell like I'm pretty much done with life. Not in a "overwheling sadness and suicidal" way but just having no more interest in being here. Like when you finish a game, there's no need to keep playing; you've seen and done everything there is to do. I fell like I've seen and learned enough to be finished. Anything here out would just be killing time till the end.
Any suggestions to kill the time. Aside from this lousy place. I though maybe charity work, but I don't really have applicable skills.
Play videogames, learn something else, masturbate I guess.
I mean, thats pretty much how everybody elses feels when we dont have nothing to do.
I guess the solution is to do stuff.
So go do some stuff anon.
How old are you OP? I'll be 21 in 2 days and I have that feeling. I just want to clock out with the happy memories I have now. I want to die with my mind at least somewhat intact. I can really only see my life getting worse from here on out.
>>16833625
>21
>I can really only see my life getting worse from here on out.
What a fucking retard.
Help me /adv/
I'm addicted to groping my female room-mate while she sleeps, since she's a heavy sleeper. I tried it once and got hooked since then, do it almost every night now. And I feel disgusted every time I'm done fapping. Not only do I feel disgusted but I know I'm risking a lot if she ever wakes up during the act.
But everytime the night falls I can't resist my instinct and if she's off covers sleeping in tight shorts I can't help but want to cop a feel.
What can I do? should I cut my balls off? I don't want to get v&
>>16833147
Just...stop? It doesn't sound that hard to quit. Release your sexual frustrations elsewhere.
stop doing it, idiot
if you ever get caught doing this, or there's enough evidence to suggest you've been doing this (or more, because it's only a matter of time before you try to hit it), you'll get some serious jail time
just stop. no strategies, except maybe bust to some regular non-rapey porn whenever you get the urge.
stop though
So...I share an office with someone. She has it days, I have it evenings and weekends. We split the rent. She found a gun in the desk and freaked the fuck out. Should I cut her out of the lease, try to smooth it over, just fucking bail cause its an llc and move my clients elsewhere?
Its pretty much legal if that matters.
>>16833021
Why'd you have a gun in the office?
>>16833063
Well, it was first there because I got an impromptu call from a friend to hit a bar and its not a great idea to go drinking while armed. Then I left it there because I work late and some of my clients are fairly sketchy.
>>16833073
That didn't answer the question completely. Why do you have a gun at work? What kind of clients do you have?
How do I stop feeling guilty about the fact that I'm attracted to other men?
I really don't want to be bisexual or gay, but over time (I'm 24) I've realized I probably masturbate to gay porn as much as or more than I masturbate to straight porn. I'm not comfortable being seen dating a man in public or anything like that, I feel like homosexuality is disgusting and unhealthy but at the same time I've been masturbating thinking about sex with men for years and pretty much don't have very good relationships with women. I consider myself a masculine man, and the only men who really interest are other very masculine men. I guess I'm bisexual but I have periods where I'm more interested in one sex than another.
I feel very conflicted and unhappy. The homosexual lifestyle doesn't appeal to me.
>>16832978
Fag.
>>16832978
Control yourself and stop masturbating.
I used to browse /d/ a lot and I fapped to vore and transformation and shit. Pretty fucking queer shit.
Anyways, like I said, I no longer cared for that shit after I stopped fapping and only looked at normal images. Just try to stop fapping all together.
What is this "homosexual lifestyle" retards keep insisting is a thing? Seriously, there are plenty of gay people who are just like everyone else. I *know* gay people who are just like everyone else, and don't just constantly have casual sex or use meth or whatever else it is they're supposedly doing all day.
Hell, I'm bisexual and don't really give fucks about it. I'm saving myself for marriage, though, because I'm kind of a Jesus freak.
Hey /adv/, femanon here. I don't understand shit of guys so please tell me what is going on and how do I gain the balls to tell him to stop. So there's this guy in one of my uni classes who is somewhat rude to me. Sometimes he lifts up my skirt, touches my ass, boobs or my hips, makes fun of me (particularly in front of his friends), seems to really like getting a rise out of me but I ignore him most of the time. However his groping has been getting on my nerves a lot and makes me feel like utter shit. I'm a really passive person so it's always difficult for me to speak up and stand up for myself. I just don't understand this kind of behavior. Last year we used to bicker a bit but then it calmed down...but now it seems like he takes every opportunity to pick on me and make me feel like shit.
What is going on?
>>16832511
Lol wut. It is sexual harassment. Report him.
>>16832511
first and foremost, send him an email saying
"Dear Anon,
This is Anonnete. you have been touching me innapropriately. Stop. I am not kidding, this is not a joke, this is not teasing, this is not cute. you are violating me. if you do it again, i will defend myself'
next day in class ask him if he got your email. thats it. if he says yes say 'good'. then never talk to him again. if he tries anything, pepperspray.
Fucking tell him dumbass.
Then when he doesn't stop you tell the police/uni/whatever.
The guys flirting with you but you are a retard and he's bad at it. Keep saying nothing about him grabbing your ass and he'll keep assuming you like it.
What was your dad and/or father figure like when you were growing up?
Later on?
The good and the bad. I want to know what I missed out on.
>>16832454
military father, gone for the first few years. we were in cuba and puerto rico but i didnt have any long term interaction with him til say... 4? when we were in puerto rico.
at the time he seemed cool. dad was always the less lenient parent, so if we needed soemthing we'd generally go to mom. this made dad frustrated, but hed say no for any reason, including laziness. mom went out of her way to say, give us a glass of milk or make us a sandwich. dad would just say 'wait til dinner' or something to that extent.
He was easily angered, but i was generally a good kid so it didnt matter much at the time. id get spanked maybe twice.
we later moved to america and things were pretty smooth sailing until my dad flew off to greece for a year. he didnt have to go, but he and my mom were having marital issues so he left three of us with her.
i didnt resent him for this until my adulthood. the year was rough. my mom was being stalked by a man (not the marital issue, this guy didnt appear until about 4 months into my dads departure) and he was terrorizing us a lot, but because he insisted on taking orders overseas, he couldnt just come back.
eventually we all moved in again, and for the next few years things were nice, but got progressively worse. if my dad had a bad day, he'd take it out on us. for the most part i wanted to do my 'own thing'. i was always rather independent. for the longest time my father would rage that i spent too much time on the computer until i picked up film editing as a hobby. he considered that 'career worthy' and he'd let me stay on the computer all day if i was making a video.
the biggest issue for the bulk of it was he expected you to have all the sensibilities, experiences, responsibilities etc. of a man, but would treat you like a child (which is kind of how most teens are treated, but to a greater extent).
>>16832474
Was your mother stay-at-home, or did she work?
>>16832474
as work became more stressful, so did life with dad. no matter how good a job we did cleaning, hed find a reason to be mad. there came a point where, despite us having a specific list of chores, we'd get in trouble if we didn't just do spring-cleaning tier chores every single day.
during the summer, hed come home during his lunch braek just to see if our chores were done. and if they werent, we'd get in trouble. which is silly cuz in the school year we wouldnt do them til 4 at the earliest, and he doesnt get home til 5 or 6.
then he retired from the military. he wanted to get a civilian security job but ended up being a stock boy at home depot. it got REALLY bad. we were remodeling an entire house at the same time (Grandpa died) and if we did anything wrong, dad would rage. understandable because this was an investment for him, but at the same time, by little brother was 12 and expecting him to know how to paint a wall correctly when he'd never done it before is a bit much. unfortunately even for a 12 year old my brother was seriously bad. he found ways to fuck up the easiest of tasks, and i ended up redoing all his work for him.
older brother inherited a very fancy truck when grandpa died, so he would just drive out of state to hang with friends (he was a legal adult) so i was forced to stay home and work on this house for the last summer. even ifi wanted to go out i couldnt cuz it was in a brand new state and i knew no one.
I'm falling for my lab partner but I'm in a 6 year relationship. Ok so I met a guy in class last semester and didn't think anything of him. Then the semester was over and we saw each other in the next course of the series and recognized each other and became lab partners.
Now that I've worked in close proximity with him I have become attracted to him. I'm in a 6 year relationship and live with my fiance. I'm happy with him but I can't stop thinking about this guy.
This guy is tall, handsome, muscular, extremely intelligent, humble, and just tries to do his best at everything. We got our exams back and he scored tthe highest in class with a 99. He wasn't even happy about it but said he couldn't believe he missed that one question. That he'll do better next time.
Anyway, my fiance and I love each other but I guess it's the same routine. Get home, he gets on his Xbox and I watch movies on my phone and make dinner, do homework and go to bed. I find myself fantasizing about this guy like he's a mythical being.
>xboxfags
Truly the biggest cucks of the gaming world.
If he isn't happy with 99% on his exam, what makes you think he'll be happy with you? Not even trying to be mean here.
Get out of your current relationship and spend a long time alone. Your fiancée deserves better than you.
>>16832161
Well, that's your problem there. You're bored of your current relationship and seek excitement elsewhere. It sounds like your boyfriend has gotten complacent over the years like many other men.
Try talking to your boyfriend about how you feel about the relationship. That, or you could have excitement with your lab partner.
